by Penelope Sky
My mom walked through the archway. She wore a slight smile on her face, but her eyes were heavy like something was on her mind. She didn’t make a comment about my bare chest and hugged me. “Hey, Carter. Are you busy right now?”
“Not at all.” I hugged her back before I shut my laptop. “Everything alright?”
“I came by because I need to talk to you about something.” She was a foot shorter than me and lean like my father. Her dark brown hair was still lustrous and beautiful, and her brown eyes sparkled naturally.
My mother came all the way to my house to speak to me in private—that wasn’t good. Since Mia had just stayed with them for a few days, I could only assume that was what this discussion would be about. “Sweetheart…I mean Mia. Could you grab me a shirt, please?”
“Of course, Carter.” Mia walked away.
“You don’t need to do that, son.” Mom sat in the chair across from me. “This is your home, and I dropped by unannounced. Don’t worry about it.” She pulled her hair over one shoulder and hardly made eye contact with me.
Was she ashamed of me? Did Mia tell her everything? Would she betray me like that?
Mia returned with the t-shirt. “Can I get you something, Mrs. Barsetti? Iced tea?”
“That would be great,” Mom answered.
I pulled the black t-shirt over my head, hiding my nakedness from view. She said it was perfectly fine, but it felt disrespectful to me.
Mia returned with the iced tea along with a plate of cookies. “Let me know if you need anything.” She excused herself from the room and walked back into the kitchen, visibly uncomfortable by the tension in the room. It seemed like she knew exactly what my mother wanted to discuss.
So my mother probably knew everything. Now she was going to slap me until I saw stars. I wasn’t afraid of the pain, just the disappointment. I was an almost thirty-year-old man who had disappointed my mother. I should have grown out of that phase by now. Now I sat there in silence and waited for her to shake her head and purse her lips.
Mom watched me, her chin propped on her palm.
Like a guilty party put on trial, I exercised my right not to speak. I didn’t want to incriminate myself even more.
“Carter, this isn’t easy for me to talk about. Your father was going to join us, but I thought it would be better if it was just the two of us. I’m sorry to drop this on you at this moment, but it’s been weighing me down since Mia stayed with us.”
I wasn’t that angry that Mia had told my mother the truth. There was no way to know what the context of the situation was. But I was livid that Mia didn’t give me the decency of a warning. After everything I’d done for her, it seemed cold.
“I went into Mia’s room one night to check on her. Her back was turned to me, and she was changing. That’s when I saw the scars on her back…”
I held my mother’s gaze, seeing the picture she wove in my mind.
“Carter, I’ve seen scars like that before. I know how they got there. I know how much force it would take to leave scars so deep and painful. They marred her back so severely that it’s obvious they were created over an extended period of time.”
The pain welled up inside my chest when I realized where this conversation was going. “It wasn’t me. I would never do something like that—”
“I know that, Carter.” She raised her hand to silence me. “The thought never crossed my mind.”
I shut my mouth, relieved that my mother didn’t think I was a monster.
“But I put the pieces together and realized Mia isn’t just some woman you hired to clean up after you. You’ve never been the kind of person to have help around the house, and Mia is so young to be in that line of work. Coupled with the scars and her timid behavior, I knew there was more to the story. So I asked her about her scars…and she didn’t give me an answer. So I told her my story first…”
Her story first? What story did my mother have to tell? A blank expression must have come over my face because my mother sighed and looked away. “I don’t understand…”
“I wasn’t sure when I was going to share this story with you. I wanted to wait until you were older, but you’re nearly thirty years old…so you’ve been an adult for a long time. It’ll be hard to hear, even harder to process. But since you’ve helped Mia, an innocent woman who deserves a better life, I think it’s time.”
So Mia did tell her. And now my mother was going to share another story with me.
“I was in my early twenties when I was captured. I was with a friend at the time, and we were both enslaved by the same master…” She kept looking at the table, unable to meet my gaze.
The second she began her story, the surface of my eyes coated with moisture, and I couldn’t blink it away. I’d never been an emotional man. I was like my father, hardly capable of feeling anything real. But I had a soft spot for my family, particularly my mother. She was so strong and so loving. She didn’t deserve anything bad ever to happen to her.
“The details of the imprisonment don’t matter,” she continued, raising her gaze to meet mine. “But Mia and I aren’t so different. We’ve experienced the same kind of torture. I was better off than she was because my enslavement didn’t last nearly as long. Your father saved me. He killed the man who held me captive. And he gave me a wonderful life.”
Even though I was exposed to this kind of cruelty all the time, hearing my mother speak of it on such a personal level made me ache all over. I should have said something in response to the tale, but I simply couldn’t. My mother had been raped and tortured, and my first response was to kill the man responsible for it…but my father already took care of that. I sat in silence, speechless at the revelation and deathly heartbroken over it.
My mother watched me for a long time, practically holding her breath as she waited for me to say something.
But I couldn’t. I was too broken.
