Xavier read some more of the article, then threw the paper at me and stormed off.
“Xavier, wait.” Frantic, I followed him.
He stopped, spun around and glared at me. “Camille, if you know what’s best for you, you will get away from me.”
That look in his eyes was one I’d never seen before. This could really be the end for us. I hurried down the hall, wanting to speak in private with him.
I finally got him to stop on the side of the gym.
“This is all just publicity stuff, you know, to pump up the album.” I knew I was just rehashing what Taraji had said, even though I didn’t believe it myself. But I was desperate to say anything to get through to Xavier.
“Camille, I don’t care what it is. This looks really trashy!”
I was starting to get sick of defending myself. I’d told him how I felt.
“Why do you have a problem with what I’m trying to do?”
He gritted his teeth in frustration. “You just don’t get it, do you?”
I folded my arms across my chest. Now he was working my nerve, too. “Maybe you just can’t handle my fame.”
He stared at me, then busted out laughing. “Your fame? Are you serious?”
When I didn’t smile, he continued, “You know what, you and your fame, and your new boyfriend . . .” He held his hands up to calm himself down. “All y’all can have each other ’cuz I’m out.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means just what I said. I’m done. And this time I mean it.” He started walking off.
“I can’t believe you’re acting like this,” I said, following him. “You’re the one who pushed me to be in the talent show in the first place.”
He stopped and turned around. “If I had known winning would turn you into this diva, I wouldn’t have wasted my breath.”
“Oh, so now I’m a diva?”
He paused. “Naw, I take that back. You’re a wannabe diva. Holla at me when the old Camille comes back.” He looked me up and down with disgust. “That’s if she doesn’t get lost in the fame.”
With that, he stomped off, and this time I didn’t try and stop him.
18
Alexis
I felt like I was in the middle of World War Three. If I wasn’t surrounded by fighting and bickering at home, I had to deal with it at school. Now it had crossed over into the only place where I had any peace—my Good Girlz meetings.
Jasmine and Camille were going at it like crazy. Tyeesha had given up trying to referee, and both she and Angel were just staring as Jasmine and Camille went back and forth arguing.
“I don’t blame him for dumping you!” Jasmine yelled. “We don’t even know who you are anymore!” It had only been three weeks since Camille had won the talent show, and she’d become somebody we didn’t even half recognize. After the video release party everybody had been giving her props. She’d been on two TV stations, and the newspaper had done a feature on her. It was like all of the attention had gone to her head. Even that trashy tabloid story hadn’t changed things.
“I can’t believe you said that!” Camille responded. “Number one, Xavier didn’t dump me. I dumped him. And number two, I’m the same person I was before! You all are the ones that are changing!”
I tried my best to tune them out, but after a few more minutes I had had enough. “Shut up!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. “Would you both just shut up? I’m so sick of this!”
My outburst caught everyone by surprise. They all fell instantly silent, staring at me.
“What in the world is going on in here? Why are you all screaming like you’ve lost your minds?” Miss Rachel walked in the room, clearly irritated. She looked like she was about to really go off when she took a good look at me. “Alexis, why are you crying?”
I didn’t even realize I was crying. I just felt exhausted, because it seemed everybody I loved was at each other’s throats.
“I don’t know,” I said, feeling drained. “I’m just tired. Everybody is so caught up in this trivial stuff. You know, other people do have things going on in their lives besides videos and stupid arguments,” I spat at my friends. “You guys make me sick!” I stood up and ran out of the room.
Miss Rachel followed me into the hallway. I’m sure everyone was freaking out, because I never had dramatic outbursts. Miss Rachel caught up with me and grabbed my arm. “Alexis, let’s go in my office and talk.”
“I don’t want to talk.” I was fed up and I wanted everybody to leave me alone. I still hadn’t come up with a plan to keep my parents together, and judging from the fact that my dad hadn’t come home again last night, my time was running out. That was the only thing I was concerned about.
“Can you do it for me?” Miss Rachel asked softly.
Since she put it like that, I didn’t feel like I had much choice. Maybe talking to an adult would do me good. Maybe she could help me come up with a plan. As I followed Miss Rachel into her office, her husband, Reverend Adams, was just walking out.
“Hi, sweetheart. I put those papers on your desk.” He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.
She nodded, then he turned to me. “Hello, Alexis, how are you?”
“Fine,” I mumbled.
They must have done some husband and wife mental stuff, because he said, “I’ll keep you in my prayers,” then gently squeezed my hand before walking off.
Miss Rachel took a seat in the chair in front of her desk, then motioned for me to sit down in the one next to her. I did, and she gently took my hand. “You know, Alexis, your journey with the Good Girlz hasn’t been easy,” she began. “For all of you. But I’d like to think we’ve learned some valuable lessons along the way.”
“I have,” I admitted.
“Well, that learning process is never over. To this day, I’m still learning.”
“Learning what?” I asked, surprised by this confession.
“To control my emotions, not let them rule my actions.” An odd look passed over her face. I couldn’t quite make it out, and she quickly shook it off and kept talking. “The bottom line remains, I’m a work in progress. So having said that, I think it’s really okay for you to blow off a little steam every now and then. What concerns me is that you are always so good-natured. I’d really like to know what’s bothering you to the point of losing it.”
