I slowly began walking up the stairs. I could hear my heart pounding, and I felt sick to my stomach. So many thoughts were racing through my head. Would this be “the talk” I had been dreading? I put a brave smile on my face as I reached the door.
“Hey, Daddy. I missed you,” I said as I kissed him on the cheek. “Mom, how was your day?” I asked as I sat on the chaise longue.
My mom came over, sat down next to me, and took my hand. At least she looked better than she had the last time we’d talked.
“Honey, your dad and I need to talk to you—”
I interrupted her, hoping I could prolong the conversation by telling them about my day. “I know. But first I need to tell you about my day.” I didn’t even have anything to tell, but suddenly I felt like I could no longer take their news.
When my dad sat down on the other side of me, I knew this was serious. “Baby girl, this is important,” he said softly. “You know we love you, right?”
I nodded as my eyes began to fill up with tears.
“I’m sure you’ve noticed how strained things have been between your mother and me,” he continued. “We’ve given this a lot of thought, and we need to tell you something.”
I immediately started to cry because I knew what was coming next. I could feel my breathing getting heavier. My mom had tears in her eyes as well.
Even my dad choked up, but he kept talking. “You are old enough to understand certain things now. We’ve tried to make this marriage work, but neither of us has been happy for a long time. We both think it is best for the entire family if we get a divorce.”
“What? Best for the entire family?” I screamed. Although I’d expected the news, hearing them actually say the words was like a knife in my stomach. “How could your getting a divorce be best for the family? This isn’t what’s best for the family. It’s what’s best for you two!” I knew I was crossing the line by yelling at my parents, but I couldn’t help it. I was just so upset. I swear, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs.
“Baby, I know this is hard for you,” my mom said, “but splitting up really is for the best. Your dad and I see how our fighting is affecting you. I hate what it is doing to you. We wanted to wait until you graduated, but then all of us would be miserable, and that’s just not healthy.”
I was in full crying mode now. As my mom tried to console me, I shrugged her hand off my shoulders. This could not be happening to me. My life had never been perfect, but this would change everything. I had so many thoughts going through my head. Had anyone told my sister yet? How was she going to take it? Who would I have to live with? Would I have to change schools? I was finding it hard to breathe at this point. All I could think about was running out the door.
“I just can’t deal with this right now,” I whispered. “Can I go now?” I asked with tears streaming down my face.
“Baby, are you sure you don’t want to talk about how you’re feeling?” my mom asked. Now she wanted to be concerned with my feelings.
“No, I don’t. Not right now. I just need time by myself.”
My dad put his arm around me. “Okay, sweetheart. We understand. This is a lot to process. Just know that we are here if you need to talk or have any questions.”
“What would we talk about?” I cried. “You’ve already decided for me!”
I ran to my room, slammed the door, and threw myself onto the bed, sobbing. Never in my life had I felt so bad. A few months ago, my ex-boyfriend Jaquan, Jasmine’s brother, had been killed by a neighborhood gang. I had cried a lot then, but that was nothing compared to how I felt now. This was almost like losing a loved one all over again.
I felt like my life as I knew it was coming to an end.
24
Camille
Forget all of ’em. Each and every one of my so-called friends. That’s what I had been telling myself all day. Even after the way they’d dissed me at school yesterday, I’d tried to call Jasmine and make up. She’d had her bratty brothers say she was busy. Then neither Alexis nor Angel had returned my calls, even though I’d left a message.
Maya told me that before all was said and done, I would find out who my true friends were. I definitely had found out who my friends weren’t.
“Camille, are you all right?” my mother asked, appearing in my bedroom door.
I had been standing in front of the mirror, lost in thought. I spun around and tried to fake a smile. “I’m fine.”
My mother peered closer at me. “Have you been crying?”
I glanced at my reflection. My eyes were red. Probably because I had been crying about ten minutes ago, just before I’d told myself to suck it up and blow my friends off.
“No, I’m fine. Just my allergies,” I replied.
My mother folded her arms across her chest. “Since when did you get allergies?”
I didn’t want a heart-to-heart. “Mom, I’m running late.” I started gathering up my stuff.
“So, are you really going to go to this party without your friends?” she asked.
“I don’t have any friends,” I snapped.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Camille. If anything, you need to be remembering who your real friends are.”
“Mom, Alexis and ’nem are not my friends. In fact, they’re the biggest haters of all.” I flung my purse over my shoulder.
She sighed heavily. “Somehow I seriously doubt that,” she replied. “Camille, I don’t think all of your friends just up and decided to one day turn on you. Think about it. It must be something you’re doing.”
“Why are you taking their side?” I cried.
“I’m not taking their side,” my mom responded. “I just want you to look at it objectively.”
“Whatever.”
“And while I’m thinking about it, did that man ever say something about that video—you know, editing that trash out at the end?” My mom had called Mark several times, but he hadn’t gotten back to her.
“I talked to Mark,” I continued explaining. “He said he was going to try, but it might be too late and too costly to change the video, because it’s already in rotation.”
