by A. Anders
Goddammit, I had to get off this island!
In less than an hour, my calf had healed enough for me to walk on it. Looking at it, it was still bruised. But in another few hours, my calf would be stronger than when I began. Best of all, if the bots were equipped with the expensive magic dust, I wouldn’t even have a scar, inside or out.
I had to assume that my arm would be fine as well. I could move it without pain, but that was mostly because of the best part of magic dust, the painkillers. The more dust you got, the better you felt. So walking back to camp, Freddy, Victor and I were feeling really good.
Arriving back at the resort, a couple of the guys circled us, asking what the group date was like. Freddy answered. Amazingly, he barely acknowledged the challenge, focusing entirely on Rose, how she looked, what she said.
I appreciated that the guys were sparing me the embarrassment of mentioning it. But hadn’t I saved Freddy’s life? Wouldn’t a normal person bring that up at least once? Wasn’t that an important point? I mean, you know, from a storytelling perspective.
Also, what was up with his obsession with Rose? He had seen her three times and had spoken to her twice. Half of the time that he had spent with her was spent lying on the ground bleeding out.
So, how could he be talking about her now as if he was already in love? And why weren’t the others asking about anything else?
When Ian and I were back in our room, it was time to finish our conversation from breakfast. I had to know what the hell was going on here. Was this what all of these shows were like?
“No,” he said to my relief. “The challenges aren’t usually so death-defying. The bear could have killed you, and the bot wasn’t moving to help.”
“And Kurt. That was strange too, right?” I asked him, starting to put things together.
Ian’s eyes softened before continuing. “I’m gonna be honest with you, Ford. I don’t remember there being a Kurt.”
“I spoke to him all night at the cocktail party. Kind of a Clark Kent looking guy.”
“Yeah, you said that. But I thought I saw you standing alone.”
“Brad could tell you. He made both of us drinks.”
“Hey, I believe you. I’m just saying that no one remembers him.”
“No one?”
I was about to launch into a full defense of my sanity when Pete interrupted me. The fingerprint scanner, which doubled as a display, was flashing the word “Confession.”
“It wants you to do a confession,” Ian said from his bunk.
“What do you mean?”
“You know, it’s those interviews they show before and after a challenge.”
“I’ve never seen one of these shows before.”
“Well, your producer told you about it, right?”
“No. He didn’t tell me anything. They just had me fill out some paperwork, and then they brought me here.”
“That’s weird,” Ian paused. “I wonder if it’s because they didn’t expect you to make it past the first elimination.”
“I almost didn’t. In fact, I was gonna suggest that she take Kurt instead of me.”
Ian didn’t like it when I talked about Kurt. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe he didn’t like thinking that a crazy person had access to him while he slept.
“Anyway,” he continued. “You want to try a confessional?”
“I guess.”
“You look at the space above the scanner. Give it three blinks, and then talk.”
I looked down at Pete and then back at Ian. “Wait. I’m sorry. Did you say that I look at the space above the scanner?”
“Yeah. You look at the scanner, and it will give you the topic. Then you look at the space above the scanner, wait for three blinks, and then talk.”
I looked down at Pete’s scanner. Sure enough, words appeared saying, “picked for the group date; present.” I then looked at the space above the scanner, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a red light blink three times.
“It was alright,” I offered casually.
“No,” Ian announced from his bed. “First off, you gotta say more. And does it say a tense?”
“What do you mean?”
Ian came over and sat next to me. “See,” he said pointing at the display. “It’s telling you to talk about being picked for the group date as if it were the present. So you have to talk about it as if we haven’t gone on it yet.”
“But we have gone on it.”
“Yes. But when the audience sees it, what you say now will appear before the date. So you have to talk like it hasn’t happened yet.”
I returned my attention to Pete. I thought for a second and spoke.
“I got chosen for a group date. Hey, imagine that,” I said with a healthy amount of sarcasm.
Pete must have liked that because his message changed. It said, “Why you are excited about the date.”
Ian jumped in. “It’s telling you that you should say that you are excited about going on the date and to add a reason why.”
I looked back at Pete. “I’m excited because I’ve never fought a bear before.”
Pete blinked the word ‘disapproved’ on its display.
“See, if you haven’t been on the date yet, then how would you know that you will be fighting a bear?” Ian asked.
“Really?” I said, finding the whole thing ridiculous.
“Just be glad they’re asking you. My pawn isn’t asking me. That probably means that they’ll focus on you for that group date. They’re gonna give you a storyline for the episode.”
I didn’t know how I felt about all of that. When I came here, my plan was to hang out in the back. I wasn’t looking for my own storyline, whatever that meant.
I took all of Ian’s suggestions, and eventually Pete stopped blinking messages at me. I wasn’t sure if it was because he gave up or because he had gotten everything he needed.
I found the whole situation weird. But the only question I found uncomfortable was the one asking why I had jumped into the ring. I don’t know why I jumped into the ring. I mean, I know why, but… Let’s just say that the reason is complex.
The answer I gave Pete was, “Because it was there.” Pete flashed the question again, and I gave the same answer. I think I broke his spirit because, after that, it didn’t ask me to re-answer questions.
