“What about her?”
I swallow hard and it hurts my throat. “She had a baby.”
“Really?” My mother leans forward. “How old is she?”
“Nineteen.”
“She’s so young!” She puts her hand to her mouth.
“Yeah. She is.” I take a breath. “And there’s more to the story.”
“What?” My mother studies my face.
“She came to the marina the other day, after I hadn’t heard from her in almost a year, and told me that the baby belongs to me.”
My mother’s eyes shoot open and she stands up. “What?”
“I’m the father.”
“Danny, no!” She gasps and walks toward the window.
I stand up too and follow her. The moon is high over the water. “I had no idea. She kept the pregnancy to herself. She didn’t even tell her own father.”
“Why would anyone do that?” My mother crosses her arms.
“I don’t know. She said she was messed up.”
“Why is she telling you now, then? Does she want something from you?”
“Actually, it’s just the opposite. She figured after she told me, I’d want nothing to do with the baby.”
She looks at me. “Do you?”
“How can I not? She’s my kid.”
My mother swallows. “It’s a girl?”
I nod. “Her name is Carolyn. She’s cute, too.”
My mother paces around the room. “I can’t believe this, Danny. You just got into LIU. That scholarship! Please tell me you aren’t going to drop out!”
“I’m not, Ma. Laurel didn’t even drop out of her own college. She’s got a whole plan. Live at her grandparents’ house in Upstate, enroll the baby in daycare, keep taking classes.”
“Well, that’s good, right?”
“It is for her. But Colman College is a seven-hour drive from here. When do I get to be with the baby?”
She stops pacing and puts her hands on her hips. “So just to be clear, a girl you haven’t spoken to in a year tells you that she’s had your baby without letting you know she was pregnant. And you’re upset that you won’t get to spend time with the baby?”
I shrug. “I guess.”
My mother grabs my face with both hands. “Most men would be reacting an entirely different way.”
I reclaim my head. “I’m not in high school, Mom. I’m twenty-two years old.”
“I know that. Still, most men wouldn’t be able to see around their anger.”
“I was angry at first. But…”
“But what?”
“Well, Carolyn…she looks like me. There’s no denying she’s mine.”
My mom sits on the couch and I sit next to her.
“The problem is Laurel wasn’t expecting me to want to be involved, so she didn’t factor that into her plan.”
“It sounds like you two are going to need to work out some sort of arrangement with you both in school.”
“I agree. Especially since her father, a big-time New York City lawyer, was quick to draw up a document freeing me from any custodial responsibility.”
She squints her eyes. “He did?”
“Yes.”
“We can talk to Steve. He’ll know what to do.”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
“He’s going to be doing a lot for this family in the upcoming weeks.”
I glance at my mom. “Is he going to help Dad?”
She rests her head back on the sofa. “Who else can we afford?”
Chapter 9
After a brief phone call, my mom and I cross the circular driveway to Steve and Janie’s mansion. Janie answers the door, in yoga pants and full makeup, her fake blonde hair professionally coifed. There are toys all over the living room floor that we step over to reach their monstrous gourmet kitchen three times the size of my apartment at least. She gestures for me to sit next to Steve in the adjacent breakfast room while she makes coffee in their built-in expresso machine and my mother picks up toys.
Steve is typing something into an iPad, so I sit silent until he places it aside.
“So.” He clasps his hands across his stomach. “What’s going on?”
I explain everything, even pulling out the custodial release document.
When he sees the envelope, he shakes his head. “Harris and Associates?”
“Have you heard of them?”
“Who hasn’t? Jason Harris. I’m assuming that’s this girl’s father?”
“He keeps a boat at the marina. It’s how I met Laurel a couple years back.”
“Well, he’s got a reputation for being a pretty ruthless guy. His firm has won some serious lawsuits in the city.”
“So what do you suggest I do?”
He takes a sip of the coffee Janie put in front of him. Steve is a burly guy with frizzy hair when it gets humid. He’s got a round face and a double chin. He’s not shy about his love for food or wine and it shows with the burgeoning belly over his belt.
“I think you should start by talking to Laurel again. Tell her you want to do this fairly and that you’d like to work out some kind of equitable arrangement that involves you both involved in the care of the infant.”
“And what if she says no?”
“Then we threaten to go to family court, though I would hope it wouldn’t come to that. But if it does, we play hardball because I know that is exactly what her father will do.”
Going up against Laurel and her father in family court just so I can spend time with Carolyn seems ridiculous. “I’ll talk to her again. Hopefully she’ll come around.”
It’s so late when we’re done talking I decide to crash at my mom’s place. I set the alarm on my phone for 6 a.m. and sleep comes quickly and deeply on her shabby couch.
My mother is in the kitchen, putting coffee into a filter when I wake up.
“You didn’t have to get up, Ma. But thanks.”
She sits at the table and I slide next to her, waiting to hear what is on her mind.
“I’m pretty confident things will be fine with this Laurel girl. I’m not so confident about the situation with your father.”
I nod.
“I just want you boys to be prepared. Your father has done some bad things. It could get ugly.”
