by A. Anders
Peter looked at Cristiano feigning surprise. “Lucy! Wait a minute, is this the Lucy you were engaged to?” Peter asked casually.
“Don’t act dumb. You know she is. Is this why you insisted that I come? Are you trying to humiliate me with her?”
“Humiliate you? Why would I do that? I love you. You know I love you,” Peter insisted. “I was willing to bring you to my work and introduce you to my potentially homophobic coworkers. Do you think I would do all that to humiliate you? What type of sick person you think I am?”
Lucy watched their exchange sure that she was about to throw up. The tears ran down her cheeks uncontrollably. There was nothing on earth that could have made her feel worse than the way she felt right then. It felt like Peter had reached into her chest and pulled out her heart. As she stood watching it beat in his hand, Lucy could do only one thing, run away.
Cutting through everybody, Lucy ran through the middle of the park. Not stopping until she reached the parking lot, she got into her car. This was all too much for her. Her world was again crumbling around her and all she could do was watch it fall.
Cristiano
Chapter 9
Cristiano watched Lucy run across the park. His heart ached for her. He had never wanted to hurt her. If he would have known that she would be there, he never would have come.
But more than that, Pete had made a decision for him that he wasn’t ready to embrace. Yes, he loved Pete, but it was easier to love him when no one was looking, especially someone from his past.
And Lucy wasn’t just someone from his past. With his memory loss, Lucy was the only one from his past. On top of that, only weeks ago they had been engaged. Pete had more than just put him in an awkward situation. He had violated Cristiano’s trust.
“Why did you do that?” Cristiano barked at Pete.
“Do what?” Pete asked feigning innocence.
“Don’t try and bullshit me. I know that you knew I was engaged to her. I always wondered why you had reacted the way you did when I had told you Lucy’s name. I had thought that you recognized it from a newspaper or something. But the whole time she was someone you worked with. How could you lie to me like that?”
Pete looked at Cristiano defensively. “First of all, I never lied.”
“You did lie.”
“No. When you told me her name, I simply asked how I would know her. I never said that I didn’t know her.”
“Pete, I am not going to let you talk your way out of this. You humiliated her and you embarrassed me. Has this been your plan all along? Was the only reason you dated me was so that you could use me against her? Do you even really love me?”
Pete took a step towards Cristiano and grabbed his shoulder. “Don’t say that. You know I love you. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you.
“And I admit it. When you said her name I knew immediately who she was. But I didn’t know your relationship with her when we first met in the coffee shop. I didn’t know your relationship with her when I came in search of you at the bar. Maybe pursuing you took on an added bonus once I knew who you were engaged to. But I think I made it clear that I was going to pursue you anyway.
“And after everything started going so well between us, I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. I don’t know why I brought you here and blindsided you like this? But you have to understand, she and I had a long, complex relationship,” Pete admitted.
“Relationship? What type of relationship did you have?” Cristiano asked caught off guard.
“Do you want me to be honest?”
“Yes, Pete. Of course I want you to be honest.”
Pete paused for a moment, looked at his feet, and then took a deep breath before answering. “Until I met you, I was in love with Lucy.”
“You were in love with Lucy?” Cristiano asked confused.
“You said you wanted me to be honest,” Pete said defensively.
Cristiano thought about everything. “Then, I don’t get it. If you loved her, why would you use me to hurt her?”
Pete looked exhausted. “It’s a long story. As much as I loved her, she never seemed to feel the same for me. So many times I had tried to show her how I felt but every time I did, she would do something or say something to rub my face in my feelings.
“I think her father knew how I felt. Maybe I had asked about her one too many times. Even he tried to get me a fair shot with her. But it turns out that for most the time I was in love with her, she was in love with someone else. She was in love with you.
“Of course, the only way I found out about her feelings for you was when you told me. Luckily, by that time I was long on my way to falling for you. And I knew that keeping my relationship with her secret was a mistake. But at what point was I supposed to tell you?
“I wanted you to like me. I wanted you to love me back. How would your feelings for me change if you knew that I had been in love with your ex-fiancée?”
“So you instead decided to use me in some game?”
“I don’t know what I was doing. We had this thing going at work and she had humiliated me in front of everyone. It blinded me. All I could think about was getting back at her. And what better way to strike back then to show her that the man she had loved had chosen me over her,” Pete admitted ashamed.
Cristiano stared at Pete taking it all in. His heart felt heavy from everything that was said. “Do you know what I truly don’t understand?”
“What’s that?” Pete asked feeling humbled.
“How is it that I keep falling for people who find it so easy to lie to me to get what they want?”
Pete stared at Cristiano with his mouth open unable to reply.
“That’s what I thought,” Cristiano said before turning and walking away.
“Where are you going?” Pete said calling after him.
“I’m going back to my place.”
“Your place?”
“Yeah. I think I need a little time by myself. Don’t call me. I’ll call you,” Cristiano pronounced before heading to the parking lot and calling a taxi.
Cristiano rode back to his apartment feeling devastated. How could the man he loved to do this to him? Couldn’t he trust anyone? Was this what his life was like before he lost his memory?
