Tania couldn’t answer. It was no wonder the others had left. None of them would want to brave Lucien’s presence.
“Ah, poor faery. You do not want to die, do you?”
Tania looked to the side, not seeing any of her faeries, before staring back up into his black eyes. She felt abandoned. Lucien gracefully kneeled over her, straddling her waist with his knees. The chill continued up her body until she shivered uncontrollably.
“Little faery, what did Lord Bellemare do to you?” The Damned King caressed her cheek before moving his hand to rest over her heart. Gasping, he closed his eyes and took several stunted breaths before pulling it away. When he again looked at her, his gaze burned and he was smiling. “Ah, your pain.” He leaned over her, rubbing his cheek next to hers, breathing hard as if aroused. “Such sweet heartbreak.” A tear slid from her eye and he licked the trail, following it with the tip of his tongue. “Such delicious sorrow.” His tongue veered off-course and ran over the part of her lips. All of a sudden, he kissed her hard, stealing her breath before letting go. “Your pain makes me want you, but you are broken. Used. He used you, Tania, did he not? Lord Bellemare used you and now he is gone, leaving you to die.”
More tears slid from her eyes.
“Look how he has left you, poor little faery,” Lucien continued. “Look at what he has done.”
Fire blazed on the tips of his uplifted fingers before forming into a silver mirror. He held it over her. Tania didn’t want to see, but she couldn’t stop herself from looking. Her hair was black, as were her eyes and lips, even her tears. They contrasted what pale skin she had left. The dark lines had grown over her, a vine attesting to her sorrow. No wonder the faeries cringed away from her. She didn’t recognize herself.
“Give yourself to me. Give me your soul and I will give you peace,” Lucien promised. “You know I have that power. I can free you. I can save your faeries if you pledge yourself to me.”
She shook her head in denial. The slight gesture was enough. His face contorted in irritation.
“He has done this and you still love him?” Lucien growled. “He used you, Tania, used you and left you. I promise never to leave you.”
She knew he was lying and regretted the day she’d made her pact with him to bring Hugh to her. Time would have shown Hugh back to her if that is what fate wanted for her. She should have never pushed. But she defied fate and was selfish. This dark punishment was her reward for such greed.
That was all done with. She had a choice to make. Did she save herself and faery magic by agreeing to serve the Damned King, or did she take the consequences of her actions? If she saved the faeries, what would she be saving them for?
“As you wish, my queen,” Lucien said when she did not agree to his terms. He stood and threw the mirror, which puffed into smoke before hitting the ground. “I kept my bargain and now it is time for you to keep yours before you die. I get my night in the mortal realm.”
“Step…” Lily tried to say, her voice weak. Tania couldn’t see her, or her sister.
“Step back,” Roslyn added.
“Stay away from her,” said Lily. “Get out of here. She will never agree to your offer. Leave this palace at once!”
Lucien tossed back his head and laughed. “As you wish, little faery.”
Tania moaned as Lucien wrapped them in darkness, knowing he carried her away from the palace, away from her subjects and friends. They had made a blood pact, a foolish bargain which she would be forced to keep. Perhaps that is why she had yet to die. She had a deal to uphold. The balance of all magic demanded it.
“Merrick.” Ladon didn’t say much, but he did say his brother’s name. Often.
“What did Lucien do to you?” Ean asked, not for the first time. Nearly sixty years had passed since he had seen Ladon, but it didn’t matter. He knew him the second their eyes met. His brother was alive.
Ladon looked worn, but being imprisoned for as long as he had been would do that to a man. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse from little use, but he did speak and, though the words were sparse, Ean could understand what he was trying to say.
“Merrick,” Ladon repeated. Ean had told him of Merrick’s new kingdom, but had gotten little of Ladon’s story from him. It was clear his brother didn’t remember all that had happened to him, or much about where he’d been for the last sixty years. All Ladon knew for sure was that he urgently wanted to see Merrick. Ean didn’t know why. All these years he thought it Merrick’s fault Ladon and Wolfe had died. Now, Ladon was here and Wolfe was possibly kept prisoner in Lucien’s hold.
