by Scott Toney
meal, he thought, I can at least do that.
The wind seemed to calm some as he moved. This is for you, Caroline. He took a deep breath as he approached.
22
Caroline could feel warmth in the darkness. She had been here for so long. How long had it been? Where was she?
It was as if she floated in a river, carried by some unknown current. And yet it seemed like she did not move at all. There were consistencies around her, like the faint light she would see opening in the darkness and familiar voices that would sometimes seem to speak through her mind.
A pinpoint of light returned to the darkness, widening and somehow blinding her vision, even as darkness still consumed most of her sight. She still could not see her body, or any other form.
Then something happened, something she did not expect. A voice broke into the world around her. It wasn’t like the other voices. She didn’t recognize it. It seemed to actually ‘be’ a part of what encompassed her.
I am here, my child. Do not be afraid, the voice spoke.
What has happened to me? she asked in her mind. Who am I? Where am I?
It is not time for you to know. Be strong. There is a reason for everything. I am always by your side.
I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be here, she said. Should I join the light with you?
Your time is not now. Wait. I will stay with you. The time will come.
The light was consumed by the darkness once more, but somehow she still felt the entity by her. When? she asked.
There was no response.
Darkness.
Time passed.
She felt alone and uncertain.
Then a voice broke through the nothing, a voice she recognized from some place before this.
They still haven’t found Suzie or your mother, the voice said. Somehow, she felt like it loved her. I had feelings for your mother once, before the divorce. We’ve had our troubles for some time now, but I would never wish this on her. There was a moment’s hesitation in the voice. You probably can’t even hear me… I still love her.
She did hear the voice, though. She wanted to shout to it, to tell it she was there, but she couldn’t make the connection to it. Who was it? How did she know the voice?
Father, the word came to her. It was her father. He was here by her side, wherever she was.
She didn’t hear the voice again after his last words, but she felt like she was given a gift. She was beginning to remember who she was.
23
“…and seeing what we’re seeing from them already this season, I think the Steelers have a chance to…”
Ben slammed his hand against the clock to shut off the radio alarm. “Ugh.” He rolled over in bed as sunlight streamed through the thin motel curtains and into his face. It took a minute to register where he was.
He braced his hands on the hard mattress and forced himself to sit up. A cramp ran through his back. He discovered this rundown motel in a suburb of Pittsburgh called Robinson. The area was nice and the motel was in his price range, but he hoped he wouldn’t need to stay here again tonight. Somehow, though, he was sure he’d be back.
After a shower and some freshening up, he loaded his luggage back in the Jeep. He asked the desk manager where the closest library was, happy to get the Jeep down the road.
In the Robinson library, Ben found what he was looking for, a computer and free access to the Internet. Once the system was up, he quickly pulled up Google and began hammering at the keys.
He typed Francis Lilly’s name into the search engine and pressing enter. A list of people with that name and their various websites and affiliations instantly displayed. To Ben’s delight, a lawyer named Francis Lilly was first on the list. Law practices tend to rank high in Google searches, and Ben was thankful for that. He was listed as a practicing Lawyer for Burns White, LLC.
After plugging in the address to Map Quest, he had easy directions there. All it took was an ok from the librarian to print them out and he was on his way.
Burns White ended up being located near Pittsburgh’s baseball stadium, PNC Park, and the stadium’s parking lot ended up being a good place for Ben to leave his car.
Ben’s palms sweat as he approached Burns White’s brick exterior. It was an older building, not too tall, but not small either. After entering the main doors, he was struck by the structure’s beauty. It had an old-fashioned feel that just felt good to take in. A security guard sat at the desk by the elevators. Ben hoped he could get in, or at least get Francis’s attention somehow.
The large guard eyed him from behind the desk. “Excuse me, sir. What can I do for you?”
Ben took his chance. “I’m here to see Francis Lilly. I don’t have an appointment, but it’s important.”
The guard lifted his phone. “Let me call up and see what he says. What’s your name again, sir? And what are you here to see him about?”