It is a truth we all understand, but it jars me when it comes out of my mother’s mouth.
We drink our coffee in silence.
I take a rushed shower and rifle through a drawer to find a small stash of clothes I’ve left here and throw them on.
Returning to the kitchen, I see my mother is leafing through an old Dan’s weekly paper.
“You’re meeting her this morning?” she asks, not looking up.
“Yes. I’m going to her house before she leaves for New York.”
She frowns. “I was hoping I’d get to meet Carolyn.” She looks genuinely disappointed.
“Laurel said she’d be back in a couple weeks,” I offer.
“Asking a grandmother to wait a couple of weeks to meet her new grandchild is like asking a toddler to wait until after breakfast before opening presents on Christmas morning. Can’t you ask her to stay one more day?”
“I tried, Mom. She seems intent on getting back. But I’ll ask her again.”
“I think this Laurel is going to have to learn to be more flexible.”
***
The ferry line is so long, I decide to park my car in the lot and walk instead of bringing it to Shelter Island. Laurel’s house is close enough to the landing that I don’t need a car, and hopefully she can drop me at the marina before she takes off.
When I arrive at her front door, she’s dressed in shorts and a tank top and two suitcases are packed and ready. “Where’s your car?” she asks, looking out at the driveway.
Carolyn is in the car seat on the floor, a pacifier in her mouth. I move into the living room and sit on the floor next to her. “I left it in Greenport.”
“Oh.” Laurel walks ba
ck towards the bedrooms. She returns with more baby gadgets and a diaper bag.
“Listen, Laurel. I want to talk to you some more about this whole situation we’re in.”
She sits on the couch, the diaper bag on the floor in front of her, and starts adding more wipes and diapers to it. “Okay.”
I repeat verbatim what Steve told me to say. It comes out way too formal and awkward.
She looks up from packing, eyebrows raised. “Equitable arrangement? You sound like a lawyer.”
“Well, maybe I talked to a lawyer.”
“You talked to a lawyer?”
“Yes. Well, he’s my cousin, or my cousin’s husband at least.”
“Why’d you talk to a lawyer?”
I stand up. “Because I don’t think it’s fair of you to tell me I have a kid and that I can only see her when it’s convenient for you.”
“I didn’t say that, Danny. I just said I’m going back to school and I’m not going to be able to make trips to the East End of Long Island when I’m up there.”
“Well, maybe you’re going to have to be more flexible.” Now I sound like my mother.
“How can I be flexible when I’m almost four hundred miles away?” She stands and walks close to me, looking up at my face with the foot I have over her. “Why can’t you just be satisfied with what I’m offering you?”
“Now you sound like a lawyer.”
She pushes open the sliding door to the deck and goes out, sitting on an Adirondack chair. I follow her outside.
“Look, I’m not trying to give you a hard time here. But we’re going to have to work something out that we both can live with.”
She crosses her arms across her chest. “Why can’t you be like almost every other guy? I’m giving you a free pass from any responsibility and you won’t take it.”
“That’s not my style, Laurel.”
“It is so irritating.”
“Two days ago I didn’t even know I was a father. How fucked up is that? There’s this baby that’s mine out there in this world who is almost three months old and I have no idea about it. Then when I’m finally let in on the secret, I’m told I don’t need to be involved. Actually almost made to sign something saying I don’t want to be involved. Sorry to mess up your plans, but it’s not happening the way you imagined.”
“I see that.”
“And another thing.”
“What?”
“My mother wants to meet her granddaughter. This morning.”
“You told your mother?”
“Of course I told my mother. And I’m sure she’s already told my brother and his wife. They’ll probably all want to meet Carolyn, too. Plus my nephews will want to meet their baby cousin.”
Laurel stands up. “I’m not ready to do this, Danny.”
“To do what?”
“To…share her.” Laurel’s voice is barely a whisper. Her face bleak.
I stand too and grab her arm. “You’ve kept her a secret for so long, it’s hard to let go. I get it. But you’re going to have to learn to. You can let some people in.”
She rubs her forehead and closes her eyes. “Where does your mother live?”
Chapter 10
We climb into Laurel’s SUV once it is packed up and I call Carl to tell him I’m coming in late. The fishing charter he’s booked isn’t until 3 p.m., so he doesn’t mind.
The sun is sizzling. It’s going to be a scorcher today. There’s a long line at the ferry on this end, too. People are leaving the island to go back to work.
Laurel pulls a bottle out of a cooler and shakes it. “Want to sit in the back and see if she’ll take it?”
I jump into the backseat just before we’re waved onto the boat, offering the bottle to Carolyn, and once again, coming from me, she drinks the whole thing before we’ve even reached the other side of the bay. I shake the empty bottle at Laurel. “See, you need me.”
She cracks a smile for the first time in two days.
When we’re gestured off the ferry, Laurel asks, “Alright, where am I going?”
“Left on Front Street and take 25 all the way through Southold.”
I stay in the backseat, Carolyn’s hand clutching my pinky.
When we arrive at the stone stanchions that mark Steve and Janie’s driveway, I say, “Pull in here.”
