“Mark, you just know so much, it’s scary sometimes,” Cassie says. Under the table she digs her fingernails into my thigh. She has told me ten times before that if she has to listen to another Disney fun-fact, she is going to commit suicide with a pair of mouse ears. I kind of know what she means, but at the same time some of the stuff he digs up actually is interesting. I mean, if I didn’t have to watch him touching Ella all the time, I could probably even like the guy.
“So, you’ve looked at old satellite maps of Orlando?” Ella asks him.
He shrugs. “Just the one time. But I just think it’s weird that a Mickey lake was here like a thousand years ago. Makes you think some things really are meant to be, you know?”
I glance at Ella just as she glances at me, and for that moment my heart stops. She blushes and pokes at her salad plate with her fork.
“Are you okay, Ella?” Cassie says.
“I’m fine. I’m glad you picked this place,” she says. “It’s really nice.”
“Well, we picked it,” she says, grabbing my arm. I feel my face heat up and want to remind her that I never heard of this place before tonight, but I don’t. I mean, why bother? Then again, some part of me does want to bother, with all of it—wants to jerk my arm away and take Ella out of there and keep walking; to call my dad and Ben and tell them I won’t be working for them, not next year, maybe not ever; to find some place where Ella feels there is ground under her feet, at least enough to start moving forward again instead of always looking back. Then I think something like that might work in a movie, but I’m just here on a double date with someone I really don’t even like very much, and her hand is on my leg and I am buttering a roll and later we will kiss. And tomorrow I will have to show up for work, Cassie will still be my girlfriend, Ella will still be with Mark and think of me as only her pal, and somehow the sameness of one moment will keep turning into the sameness of the next. And I never know how to make it stop.
Mark isn’t quite finished, and for once I’m grateful. The whole dinner I keep trying not to sneak looks at Ella, but I can’t help myself, and then Cassie notices and climbs a little farther into my lap, and Ella just looks sad. I don’t know which is worse. Right now, Mark is a welcome distraction. He tells us about all the Hidden Mickeys in the park, including one made from stalagmites on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, or the watermark on every receipt printed in the park. He has memorized about two hundred, he tells us, though there are hundreds more.
“And get this,” he says, slicing the last of his prime rib, “Disney is actually a town, separate from Orlando. I just found this out yesterday. Those security guards are real cops. I mean, there are cast members who act as the city council, and another cast member who serves as mayor.”
“Is it you?” I say, and the others laugh, including Mark.
“You see what this means?” he says. “It really is a real place. And the cool part, so that they can actually establish a government, someone has to live here, in the park. I mean, people have their regular houses here, do their laundry, put their kids on the bus. How cool is that?”
Ella looks at me. “Well, that explains Bernard,” she says.
“I guess,” I tell her. “He’s just a tool of corporate government. He had that look about him.”
She laughs. “Actually, maybe he’s the mayor.”
“Who took my job?” Mark says, and laughs.
“What are you talking about?” Cassie says suddenly. “Who is Bernard?” Her face is flushed.
“That phantom guy. I told you about all of that. J. Worthington Foulfellow? We went to his place for a visit.” I finish my meal but only vaguely remember eating it.
She turns to Ella. “And you went? I didn’t know about that. Luke just said some of the guys went.”
“I said some people went,” I tell her. “Next time I’ll give you a full report, okay?”
“Well, it’s not that,” she says, turning her full smile back on. “It’s just that I might like to get invited next time. And I would think Ella would be scared of something like that. I mean, he sounds creepy, you know?”
“Interesting he wants to be that character,” Mark says. “He could move up if he wanted.”
“I wasn’t scared, and he wasn’t creepy,” Ella says, looking at Cassie. “I liked him quite a bit.”
“And I like that about you,” Cassie says, using her best honey-coated voice. “Nothing gets to you. Even when I see you walking around here all sad, you bounce right back. I mean, you are just unapproachable somehow, let nothing in. I so much admire that. Me? I’m too emotional.”
