by A. R. Perry
My jaw clenches, and Jordan snorts.
“We’re juniors. Why would I have college picked out?” Jordan asks.
“Because junior year is almost over…”
Don’t remind me. My dad has been riding me more than normal. Pick a school. Get your grades up higher. As if I’m not in the top ten of our class. He even bought books on the SATs and one for the BAR exam so I could get a head start. My SAT practice tests weren’t up to snuff according to him.
The only thing I want to get a head start on is running off a bridge if he continues to plan out my entire future as if it’s his own.
Jordan swats the air. “We have months before any of that needs to be decided. For me, it’s gonna be whoever gives me the best football scholarship.”
Lucky bastard.
“What about you, Carter?”
Before I even respond, Jordan shakes his head. “Touchy subject.”
Now I really want to punch him. Her parents are friends with my parents. The last thing I need is for her to mention something to her mom and have it get back to my dad. I’m barely hanging on now—I don’t need him up my butt even more.
"Forget college. We should focus on prom." Jordan leans back, rubbing a hand over his stomach.
“Touchy subject.” Piper tosses her napkin on the table.
Why is prom touchy for her? Don’t all girls love prom? As I stare at the tense set to her shoulders, I remember the paper I knocked out of her hand the day I ran into her. It said prom. Was it her endgame all along to have Nash invite her to prom? If it was, then why didn’t she mention that to me?
“Aw, do you not have a date, Piper?” Jordan grins, shoving his plate away. “You know, I have mad skills on the dance floor.”
No, this isn't happening.
I slam my fist on the table, causing them both to jump. Jordan laughs, but Piper turns her wide eyes on me. “We should get out of here. I gotta head into the bakery and have to drop Piper off at my house to get her car.”
“I can drop her off.”
The thought of them together, alone in a car, makes me want to strangle him. “No need. Besides, she might want her car to make a quick escape once you start with your victory dance after every good hole.”
“Like I said. Mad dance skills.”
The waitress chooses that moment, thank God, to drop the check. I reach for the black holder before anyone else can, but the moment I flip it open, Piper snags it from me, her delicate fingers brushing against mine and sending a jolt through my gut.
“Let me get it. It’s the least I can do since you showed me this hidden gem.”
“No.” I wrap my fingers around the leather, careful not to touch her again, but she smacks me.
“Seriously. I want to pay for you guys. Today was a lot more fun than going to school.”
“Well, isn’t this cute?” Jordan reclines, laying his arm across the back of the booth, not even attempting to pay. “Why don’t you let your girl get this and you can pay for mini golf?”
Both of us stop struggling for the bill and whip our heads in his direction. I don’t know if it’s him calling her my girl or how he implied I’ll be playing mini golf. I wasn’t lying. I have to be at the bakery to finish out the day.
“I-I thought you had to work?” She side-eyes me, but I keep my glare on Jordan.
“I do.”
“Oh.” Jordan waves his hand in the air. “Did I forget to mention I texted your mom and told her I needed help studying for a big test? Whoops.”
“When did you do that?” I grind out through clenched teeth.
“The second I saw you two all cozy in your truck.”
Piper lets the leather holder fall to the table. “I didn’t…we weren’t—”
“I have eyes, Red.” He takes a long drink of his water before standing. “Have fun you two.” With a wink, he saunters to the front door.
Piper and I sit in silence, avoiding eye contact. Jordan is the biggest idiot on the planet. He has eyes all right, but he’s not seeing the truth right under his nose. Piper wants Nash, not me.
“We don’t have to go play,” she says to her lap. “I’m sure there are a hundred other people you would rather hang out with on a free afternoon.”
There’s no one else I want to spend a free afternoon with.
And I shouldn’t feel this way.
Yet I can’t seem to stop myself.
“No. If I remember correctly, you used to get really competitive. I think that’s something I need to witness again firsthand before you spend any actual time with Nash. He can be quite the baby when he loses if you didn't notice at the paintball field.”