Cristiano thought about the look on Lucy’s face when she had first seen them. There was so much pain. How could the man he loved be so cruel as to do this to someone that he had once loved? Was Pete capable of doing this to him? How long was it before his boyfriend turned on him? How long was it before Cristiano was in Lucy’s shoes?
The taxi dropped Cristiano off and he fled into his apartment. He hadn’t spent much time there over the last few weeks instead choosing to stay at Pete’s. Other than the increased distance to work, Pete’s place was better in every way. And when Cristiano needed to get around, Pete was always quick to offer him his car. Cristiano didn’t feel like their relationship was a lie, but how could he ignore the way Pete had used him?
What lingered the most in Cristiano’s thoughts, though, was how Lucy must’ve felt. It had never been Cristiano’s plan to cut her out of his life. Time had simply gotten away from him. His romance with Pete had been a whirlwind. Swept up in the passion, it was hard for Cristiano to think of anything else.
But no matter what Lucy had done or said, she didn’t deserve that. Cristiano believed her that they had once been engaged. If they had, there had to be a reason for it. At one point he must have loved her. If he had, that was no way to treat a woman that he had loved.
Cristiano thought about Lucy and Pete all day. By the time he went to sleep he was no closer to figuring out what he should do next. As he dreamed things seemed to get a little clearer. He imagined himself sitting in the bar where he worked waiting for Lucy to arrive. When she did Cristiano gave her a drink and told her that by drinking it she would get the night’s rules.
Once the drink was done and the rules were told, Cristiano and Lucy went back to his place. There, the
re were a number of sex toys on a cloth covering his bureau. In the dream, Cristiano made her choose one. With it he dominated her. Following that, they made love.
After making love, Cristiano wrapped his arms around Lucy and asked her to marry him. When she said yes, Cristiano’s heart felt like it would explode. Cristiano loved Lucy so much that the power of it shook Cristiano awake.
“Was that real?” Cristiano asked himself.
As soon as he did, a flood of memories came rushing back. The first was of him and Lucy lying in bed talking about a man that her father wanted her to marry. Lucy had called him Peter Baron but Cristiano now knew him as Pete.
After that came a lifetime of memories. There were so many of them that Cristiano couldn’t recall just one. His childhood in Spain, his time working as a cowboy, his move to Los Angeles, it all came back to him. Cristiano suddenly knew who he was. The only thing left to understand was why he had fallen for Pete in the first place.
With his greater understanding of his past and his life, he searched his memories for other men that he might have loved. There were a few that he was attracted to but none that he loved as much as Pete. As he lay there putting it all together, he began to understand when his interest in men truly took shape.
For so long he had fought his attraction towards the same gender. It was that fight that caused him to withdraw from his family for the isolation of cowboy life. He thought that alone on the Pampas of Spain, he wouldn’t be tempted by men.
He was wrong. In fact, it was during a particularly cold night when he and a fellow cowboy climbed into the same sleeping bag. That was also the night that he had truly lost his virginity.
Wanting to get as far away from the experience as possible, the next day Cristiano quit his job and escaped to Los Angeles. The move seemed to work. He found a job as a bartender and often got to work at fancy parties. It was at one of those parties that he met a woman he would later fall in love with. He had wanted to marry her and was intending to do so until a car crash took away his memories.
Now that he again felt the love that he had had for Lucy, what was Cristiano supposed to do? What was he supposed to do considering that, in spite of everything, he was still in love with Pete?
Cristiano didn’t know what he should or was supposed to do, but by the time the sun rose, he knew what he was going to do. The only question now was whether it would work.
Lucy
Chapter 10
Lucy couldn’t understand how Cristiano could have ended up with Peter. It was as if her two worlds had collided. Unable to see another moment of them together, Lucy had run to the parking lot, gotten into her car, and sped away.
She didn’t care what her father felt about her leaving. She didn’t care about anything. She just needed to get home as quickly as possible before the truth of what had happened finally sunk in.
When she was locked behind her condo door she couldn’t hold it back any longer. With the weight of everything hitting her at once, she couldn’t take another step. Like a sack of potatoes, she fell to the ground.
Balled up on the floor by the door she sobbed trying to figure out what had happened. When and how had Cristiano and Peter met? Was Peter the one that Cristiano had told her about?
Nothing seemed to make any sense as Lucy laid curled on the floor. Her heart thumped in agony. The pain was almost too much for her. Why had any of this happened to her? Would everyone’s life be better if she just ended it all now?
Lucy cried until her tear ducts were all cried out. Still struggling to breathe, her eyes and emotions felt raw. Without realizing it, the day had turned into night and never having turned her lights on, Lucy spent the next few hours laying on the floor in the dark.
It wasn’t until midnight that Lucy was able to gather enough strength to drag herself into bed. To her surprise, she quickly fell asleep. Unlike in Mexico, she didn’t want to keep thinking of everything.
She no longer needed to know what went wrong between Cristiano and her. She knew what went wrong. In spite of all of the sex that they had had, Cristiano had tricked her. It was even possible that he and Peter had been planning something like this all along. The entire world was out to humiliate her and the only way of escaping it was with sleep.
