by Scott Toney
to the ocean?
She started to make out a figure in the haze of her eyesight. It was undefined at first, and then she remembered. Ben? she thought. She remembered him, and knew she had feelings for him.
“She’s awake!” he called out. “Somebody, she’s awake!”
As Ben’s hand left hers and he moved from her blurred vision, an uneasy dread pulsed through her. Where am I? How did I get here? What is wrong with me? She heard footsteps coming closer, and then felt hands on her.
A nurse came close as her vision became clearer and she was able to make out a hospital room. “Can you hear me?” the nurse asked.
Caroline hesitated, trying to form the word. “Yes.”
“Good. Do you know your name?”
Things were coming back to her now, movements and reflexes. “Caroline.”
The nurse smiled at her. “And what is your last name?”
“Lilly.”
“Caroline, you’ve been in a coma.” The nurse checked an I.V. that was stuck in her vein. “You’re in Pittsburgh, in UPMC hospital. Everything will be alright.”
“Caroline.” Ben approached her. He was crying and wiped tears from his eyes. “I was so worried for you. Your father is so worried for you.”
She couldn’t handle it, couldn’t handle the shock of being in the ocean, beaten by the waves one moment, and then the next moment waking up in a hospital bed. “Mom?” she asked, realizing that he hadn’t mentioned that her mother was worried for her.
Ben hesitated.
She held his eyes so that he could not look away.
“They haven’t found her yet,” he said hesitantly.
The nurse who had spoken to her shot him a look. “Leave the room,” the nurse instructed him.
He took a step toward Caroline. “But…”
“Leave. This is too much for her to handle right now. She will need time to think, to understand, to rest.”
Ben came to Caroline and kissed her forehead. “I’ll be out in the hall until I can come back in. I love you.”
That night was a haze to her. Ben came in after the nurses worked with her for a while. She was having trouble enunciating, but asked him questions about the night of the storm and about her coma. She realized he had given a lot to be here with her. The depth of his feelings was hard to understand, but she realized the reason he seemed to feel so strongly for her was because he had so much time here with her, while she only had memories of him from a few weeks.
Soon her father joined them. He didn’t cry, but as he sat beside her, his strong hand holding hers was somehow just what she needed. Her father’s love wasn’t always in his words or his emotions, but rather in his strength and persistence.
The hardest thing was knowing that Suzie was dead. Caroline had seen her body, and there was no way she had managed to stay alive. Somehow, though, she knew her mother survived. But where was she? She would find her, one way or another, once she was well. Odds were likely that her mom was also washed ashore in a coma, and that they just weren’t able to identify her yet.
-- --
In the weeks to come Caroline overcame much. She had been nourished through a feeding tube while in the coma, but now as she began eating food she realized her senses of taste and smell were no longer as strong. And she was full after only a few bites of food.
At first nurses would carry her to the bathroom because of how weak her body was. She lost weight while in the coma. Luckily, with therapy, she regained her ability to walk, a little after a week’s time. A speech therapist helped her learn how to enunciate and brought puzzles for her to work with to be sure that her mind was comprehending as it should be.
She craved mobility, the freedom to move how she wanted and to escape the confines of the hospital. During the day, she would sit and look out the window, watching people walking the sidewalk and trucks and cars going down the road. It fascinated her to watch everything beyond the window, because that was where she could not be yet.
She yearned for sunlight on her skin, for the wind to tousle her hair, for normal reality awaiting her beyond hospital walls. Her only release from the hospital, so far, was her time with Ben. They talked, played card games, and often times he would stay with her at night, just watching whatever was on TV and being by her side.
Do I love him? she thought one night while holding his hand and watching a music competition called The Voice on television. She squeezed his hand, giving him a wink as he looked to her. “Thank you,” she said. “You know you’re stuck with me now, don’t you. You can’t just stay by a girl’s side the whole time she’s in a coma and think you’ll ever get away.”
Ben made a panicked look to the door. “Oh man! And I was already packing my bags!” He leaned in and gave her a kiss. “I think you know you’ve got me for as long as you’ll have me.”
Knock! Knock!
They turned to see Caroline’s main nurse, Sandra, through the window of the room’s door.
“Come on in!” Caroline called to her.
Sandra had a huge grin as she entered. “You’ve been cleared for release tomorrow, my dear. You’ll be missed, but I’m happy for you. You’d better not be a stranger!”
Caroline’s heart was racing and she felt relief sweep through her. She braced her hands on the side of her bed and stood to give Sandra a hug. “Thank you, for everything, for watching over me and for your friendship. I can’t tell you how much it means.”
“It’s my job and my pleasure,” Sandra said as she released their embrace. “And I know you’ll be in good hands with your boyfriend and your father.” she winked to them. “He is your boyfriend, right?”
It was funny, Caroline’s heart was fluttering as Sandra said that. We haven’t even used that term before, she thought. “I don’t know. Are you my boyfriend, or are you just a hunk that’s been following me around?” She grinned at Ben.
“I’ll gladly take that title on.” He blushed, and she knew how strongly he felt for her by the look in his eyes.
