by Kaylee Ryan
Rhett cuts him off. “Will be with me.” He leaves no room for argument, not that he was going to get one. His grandfather seems pleased by his declaration.
“All right, kids. Get some rest. I’ll see you all in the morning.”
“We’re going to bed,” Jake says, pulling Molly into him and kissing the top of her head.
“Let me give you some clothes,” I tell Molly. I dig through the bag and pull out some pajamas, yoga pants, and a sweater, and hand them to her. She turns to head up the stairs, and I stop her. “Molly.”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for trusting me, for offering me a place to stay, a job, for being my friend. You’ve given me more than you will ever know.”
“That’s what family does, Saylor.” She smiles.
“Ready, babe?” Jake asks.
She holds up the clothes to show him. “Yeah, night, guys,” she says, heading Jake up the opposite stairs from Rhett and me.
Rhett holds his hand out for me, and I take it. Silently, he leads us up to his room. Once inside, he shuts the door. I drop my bag on a chair in the corner of the room. “Come here, baby.” I walk to where he’s standing beside the bed. As soon as I’m close enough, he snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me into his chest. “I was so fucking scared, Saylor. Life without you isn’t something I want to experience.”
“Hold me?” I ask quietly. Tonight has been emotionally draining with the fire, Pete, and Rhett telling me he loves me.
“Always,” he says, kissing my temple and releasing me. “Get changed, you need a shower or anything?”
“No, just you.”
He kisses my temple one more time before releasing me and going to his dresser pulling out a pair of pajama pants. He turns to look at me and shakes his head, wearing a small grin. I’m not ashamed to be busted watching him. It’s my favorite pastime. “You gonna change?” he asks. That spurs me into action. Grabbing my bag, I dig out some flannel pajama pants and one of his T-shirts that he left at the house. “That’s where that went,” he says when I join him in bed.
“You left it.”
“It looks better on you than it does on me,” he says, holding his arms open for me.
I snuggle into his side. “It’s too big.” I chuckle.
“But it’s mine, and you’re in it. It’s perfect. I look good on you.”
We’re both quiet for a while, and my thoughts are spinning. I keep hearing him tell me he loves me over and over in my head.
“Night, baby. I—” I cut him off.
“I’ve never said it. Not really. I told Elaine the day of her funeral, but she was gone. I never told her while she was living. She gave me my life, an opportunity to make something of myself, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell her.”
“I love you, Saylor. Not because I want you to say it back. I love you for who you are, the strong, incredible woman who has turned my life upside down. I love you for what’s in here.” He places his hand over my heart.
“I’d never heard those words, not that I can ever remember, until I moved in with Elaine. I had been there about six months. It was Christmas morning, and I caught her crying by the tree. She missed her husband. I sat with her while she cried, and she told me she loved me, that I brought joy back to her life and gave her a reason. I didn’t tell her back. After that day, she told me all the time, ‘love you kid,’ ‘love you, Say,’ ‘be safe, love you,’ and the list goes on. Not once did I tell her back. I was ‘me too,’ ‘ditto,’ ‘same,’ anything but the words.”
“She knew. She didn’t need the words, and neither do I.”
“I realized something tonight when I was talking to Pete.”
“Oh yeah?” he asks, his voice low as he runs his fingers through my hair.
“My whole life I’ve worried about losing those I get close to. It’s a constant in my life, the worry. Then I met Jake and Molly, and I had no choice but to let them in. They offered their love and support, their friendship, freely, just like Elaine. I’ve never had that with anyone else. Then I met you.” I pause, trying to collect my thoughts. “Tonight I realized that I would rather have five minutes with you than to have never had you at all. You make me stronger, and I’ve never felt the way you make me feel.”
“How do I make you feel?” he whispers.
“Special, wanted, loved… ” I lift up on my elbows, resting my chin on his chest. His eyes never leave mine as he hangs on every word. His whiskey-colored eyes show me exactly how he feels. I see love shining back at me. Promises full of commitment and honor. “I love you, Rhett Baxter,” I say, my voice is strong and clear, not one ounce of hesitation or fear.
“Baby.” He pulls me on top of him and cups my face in his hands. “You make me a better man. You make me stronger. You make me special by letting me near you. I want you in my life, and I promise I’ll love you forever.”
When his lips touch mine, I feel whole. For the first time in my life, I know where I am is where I’m supposed to be. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I know I’m excited to find out.
My parents flew out this morning. It was great to spend time with them. It was even better to see how well they get along with Saylor; Dad is just as smitten as Gramps and me. Mom is beside herself having another girl around. She made sure to pull me aside and tell me so before they left. She gushed about how sweet she is, even more so than the first time they met, and how happy she is for us. I felt a swell of pride hearing her say that. The first time they met, Saylor was still timid, not letting people get close. This time her walls were down and she was open to them, charming them just like she did me—does me, every damn day.
Even though Dad had said he expected it, I was still leery of telling them that I wasn’t coming back to the brewery. They took it rather well, and we even talked about the potential of merging the two corporations. “It’s all going to be yours one day, regardless,” Dad had said. Gramps even seemed open to the idea when we ran it past him. Everything seems to be falling into place.
