9 – Family
Liala turned away, again ignoring what the woman, who had been absent from her life for more than ten years, was telling her. It wouldn’t make any difference. She knew that it was a trap. She knew it was the stupidest thing to do, and that her brother would most likely die anyway. Yet, she had to try.
“You can pick the one you want to send along with me,” Liala said, as she started walking back to the mansion.
“Are you even listening to me, Lia?” her mother said at some point, marching next to her.
“No, I’m not,” she gave back, not turning towards her. “Because no matter what you tell me, I know. I’m not stupid. Your clan killed his daughter, and now he’s out to even the score and worse. But I have no choice…”
“It’s your clan, too!” Her mother shouted at her and Liala finally turned towards her and more; she basically ran into the woman on purpose.
“It is not my clan!” Liala hissed. “It’s yours. I’ve been here for what? Nine hours? You had me chased and raped, had me watch a rape and murder, instead of just walking up to me and telling me the truth. Instead of sending me a letter? Instead of everything a normal person possibly would do?” Liala placed her hands against her mother’s chest and pushed her backwards. “And now you expect me to abandon my little brother like you did us, no, worse?” She shook her head, almost reaching out to do the same to her mother. “He will kill Benjy. I know he will. I can’t let that happen, even if it kills me. I don’t expect you to understand.”
Liala knew very well that her mother had said the very same thing to her, a few minutes ago; she let out a long breath and continued, calmly: “Don’t you think I know what he will do to me? Do you think that I am that stupid to believe that there is a chance this ends happily? No, mom, it won’t. But if there is the slightest chance that my little brother gets out of this alive, then I will take that chance and there is nothing you can do or say to stop me.”
Her mother just looked at her and Liala could see that the woman in front of her was thinking.
“If you lock me up and prevent me from going, I will never, ever talk to you again,” Liala spoke. “You will be dead to me. I’ve lived without you before, I can do it again. I won’t be your heir, I won’t be anything.”
There it was again, that nudge.
“What are you keeping from me? Am I your heir or not? If I’m not, you have no reason to stop me from doing this,” Liala exclaimed looking at the late morning sky.
“I didn’t want to tell you until you’ve made your peace with everything,” her mother gave in.
What is it, woman?!
Liala knew before her mother said it. She had no idea how or why, but she uttered the words when her mom did.
“I have a sister?” Liala whispered, wanting to scream.
She could feel her body starting to tremble, her muscles cramping, pain and sensation rushing through her when her breath turned shallow and her heart raced. It was rage, liquid, burning rage rushed through her veins.
I’m going to shift.
Liala couldn’t believe it. Had her first shift last night broken the spell? Or was it the full moon? Or was it this insanely strong emotion? Liala never got angry, she barely knew how it felt to be furious, until now.
No! I won’t shift!
She let out a growl that sounded like a distant thunder and her mother backed away from her, wide-eyed.
Breathing heavily Liala slowly pried her fingers from her palms, knowing that she was bleeding, but she didn’t care. All she really cared about was the expression on her mother’s face: shock, confusion, disbelief, but then pride.
“You didn’t lose control!” She cheered, pissing her off.
So, that’s a big deal, kudos to me.
Liala turned around and continued walking to the manor. She knew it was important, what she just had done, but she couldn’t care less. Yes, last night was the first time she had shifted, meaning she shouldn’t be able to control herself easily like that, because she had not the slightest clue how. She was absolutely inexperienced with being a shifter, she didn’t know anything about the lore, apart from the fairy tales her mother had told her when she was a child. Most of them she couldn’t even remember, apart from the ones she had told to her little brother.
“Lia, please,” she heard her mother running behind her, catching up with her.
“You have an heir, you don’t need me,” she huffed; not trying to hope that her mother would give up, she tried to ignore her again.
She had a sister, half-sister, probably with the one she had seen last night and first thought him to be the alpha. No wonder her mother didn’t have any problems staying away from them, having another child. A child she probably taught everything she needed to know, told her about her heritage, cared for.
Liala fought against the tears that threatened to escape from her eyes, burning like acid.
“Please, Lia!” She could hear her mother not only with her ears but with her mind, and felt how she tried to make her stop walking.
What the…?
For a moment, there, Liala thought that her mother was trying to force her will on her, but then realized that what she felt was something different. She could feel her mom’s love for her, her sick worry, and how terrified she was, how helpless she felt about what was happening to Benjy.
Maybe, my mother just can’t order me, because I am divine blooded like her. Or maybe shifters can’t force their will on each other.
But still, her mother got what she wanted; Liala stopped and turned around, facing her.
“You have till I have to leave to meet with them,” she told her mom. “Find another solution, anything. But if you don’t, you must let me do this. Benjy is the only family I have left, the only I know.”
Liala flinched as her mother reached out to her and framed her face with her hands, which were surprisingly warm despite the cold weather that had her breath turning into little clouds.
“Thank you,” her mom said, surprising Liala, and her mother let her hands brush down her arms, as if she wanted to show her affection, eventually taking her hands.