Sandra moved back toward the door. “Then I know you’re in good hands. Of course you’ll need to go to rehab, every day at first, and then less and less over time. I’ll see you in the morning to check up on you one last time before you’re released.”
As Sandra left the room, Caroline leaned back and felt Ben’s strong hand find its way to hers.
“Are you excited?” Ben asked.
“Yes.” She enjoyed the warmth of his hand against hers. There are so many uncertainties, she thought. But if I can get through this, I can get through anything.
-- --
Caroline stood at the edge of the hospital doors the next day. Her crutches were braced under her arms and Ben stood to her side while her father pulled Ben’s Jeep into the hospital’s main drive. She saw the Jeep and took her first step out of the hospital and into sunlight. The warmth of the sun’s rays blanketed her, releasing her from the hospital’s cold chill.
30
October 26, 2012
Ben held Caroline’s hand as he drove through the main streets of Pittsburgh towards the rehab center.
Caroline made quick progress building strength back in her legs, and the center’s specialists were optimistic that this would be her last session with them. That meant that both of them would soon be free to physically search for Suzie and Eva. Whether they were dead or alive, neither Ben nor Caroline would be able to put things to rest until they knew for certain. They had made multiple calls to hospitals along the coast, but so far had discovered no news of an unidentifiable woman or women being cared for.
Wind whipped through the Jeep as Ben parked the vehicle in front of a one-story brick building. “It’s the last day.” He gave her a smile.
“Thank goodness!” Caroline unbuckled her seatbelt and Ben turned off the ignition.
He met her outside the Jeep and took her arm. She didn’t need his support anymore, but he still liked escorting her in.
After Caroline left for her rehab session he returned t
o the Jeep and turned on the radio to kill time until she was done.
Rock music blared out his speakers as he leaned back in the seat. Never a shortage of good Rock in this city, he thought, thinking about the fact that back home there really weren’t any great Rock stations. The radio was tuned in to 105.9 THE X.
He started to daydream as he stared out the window to the clouds rolling through the sky above.
Then, as the song ended, a radio broadcaster that wasn’t normally on the station came over the line. “We disrupt our regularly scheduled programming for this announcement. Storm system Hurricane Sandy is predicted to make landfall along the east coast of the U.S., and its effects could be felt as far west as West Virginia and Ohio. It should make landfall sometime on Monday, October 29, and Pennsylvania could be affected by high winds, heavy rain, snow and hail. Precautions should be taken, and those in low-lying areas should head for high ground. This storm should not be taken lightly. This station will keep you updated as Sandy nears. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.”
A local band called ‘The Clarks’ came on the station next. They were a good group, but Ben was already distracted. I wonder whether Mason’s heard, he thought as he took out his phone and dialed his father.
“Ben, how are you?”
“I’m good. Hey, have you heard what kind of damage the Outer Banks might take from Hurricane Sandy?”
“They’re saying it could be worse than Irene, and they still haven’t reconnected the road in Rodanthe from last year from that.”
There was silence for a moment. Ben’s nerves had his hands shaking. “You might want to think about going inland until this thing passes. I just heard on the radio that we’re expected to get winds and snow here because of it.”
“Wow, yeah, sounds like one nasty storm. Don’t worry, I’m already planning on staying with your aunt until Sandy is gone. Excelsis and I are taking the ferry to the mainland tomorrow. While I’ve got you on the phone I have to ask, are you and Caroline still planning to look for Suzie? If you are, and you need me, then just call. We can meet up somewhere when you get close. Or I can do anything else you need me to do as well. It’s so hard for me to believe that she’s still alive.”
“I know, but Caroline insists that she is. I have to have faith in that.” Ben looked to the car clock and realized Caroline would be out soon. “I’ve got to go, but be careful. Call me when you get to aunt Joy’s house.”
Moments later Caroline came out of the rehab center with a big smile on her face. There is such potential for darkness on the horizon, Ben thought. But the light and hope in her shines beyond that.
31
On October 29, 2012, Hurricane Sandy rammed the east coast of the U.S.
Ben and Caroline sat rapt in news feed as they watched newscasters report on the damage done to the Outer Banks. The eye of the storm hadn’t hit there, but Rodanthe, Avon and the rest of the Outer Banks took substantial blows. Ben shuddered while watching video of a house collapsing into the ocean, which someone took with their phone and sent to the major news outlets. That could have been The Seaman’s Watch, he thought. Thank goodness Mason and Excelsis are safe.
Yet that was the day before, and so far he hadn’t heard from Mason. He must have lost power and phone reception somehow, Ben hoped.
It was a little too surreal to witness this storm just over a year after Hurricane Irene, and to know that people’s lives all along the coast were in danger again.
Ben and Caroline had woken to bad winds and snow, but luckily that was most of the effect Sandy had on Pittsburgh.
Emergency evacuations for New Jersey and New York were called in. New York appeared to be in the storm’s direct path. All the subways and bus systems were shut down and the whole city was warned that it was best to leave.
It was worse than everyone had expected. Ben was horrified to learn that whole towns were now underwater and that the sea was swallowing up New Jersey’s Coney Island boardwalk and rollercoaster.