Ella just looks at her a full five seconds. And then she starts laughing. Trying to hold it in, hand to her mouth, but she is laughing, and I start laughing a little bit just because she is, and there are tears forming in her eyes. Mark raises his hand and asks the waiter for the check.
“What did I say that’s so funny?” Cassie says.
Ella drinks her water, dabs her eyes with her napkin. “You invented a new part of speech,” she says. “The complimentary insult. I call it the complisult. Like it?”
“Hey, Ella,” I say. “I have never seen hair quite like that.”
“That’s what I’m talking about,” she says. “And Luke, you know, knowing you has taught me that determination is more important than brains.”
“I didn’t mean—” Cassie starts to say.
“Yes, you did,” Ella says, “but really, it’s okay. I promise. Mark, let’s hear yours.”
He thinks for a minute, blushing. “I’m sure,” he finally says, “that I will never eat another meal like this one.”
“Man, good one,” Ella says.
“And hey, Mark?” I say. “It’s great the way you play Prince Charming so he appeals to people of all sexual orientations.”
Mark lets that one sink in before deciding it’s okay to laugh. Ella dabs at her eyes a little bit. “You know,” Mark says, “I love your jacket. Is that real polyester?”
By now Ella can’t stop laughing, and some of the people at other tables are starting to look over at us. Cassie smiles, but the smile looks like it was forged from ice and piano wire.
“Well,” she says, “you guys are crazy. How about if we get out of here?”
And so we do, walking out into the warm Florida night, with the breeze stirring paper cups and discarded napkins along the walk. I’m ready to just bail on this, cut our losses, but I guess Cassie isn’t done. It’s like she won’t be done until she wins, though I’m not sure what it is she’s trying to win. All I know is, I’m tired.
“I know,” she says, “let’s head over to downtown and shop, just look in the windows or something. Maybe Ella and I will model something for you boys, if you’re lucky.” She winks at Mark and he blushes, then she squeezes my arm, pulling it against her breast, and part of me just wants to tell her to stop, to quit trying so hard. But I’m beginning to think she never will, not in her whole life.
We walk through the candy stores and Ella and I get the big box of Junior Mints while Mark goes for the Kit Kat, and Cassie says that chocolate goes straight to her hips.
“It really hardly shows on you,” she says to Ella.
Ella nods. “All right,” she says. “Good one, Cass.”
Cassie narrows her eyes for a moment before flipping her hair and turning away.
From there we head through the Cirque du Soleil store, looking at the paintings, and then to the Mickey’s Mart—Everything Ten Dollars and Under store, which is Disney’s jacked-up version of a dollar store and has a little bit of everything.
“This place is crap,” Cassie says. “Let’s go to the World of Disney Store.”
“We pretty much are the Disney Store,” I tell her. “I like this place.”
“I do, too,” Ella says. Cassie starts muttering, actually muttering to herself, under her breath, like someone in a movie. I ought to feel bad, but why? I’m having too much fun. Even Mark seems pretty cool.
“
We should get a souvenir,” he says. “I mean, to remember tonight.”
“Yes, Mark. We will want to remember tonight forever.” I look at Ella while Cassie sulks, and she smiles at me, winks. I love that moment so much, all the sadness gone from her, that I think I already have my souvenir. We look around for a bit and can’t really decide.
“Because this stuff is crap,” Cassie says. “Tourist crap.” She sits in a little kid’s Mickey chair.
“Man,” I say, “crappy souvenirs in a theme park. Frankly, I’m shocked.”
“I just can’t decide,” Ella says.
“I have an idea,” I say. I call over one of the assistant managers, this girl who’s maybe five years older than we are. She’s funny looking, in a good way, with about a billion freckles and this kinky reddish hair and tiny blue frames for her glasses. Her name tag says MANDY. She’s wearing a smiley-face button and a Mickey button, and she has drawn mustaches on both with a Sharpie.
“Pool your money,” I tell the others. “Cough it up.”