All of a sudden, she felt like a ten-year-old again, with her mother looking at her full of love, fondness, and pride. Liala almost felt something like happiness, but just for the blink of an eye, as she couldn’t and wouldn’t let the image of her terrified little brother slip from her mind.
“You have to promise me that you will let me go, when it’s time and you haven’t found anything,” Liala spoke after inhaling deeply.
“I promise,” her mother still held her hands, nodding. “And if you must, you will take Nate with you.”
“Are you sure about that?” Liala frowned slightly. “Do you really want to risk him getting killed?”
“He is the one I trust most to get you out of there alive,” her mother pressed her lips to a thin line, briefly. “Or he will die trying. I don’t approve of you both being together, but I am not blind, either. He would go anyhow, even if I chose someone else and that would be breaking the deal.”
“Okay, mom,” Liala’s own voice sounded strange to her, saying the name she hadn’t used for so long. “I’ll go and talk to Kiana. She will go home after all.” That said, Liala wanted to turn around again, but her mother didn’t let go of her hands, she pulled her into an embrace.
“I just,” her mother mumbled into her hair, but didn’t continue; yet, having her that close, Liala could feel what kind of thought must been lingering in her mind.
She doesn’t want to lose me after having me back. But she isn’t the mother I remember.
Liala forced herself to return the embrace, but she felt cold while doing it. Yes, this woman looked and sounded like her mom, but it was just like with everything else from her childhood. The memories were so different from what reality looked like, exactly like the camping side in Liala’s memory, there was a completely different layer to it.
“Go to your friend,” her mother let g
o and corrected herself, quickly. “Your cousin. But if you feel like you can give me a minute, there are things I need to tell you before you go. You can find me at the shaman’s den. Anyone will be able to show you where to go.”
Liala’s skepticism had to be written all over her face, because her mother tried to smile and then sighed.
“Every clan or tribe has a worldly leader and a spiritual leader,” she explained. “After all, we shifters are part of both worlds, this and the otherworld. I will consult with the shaman and our elders to see if there is another solution.”
“Okay,” Liala said and nodded, trying to accept what her mother was telling her.
It wasn’t like it was entirely new to her, recalling the tales her mother used to tell her and some of the children’s books they still had at home. But Liala had thought it was nothing more than just that: stories to tell children for them to learn from them. Nothing more.
With another deep sigh, she eventually turned around and walked back to the manor. Kiana’s room was at the backside of the house, which was why when Liala looked up to the windows, she knew that it couldn’t be her cousin, who quickly retreated behind the curtains.
Her instinct gave her another nudge. It had to be her.
My sister.
Liala didn’t hesitate but continued walking. Her mother had three children with three different men. Learning that the boy she had brought up was only her half-brother was something hard to digest, learning that there was another sibling, a half-sister, she never had met, and maybe would never meet, if this evening ended as she expected, was a whole other kind of story.
Liala understood that her mother obviously didn’t plan to introduce them to each other, as a little girl shouldn’t have to go through meeting her elder sister, just to lose her on the same day. Liala knew she would die tonight. If she was lucky, it would be quick. If she was lucky, her brother, a half-breed, would be spared, but she was certain that Brenna’s father didn’t plan to keep him alive. She had to make sure that Benjy would escape a second time. And to make that happen, she would need Kiana. Trying to shove any other thoughts out of her mind, she continued walking towards the mansion, not giving the beauty of it or its forecourt any attention. Liala headed straight for the stairs and up to the level where her and Kiana’s rooms were, when suddenly she could see a shadow from the corner of her eye and then was struck by something colliding with her legs and stomach.
Liala knew, before she looked down, that there was a little girl hugging her. It was the brown hair with the golden shimmer that confirmed her feeling. But she was taller than she had expected. She had to be at least eight, maybe even nine or…ten.
“It’s you!” The girl cheered, but her voice sounded husky. “It’s really you!” And she hugged her pelvis even tighter, pressing her face into Liala’s lower abdomen.
Liala was stunned. She didn’t know what to say. The last thing she had expected was to be ambushed by her little sister being overjoyed to meet her.
This is just like a very weird dream.
And yet, she couldn’t stop her arms from moving and hugging the little girl back, who then suddenly pulled her face from Liala’s body and beamed up at her, tears in her eyes. And then, the girl started crying, sobbing, streams running down her cheeks. Before Liala was aware of what she was doing, she was down on her knees, holding the girl, who was sobbing into her shoulder.
What in the hell?
“Hush, sis, its okay,” she murmured into the girl’s hair, just as their mother had done, minutes earlier.
Liala had no idea for how long she stayed there, on her knees holding the sister whose name she didn’t even know. Her heart was breaking hearing the sobs of a child, not having the slightest idea what she was so upset about. It couldn’t possibly be her.
“Lia,” the girl eventually sniffled, wiping the tears off her red face, moving back just enough, so that she could look at her with the very same eyes of her mother, and her. “Lia, something bad will happen if you go to the camping spot when the sun sets.”
Liala was stunned.
How does she know?
“I’ve seen it in my dreams, you can’t go!” Her little fingers dug into Liala’s upper arms. “Terrible, terrible things are going to happen to you!”