Mom continued. “Mia told me that you took her away from her master and gave her a new life. She told me how kind and compassionate you are. She told me this not to betray you, but because I pressured her for her story. And Carter…I’m so proud of you. It brings tears to my eyes to think of what you did for this woman. Most men are cruel, but you’re good just like your father. Without you, where would this woman be? How would her son be without her? You’re a hero, son. I don’t care if you risked your family to get her out of that situation. You did the right thing…and I’m so lucky to have you as my son.”
My mother had just praised me, the kind of thing I lived for. All I wanted was for my parents to be proud of me, to know raising me had been worth all the time and frustration. But now those compliments meant nothing to me because of everything she’d said before that. “Mama…I’m so sorry.” Without even realizing it, tears sprang into my eyes. I felt them glide down my cheeks toward my chin. My chest hurt so much, like I was having a heart attack. “I’m so sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say, how else to express the way I felt. Knowing someone hurt my mother like that brought me so much pain I didn’t know how to absorb the agonizing truth.
“I know…” She rested her hand on mine. “But, Carter, it was a long time ago. I’ve been very happy for a long time. I never think about that period of my life. There’s no need to feel bad for me. I’ve let it go—and I want you to as well.”
I quickly wiped away the tears with my hand and cleared my throat. “Father saved you?”
“Yes. He did.” A smile spread across her lips. “He risked everything, even his own family. You two are more alike than you ever realized.”
“Were you together before you were captured?”
“No. After. He was doing business with the man who captured me when we met. And the rest is history.”
I leaned back in my chair and dragged my hands down my face, shaken by what I’d just heard. It didn’t matter that this man was dead. That wasn’t good enough. I wanted to torture anyone he ever loved—the way he tortured my mother. I stared at the surface of the t
able and tried to combat the severe pain that throbbed everywhere. I didn’t think less of my mother for what she’d been through. But it was hard to accept that it happened before I was even born.
My mom watched me for a while, being quiet. “Take all the time you need, Carter. I know this is difficult.”
She was being patient with me when she was the one who’d suffered the way Mia had. I saw firsthand what Mia had been through, had spoken to her psychopath of a master who got off on beating her mercilessly. Instead of being patient with me, I should be the one making my mother feel better.
I moved around the table and pulled up the chair beside her. “Mama.” I grabbed her hand and held it on the table. “I’m sorry. I wish…I wish I had been there so I could have protected you.”
She smiled slightly, but tears emerged at the exact same time.
“I’ve always respected Father, but I respect him even more now.”
“He’s a good man.” She squeezed my hand. “And you’re just like him.”
I shook my head, knowing my motivation to help Mia was also selfish. I saved her because it was the right thing to do, but also because I wanted her for myself.
“Please don’t pity me, Carter,” she whispered. “It was a long time ago. I’ve made my peace with it. I hadn’t thought about it much until I saw those scars on Mia’s back. I recognized the same abuse I’d endured.”
When I reflected on my past, I realized I’d never seen my mother in a swimsuit or clothing that revealed her back. She’d kept those scars concealed from me her entire life. “You’ve hidden your scars from us…”
Mom nodded. “Yes.”
“You don’t have to hide them anymore. You shouldn’t have to hide them at all.” I looked into her eyes. “You’re a survivor, not a victim. You lived through that and made a happy home for your family. Not very people could do that, could be strong enough to carry on after something like that. I had no idea…”
Her eyes softened.
“I don’t think less of you. I think you’re a fighter, Mama. I’m proud of how strong you are.” I admired Mia for the exact same qualities, for never giving up and remaining positive. She was willing to jump out of my car and fight me with a knife because she was so determined to get back to her son. I never viewed her as weak for being captured, but for being strong since she continued to survive.
“Carter…thank you.” She squeezed my hand again. “I knew you would say that…since you’ve taken such a liking to Mia.”
“Mia is an incredible woman. I admire her. Most people would have taken the easy way out. She never did. She never gave up because she had to get back to her son. Moments like that really define who you are. Mia is a fighter…and she earned my respect.”
“And your heart.”
I looked at my mother, unsure what she meant by that. “Mia and I aren’t romantic.”
“So you’re letting her live here with her son just because?” Mom smiled as she asked the question, like she knew something I didn’t.
“She doesn’t have anywhere else to go. She doesn’t have any money or any way to support her son.”
She kept grinning. “You’re very wealthy, Carter. If you really wanted her out of your hair, you would write her a fat check and let her disappear. You let her live here because you want her here.”
I couldn’t argue with that because she was absolutely right. I bought this new house in cash at the snap of a finger. I hadn’t even sold my other place yet, but that didn’t change anything. With more money than I knew what to do with, I could make anything happen.
When I didn’t respond to the claim, Mom continued to talk. “She thinks the world of you.”
“She does?” I whispered, knowing I shouldn’t care.
“Yes. Couldn’t run out of good things to say about you.”
That shouldn’t make me feel good. It should make me feel like shit, considering the offer I originally made with her.