“That’s not open for discussion, Camille,” she said flatly. “And if I need to talk to him, I will. I’ve already talked with Mr. Canady,” she said, referring to my dad’s old friend, a big-time attorney in Houston.
Fear edged into my voice. “What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said. Mr. Canady said that without my consent, you are underage and that video cannot continue to air. And that permission slip I signed was clear, there were to be no provocative images. So they need to pull it. I don’t care how much it costs.”
“Mom!”
“Don’t ‘Mom’ me.” Her hard stare pinned me down. “Now, I agreed to let you do this under one condition—that it be done with class and dignity. There was nothing classy or dignified about what I saw on that screen.”
I was silent. I’d been lucky. So far she hadn’t seen the newspaper. I knew I really should have told her about it, but I hadn’t been able to get up the nerve. Plus, I knew she would totally flip out.
I didn’t even feel like arguing anymore. Truth be told, I wasn’t in the mood to party. More than anything, I wanted to transport myself back in time to before this stupid talent show.
She must’ve sensed my frustration because she finally said, “Well, I guess you should get going. Have fun. Be careful in my car.”
I had my own car, a beat-up Toyota Camry that we’d just gotten fixed. But I had begged my mom to let me drive hers tonight, because I so did not want to be rolling up to this party in my hoopty. It would’ve been nice to drive up flossing in Alexis’s BMW, but oh, well.
“’Bye,” I said, stomping past her.
She reached out her arm to stop me. “I still love you,” she said, kind as ever.
That melted my heart. My mom and I had been through a lot. The stress I’d caused her back when I’d gotten into all that trouble with Keith had given her a heart a
ttack. Yeah, she’d tried to say that hadn’t been the cause, but I’d known it had been. After almost losing her, I’d realized how much she meant to me. “I love you, too, Mama.” I leaned over and kissed her cheek.
She took my chin. “Sweetie, I’m going to let you work this out on your own, but I’m telling you, true friends are the ones that are there for you whether you’re hot . . . or not. And please understand that God is gonna work everything out. It might not be how you want it or when you want it, but God has it already figured out.”
I smiled. I hoped God would go ahead and work things out—because I didn’t know how much more of this drama I could take.
25
Alexis
The sight of Angelica brought a smile to my face. Especially when she pushed a large pink stuffed rabbit at me.
“Auntie Lexi! We bring Snuggles to make you feel better!”
“Ohhhhh.” I took the rabbit, kissed Angelica, then stepped aside and let Angel and her daughter in.
“You two didn’t have to come over,” I said, shutting the door behind them.
“Please, it gave us an excuse to get out of the house.” Angel set Angelica down, and she immediately raced over to start playing with my Wii. It wasn’t on, but she didn’t seem to care.
“I just talked to you,” I said, shutting the door.
“And I told you, I don’t like hearing you sound so bummed out. So I came to hang out with you. Plus, I brought you this.” She held up an OK! magazine. “Thought you might want to read about Paula Abdul not coming back to American Idol. I couldn’t catch up with Jasmine and Tyeesha. So it’s just me and you.” Angel plopped down on the sofa.
“And me!” Angelica exclaimed.
“And you,” I said, ruffling her hair. “Let me get us something to eat.” Angel smiled as she tossed the magazine on the coffee table.
I made my way into the kitchen, pulled a big bag of gourmet popcorn out of the pantry, dumped it into a bowl, grabbed two sodas and made my way back into the living room. I stopped in the door and watched Angel and Angelica. Angel had turned on the Wii Cheer game. Even though Angelica wasn’t doing her cheerleader right, they looked like they were having the time of their lives. It made me long for the days when my mom and I used to do fun stuff. It had been a very long time since we had, but seeing Angel and her daughter made me miss it more than ever.
“She is too cute,” I said, setting the bowl on the coffee table. Angelica spotted the popcorn, threw the Wii remote down and dove in.
“Do you mind if I put the TV on cartoons for her?” Angel asked.
“Sure,” I said.
Angel walked over to the TV and changed the channel. I hadn’t expected them to drop by, but I was so glad they had. My mom was upstairs, where she’d been since my father left. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was totally messed up about him leaving. With Sonja gone, I had just been moping around the house all day.
“So, how are you really?” Angel asked after she’d gotten Angelica settled in.
I shrugged. “I just can’t believe it. I mean, what am I supposed to do without my dad?”
Angel forced a smile. “I’ve been okay.”
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” I totally forgot that Angel’s dad had walked out on them when she was a little girl. Still, not belittling her situation, it was different when your dad was around, then he was suddenly gone.
“It’s okay,” Angel replied. “I know you’re hurting.”
We spent the next two hours talking about my parents, the Good Girlz, Camille and stuff at school. By the time Angel announced she had to go, I felt so much better.
“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?” she asked. She was standing in the doorway. Angelica was asleep on her shoulder. “I would stay, but I have to get Rosario her car back.”
“No, you made me feel better,” I said. “Thanks so much.”
She smiled, gently hugging me before heading to her car.
“Who was that?” my mom asked as the door closed. I hadn’t heard her come downstairs, but I could tell by her puffy eyes that she hadn’t just been resting like I’d thought.
