Popularity is Just an Equation

by A. R. Perry

  The bell shrills over my head, and I kick my locker. Whatever. I can’t worry about all this. I need to go to class and figure out a way to avoid Carter because there is no way I’m sitting with him. I’m not ready and there is no doubt Cristy will try to rip me a new one. That would just be a cherry on this crap sundae of a day.

  When lunch rolls around, I realize I’ve run out of ideas on how to escape Carter’s lunch invite. Short of playing sick—something my mother would never buy—there’s no way I can leave and not be caught.

  Jordan smirks at me as I remain planted in my seat while the other students file out. Unluckily for me, he’s in this class. In fact, I’ve noticed there’s not a single class I’m free of one of Carter’s friends and/or exes.

  “It will be fine, Red. We don’t bite.” He jumps up and leans over my desk so his face is inches from mine. “Hard.”

  This wins a laugh from me because he could not be cheesier if he tried. “You realize this will end with bloodshed, right? Cristy won’t go for this at all.”

  “Eh.” He shrugs, standing up straight. “She’ll eventually move on to another victim.”

  I remain in my seat, glaring up at Jordan. “Why do you care if I sit with you?”

  “I think you’re cool,” he says it with such a calm and breezy tone I can’t find the words to disagree.

  If one of the popular kids is deeming me cool, who am I to argue?

  “Fine.” I stand, dragging my bag with me. “But only this once and only because you owe me a treat for kicking your butt at paintball.”

  He grimaces, slinging his arm over my shoulder. “If you never mention that again I’ll buy you a cookie.”

  I hiss through my teeth. “I make no promises.”

  “Man, you look all sweet, but you’re vicious. I can see why he—”

  “Am I interrupting something?”

  Both of us twist toward the door and find Carter leaning against the frame, glancing between us before focusing on Jordan’s arm still wrapped around my shoulders. I swear every muscle in his entire body stiffens.

  “Hey,” I squeak because if looks could kill we would both drop dead.

  “I’m just collecting our girl,” Jordan says with a squeeze.

  “Our girl?” His voice turns harsh, punctuated by Carter’s hands clenching into fists. “I wasn’t aware you two were tight.”

  “We aren’t.” The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them. I don’t know why, but I have an overwhelming need to make it clear to Carter that nothing is going on here. I step to the side, letting Jordan’s arm fall off me. “He was waiting for me ‘cause we’re all having lunch together today. Yay.” I throw my hands up in the air and wave them.

  Yeah. I’m either coming off as a major dork or a total psycho.

  Jordan snickers at my side, but Carter remains stoic, staring at me.

  “So, we should go before they run out of pizza. Who could live without that, right?” When I try to walk past Carter, he grabs my arm, halting me.

  “Can you give us a sec?” He directs his question to Jordan but doesn’t take his eyes off me.

  Say no. Say no. Say no.

  “Sure.”

  I try to keep the cringe off my face but don’t think I do a good job. I have an awful habit of showing emotion on my face─unfiltered─when I don’t mean to.

  When Jordan slips past us, I shift my focus to Carter’s chest, pretending to be interested in the wording. I’m not fooling anyone and my nerves have got to be apparent. No clue why I’m nervous. This is Carter and I have done nothing wrong except be nice to his friends.

  “Is there something going on between you two, ‘cause I thought I was trying to set you up with Nash?” he asks after a few silent minutes.

  This gets my attention and I rear back, focusing on his angry face. “Say it louder why don’t you?” Geez. All I need is for the whole dang school to hear about my crazy plan.

  “Is there?”

  “No.” I pry my arm from his and storm out the door and into the deserted hallway.

  The nerve of this guy. First, I’m not interested in either of his friends. Sure, he believes I’m into Nash and that’s my fault for allowing that white lie to continue. But even if I changed my mind, even if I developed feelings for Jordan, that’s none of his business.

  “Hey.” He catches up to me in a few long strides but I whirl around before he can touch me again.