“This is where your mom lives?” Laurel asks, her mouth gaping as we pull up to the house. “It’s huge!”
“Park by the garage,” I say.
We unload Carolyn and a diaper bag and Laurel starts walking towards the house. “Not there, Laurel.” I point to the second floor of the garage. “My mom lives up here.”
Laurel nods and follows me up the stairs.
I don’t have to knock because the door flies open before we’ve even crested the top. My mother rushes out to the landing. She’s showered, wearing makeup and one of her nicer sundresses. I continue walking past her, holding Carolyn in the car seat, so that Laurel can make it all the way up the stairs.
When all four of us are inside, I say, “Mom, this is Laurel. And this is Carolyn.”
My mother gives Laurel a good long look, clearly checking her out from head to toe, then turns her attention to the baby.
“Oh, look at her! She’s beautiful!”
I can tell Laurel is just as curious about my mother as my mother is about her. I wonder what she thinks about the fact Mom lives over a garage. I’m sure it’s not adding anything to my attractiveness as the father of her child.
I put the car seat down on the floor and my mother bends down on one knee to get a closer look. “Can I hold her?” she asks Laurel.
Laurel breaks her silent concentration. “Of course.” She bends over and begins unbuckling Carolyn, then releases her from the car seat.
My mom stands and Laurel hands her the baby. After a few minutes of no one saying anything, my mother smiles. “What a beautiful child you two created.”
Laurel meets my eyes, but she’s quick to look away.
“Do you want a cup of coffee or anything?” I ask her.
“Oh yes. Where are my manners? I just made a fresh pot, Danny. Please help yourselves.”
Laurel follows me into the galley kitchen, leaving my mother a chance to meet her granddaughter.
“How come I’ve never met your mom before now?” she asks once I’ve poured coffee into three mugs.
“I don’t know.” It is kind of strange considering how much time we’ve spent together. I shrug. “My cousin Janie, who lives in the house, keeps her busy in the summer. She takes care of their kids.”
“It’s just weird that I’m only meeting her now, presenting her with her grandchild. She must think so poorly of me.”
“I’m sure she doesn’t. I’ve talked about you. A lot.”
“You’ve talked about me to your mom? Are you really a twenty-two-year-old American male?” she quips.
“What do you mean?”
“What guy talks about a girl with his mom?”
I laugh. “I don’t know, but I do. We’re close.”
“Well, I hope you’ve said some nice things about me. Might help to sugarcoat what I’ve done to you.”
I grab Laurel’s hand and pull her into the living room.
My mother is holding Carolyn, standing near the mantel and pointing at pictures. “That’s your cousin Ryan. And there is your cousin Johnnie. And that’s Casey. He loves baseball.”
“Mom. She doesn’t understand what you’re saying.”
“She will eventually. You’ve got to talk to them when they’re this small. It helps with their language development.” She shifts the baby in her arms. “Do you still swaddle her, Laurel?”
“I try, but she kicks off the blankets all the time. She’s big into kicking.” Laurel sits on the edge of a chair.
My mom nods. “She’s small, but she is sturdy. I think she might need a diaper change.” She walks over to me. “Here, Danny.”
“I can do it.” Laurel jumps up.
“No, let Dan. He needs the practice.”
“For your information, I’ve already changed her once.”
“Once? Oh, well, that’s a good start, honey. Keep going.” She hands the baby over to me and winks at Laurel. “Besides, I want a chance to chat with Laurel.”
I disappear into the bedroom, leaving the door open, straining to hear their conversation.
“Danny tells me you attend Colman College. That school has a wonderful reputation.”
“Both my parents went there.”
“Danny told me about your mother’s car accident.”
“He did?”
“Yes. He’s told me a lot about you over the years. I’m sorry I’ve never had the opportunity to meet you before today.”
“I’m sorry about the circumstances surrounding it. You must be angry with me for what I’ve done.”
“You know, compared to other things in my lifetime, this is small potatoes. I’m not angry with you. But you do realize now that you’ve told us, we are going to want to be a part of her life. She’s got a whole family to get to know. An aunt and uncle, first cousins, second cousins…”
I lean in closer to the door to hear Laurel’s response, but if something has come out of her mouth, it is inaudible. I pick Carolyn up and return to the living room. Neither my mother nor Laurel are looking at each other when I do.
When Laurel sees me, she reaches for the baby. “Danny, I really have to get going. It’s going to be a long drive into Manhattan. Carolyn only has so much patience for the car.”
My mother stands. “When will you be out again?”
“After my dad and his wife have their baby. They’re due soon.”
“So like two or three weeks from now?” my mom pushes.
“As long as Sheryl’s on time and feeling okay.”
“I’d just like to, you know, put something on my calendar.”
“I’ll let Danny know as soon as I have a date.” She starts fastening Carolyn into the car seat. “I promise.”
My mother nods, but there is a look of suspicion in her eyes.
I take the carrier from Laurel’s hands. “Come on, I’ll help you get her in the car.”
When Laurel drives off, my mother says, “That girl has some growing up to do.”
Yours and Mine (Freshman Forty #2) Page 4