She giggles. “Noted.”
I stand, offering my hand. “Come on.”
“But you didn’t even eat. Don’t you wanna—”
“I’ll grab a snack there.”
“Fine.” She slides her hand into mine, her thumb brushing over the skin on my inner wrist and distracting me. “But I’m paying for this.” With a shove, she slips past me, jogging for the cash register, her laughter trailing back to me as I stand stock-still.
My heart hammers in my chest and I shake my head.
Why do I keep doing this to myself?
Why didn’t I tell him when I had the chance?
Now I’m in so deep I don’t even know what to do.
I could tell by the way Jordan was looking at us that he thinks we’re together.
Perfect.
He thinks we’re together. Carter thinks I want Nash. And I…I don’t know what I want.
This is just one colossal mess. Claire was right from the start. Now she won’t speak to me, and Blythe is all about revenge. I’ve dug such a deep hole the sky is no longer visible. And my stupid gut…ugh…it’s saying I should throw out the plan and go after Carter.
Talk about a train wreck of epic proportions.
Carter whoops from a few feet away as his ball sinks into the hole at the end of a ramp. “I’m no golf pro, but doesn’t that put me ahead?”
“Yeah. Yeah.” I wave him off, walking up and dropping my purple ball on the green mat. “Lucky shot.”
“And the three before?”
I sneer, taking position. “I haven’t played this since I was ten. I’m rusty.”
“You’re also standing like you’re preparing to take a hit.”
“What?” I laugh, glancing down. Okay, so maybe I’m standing a little wide.
“Here.” Carter comes up from behind and nudges one of my ankles with his foot. “Put your feet a little closer together and bend at the waist. It will help you swing through.”
I do as he says, sucking in a sharp breath when my butt bumps into him. I swear I can hear all his muscles tense up. “Like…like this?” Why does my voice sound all breathy all of a sudden?
“Yeah, but grip a little lower on the handle.” His chest presses into my back as one of his hands circles mine and slides them lower on the metal.
I’m surprised the dang thing doesn’t slip out of my hands with how sweaty my palms are. If there weren’t a bunch of kids running around screaming, he would hear my heart trying to beat a hole through my chest.
Carter swallows hard, his breath ruffling the hair by my ear. “Don’t lift too high or you’ll send the ball over the rail again.”
I laugh, remembering the look of horror on Carter’s face when I almost nailed that dad a few holes over. “We don’t want that.”
“No. This is a noncontact game.”
I reach up with the hand he isn’t holding on the putter and brush my hair over my shoulder. The way his breath keeps hitting it is driving me insane, making me think crazy thoughts. Ones that revolve around my lips on his. Though now I realize the bare neck might not be any better when a shiver runs down my spine.
Carter sighs, but it almost sounds like a growl, rumbling through his chest into my body. His fingers tighten on mine as he takes a step forward, erasing any space between us. “Use the perfect amount of force. I
t’s all in the hips.”
I chuckle, remembering that old Adam Sandler movie we watched so long ago. “Still taking advice from movies?”
“Everything is awesome,” he breathes, his warm lips touching the edge of my ear and making me forget my name for a solid two seconds.
I turn to say something sarcastic to break this strange tension, but my words die a sudden death when I realize how close our faces are. Mere inches are all that separate us. If I leaned forward just a hair, we’d be kissing just like I’ve been dreaming about doing since Saturday night.
Carter’s gaze drops to my mouth, then flashes back to my eyes. Something tells me he’s thinking the same thing. His tongue flicks out, wetting his lips, and I can’t fight the urge anymore. Who cares if I end up regretting this?
I tilt my head until I’m resting on his chest and close my eyes. The warmth of his breath fans against my lips and right when I think he’s about to close the tiny gap, someone clears their throat.
“Can you suck face later?”
Carter lets go, jumping back, and I whip around to see two boys staring in utter disgust. Carter runs a hand through his hair, focusing on the ground.