I blew out a long breath as I thought about what Tyeesha had said. “Miss Rachel, can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“I remember one Sunday I was watching church on TV and hearing the pastor say that God hates divorce. Does that mean if you get a divorce, God can’t forgive you?” I know I was shifting nervously, but I was uncomfortable talking about this.
Miss Rachel smiled. “Well, first of all, we need to talk about you watching church and not going to church.” She winked and continued. “But you heard right, God hates divorce. He loves divorced people, though. His love doesn’t stop because you do something He doesn’t like.”
That was encouraging. “I don’t mean to get in your business, but have you ever thought about divorcing Reverend Adams?” I asked. I didn’t want to cross into her personal life, but I just needed to feel like I wasn’t in this alone.
Miss Rachel was straight with me, like always. “It’s no secret to anyone at Zion Hill that I’ve not only thought about it but even took steps in that direction.”
“Did you ever think about what it would do to your kids?”
“Of course I did. My children love Lester, and they would’ve been heartbroken if I had divorced him. But I wouldn’t have made that decision unless I was sure that in the long run it was better for everyone.” That didn’t sit well with me, and she noticed my sour face. “But I don’t want to talk about me. I want to talk about you.”
“My parents may be getting a divorce,” I blurted out. “And I’ve got to come up with a way to stop them.”
Miss Rachel nodded, finally understanding. “Sweetie,
you have to trust that everything your parents do will be done in love.”
I just didn’t get that. If they loved me, they’d stay together. It was that simple. “Do you think I could’ve done something differently?” I asked. “Maybe if I had cooperated more, if I didn’t get in any trouble, if I had better grades . . .” My voice trailed off.
“Alexis, you have a four-point-zero. How much better can your grades get?” Miss Rachel replied, taking my hand. “And remember, you came to the Good Girlz because you wanted to, not because you had to. You are a wonderful child that any parent would love to have. I don’t know your parents’ personal business, but I doubt very seriously that you contributed in any shape, form or fashion to their divorce.”
I sighed. I heard what she was saying, but I didn’t know if I believed it. One thing I did know—this divorce couldn’t happen. And I wouldn’t rest until I made sure that it didn’t.
19
Camille
I was so tired of fighting with my friends, but I didn’t know what to do. Thoughts of my argument with Jasmine and my breakup with Xavier were eating me alive. But I’d promised Maya that I’d come with her and two other dancers, named Shandy and Keke, to the America’s Next Top Model auditions at the Galleria Mall. Both Maya and Shandy thought they were shoo-ins for the show.
“Girl, why are you sitting up in here looking like you lost your best friend?” Maya asked.
“What’s wrong?” Shandy asked as she walked up behind Maya.
“I’m all right,” I said. I had only talked to Maya that one time I’d been fighting with Xavier, but I remembered how she had made me feel better. Since I needed to talk to someone about everything I was going through, I thought I might as well talk to someone who understood this business.
“Do you mind if I ask you guys something? How do you all do it, you know, do the video thing and manage your friends and your boyfriend and stuff?”
Shandy giggled. “These are my friends,” she said, motioning to Maya and Keke.
“Yeah,” Maya added. “When you try to hang with people who ain’t in the business, it’s nothing but drama. I told you that.”
“Not to mention the fact that you have to worry about people being with you just because you’re famous,” Keke added.
I thought back to my conversation with Xavier the other day. “I’m hardly famous,” I said. The more I thought about it, the more I realized the whole “fame” comment might have been a bit much.
“Not yet,” Shandy said. “But trust me, you’re on your way. Girl, you can sing.”
“And say what you want,” Maya added, “if you’re in a Sisco video, you’re famous. You might not be superstar status, but you’ve got a lot more going for you than these other busters.”
Shandy fluffed out her honey brown curly weave. “You just have to be careful,” she said. “Your friends are probably just jockin’ you anyway, tryin’ to see what they can get.”
“Oh, no, my friends aren’t like that,” I countered.
All three of the girls exchanged knowing looks. “That’s what we all used to think,” Shandy said.
“Was that one of your friends at the release party?” Keke asked. “The one whose brothers knocked over the buffet table and whose mama was acting all ghetto?”
I nodded. “That’s my best friend, Jasmine. But we’ve . . . things . . . let’s just say they aren’t too good right now.”
They all groaned and rolled their eyes. “Gimme a break,” Shandy moaned.
“Truth be told, you need to be finding a new set of friends anyway,” Maya added.
“What?” I said. Yeah, I was mad at my girls, but I wasn’t trying to get rid of them.
“Let me break it down to you,” Maya said, like she was really trying to school me. “Those girls are no longer in your league. You got that ol’ homely-looking one with the long black hair.”
“Angel?” I asked.
“Whatever her name is.” Maya shrugged like she couldn’t care less.
“Didn’t I hear her say she had a kid? A two-year-old? Isn’t she like fifteen?” Shandy added.
I was quick to defend her. “No, she’s sixteen, almost seventeen.”