“That was Angel. She came by for a while.”
My mom sat on the sofa and patted for me to come sit next to her. “I’m sorry, baby. I really shouldn’t have left you to fend for yourself today.”
I sat down next to her. “It’s okay.” I wanted to tell her I’d been getting used to it lately, but I figured now wasn’t the time.
“I guess we should drive up to tell your sister tomorrow.”
I thought about Sharon. Despite the expensive facility she was in, she wasn’t improving the way my mother would’ve liked. I thought that maybe we didn’t need to add to her problems—if she even understood what divorce was.
“Let’s go see her,” I said. “But can we hold off on telling her about . . .” I couldn’t even say it out loud.
My mother stroked my hair. “You’re right.” She stared at me with tears in her eyes. “I know we’ve kind of left you to grow up on your own so fast. I’m sorry,” she said. “But it’s just me and you now, sweetpea.”
I laid my head on her shoulder. “I hate the sound of that,” I said softly.
“I do, too, baby. I do, too,” my mom replied. We sat in silence for the next hour, my mom holding and comforting me like Sonja used to. I know we were both wondering how we would adjust to my father not being there. I finally decided to ask something that had been on my mind all day.
“Mom, do you think Daddy will get another family?”
She sighed heavily. “I think we just have to prepare for the worst, baby. Personally, I believe your father is married to his work. But who knows? I wouldn’t be surprised if he did find someone else.” She sounded more like she was talking to herself. She must’ve realized it, because she quickly corrected herself. “Just know that if he does, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you. He just doesn’t love me,” she mumbled.
The whole idea caused her to break down sobbing again, and I felt awful about even asking. “Mom, I’m so sorry.”
She sniffed. “It’s not your fault.” She dabbed her eyes. “I have to go lie down. I can’t take this.”
As I watched her leave, I was so angry that I kicked the coffee table over. My mother was hurting. I was miserable. And the idea of my father getting another family made my stomach turn.
I couldn’t let that happen. I had to do whatever I could to keep it from happening. Only I had no idea what that would be.
As I fell back against the sofa, my eyes made their way to the OK! magazine Angel had brought over. It had fallen to the floor when I’d kicked the table. I was about to pick it up when I glanced at the front cover. In a small box next to Paula Abdul was a picture of a teary-eyed man and woman, holding a young girl. I picked the magazine up and read the headline. “Reunited After a Horrible Ordeal.”
Looking at the picture of the smiling young girl, her parents hugging her tightly, made me think. For that family, the only thing that mattered was being together again. I didn’t even know what had happened to the little girl, but from the looks on her parents’ faces, nothing mattered except the fact that they had her back. Maybe I needed to bring my family together as well. My eyes grew wide as a thought popped into my head. “United in Tragedy,” the subhead read. That’s what I needed. I wouldn’t go so far as doing anything tragic, but maybe a horrible ordeal would be just what my family needed to put us back together.
26
Camille
If inside looked anything like outside, this party was about to be off the chain. It seemed like everybody in Houston had come out to celebrate Sisco’s twenty-first birthday bash.
I had just pulled into the parking lot when I spotted Maya and two other girls I didn’t recognize. She waved and pointed to a spot that had just opened up on the first row. Just my luck, I thought as I carefully pulled into the spot. I was grateful I didn’t have to search for a parking spot.
“
Hey, girl,” Maya said after I caught up with them.
“Hey, Maya,” I replied.
“This is Toya and Tangie,” she said, motioning to the girls with her. “They are friends of mine.”
I smiled, wondering if the girls were in the business. I decided to ask. “Nice to meet you. Are you two dancers also?”
“Chile, please,” Toya said. “We’re just hanging with my girl. We grew up together,” she said, pointing between herself and Maya.
I struggled to contain the confused look on my face. After all, Maya had been the main one telling me I needed to be selective with my friends and only hang out with “industry people.”
“But it looks like hanging out with Maya ain’t as profitable as it used to be,” Tangie snapped, rolling her eyes.
Maya rolled her eyes right back. “You coulda stayed at home.”
That’s just what I needed—more drama. “What’s up?” I asked, adjusting my rhinestone Baby Phat belt before applying some MAC lip gloss.
Maya blew a heavy breath. “Girl, can you believe they don’t have my name on the VIP list? So the bouncer gon’ tell me to just wait in the line.” She put one hand on her hip and motioned toward the long line with her other hand. The line snaked down the sidewalk and around the corner.
“Wow,” I said, taking in all the people. The party would be over by the time we made it through that line.
“Hey,” Maya said, like an idea had just come to her. “What am I thinking? I know your name is on the VIP list.” She grabbed my arm and led me toward the door. I felt funny marching past all of those people, most of whom were looking at us real crazy for cutting in line.
“You back?” the bouncer asked. “I told you—”
“We’re here with my girl,” Maya said, leaning in close to me like we were best friends since kindergarten. She tapped his clipboard. “So check your little list there and find her name. Camille . . .” She looked at me, unsure.
“Harris,” I finished for her. “Camille Harris. I mean, Camille Simone,” I said, remembering my stage name.
Caught Up in the Drama Page 10