“Merrick is not the same brother you remember,” Ean tried to explain. “After you disappeared, he took the unblessed throne. He started the war we now fight. There is no blessing on him, not anymore. I fear what he will do to you. Your powers are weak, Ladon, I feel that they are, and you do not remember everything that has happened to you. Merrick might take advantage of that and turn you to the unblessed. I do not know what he is capable of anymore. I want to believe the best in him, but I cannot.”
“Merrick,” Ladon insisted, his eyes hardening with determination. Ean had forgotten how stubborn he was when he wanted something.
“How can I deny you?” Ean answered, not wanting to let his brother leave but unable to think of a good excuse to make him stay. Every reason he had was a selfish one. “The Bellemare brothers ride to see their sister, Juliana. She is Merrick’s wife. You may go with them. But I will be listening for your call, Ladon. If you need me…” Ean took a deep breath, desperately not wanting to let him go. “Please, reach out to me if you need me. When you are done at Merrick’s, come back so that I may protect you. I’ll bring you home and summons the best magical healers in the realm to help you. You will be safe at Tegwen.”
“Yesterday.” Ladon glanced at the earl, Thomas and William who waited beside some of Tegwen’s horses with Nicholas. Ean had sent the unicorns back with Laurent only to have the elf guard bring back regular mounts so Merrick wouldn’t get his hands on the unicorns. He’d been right in his instinct to initially bring them on this journey. The unicorn’s power was what had most likely guided him to find Ladon.
“I know it was like yesterday to you, but it has been fifty-seven years since you disappeared.” Ean wanted to ask him again what had happened, but Ladon didn’t know. Mayhap seeing Merrick would help him remember. Then, there was the small part of him that believed Merrick had a right to know Ladon lived. And Wolfe, who could even now be alive and imprisoned.
Ean couldn’t think of a way to get into Lucien’s prisons, but Merrick might be able to. If Wolfe was alive, mayhap Merrick could find him. Ean hated feeling helpless, but in this situation he was. It was very possible Merrick could do more.
“Take care and come home, Ladon,” Ean said, knowing he had to let him go. “Just come home.”
Ladon nodded, lifted his hand, hesitated and then patted Ean’s arm. It was the first willing sign of affection he’d given. Ean covered the hand briefly before letting go. Ladon turned to join Hugh and the others, swinging up onto a horse that waited beside Nicholas’. The Blessed King watched but Ladon didn’t look back as the group rode off into the forest.
Hugh didn’t care that Nicholas wanted to go home or that Prince Ladon wanted to see his brother. How could he after what Thomas told him about his visit to the Black Palace to see their sister. Merrick was hiding Juliana from them and he had no way of knowing if she was safe.
Worry flooded him with every beat of his heart—worry for his family, worry for Bellemare and the horses, but surprisingly also worry for Tania as well. He couldn’t get the faery out of his head and he kept seeing her face as he’d left her on her palace floor. There had been something in her eyes, something he hadn’t wanted to see at the time. And her voice, how it had pleaded with him! Just to remember the tone cut him to the core. She sounded as if she’d been heartbroken. Even if that was true, there was no reason for him to worry about her. No one died of a broken heart, n
ot really.
Despite his best efforts, Hugh realized he loved her. He loved the faery queen. But how did he know if that love was real? What if it was only a spell? How could he ever know for sure? If he felt love for her, and that love felt real, then did it matter if it was of his doing or not? And why was he even allowing himself to think about it? Nothing would come of him and the faery queen. She belonged here and he belonged at Bellemare. They came from different worlds.
A pain came over him as he thought of her.
No one dies of a broken heart, he assured himself.
“It would be better if it was a spell,” Hugh said thoughtfully. He rode faster, wanting the journey to be over. Then it will not hurt once I get her to take the accursed thing off me.
“It was.” William matched the earl’s new pace, catching up to him.