Well…this is awkward now.
“Yeah. Sorry.” I smack the ball, sending it over the ramp and into the water.
Whatever. I’ll go grab another one or jump in the water and hope I drown so I don’t have to see the look of regret on Carter’s face. I can’t take that. Again.
“Guess you’re not the best teacher in the world.” I brush past him, headed for the doors that lead inside instead of to the next hole.
“You don’t want to play anymore?” he asks.
“No. I might end up giving someone a concussion. Besides, I should head home. A crap ton of homework, remember?” I set the putter on the return window where a kid about my age takes it with a smile.
“Sure. Yeah. I can take you to get your car.” An undertone of anger laces his voice, which I’m sure has a hell of a lot to do with our second almost kiss.
At this point, I wish we'd just got it out of the way so we could move on. He doesn’t want me, but we keep finding ourselves in the same position. Maybe he’ll kiss like a slobbering dog, and it will put me off. Or I’ll use too much teeth and he’ll never want his face anywhere near mine again. Still, I end the night while he looks I kicked an animal or something.
“Thanks for this not-date. Tops any date I’ve ever been on, well, because I’ve never actually been on one.”
He stops, eyes wide as he holds the door open. “Wait. Didn’t you have a boyfriend for a long time?”
“Yup. And all we ever did was hang out in groups or study or watch a movie with his little brother hanging around. That’s why I was looking forward to prom, but that’s dead now, so…”
I bite down on my lower lip to stop talking. Why am I spilling my guts? Carter doesn’t care about my sad dating life or the fact that prom would have been the highlight of my relationship with John.
“Okay. So, let me make sure I’m hearing right. John, your boyfriend of forever, never took you on a date. Ever?”
“Sophomore year we did charity work at the animal shelter. Does that count?”
“No!” Carter stops in front of his truck and grabs the back of his neck. “How do you…I mean, you can’t date Nash if you’ve never been on a real date. Being with him is no way to learn.” She’ll be a sitting duck for whatever he tries to pull.
His words should sting, but they don’t. Not anymore. Now I know Carter doesn’t mean it maliciously. “Okay, fine. I won’t date Nash.” I reach for the handle, but Carter blocks me.
“What do you mean?”
Well, if there’s ever a time to tell him, now would be it. “I just…it was a stupid idea to begin with. Nash and me? Come on. Besides, all this was—”
“Nash would be lucky to date you.” He braces his hands on both of my shoulders, giving me a gentle shake. “He’s an idiot if he doesn’t see that.”
Ugh. Why does he have to be all sweet and supportive? Can’t he be more like Claire and tell me I’m stupid? It would make all this so much easier. Because I’m on the verge of screaming that I never wanted his friend. Not once in all this time, but damn the softness in his eyes…the way he cups my cheek and forces me to look at him is killing me.
“I know you said you wanted to call off this plan, but I think you put in too much effort to back out now.”
“What if I don’t want Nash anymore?” The words fly out before thinking them through. His closeness is doing something to my brain, fogging it up and breaking that little filter that’s supposed to keep you from saying dumb stuff.
“What?” The word is spoken with a rush of air, almost as if he might choke if he doesn’t get it out.
“I don’t want Nash.”
“What are you saying?”
What am I saying? It sure as hell isn’t me telling him the truth. Okay, it’s a partial truth. Maybe it’s what I’ve been trying not think about for the past couple weeks.
That I want Carter.
“What if I want someone else?”
His fingers clench my cheek, dragging me a little closer. “If you say Jordan I’m gonna punch a hole in my window.”
“Not Jordan.”
“Is it your ex…do you want him back?”
I swallow even though it makes my throat cramp. “Never in a million years.”
“Then who?”
I take a step closer, resting my palms on his chest. His muscles tense under my touch, much like they do every single time lately. I hope that’s a good sign I’m not about to make a fool out of myself. “You’re a smart guy. I think you can figure it out.”