Although Lucy had woken up at 11 AM, she didn’t open her eyes until she heard her phone beep at noon. Who could possibly be texting her? She had abandoned most of her friends when she started dating Cristiano and things hadn’t gotten better once she had started to work.
Lucy kept trying to put the mystery of the text out of her mind but somehow it continued to creep back. Could it possibly be Pedro? He did have her number. Had he seen her run off? Had he gotten concerned? Was the text him checking up on her to ensure that she was all right?
Lucy conjured an image of Pedro in her mind. He was certainly a good-looking guy. What would he be like in bed? Was he a gentle lover or did he have a dominant side that he hid? When
Lucy’s imagination got the better of her, she sat up and scanned the room for her phone. It was nowhere in sight. Consigning herself to having to get up, she gathered her strength and sat on the edge of the bed. She felt weak. It was more than just her emotional state that was weakening her. She hadn’t eaten in twenty-four hours.
Fighting her way to her feet, she stood up. The world swayed around her. Taking one small step and then another everything settled down. She was still dizzy but she felt steadier. And leaving her bedroom for the living room, she spotted her purse on the floor near the door.
Picking up speed as she walked towards it, she thought about what Pedro might have texted. Would it be something friendly or flirtatious? The last thing she wanted to be was alone, so would there be away for her to turn what he said into an invitation for him to come over?
Picking up her purse, she retrieved her phone. There was definitely a text message waiting for her but the name atop of it wasn’t Pedro’s. It was Cristiano’s.
Lucy’s body froze and peaked with sweat. Why had he texted her? She wondered. What did the message say?
Lucy stared at the message indicator feeling her heart race. She opened her mouth to breathe. She could feel herself shake. Why was she letting Cristiano have this effect on her? Was there anything she could do to stop it if she tried?
Unable to stand not knowing what he had written, Lucy opened the message and read it. It said:
‘Rule #1) You will go to Bar Sinister tonight at midnight.
Rule #2) You will wear a tight, short black dress with black underwear and a black bra.
Rule #3) When you get to the bar you will ask the bartender for a “properly prepared slippery nipple”.
Rule #4) You will refer to me as Sir.
P.S. I have my memory back.’
Lucy stared at the screen in shock. What the fuck was going on? Could this be real? Had Cristiano truly gotten his memory back? If so, when? Was it before or after she had seen him at the picnic?
A new energy filled Lucy as she turned to the phone to read the message again. Touching the screen, her phone lit up one more time and then died.
“Nooo!” She yelled horrified.
Desperate to reread what Cristiano had written, she scoured her apartment for her charger. Finding it and plugging in her phone, she still couldn’t turn it on.
“No! No! No!” She screamed unable to believe her luck.
“Just think, Lucy. Think! Where was it that he had said to meet him? It was Bar something? Was it Bar Somersault? No. Bar Samson. No, but it was something like that. Think, Lucy! Think!”
Lucy paced around her condo racking her brain. Picking up her phone and staring at it again, all she saw was an image of a battery being filled. Out of all of the times that her phone could have died, why did happen now? It was like it was evil.
“Bar Sinister! It was Bar Sinister!” She declared as she ran to her computer.
Typing in the name a link popped up. Following it, she arrived at a page that she didn’t expec
t. Bar sinister was the name of a goth bar. Could that be right? Goth wasn’t either of their scenes. Why would Cristiano tell her to go there? And if this was really where he had said, why would he choose this place as a destination for one of their games?
The ten minutes it took for her to be able to turn on her phone again felt like an eternity. Accessing the text she confirmed the location. It was Bar Sinister. Considering what he had instructed her to wear, Lucy didn’t believe that it was a mistake. Now only two questions remained; was it really Cristiano who had sent the message, and was she actually going to go?
As Lucy considered her possibilities, she felt her appetite come rushing back. With nothing in her fridge to eat, she quickly got changed and headed for the elevator. Exiting her building and walking a half block away, she approached her favorite brunch place. Seated, she had to resist the urge to order everything on the menu.
“I’ll have the Crabs Benedict. And if there is any way I can get that as soon as possible, I would appreciate it,” she told the petite blonde waitress.
Waiting for her meal, Lucy kept turning the situation around in her head. What if Cristiano had just gotten his memory back? What if this was the first thing that he decided to do? Was it possible that his love for her had returned? The thought was almost too tantalizing to believe.
By the time Lucy finished brunch, she knew what she was going to do. Cristiano had put her through a lot. She wasn’t about to let him off the hook so easily. Her plan was to make herself look as beautiful as possible and then, just when Cristiano was going to do whatever he had planned, she was going to reject him like he had rejected her.
This was what he deserved. He needed to know how it felt. If they had any chance of getting back together, she needed him to understand what she had gone through. And more than that, she felt like he deserved a little payback.
Lucy spent the next five hours getting ready and the five hours were barely enough. There was some waxing that needed to be done. She needed a manicure and pedicure. And most importantly, she needed gorgeous underwear and the perfect dress.