Footage from New York showed winds battering skyscrapers and barren streets below them. A crane on the top of a building had its arm broken by the wind and now leaned off the side of the building, prepped to fall to the streets below.
It was like something out of a movie. It’s horrible. What is happening to the people who stayed? Ben thought. He could imagine it. Knowing, was the horrible thing.
As he watched the horrific power of the storm he became engrossed in it. He was unable to pull himself away from the terror that unfolded. Then he heard Caroline crying behind him. She stood without him knowing and was headed for the front door of the house.
“Are you alright?” he asked, clicking off the TV with the remote and heading after her. “I’m sorry. We should have turned it off. There’s no point in watching it. We can’t do anything to stop it.”
“It’s just…”
She came to his arms and he held her strong in the embrace.
Caroline took a step away from him. “That’s not it. It just hurts, not knowing where my mom is, not knowing if I’ll ever see her again or if she’s in the path of that storm.”
She’s convinced Suzie’s alive, Ben held down his fears. What would happen if they never found Suzie, dead or alive?
Caroline walked away from him toward the front door. “I need to go outside. I need some air.” As she opened the door, snow blew in. She stood on the small porch on the front of the house, leaning against the rail without any jacket or coat on.
Ben joined her, leaving his coat inside as well. He enjoyed the coolness of the snow as it landed on his face and hands, melting on his skin. But the cold wind whipped through his clothes, chilling him to his core.
Caroline stood there looking at him for a long moment. “We don’t have to just stay here watching. People in New York and New Jersey will need help after Sandy is gone. We should go.”
Ben took her hand. “Living that destruction with them would hurt,” he said, thinking of Irene and knowing that going to help destroyed and wounded areas would churn up memories for them both.
“Look around us.” She held out her arms as snow curled over them. “It’s freezing out here, but it’s worth it to experience the snow. We can’t run away from pain. If anything, I’ve learned that, through all this madness in my world. But if we face the pain, we will get through it, to something more beautiful in life. The people on the coast will need help, and I can’t just do nothing. Will you come with me?”
Intelligent. Beautiful. Strong. Caring. He found himself adoring this woman he was in love with more and more. “I’ll be by your side, through every storm and for every rainbow beyond them. Once the hurricane has passed we can load up the Jeep and head toward the coast.”
“Thank you.” Caroline came to him and put her hands on his chest, kissing him fully.
He held her for a good while. The cold penetrated their bodies as they warmed each other with their embrace.
32
Snow-covered trees blurred as Ben drove his Jeep on a highway toward New Jersey. He feared what he would find in the wake of the storm and what would be needed of him. Caroline is right, he thought. Facing this may be hard, but we will be stronger people because of it. He hated to admit it, but Hurricane Irene brought him and Caroline closer somehow, pulling their hearts into an inseparable embrace. But to lose Eva and Suzie… Nothing can be worth that. “What should we do when we get to New Jersey?” he asked Caroline.
She sat beside him with a map open on her lap. “When we near the coast we can look for the police and ask where we are needed. We’ll do what we can do.” She looked to him, smiling. “I need to do this. I’ve been given so much, I need to give back to someone else.”
He took her hand and kissed it. “You amaze me. After all you’ve been through, you still have so much depth of love in your soul.”
While driving, Ben began to think of the beauty of what God did by returning Caroline from her coma. He prayed so much for her to heal, an
d yet after she returned to him he prayed less and less. Thank you, he thought, speaking to God through his thoughts. Please watch over and protect us in the days to come. Help me to be the best man that I can be. Help us to learn what happened to Suzie and Eva, no matter how hard that truth will be to know. Help that closure to come.
His phone vibrated suddenly in his pocket and he worked for a moment to take it out. Seeing it was Mason, he punched the answer button and held it to his ear. He hadn’t heard from his father since the storm. “Hello?”
“Ben, we need to talk. Is Caroline there?”
“Yes, but how are you? Is everything alright? We’re heading to New Jersey to see if we can help storm victims there.”
“This is important. Can you put me on speaker?” Mason almost interrupted Ben’s words.
“Sure.” Ben punched the speaker button, careful to also keep focused on the road.
“I was down in your Aunt Joy’s basement last night and as I was packing up old newspapers to trash I found one with a picture of a woman who was discovered randomly walking around the town. The article says she doesn’t remember who she is. They were looking for anyone who might know her. Ben, this is Eva. She looks a little different, but it’s her. I’ve called the newspaper and they’re looking into where she is now. I can’t believe she’s alive.”
Speechless, Ben pulled the Jeep off the road.
Caroline cried, holding her head in her hands and shaking while bracing against the side of the door. She began calming her nerves and looked up. “We need to go there.” Her hands shook violently. “I knew she was alive. I knew it.”
Ben’s mind was running fast, figuring out the best route to North Carolina. He pressed his foot to the gas, pulling back on the highway. “We’re coming there,” he told Mason. “I’ll call when we’re close.”
“I love you, son,” Mason said before getting off the phone.
“I love you too, dad.” Ben reached his hand over and held Caroline’s with a strong, loving embrace.
“We’re coming, mom,” Caroline said. “I’m coming for you.”