“Piper. If this is because you don’t think Nash likes you, then I have to tell you he does. He’s mentioned you several times. He even hinted that he would love to take you to prom. I didn’t tell you and I don’t really know why but—”
“Just kiss me already.”
There. I said it and I meant it. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life. I’ve never wanted anyone more in my life.
He blinks at my words—a slow, dragged-out movement before a smile lights his entire face. His fingers slip into my hair, knocking strands loose as he pulls me forward. I grab handfuls of his cotton shirt just so I have something to hold on to in case my knees give out. And they might, judging from the fire in his eyes.
His nose brushes against mine, and fireworks erupt in my stomach. Anticipation. Excitement. It all bundles together in a swirling rush of adrenaline. He pauses, waiting for me, I think. I pause, too, breathing hard even though nothing has happened yet, and then I let go. Pushing up onto my tippy-toes, I press my mouth to his.
Carter remains still. A statue beneath me. For one agonizing moment I’m scared he might have changed his mind, but then he lets out this low, sexy growl that I feel throughout my entire body, and drags me closer, parting my lips with a quick flick of his tongue.
I’m done.
Lost.
Forever wrecked for any other guy.
This kiss is…everything. Everything I’ve ever read about. Everything I ever wanted. John who? Michael from summer camp who was my first sloppy kiss…wiped away. There is only Carter and the way he holds me, as if he doesn’t want to squeeze too tight in case I might disappear. The way his lips fit with mine perfectly. The feeling of never wanting to let go—to be swept up in this wave of passion forever, even if it ruins me.
And it will.
It has to.
The brightest stars burn out the fastest, and this…it will die a fiery death because I still haven’t told him the truth.
Carter breaks away from my lips, trailing wet kisses over my jaw as I pant, trying to realign my thoughts. To gather some sensibility.
“I’ve thought about this more times than I want to admit.” His full lips brush against mine once more, teasing me. “Even when I was certain I couldn’t have you. I even considered sabotaging you and Nash be
cause I’m a jealous asshole.”
I freeze in his arms. Nash will always be between us until I tell him. But if I tell him then this…whatever it is will fall apart right here in this dimly lit parking lot.
God, why didn’t I go with the truth from the get-go?
I clear my throat as he plants a kiss on my collarbone. “Carter—”
“Come on.” He pulls back, linking his hand in mine. “I’m taking you on a proper date. You deserve so much more than that idiot John ever gave you.”
“Wait.” I tug, pulling him to a stop.
When he turns around, the smile drops right off his face. “Are you okay? Am I rushing this…am I pressuring you?”
“No.” I shake my head so hard I see black spots in my vision. I can’t believe those thoughts entered his head. “That was amazing. You’re amazing. I just need to tell you that the Nash thing—”
He cups my face, planting a quick kiss on my lips. “Can we not talk about Nash? Just for tonight. He’s all we’ve talked about for weeks and I…I just want tonight here with you. Just us.” His soft, pleading eyes search my face. “Is that okay?”
“Yes,” I say, even though I should say no. The longer I wait, the worse this will be.
But I guess one more night won’t make a difference at this point.
I pull up outside a frozen yogurt shop down the street. When I turn off the car, Piper tilts her head in question.
“You never got to eat those monstrosities. You've got twisted taste buds by the way.”
She laughs, leaning forward to peer out the windshield at the building. “Too bad those went to waste. They were masterpieces.”
“Who said they were wasted?”
Her eyes widen. “You ate them?”
“Tried to eat them,” I correct.
“So, we’re here to what, make amends to your wronged tastebuds with more awesome concoctions?”
“No.” I prop the door open, swiping my phone out of the cupholder. Dad called several times, but I won’t let him ruin tonight. “We’re here to make something even more disgusting and eat it together. Figured if I suffered, then you need to as well. And we’re going to do this while covering all the standard first date questions.”