“I can tell she adores you…respects you…even loves you.”
Maybe some of that was true, but not all of it. “Her feelings for me aren’t that deep.”
“I don’t agree.”
“She talks about me finding someone else all the time. She knows what we have isn’t forever. It’s just…what it is.”
Mom studied my face, reading my emotions like a book. “And that bothers you.”
“I never said it did.”
“But it does.”
I angled my face away from hers, trying to make it difficult for her to read me.
“Carter, don’t forget who you are. You’re the kind of man that speaks his mind and isn’t afraid to say what he wants. If you want this woman, tell her that. If you want this woman to love you, make her.”
“Make her, huh?” I whispered.
“For someone like you, it must be easy.”
I wasn’t sure if I wanted Mia to love me at all. “She has a son… I’m not sure how I’ll feel about that.”
“Why would that change anything?”
“I’ve never had a girlfriend before. Jumping into a relationship this complicated sounds like a bad idea. The only kid I’ve ever been around is Reid, and since he’s only a few weeks old, that doesn’t count. I’m not ready to be a father, let alone a stepfather.”
“But you’re going to live with both of them?”
“It doesn’t change anything. He’s her responsibility—not mine.”
Mom pulled her hand away. “It sounds to me like you don’t want commitment, but you want everything else.”
“Maybe.”
“I think it’s inevitable, Carter. Just accept it—it’s not so bad.”
I pulled my hand off the table and considered what she said. “After what Mia has been through, I don’t think she’s looking for love. She said she wants to raise her son and focus on him. She doesn’t trust men.”
“Except you. Like I said, she couldn’t say enough good things about you.”
“I’m not good enough for her…” She was in my captivity for a month, and I never tried to save her. The only reason I did was because I got attached to her, enjoyed sleeping with her. She was the one in a bad situation who never gave up. She was a much stronger person than I would ever be.
“You saved her, Carter. You reunited her with her son. Sounds like you’re the only man who’s worthy of her.”
“No offense, Mama, but you’re blinded by love.”
“No.” She rested her hand on my arm. “I know you better than you think I do. I know that Mia would still be a prisoner if it weren’t for you, that she would have died without seeing her son ever again. You’re her savior, the only man brave enough to do the right thing. Any other man she meets will never compare to you. Maybe you don’t see it right now…but you’re the only man she’s ever going to want.”
After my mother left, I went to the second floor where Mia’s bedroom was. Since she was nowhere to be found, I assumed she was purposely avoiding me, knowing I would be angry that she told my mother the truth about our situation.
I tapped my knuckles against the door, giving her the option to deny me if she wished. It was the kind of freedom she didn’t have before, and since it meant so much to her, I never infringed on it—even though this was my house.
“Come in.”
I stepped inside, seeing her on the couch in her private living room. She was in the same dress she wore earlier, her feet pulled up to her knees. She stared at me with trepidation, like she didn’t know what might happen now that we were face-to-face.
I slowly approached her, seeing the fear on her face. I stopped and stared at her, saying nothing.
She didn’t say anything either.
I kept looking at her until she lowered her gaze.
“I’m sorry I told your mother. But she saw the scars on my back and pretty much pulled everything out of me.”
“I’m not angry.”
She lifted her gaze again. “Then why do you look so angry?”
> “She told me what happened to her…” My mother assured me she was fine, that it was so long ago that it didn’t matter anymore. She made her peace with the past and moved on, finding happiness with my father and the family they made together. If my father hadn’t saved her, I never would have been born.
“Are you okay?”
“Not sure yet.” I lowered myself onto the cushion beside her, my eyes still slightly puffy from the tears I’d shed earlier. “My chest still hurts, and I can’t remember the last time I shed tears. But when she told me, I couldn’t help it. My mother didn’t deserve that.”
Mia scooted closer to me, her hand resting against my back and her face close to mine. “I’m sorry…I know how much it must hurt.”
“It was a long time ago and she seems fine with it, but…it kills me inside. I want to kill the man who did this to her. He’s already dead because my father took care of that, but that’s not enough justice.”
“It’s not.”
“She was the one comforting me…when I should have been the one comforting her. I told her I was proud of her for being so strong, for not letting that experience sabotage the rest of her life. She refused to let that evil defeat her. Most people don’t have that kind of strength.”
Mia smiled. “I’m sure that meant a lot to her.”
“I think it did. I’m proud to call her my mother, even more than I was before. But it still kills me inside.”
She rubbed my back. “I know.”
“I wish I had been a man then like I am now. I could have protected her. I could have made sure nothing ever happened to her. If something were to happen today, I would mutilate the guy stupid enough to try.”
“I’m sure she knows that, Carter.”
“It’ll take a while for me to get over this…”
“That’s understandable.”
I stared at the carpet beneath our feet, feeling this beautiful woman comfort me with her touch. “She said she was proud of me for helping you. Said it’s exactly what she would have wanted me to do.”
“She should be proud of you,” she whispered.