“Wait, what?” Liala frowned, trying to make sense of it all.
“Mom doesn’t know, Lia,” the girl continued. “She wouldn’t understand. She wouldn’t want to. I never told her about my dreams. But you do, don’t you? You’ve run with me in my dreams, Lia.”
Liala felt dizzy. She had no idea what this strange girl, who was her little sister, was talking about. Sitting back onto her feet, she stared at the girl that looked exactly like her when she was her age.
“I’m Malia,” her sister told her. “You don’t remember, do you?”
Liala shook her head, and then her little half-sister did something that send a jolt of ice through her bones. She reached out and framed Liala’s face, just like their mother had done a few minutes earlier. Her small hands were cold against Liala’s warm face.
“I’ve been waiting for so, so long to finally meet you,” Malia whispered, her voice pregnant with emotion. “I’ve been with you when you were dreaming about being a wolf. I’ve been trying to reach out to you ever since I learned to control my gift, but the pills you take have shut me out.”
Suddenly, Liala heard a falcon’s cry in her head.
“You … were flying?” She asked, frowning.
“You remember!” Malia suddenly cheered, but Liala felt like she was getting a headache.
“This… this is just too much,” she pinched the bridge of her nose.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Malia brushed her little thumbs across her cheek. “I know I should have waited for mom, but I just had to warn you, had to stop you.”
“You can’t stop me,” Liala recovered quickly, glaring at the little half-sister she didn’t know she had. “It’s out of the question. I have to try and save Benjy, our brother. Yours and mine.”
Now Malia sat done on the floor the same way Liala had done, looking at her, pale-faced.
“I knew I couldn’t stop you, but I had to try,” she seemed to shrink in on herself, as if life had been sucked out of her. “I don’t want to lose you, Lia,” Malia suddenly sounded like the child she should be. “Mom told me so many things about you, when she explained the forest to me. I didn’t want to make her sad, telling her about my dreams, because I know that you don’t have them. I didn’t want to ruin her memory of you.”
Hearing those words panged deeply. It was so wrong. Liala had been angry about learning that her mother had another child, another girl, but now, now she was angry at her for making Malia feel that she was nothing more than a replacement to uphold their mother’s memory of her first-born, her heir. Liala reached out and brushed the tears off Malia’s face.
“Yes, I’m not the heir, I will be shaman one day,” the girl said, but Liala could only shake her head.
“You shouldn’t grow up with such a responsibility,” she spoke softly.
“You shouldn’t have had to grow up bringing up your little brother,” Malia answered.
“How old are you?” Liala asked.
“I’m nine.”
This is one big fuck-up. I’m dreaming and this is a nightmare. I am in a coma, lying in a hospital, recovering from a wild animal attack. This can’t be real.
“Liala,” her little sister said earnestly.
“Yes,” she answered in the same way.
“Don’t tell mom.”
It wasn’t what she expected Malia to say, and maybe that was the reason she knew that all of this was real. Just a breath later her little sister wrapped her arms around her neck and hugged her tightly, just like she was supposed to for her age, meeting her big half-sister for the first time. Liala responded, her embrace tight. She couldn’t even remember being mad about just learning about this little girl, who was obviously just as tormen
ted as she was.
Dreams, prophetic dreams even? Was being a shifter anything other than a curse? Her mother having to leave her and her brother behind, now being forced to sacrifice one of them, maybe both.
How am I supposed to wrap my head around this?
Liala had wanted to be angry at her mother, but now she realized that there was more than even one other side to this story.
She was sitting here with her little sister in her arms, whom she had never met before. And, yes, she felt angry, angry that it was her who was consoling a nine-year-old girl, who was haunted, tormented by dreams she felt were prophetic. Just when she thought that she had made a step towards forgiving her mother.
Why can’t she trust mom with this? Or did mom send her to tell me about these dreams?
Liala didn’t know what to make of all of this. It was just too much. Her world and all she had believed in hadn’t just been turned upside down, but had taken an entire 360. She wanted to understand it all, but there was no time, and no space left in her mind, which was circling around one thing, one important thing, and that was saving her little brother. But there was one thing about Malia that kept retuning into her mind, or rather her ears.
The cry of a falcon.
Why is that?
“Let me take you back to your room,” Liala said, trying to wrap her mind around why she didn’t seem to stop hearing that falcon in her head. “I don’t want mom to get mad at you for talking to me.”
It wasn’t a lie; she really didn’t want the little girl to get into trouble because of talking to her. Especially, since she knew that her mother didn’t want them to meet, because otherwise they already would have. Maybe, it wasn’t just to spare Malia maybe, it was also to spare her of more crazy.
Her little sister took her by the hand and guided her through the hallway to her room, which was almost next to her own. It was odd and saddening.
Liala couldn’t help but imagine how it must been for little Malia to know that she had an elder sister and brother out there who knew nothing of her. And how lonely she must feel, living with something like dreams that become reality, and not being able to share it with her family.
HOWL and HUNT the HEIR: HOWL 1-3 (Dark World) Page 13