“What?” Hugh blinked, coming out of his thoughts. He hadn’t really been paying attention to the fact that others could be listening as he mumbled to himself. It only proved how preoccupied he was.
“What happened to you at Feia? It was euphoria,” William said. “That is what you were talking about, is it not? You had that look on your face. The look you get when you think of Queen Tania.”
“I…”
“You do get that look.” Thomas joined them, riding along the opposite side William was on. “What is euphoria?”
“That is what the faeries call the little bits of magic that wrap you in pleasure and suspend the mind from all rational thoughts.” William sighed heavily. “You experienced it, Thomas, when Tania trapped you in her palace and the faery ladies came to your bed to give you pleasures upon pleasures upon plea—”
“Mmm,” Thomas nodded, grinning. “I like euphoria.”
“They drug you and take away your will,” Hugh reminded his brothers. “No pleasure gained is worth that cost.”
“Faeries cannot help it, not always.”
Hugh frowned, seeing matching expressions on his brothers before they all turned around to look at Prince Ladon. Nicholas rode beside him, staring off into the forest. The man didn’t say much, but Hugh didn’t expect him to.
“The euphoria,” Ladon said, his tone flat. “When faeries are excited, they put off pheromones—the little magical lights you see coming from their wings. It happens when they are aroused, or during sex, or for some even if they are in love or feeling great overwhelming bursts of pleasure. Their magic overflows out of them because it is so powerful that they cannot contain it. If you do not fight the magic, the feeling will consume whoever it touches—thus the reason it is called euphoria.”
“You are talking,” William said, stunned.
“I do not know why I remember that so clearly when everything else is a blur.” Ladon ignored William’s declaration of surprise.
“Who doesn’t want to remember faery euphoria?” Thomas chuckled before catching Hugh’s eyes. His smile faded and he cleared his throat.
“Perchance you are right. I found much pleasure in the arms of faery ladies. I can remember pleasant things,” Ladon mused.
“So you suffered this euphoria?” Hugh asked.
“Nay, not fully. It is too unpredictable and one can never be sure when the spell of it will end. Elves know how to protect themselves against falling into the feeling completely.” Ladon was staring at Hugh when the earl turned around to study the elf’s face. “But for those who do not, it can be all consuming.”
“That is my point,” Hugh said. “Drugged. She knew what she was doing.”
“Who?” Ladon nudged his horse closer. They rode into a clearing and all four horses fit side by side. Nicholas didn’t join them as he stayed behind.
“Hugh?” Thomas asked, when no one answered.
“Queen Tania,” Hugh said through gritted teeth. “She drugged me with this euphoria.”
“Mmm, not possible,” Ladon dismissed, shaking his head. “Unless… Has a faery king been crowned?”
“Nay,” William said.
“Then it cannot be the queen who did it to you,” Ladon said. “It is not possible. Are you sure it was not one of her ladies? They enjoy games.”
“Why would you say it cannot be Queen Tania?” Hugh frowned. He’d been there. He knew very well what Tania was capable of and he definitely knew who she was.
“She is not like the others,” Ladon said.
“You mean she does not have the pheromone?” Thomas asked.
“I am sure she does,” Ladon answered.
“She does,” Hugh confirmed.
“But she would never use it,” Ladon said. “Not for sex. Not in such a great amount as to hold a man under her spell. She cannot.”
“Ah, right, right,” William pointed at him, getting excited as he squirmed in his seat. “Wait, but she did. So that means…”
“Right what?” Hugh demanded. “Means what?”
“You know.” William gave him a meaningful look.
“Know what?” Hugh reined his horse to a stop. “William, out with it! I have no patience for this conversation or your mysterious ramblings.”
“You know, Hugh. That Queen Tania is, was a virgin before you and she…” William touched the earl’s arm. “You did realize she was untouched, did you not? I do not see how you could miss such a thing as that.”
A maiden? Hugh wasn’t sure what to say. It couldn’t be true.
“Hugh? How could you not know something like that? I realize it has been a long time since you have been with a woman, but…”
“Why did you not tell me?” Hugh directed his question more at Tania who couldn’t possibly hear him or answer.