“Why?” Cassie says.
“That’s a secret,” I say.
“Then you aren’t getting my money.”
I nod and turn to Mark, who says he only brought a credit card, and then Ella, who gives me ten bucks. I put in ten of my own and hand it to Mandy.
“Okay, Mandy,” I tell her. “We are buying a surprise gift. Can you help us?”
She shrugs. “Sure thang,” she says. “Who is the surprise for?”
“For us,” I tell her. “Take the money, take a good look at us, and buy something that you know, you know, we will like. Buy it, box it up, and don’t let us see it, okay?”
She smiles, then spends a long time sizing us up, looking us over before nodding and heading off.
“That’s pretty cool,” Mark says. “Buy yourself a surprise gift.”
“Pretty stupid, you mean, right?” Cassie says, still sitting in the chair. She looks tired, too, both of us tired. “She’s going to buy you a five-buck gift, box it up, and pocket the rest.”
“No,” I say, looking not at her but at Ella, who is looking right back at me. “She’s going to give us exactly what we want.”
15
Ella
“Where do you want to go?” Luke keeps watching me with this half grin on his face.
I pull my feet up on the bench. “To the moon?”
“Okay, ding-dong. Somewhere in the park.”
“Ding-dong? We’re at the name-calling phase of our relationship?”
“Ella, we need to focus here.” Luke slides his hands into the pockets of his jeans and rocks on the balls of his feet. The same grin. The same light that keeps flickering across his eyes. “Where in the park do you want to go?”
“Anywhere?” I tilt my head and look up at the handful of stars that can shine through the light of the park.
“Anywhere.”
“I want to see the inside of the castle.” I smile back at him, knowing it’s an impossible task. No one goes inside the castle. Not even the security guards.
“Done,” Luke says, raising his eyebrow. I hear a jingle in his pocket. “Close your eyes. I want to show you something.” I close my eyes and wait. I hear the jingle again, louder as he pulls his hand free of his pocket. “Okay,” he says. “Open them.”
“You want to show me your keys?” I look at the ring of maybe fifty keys dangling from his hand. “It does take a real man to pull off a Tinker Bell key chain.”
“Okay, ding-dong. These are not my keys.”
“Again with the ding-dong.”
Luke fishes in his pocket again and pulls out a folded piece of paper. “These are Bernard’s keys. And this,” he says, passing me the paper, “is a list that tells you what key we need to go anywhere in the park.”
“Where did he get all those?” I ask, reaching out to brush my fingers against the keys hanging lowest on the chain.
“He just told me that thirty years on the force has its benefits.”
“The Force. That must have resonated with you, young Jedi.”
Luke sighs and rolls his eyes. “You’re never going to stop, are you?”
“Of course,” I say, unfolding the paper and scanning down the list. I look back up at Luke and smile. “Like maybe when we’re seventy.”
“No you won’t,” he says. “We’ll be sitting out on the front porch on our rockers, half deaf, complaining about our rheumatism, and you’ll still be cracking Star Wars jokes.”
I lower my voice as low as it can go and breathe slowly and heavily. “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” I start laughing before I can even finish.
“How do you know all this stuff?” Luke asks, squinting at me. “I mean, I get the obvious ones, but that’s pretty obscure Darth Vader.”
“Ash was a real Star Wars freak.” It’s the second time in a long time that I’ve said his name out loud. Both times to Luke. And when I’m talking to him, it feels okay. It feels just right, like this is exactly where I’m supposed to be. Doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. “How about you? You must know tons of stuff.”
“Not me,” he says, jangling the keys. “I think on a much higher plane than that. I spend my time asking life’s bigger questions.”
“Like, who ate the last brownie?”
“That was one time.” He smiles at me and reaches for my free hand. “Come on, Princess. We have a castle to check out.” We walk in silence for a few minutes, his fingers woven into mine. I’m almost afraid to breathe. Afraid to break the bubble around us. Afraid if I do, he’ll let go of my hand. Luke looks over at me and smiles. “Wonderful girl. Either I’m going to kill her or I’m beginning to like her.” This time we both laugh, and underneath it all I can feel his fingers tighten around mine, trapping each one with his. He’s inside the bubble, too, and both of us are holding our breath.