I spent the next few hours in bed. Although magic dust gave you quite a buzz initially, once it wore off, it left a bit of a hangover.
Riding the magic dust dragon, I stared at the ceiling thinking about something Ian had said. He had suggested that I wasn’t expected to make it past the first night.
How had I made it past the first night? Who were they expecting Rose to choose instead? Kurt, maybe. Certainly, I would have chosen him if I were her.
After a late lunch, the pawns gathered us again. With Brad back from his one-on-one date with Rose, we were all there. A pawn handed a card to someone to read. I think the guy’s name was Carl. I’m horrible with names.
“To accompany me on my first solo date, I, Rose, choose a thorn. Thorin, will you join me tonight?”
Apparently, the very pale dude from the night before was named Thorin, which was going to be hard for me to remember. But considering the number of high fives he was giving, he was someone I should remember.
Ian explained that being chosen for a solo date instead of group date was a big deal. Since he wouldn’t have to compete for her time like we had to for a one-on-one date, he would get more time with her. So, by being chosen for the solo date, Thorin the Pale was now winning the game and he couldn’t be happier.
As I lounged off the last of my magic dust hangover, the night seemed to come quickly. Ian had invited me to come out and be social. I could hear everyone by the pool having fun. But between the night before and the challenge this morning, I had made enough of an impression on everyone.
The one thing that I did want to do was find Brad. I knew that I wasn’t going nuts. Kurt had been real. However, it wou
ldn’t be the worst thing in the world to have someone confirm it.
By the time I dragged myself out of my room, it was dark. The first person I ran into was reclining on a pool chair with his eyes closed. I approached the guy after I recognized him from our challenge. He looked about like how I had felt. Although his face and throat looked fine, I knew that the mental scars didn’t heal as fast.
“Hey… Victor, right?”
Victor opened his eyes long enough to give me a snide look.
“If it isn’t ‘the Kurt-is-dying man,’”
I looked at him, unsure of what he was talking about. If he were to give me a nickname, I would have guessed that it would be, “Ford, the guy who saved his life.”
“What do you want?” he demanded. “Are you looking for me to get down on my knees and thank you for saving me? Because it ain’t gonna happen.”
What the hell?
“No. I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”
“Do I look alright?”
He opened his eyes again to give me the stink eye.
“I’m sorry,” I said confused. “Did I do something to you? … you know, other than save your life?”
“Yep. Here it comes.”
“Here what comes?”
“Look, you can perform for the cameras all you want. But I know what your deal is.”
“You do? Then please explain it to me because I’m shit lost.”
Victor paused and then sourly asked, “What do you want?”
“I was looking for Brad. Do you know which cabin he’s in?”
Victor opened his eyes giving me a once over. “Oh, you’re one of those, are you?”
“One of what?” I asked getting pissed.
Victor rolled over and mumbled, “You’re in my light.”
I looked up at the night sky. Finding nothing but stars, I assumed that that was his way of asking me to go away. That dude was yet another loose nut.
I wandered around the grounds after that. Apart from looking for Brad, I had hoped to run into Ian. I didn’t find either one.
I only saw a couple of people: the guy with the mustache from the night before (Gray?), a round-chested dark-skinned guy, and Buck-Naked Billy, who was still naked. I gave them their space.
I didn’t see Ian again until dinnertime. We ate dinner together at the commissary and then took our desserts and hung out by the pool. Most of the guys had done the same thing. So, when Thorin the Pale returned from his solo date wanting to brag about it, he came to those of us sitting outside.
It didn’t take long before Thorin had a crowd. Mustache Gray was the first to ask for details. Thorin didn’t give many. He was more interested in letting everyone know that Rose was now his “girlfriend,” which made a few of the guys bristle.
Strangely, their reaction wasn’t because he had declared his relationship after only one date. It was because at least two other guys had already done the same thing. I considered declaring her my girlfriend as well to see how many of them I could make cry. But I didn’t.
Shortly after that, Ian and I followed our pawns back to our room. We were being instructed to dress for a cocktail party, to ready ourselves for another elimination. Getting dressed, I kept wondering if I would get a rose. I then wondered if I even cared. But for some reason, I did.
I certainly wasn’t in love with Rose like everyone else seemed to be. In spite of what Victor believed, I didn’t care about having a storyline.
I think it was about fairness. I had jumped onto the back of a thousand-pound bear and saved two people’s lives. I didn’t need a metal for it, and I definitely didn’t want anyone making a big deal about it. However, a simple “Atta boy!” wouldn’t have hurt.
So what would it say about Rose, and humans in general, if, in return for saving two people’s lives, I was eliminated? It would be proof that no justice is left in this world. So yes, I cared whether or not I was eliminated, but that still didn’t change the fact that I had to get out of this place.
As we lined up in front of Rose, I counted the flowers on the tray. Two people weren’t getting a rose. Faced with those odds, I began to second-guess myself. Should I have asked for time alone with her at the cocktail party? Should I have had to, though? Hadn’t I already proven myself worthy to stay, whatever that means?