  “What?”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t…” He runs a hand through his unusually messy hair. That’s when I notice that not only does he seem off, but he also appears to have had zero sleep in the past few days, what with the dark circles under his eyes.

  “It just seemed like you were flirting with him and Jordan will flirt with anyone.”

  “Ouch. Thanks for that.”

  “No.” He waves off my comment, his eyes popping wide in realization. “Not like that. I’m just saying I don’t want you to destroy all the progress we’ve made. Jordan likes to mess with people and if he catches wind of Nash and you, he’ll want to screw with you guys.”

  “He was walking me to lunch. I figured you sent him.”

  Carter relaxes a bit now that I’ve softened my tone. “No. I mentioned you were joining us and he took it upon himself.”

  I cross my arms over my chest, still not ready to let go of my irritation. He may not be my favorite person at the moment and lunch with him and his ex is quite literally the last thing I would ever want to do, but there’s something about his energy that makes me spit out my next words.

  “Are you okay?”

  “What? Yeah, of course.” He straightens, pulling back his shoulders so he’s once again towering over me.

  “Did you sleep at all last night?”

  He lets out a heavy breath. “Not really. Finals have me on edge.”

  “Those are more than a month away.”

  “Exactly. According to dear old Dad, I’m already behind.” His tone holds so much anger it’s almost a living, breathing entity.

  I never knew him and his dad didn’t get along. They always seemed like the perfect family whenever we were all together.

  “Hey.” I reach out, grabbing his hand. The contact shocks us both and for a second, we stand there staring at where my fingers disappear under his palm.

  I break the silence first because if I stand here analyzing the way there’s electric energy between our skin, I’ll be the one up all night. Shoving whatever this feeling is under the rug sounds far more ideal. “If you ever need to talk, I’m here. I make a fantastic study buddy.”

  His green eyes meet mine and for the first time, I notice the flecks of amber around his pupils. Butterflies swarm my stomach and I step back before I do something stupid like bite that full bottom lip.

  “We should get to lunch, yeah?”

  “Yeah.” He blinks, snapping out of his funk. A smile spreads over his face, returning him to the Carter I’ve always known. “This should be fun.”

  “Super excited.”

  This has him laughing as we walk side by side to the cafeteria. “Stop pretending you hate this idea. You’ll get to sit with your dream guy.”

  “My dream guy?” I roll my eyes. “Did I ever call him that because I don’t think I did.”

  “He might realize I’m the girl of his dreams.” He uses a high-pitched voice to do a horrible job imitating me.

  “See, I said ‘girl of his dreams’. He’d be winning the freaking lottery if I gave him a chance.” I mean it as a joke, but it has the opposite effect, sobering Carter up and cutting off his laughter.

  “Yeah, he would.”

  I don’t get a chance to respond or even process his words, because the second the words are out of his mouth, we step inside the bustling cafeteria. Carter steers me toward his table with a hand on the middle of my back. If I didn’t want to run away from this situation, I sure as hell do now.

  My Yoda is over here acting hot and cold every two seconds wh
ich doesn’t instill me with confidence. As we walk the short distance from the door to his table, I can’t help noticing all the eyes following us. People have seen us talk at parties and a few times in the hall, but this is the first time we’ve made a public show of our friendship. If I can even call it that.

  Now, I have a terrible sensation I’m seconds away from being fed to the wolves.

  “What took you guys so long?” Jordan asks with an evil glint in his eye.

  “I’m surprised you noticed something other than your own reflection,” Carter says as he takes a seat next to his friend, leaving a gap between him and Nash.

  Fear takes over and I stand at the end of the table, awkwardly playing with the edge of my tank. This is it. The moment I’ve planned for, but somehow, it’s not as satisfying as I'd imagined.

  I glance over to my left where John has been sitting every day since he dumped me and there he is, glaring at me, ignoring his newly-acquired friends as they talk around him.