“I did not think you would miss such a thing,” William answered. “Truly, Hugh, if you would like help with the fairer sex, I would be happy to give you some instruction as to how to—”
“Nay,” Hugh said hastily, nudging his horse in the side to get him to move along the path, away from his brothers and Prince Ladon. He did not want to talk about his time in Tania’s palace anymore. “Sixty years ago when you knew her Prince Ladon, she might have been innocent, but there is nothing innocent about the woman who took me to her bed. She knew what she was doing.”
Even as he said it, he wasn’t sure. Their first time together had been a blur. Hugh nudged the animal again, causing it to dart in front of the others. Within moments, the sound of horses’ hooves was behind him, beating against the hard earthen path.
“Hugh!” Thomas yelled.
Hugh, not wanting to slow, leaned low against the horse’s neck and rode faster. Forget saving the horse’s legs by taking it easy. He needed to get to Merrick’s castle.
“Hugh, hold! It is Nicholas! He is gone,” yelled William. “We cannot leave him behind.”
“Blessed saints!” Hugh sat up, looking behind him. Whipping his horse around, he galloped back down the path. As he passed his brothers, he ordered, “Try to find him.”
Hugh slowed, studying the ground for signs that a horse veered off course. The ground was uneven and the path worn. It was hard to tell. Not knowing what strange urge unexpectedly compelled him, he jumped off the mount and walked straight into the woods without any clue as to where he was going.
All around him, the forest became dense—too dense to see through to any distance. Leaves fell around him like gentle yellow-gold raindrops, covering the floor and crunching under his feet as he walked. It was early in the season, too early for falling leaves, but Hugh stopped trying to make sense of the immortal realm. Little spots of light danced along the floor, shining through the high tree limbs.
Then a voice carried over to him, stopping him as it said, “I beg you, take it away…”
Chapter Ten
“I beg you to take it.”
Hugh frowned. Nicholas was speaking, imploring actually. His voice sounded clear, nothing like he’d expect from the lethargic man he’d been escorting around the forest.
“I do not want to live. Please, take away my pain. I’ll give you anything you want, just make
it stop. I do not want to see anymore.”
Who was Nicholas talking to?
“You know the price, Sir Nicholas,” a familiar voice answered. Hugh could never forget the smooth nature of that tone. It was King Lucien.
Hugh stopped as the leaves turned black and fell upon varying shades of gray earth. Even Hugh’s skin was gray, as if something sucked the color from his flesh, from his clothes and from the forest. Behind him, he saw light and color, but where he walked, where Lucien and Nicholas were, there was none.
Good sense would bid him to turn around and go to his brothers, to run away from this madness, but honor compelled him forward. How could he abandon his friend, no matter his sins? He was not Nicholas’ judge.
Hugh stepped around a tree. Nicholas knelt on the ground, his arms wide and pleading as he beseeched King Lucien, “Aye, take my soul, end my pain, take my soul.”
“Nicholas, nay!” Hugh shouted. “You do not know what you ask for.”
“I accept.” Lucien’s head was lowered as he looked down at Nicholas. He lifted his eyes to Hugh, filled with fire and hate.
Nicholas shook violently and was slower to look at him. Tears poured from his eyes and he sobbed, “Leave this, Hugh. This does not concern you. Leave it.”
Lucien kicked Nicholas in the chest, sending him flying backward with a hard grunt. Nicholas hit the ground and skidded along the forest floor. He kept weeping.
“I have been waiting for you, Lord Bellemare,” Lucien said. “I knew you would come for me.”
“I came to find Nicholas so that I could bring him home,” Hugh said. “He is not himself.”
“Of course he is,” Lucien waved at the fallen man. “He is exactly himself—a pathetic mongrel. See how easily his soul is broken and bartered? He gives it to me, just hands it over. Most people who come to me are desperate to trade for something they think has value. But, Nicholas, he just comes to end his own pitiable suffering.”
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