Ben swallowed. He didn’t think being honest would get him very far, but what else could he do? “I’m Benjamin Towne, and I’m a friend of his daughter’s who needs to talk to him.”
The guard gave him a good look over. “I’ll call,” the man said hesitantly, “but I’m not sure I’ll get through.” He dialed an extension number and, after a few seconds, hung up the phone. “There’s no answer. Why don’t you write down a message and I’ll give it to him when he leaves? Here, you can use this pad of paper.”
Ben took the pad and went to a chair and table in the lobby. There would be no point in writing anything down. If Caroline’s father wasn’t returning his phone calls, he sure wasn’t going to do anything with a note.
Fear coursed through him. This is my last chance, isn’t it? How else can I get hold of him if I can’t get to him here? He closed his eyes and allowed tears to flow down his face. I’ll find a way, today, or tomorrow, or the next day. He took a breath, turning to God. Help me. Help me to see him. Please.
There was commotion down the hall as the doors leading to the street opened and a man with a black and yellow polo entered the lobby. Ben barely saw him out the corner of his eye, making eye contact for a moment before looking away. When he heard the doors open he hoped it was Francis. This man was not him.
The sound of the man’s footsteps on the floor traveled past him, and then stopped and came back his direction.
“Are you alright?” the man’s caring voice asked.
Ben looked up. The man was balding and had a close-trimmed mustache and beard. Most people didn’t want to know the real answer when they asked you how you were, but he seemed to genuinely care. “No. It’s a long story.” Ben didn’t know what to say. There was too much to even begin sharing with him, even if he wanted to. But if this man worked here, this was his opportunity. He had to do something.
“I’m Mark.” The man smiled as he held out his hand.
He took it. “Ben.” He wiped the tears from his face. “Thank you for caring.”
“Is there anything I can do, Ben?”
He took a deep breath. “Do you know Francis Lilly?” He could see from Mark’s eyes that he did. “I’m a friend of his daughter’s, and I’ve been trying to reach him for days, but he won’t answer or return my calls. It’s really important that I talk to him.”
“I heard about what happened. I’m sorry.” Mark placed his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll let him know you’re down here and tell him how important it is to you to see him. Are you the one who found her?”
Ben was puzzled. How would he know that? “Yes.”
“Francis told me about that. You sound like a good man. I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thank you!” Ben called to him as Mark got into the elevator and the doors closed him off from view.
The security guard eyed him suspiciously as he waited in the lobby.
He watched the hands of the clock above the guard ticking away time as he rigidly sat on the lobby’s couch.
Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes passed as the o
ccasional person entered the lobby and headed into the elevator, either that or his hopes rose when seeing the elevator doors open, then fell while watching someone other than Mr. Lilly walk out.
He took his phone out, about to actually try and call her father again when…
“Benjamin?” the voice came from behind him.
Ben was startled as he heard his name. There, behind him, was Francis Lilly. Relief washed through his body, just knowing he’d have the opportunity to speak with him. “I thought you’d come from the elevator.”
“I took the stairs.” It was the first genuine smile he’d seen from Mr. Lilly since they’d met.
“Thank you so much for coming to see me.”
“It’s no problem. I’m sorry I haven’t returned your calls. Things have been hectic around here. Life has been hectic. I’m sure you understand.”
Ben didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t honestly expected Francis to come see him. “I’m here to see Caroline, to see how she’s doing. The hospital wouldn’t let me see her, though, because I’m not family.”
“Let’s go for a walk,” Francis said, and then let him out of the lobby and on to the sidewalk. A taxi sped by and a horn blared from blocks down the road. “I thought you might be here. Last night I visited Caroline and the receptionist told me a young man had been asking to see her.”
“How is she?” It was all he wanted to know immediately, that she was alright, or at least that she was the same as he had last seen her.
“The doctors say she’s steady. Her heart is normal. Her brain functions are where they should be. But there is