  This. This right here should feel good. I’ve almost proven my point. So why do I have a sour ache in my stomach?

  “You gonna sit down?” Nash asks.

  I blink, snapping out of my weirdo impression of a robot midreboot and force a smile. Someone snickers at the other end and I don’t need to look to know it’s Cristy. I’m sure she’s getting a kick out of my epic fail.

  Praying I don’t make a bigger fool out of myself, I take the seat next to Nash, almost tumbling onto the table when my foot catches. More laughter, this time from several people. I smile and flick my hair over my shoulder, pretending that I’m not dying on the inside.

  I glance across the room hoping for moral support and see Blythe watching me with a grin on her face and Claire glaring. She hasn’t supported this from the beginning, but at some point, I figured she’d come around. If she’d ever return my calls or speak more than ten words to me, I could ask what is going on with her.

  Carter nudges me in the side under the table where no one can see, pulling me back to an unfortunate situation where several people are outright staring at me. Those who aren’t staring are eyeing Cristy, who is busy glaring at me.

  This is one of those moments where people choose sides. Not a position I ever want to be in. For crying out loud, I always turn down team captain during PE because I don’t want that kind of pressure on me.

  So why did I think playing with the popular kids was a good idea?

  Oh, right, I’m an idiot.

  Carter clears his throat, taking it upon himself the ease some of the tension. “You ready for your party?”

  Nash smiles, wiping his greasy hands on a napkin. “Almost. I’ve slowly been stockpiling booze. They would card me for sure if I rolled up with a cart of hard liquor.”

  “So that’s why we’ve been stuck with crappy beer at the bonfires?” someone asks from the middle of the table.

  He shrugs. “You’re lucky we even have that. If my parents ever found the stash in the basement, I’d be grounded for life.” Nash bumps my shoulder with his. “You should come.”

  Holy hell. I open my mouth to say something. Agree? Tell him no thanks? I haven’t even made up my mind and I don’t get the chance to.

  “Is this really happening right now?” Cristy slams her hands on the table, standing up. “I didn’t know it was Adopt-a-Loser month.”

  “Watch it, Cristy,” Carter snaps.

  “Yeah, chill, girl.” Jordan takes a bite out of his pizza, not even frazzled in the slightest by her death glare. They might all be used to it, but I’m trying to even out my breathing.

  “Don’t tell me what to do.” She glances at Carter, who seems bored with her outburst before focusing on me. “Whatever game you’re playing at ends here.”

  “There’s no game,” I say to the tabletop because I’m a complete wuss.

  “I said back off.” Carter’s hand slips under the table and squeezes mine.

  No one else can see it, but somehow the gesture and the warmth from his hand gives me the strength to lift my head and meet her glare.

  “I’m just here to eat some lunch.”

  She scoffs, focusing on the empty space in front of me. Yeah, we were so late we didn’t have time to stop and grab something. A fact my stomach will regret later.

  Before she responds, Nash steps in. “I invited her, just like I’m inviting her to my party. So, you can retract the claws now.”

  Carter’s hand on mine tenses, squeezing so hard it almost hurts before he lets go. In the next breath, he stands, leaving my side cold and vulnerable if Cristy launches over the table and rips out my throat with her spiked nails.

  “Glad that’s settled. I’m going to grab something to eat.” He walks away without a backward glance.

  Cristy growls and stomps her foot before leaving in the opposite direction. I would have put money on her following him and making a bigger scene, but I guess being put in her place by King Nash was enough to knock her confidence.

  When no one says anything, and the tension builds to the point where I’m on the verge of babbling, Jordan laughs. “Well. That went better than expected.”

  All week I’ve avoided Piper. Even more so than the start of the week. I’ve left classes later. Taken new routes. Covered my shifts at the bakery. If I thought the moment we shared at the paintball field was bad, hearing Nash tell the whole table how he wants her at his party, marking his territory, was akin to a knife slicing through my gut.