“So that means she had a kid at what, fourteen, fifteen? Please.” Shandy threw up her hands. “You have an image to think about now.”
“And don’t even get me started on that other one, Jasmine. Talk about ghetto. As if you need that.” Maya dramatically rolled her eyes.
I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t believe they were talking about my friends like that. They must’ve realized how I was feeling, because Shandy gently touched my arm and said, “Look, we’re just keepin’ it real with you. In this business, you are the company you keep.”
“That’s right,” Maya echoed, “and if you want to get invited to all the hottest parties, get hired for more videos and even get your own shot at the big time, it’s all about being with the right people in the right place at the right time. Houston is about to become the new Hollywood. All the rappers and singers are coming here to shoot their videos, and if you want in, you gotta be in it to win it.”
I couldn’t believe what they were saying. If I wanted to make it in this business, I had to abandon my friends? That was crazy.
“And don’t even get me started on that boyfriend of yours,” Maya continued.
“Ex,” I said sadly.
“Y’all broke up?” Shandy asked.
I nodded.
“Good, you need to keep it that way,” Maya replied. “Because another thing you won’t have a shortage of is cute boys tryin’ to holla at you.”
I didn’t know what to say. I knew this business was brutal, but now I was learning that if I wanted to truly be a star, it was going to come at a serious cost—my friendship with the Good Girlz. Was that really the price of fame? And was it a price I was willing to pay?
20
Alexis
“Ugggh!” I released a loud, frustrated groan. I already had my music as high up as it would go. The sounds of Lil’ Wayne bounced off the walls of my oversized pink bedroom.
I knew this fight was serious. If Lil’ Wayne wasn’t enough to get my mom to come barreling into my room, ordering me to “turn that crap off,” something had to be really wrong.
But then again, who was I kidding? I knew something was wrong. It had been wrong for a while. All my parents ever did these days was argue. And that whole divorce thing my mom had been talking about was looking more and more like a reality.
I knocked my history book off my bed, grabbed the pillow and put it over my head. I had a geography test tomorrow, and even if I hadn’t had the music blaring, I wouldn’t have been able to study anyway. My parents had been going at it for over an hour now. This was one of their worst fights ever. I so wished Sonja was here.
I picked up my phone to call Camille. She was the one person who could always make me feel better when my parents fought. I knew she’d been super busy, but I really needed her right now.
“Hello,” she said, answering on the first ring.
Before I could get a sound out, I started crying.
“Alexis?”
“Camille, I need to talk to you,” I said through my tears. “It’s my parents. All the fighting, it’s just getting to be too much, and I think it’s just a matter of time before—”
“Alexis?” she repeated. “Is that you? I can’t hear you. What’s all that noise?”
I hadn’t even paid attention to the fact that my iPod was still blasting Lil’ Wayne.
“Oh, hold on a minute,” I began, but she cut me off again.
“If you can hear me, I’ll call you back. I’m babysitting and these kids are out of control.”
“Wait, Camille, I really—” She hung up the phone before I could finish my sentence.
I was so upset that I just pushed the End button, then dialed Jasmine’s number.
“Hello,” Jasmine said.
“Hey, Jasmine,” I said.
&nbs
p; “Hel-lo!” Jasmine repeated. “Alexis, is that you?” she yelled. “Why is it so loud? Are you at the club or something?”
I groaned, reached over, grabbed the remote and hit the mute button on my iPod system.
“What’s up, girl? And why you got the music blasting like that? Was that Lil’ Wayne?”
“Yeah, it’s his new album. The uncut version.”
“Ooooh, your parents must definitely not be at home.”
“Yeah, they are.” They were definitely making that clear. “But it’s not like it matters. It’s not like my parents will stop fighting long enough to even notice.”
Jasmine’s tone softened. “Dang, they’re fighting again?”
“Yes,” I said, fighting back tears. “And I don’t understand. How do you go from being so in love to hating each other?”
“I’m sure they don’t hate each other.”
I listened to yet another door slam. “That’s sure not love.” I couldn’t make out what my mom was saying, but she was being her usual dramatic self and screaming at the top of her lungs.
I imagined my father. He was usually calm and cool, but my mom must’ve been pushing his buttons, because he was yelling as well.
“I just wish . . .” I couldn’t even finish my sentence before I was crying again.
“Awww, Alexis, don’t cry,” Jasmine said. “Hold on, I’m going to call Angel and Camille so we can cheer you up.”
“I just called Camille. She’s busy.”
Jasmine didn’t sound surprised by that news. “Well, hang on while I call Angel.” I held the phone and tried to stop my tears while she clicked over.
“Hey, Angel,” I said, my voice wading in tears, when they both were on the line.
“Hey, Alexis, you okay?” Angel asked.
“No,” I whimpered.
“Awww, sweetie, I’m sorry,” Angel said. “You want us to come over? My mom’s here, so she can watch Angelica. And we can call Camille and Tyeesha to meet us there. We can just have one big slumber party.”
“Alexis already talked to Camille. She’s busy,” Jasmine said, not trying to hide her sarcasm.
Caught Up in the Drama Page 8