It was weird ending the date, if you could even call it that. It was more like three friends going out to eat and shopping, and taking along their very beautiful and very angry pit bull. Even before we could all get through the doorway into the dorm, Cassie had said good night and was climbing the stairs to the second floor.
“I think that went well,” Mark said, smiling at us.
“Sarcasm?” Luke said, running his fingers through his hair. “This is a weird night.”
“So are you going to look in the box?” Mark asked, pointing to the cardboard shoe box tucked under Luke’s arm.
“Should we?” Luke asked. He looked at me, and I shook my head.
“Let’s wait until tomorrow. Get a little space between tonight and the surprise.” What I didn’t say is that I wanted to open it when it was just Luke and me.
“Good idea,” Luke said, lifting the box up to his ear and shaking it slightly.
“No fair peeking.” I pushed his shoulder, then noticed Mark looking at us, watching us; but when he saw me looking at him, he just smiled.
“You going up?” I asked Mark. He nodded at me and turned toward the stairs.
“I’m going to stay up for a while,” Luke said, turning toward the TV room. He looked back at me once before disappearing around the corner.
“Hey,” I said, catching up with Mark on the stairs. “Thank you. It was fun.” I reached out and briefly touched the collar of his shirt, sliding the soft fabric through my fingers.
“It was, wasn’t it?” he asked, putting his hand over mine. “Ella, it’s okay, you know.” He squeezed my hand with his.
“What is?” I tilted my head at him, watching. He leaned back against the wall and smiled at me.
“You aren’t going to make this easy on me, are you?” I shifted a bit and leaned against the wall straight across from him and looked down at my feet. “Ella, anyone can see it. I mean, everyone can see it.”
“Luke . . .” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. We stayed like that for a few moments, listening to the noises spilling down on us from the floors above. A series of thuds followed by a door slamming, and
then footsteps coming down the stairs.
“You two should be together,” Mark said softly. The footsteps stopped a couple of stairs up from where I was standing. Around the corner and out of my sight. “Hey,” Mark said to the person standing there.
“Am I interrupting anything?” Robin Hood asked, jumping down the remaining steps and landing with a thud next to where Mark was standing.
“Just talking,” I said, still staring at my feet.
“You okay, Princess?” Robin Hood asked. I just nodded without looking up at him.
“I was just telling her that sometimes the prince and princess don’t live happily ever after. At least not together,” Mark said. I looked up at him, but he was still smiling.
“You’re dumping her?” Robin Hood asked.
“I’m right here,” I said.
“Not exactly,” Mark said, shifting so that he was looking more at Robin Hood than at me.
“She’s dumping you? Man, bitches. You can’t live with them—”
“I’m still right here,” I said. “No one is dumping anyone.”
“I was just telling her that maybe she needs to rethink her fairy tale,” Mark said.
“Maybe get a little chipmunk action,” Robin Hood said. He laughed, and Mark and I looked up at him. “What?” Robin Hood said. “You know it’s true. I just gave your room-mate her laundry payment. Looks like Prince Charming beat me to it with you.”
“How’s that?” I asked. He just rolled his eyes at me and jabbed Mark in the shoulder.
“Come on, Prince. What do you say to a couple beers to chase away the heartache?”
“Sure,” Mark said. “Just give me a minute.”
Robin Hood pushed past us and down the stairs. We listened as the heavy sounds of his footsteps grew fainter. Then his voice from downstairs: “Luke, my man. We were just talking about you.”
Mark shook his head and smiled at me.
“It really is okay, Ella.” He touched my cheek with the tips of his fingers. “The thing about fairy tales is, they’re only as real as you make them.” He smiled again, shrugged. “I think I will have a beer. Maybe two.”
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