  Now it’s Saturday afternoon and I’m sprawled on my bed staring at the ceiling. There’s a pile of homework on my desk collecting dust, and not even a five-mile run calmed my nerves. This plan started off so simple. Help an old friend. I wasn’t supposed to get invested. I wasn’t supposed to catch feelings. Yet here I am. The silence is deafening and I almost wish my dad would pick a fight over my future so I’d have something else to think about.

  What’s worse is I have to head to Nash’s house in less than two hours to help him set up. For a party that Piper will be at because he invited her. The plan worked all too well, and he’s gonna make a move. I’ll have to watch them flirt and dance and at some point, he’ll go in for a kiss.

  Groaning, I roll over and bury my face in my pillow. If the universe loves me, it will send an earthquake over ASAP. Nothing too terrible. But maybe something will fall on my head and knock me out for a few days and keep me away from people. Bonus points if it rattles my brain enough to make me forget the past few weeks.

  My phone pings on the nightstand. Part of me wants to ignore whoever it is and continue to wallow like a loser, but I don’t want my friends catching on. Especially not Nash. Piper would kill me, and he would back down because he’s my best friend and always wants what he thinks is best.

  I slap the nightstand, blindly searching for my phone and end up knocking it on the ground. It bounces under the bed, and I hang off the mattress, staring at the carpet.

  I need to pull myself together. Not even Cristy dumping me had me this pathetic, so why is Piper affecting me like this? It’s not as if we’ve had anything real. We’re sorta friends who knew each other way back when. I just need to rebound hard or something.

  I shake my head, sitting up. That’s it. I never rebounded after Cristy, so my brain is latching on to the first girl I spent time with.

  God, I really am a loser.

  I pat around under my bed and come out with my phone. The screen lights up, displaying a text from Nash. He probably wants me to come over earlier. Knowing him, he has some stupid and no doubt reckless plan that will for sure get him grounded.

  When I open the message, my eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

  Nash: Dude. ‘Rents found stash. Party off. Grounded for life. I sent a group text 2 spread the word but don’t have Piper’s #. Text her for me?

  I shouldn’t be this relieved, but I am. No party means no Piper. I can handle a weekend of freedom. Maybe I’ll pick up a shift at the bakery. Mindless work seems like a brilliant way to pass the time. And a
ccording to my mom, Piper hasn’t been in so it should be safe now.

  My thumb scrolls through my contacts ready to shoot off a quick text to Piper letting her know the party is canceled. When I open our messages and see the last one from her earlier in the week asking if she needs to put out a missing person report for me, I laugh. She deserves more than a text. The party being canceled will crush her. No doubt she had some big move planned to seal the deal with Nash.

  I click on her number and it rings only twice before her sweet voice fills my ears. “Oh my gosh, you’re alive. I was ready to send out a search party.”

  I laugh, reclining on my bed and propping my head up on a pillow. “Alive and the bearer of bad news I’m afraid.”

  “Don’t tell me…you smacked your head on the field and have taken Cristy back?”

  I snort. “Never. Not even with a brain injury.”

  “Well—” the phone shuffles and someone laughs in the background, “—I can rest well at night now.” She shushes someone on the other line, no doubt Blythe. “What’s up?”

  Might as well lay it out there. “Nash’s party got canceled.”

  “Oh.” Disappointment is obvious in her voice. “That sucks. Hold on.” Her voice is muffled, but I can hear her relaying the info.

  “He didn’t have your number, so he asked me to tell you.”

  “What happened?”

  “His parents busted him. I told him hiding booze in the basement was a terrible idea.”

  “Come on, hasn’t he seen a single teen movie? You never roll in the booze until your parents are gone.”

  “Right?”

  Silence stretches between us. Blythe is in the background going on about something, but Piper hasn’t responded. When we reach awkward territory, I clear my throat. I need to get off the phone. I shouldn’t have called. God, hearing her voice is pure torture.