Do you know that feeling when you are sweating profusely, and you can’t figure out why? Your back is drenched and your forehead’s wet, while everyone else is dry.
Seriously, I’ve had bombs explode around me, yet an 110-pound woman armed with a rose was making me flop sweat. Why?
To no one’s surprise, Brad was the first to get a rose. Mustache Gray, Thorin the Pale, and Victor Vodka followed. Soon, only six roses were left, then four.
I began to worry when there were two roses remaining and Buck-Naked Billy got the second to the last one. The man was wearing socks, black shoes and a necktie around his dangling manhood, yet he had gotten one before me. Talk about a bad sign.
In the end, it was my two roommates and me with only one rose left. I shook waiting for the last name to be called. My heart pounded so hard that my ears rung.
What the hell, man? Why was she taking so long to say the next name? Why? Why?!?
“Ford, would you consider spending the rest of your life with me?” Rose asked.
I practically knocked the guys over racing to her. It was not my finest moment.
“That sucks, man,” I later told Ian. But I was starting to understand how things worked on the show, and I began to see that Ian had brought this on himself.
He hadn’t participated in the challenge. I hadn’t either at first, but I ended up getting into the ring. That’s what you have to do if you want to stick around. And having seen these shows before, Ian had to have known that.
When Pete led me back to my cabin, it felt empty. Lying in bed, I started thinking about Kurt. What had happened to him on the dock? The terrified look in his eyes as he collapsed was genuine. He wasn’t acting. But what had made him fall?
I took a step toward the door, and Pete moved to block me.
“What’s up, Pete? I just wanted to get a little air.”
He didn’t move. Could I have pushed past him? Of course. Did I want to force my way past him? Not if I didn’t have to.
“Pete, where’s the bathroom?” I asked, knowing the basic language of this type of bot.
Pete’s fingertip scanner lit up, asking me to touch it. I did, and he led me to the bathroom. When he attempted to enter behind me, I objected.
“Woah, privacy, man.”
It froze right outside the door as if standing guard. I slipped in and moved fast. On the right were five sinks. On the left were five stalls. Ignoring both, I took a few large steps toward the small screen-less window at the far end of the room.
At near full speed, I jumped up and wrenched my arms in the window. A man of my size wasn’t meant to fit through such a space, but one shoulder at a time, I pried my way out, scaling the outside wall like a spider. With only my legs left, I flung myself forward, landing quietly on the grass.
I paused, waiting for some sort of alarm. Nothing came. While Pete waited on the other side of the building for me, I sprinted through the pools of light toward the surrounding trees.
I didn’t want to be seen heading to the dock this time. Never leaving the shadows, I plotted a course parallel to the path. If you’re careful, you can run through the woods without making a sound, and I was careful. It’s amazing how quickly things come back to you.
Jogging at nearly full speed, the lights from the dock quickly filtered through the trees. I stopped at the edge, taking refuge behind a bush. Peering from behind it, I spotted Ian. He was standing at the end of the dock just as Kurt had.
I looked around for his pawn. I found it at the shoreline, floating motionlessly. As far as I could tell, nothing was unusual about the scene. In fact, Ian looked bored.
Was I being paranoid? Maybe. Okay, probably. In fact
, the longer I stared, the more foolish I felt.
What did I even think I was going to find? We were on a game show, after all. People won money or pretended to find love. This show wasn’t a place where real things happened.
Still crouched at the edge of the trees, I wondered what I was I doing there—not just in the bushes, but on the show. Was I running from real life? Had my break up with Laura affected me more than I had realized? Was that why I had left my job?
I didn’t love working as a corporate recruiter, but it did pay well. Jobs were hard to come by nowadays. Yet, I left that job and ended up here, risking my life for the amusement of others. Sure, fighting a grizzly bear was better than having to wear a tie to work, but not by much.
At that moment, I saw it, out of the corner of my eye. Ian had coughed.
I centered myself and waited for his pawn to react. Kurt hadn’t had a pawn close by. Triage bots had emergency responses built into them. First they evaluated, and then they took the appropriate actions. So, why wasn’t Ian’s pawn moving?
I watched Ian as he dropped to his knees exactly like Kurt had. It killed me not to run in and try to save him. But what could I do differently this time? I was as helpless now as I was before.
But the show, they had to do something, right? They wouldn’t just let a second contestant die. Not with a pawn right there. So, why weren’t they doing anything?
Ian’s head hit the dock with a crack, and I felt the pain. Now, he was choking. He was dying, and I wasn’t doing anything to help.
Ian’s chest lifted and fell in exaggerated breaths. He was slipping away. I wanted desperately to go out there. But what if I interrupted the process? What if this was just a part of the show, and in the end, he was going to be fine? I mean, someone had to be seeing this scene, right?
Ian stopped moving before I could finish the thought. His listless eyes looked at me. I didn’t need to check him. He was dead. I had sat and watched him die. Worse than that, I was sure that the show had killed him.
It wasn’t a coincidence. The people eliminated from the show were all dying. How close had I gotten to being one of them? If Ian was right, I wasn’t even meant to last this long.