Things are even looking up for Jake and Molly. They got the news today that they can start cleaning up the house and start the repairs. Apparently, the damage was minimal, so repairs shouldn’t take that long. Cleanup is the worst of it. Saylor texted me earlier, telling me that’s where she would be when I got home tonight. It’s Monday, and with the new winter hours, the Corner Pocket is closed, which works out, giving them the chance to get started right away. Once I got her message, I wrapped up what I needed to at the office and headed home. I jog up the steps to say hi to Gramps before I change clothes and head over to help with cleanup. I hear his voice coming from his office, so I slow. I’m just about to knock when I hear him talking about me.
“You let me deal with my grandson. My plan is working flawlessly. He’s falling for her and her him. We might not need this divorce after all,” he says.
What the fuck is he talking about?
“How much longer can you stall? I’d say a few weeks and they won’t care whether it goes through or not. I’ll just tell them there’s a delay with the county filing the papers. It’ll work, trust me,” he tells whoever it is he’s talking to. My guess is his attorney.
Anger floods through my veins. He’s been lying to us. What I don’t understand is why. Why would he go through so much trouble to keep us married? In fact, I expected the opposite. I expected screaming and yelling that I didn’t have a prenup.
When I hear him hang up the phone, I step into the doorway. “Mind telling me what the hell that was about?” I ask him, trying hard to keep my anger in check.
“Rhett, I didn’t realize you were home.”
“I gathered that. Talk. Now,” I say, stepping into the room and bracing my hands on the back of the chair that sits in front of his desk. I’m barely containing my anger.
“I was just trying to help,” he says. “I knew you liked her.”
“I more than like her. I love her. That doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been
lying to us.”
“Not exactly lying, maybe just delaying things a little. The papers you signed were legit. I just advised Frank to stall on filing them.”
“Why in the hell would you do that?”
“I’ve seen the way the two of you look at each other. I could see it was more than you were willing to admit. I just gave you the chance to stay together a little longer.”
“Bullshit. Of course it was more. I fucking love her, Gramps. Not just a crush or a quick fuck.” He cringes. “I love her with everything in me. Hell fucking yes, I want to marry her. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life by her side, but I want to give her the choice to do so, preferably while she’s sober.”
“You’re already married. I don’t see—” I cut him off.
“Because we want a divorce. We decide our future, and being married is not what we want!” I scream at him. Taking a few deep breaths, I gain my composure. “Look,” I say, this time keeping my voice calm. “I want to give her the world. I want her to know that she has the choice. Her parents were taken from her, and she was moved from home to home without a choice. When Elaine fostered her, again it was a good home, but it wasn’t her choice. I want her to have the option to choose me, to choose if we get married and where and when. I want to give her everything.”
He nods. “I’m sorry. I just wanted you to be happy, and selfishly, I was hoping you would want to stay.”
“I talked to you about that, you knew what I wanted.”
“Not until last week. I’m a lonely old man who misses his grandson. I had hopes of bringing Saylor into our family and showering her with love and giving her the family she’s always wanted.”
“I want that too, Gramps, more than anything, but I want her to choose that.”
“I shouldn’t have meddled. I’m sorry. I’ll call Frank back and tell him to move forward with the divorce.”
“Thank you. I love you, old man.”
“Love you too.”
I point to the phone, and he laughs. I wait until he’s on the phone and hear him tell Frank to move forward. Once he ends the call, I nod my approval and rush to my room. I need to change and get over to Jake’s and help them clean up. Then take my girl out to dinner before getting lost in her in our bed. I’ll never be able to think of it as anything but ours after the last couple of nights. Saylor changed me, changed my life, and I want to do that for her. I want her to feel strong, loved, and wanted, just like she said. That’s now my mission in life. That and marrying her for love, and making our own family. I rush out the door with a smile on my face, needing to see her.
I can’t believe I spilled the mop water all over me. I blame Jake. He was dancing with the broom. He had me laughing so hard I was crying and didn’t see the bucket. I stepped into it and it sloshed all over me, soaking not only my clothes but my shoes. That’s why I’m back at Grandpa Rhett’s. My other pair of snow boots are in Rhett’s room. We went down to the pond yesterday, and I wore them then. I had tennis shoes on today, and I refuse to ruin another pair.
Deciding I need to say hi to Grandpa Rhett and let him know I’m here, I head up the stairs. I freeze when I hear yelling.
“Because we want a divorce. We decide our future, and being married is not what we want!”
My heart stalls in my chest. Rhett’s screaming at his grandfather about not wanting to be married to me. I haven’t thought much about the divorce the last several weeks. We’re both still wearing our rings, and it feels… real. From the anger in his voice, I know that feeling is one sided. I know he loves me, you can’t fake that kind of affection. His eyes tell me what his heart can’t. It still hits me like a dagger hearing him so livid about us still being married. Placing my hand over my mouth to silence my sobs, I rush back downstairs and up the other side to Rhett’s room. I grab my boots and dash out the door. I need to get myself together before seeing him. I didn’t know he was going to come home early, and he wasn’t expecting me to be there.
Wrong place. Wrong time.
I let the tears fall freely. I knew we were getting divorced; I signed the damn papers. I just didn’t expect him to be so adamant about it after all that we’ve shared, especially to yell at his grandfather like that. When I pull onto our road, I grab a napkin from the glove box and dry my face. I pull up in front of the garage and dash up to my apartment. It’s freezing-ass cold, and the water is turned off so the pipes don’t freeze. Taking a seat on the couch, I switch out my shoes and focus on getting my emotions in check. He didn’t do anything wrong, but the pain is there. The thought that his idea of forever and mine differ is what’s breaking my heart.
My cell phone rings, and it’s him. I hit the side button to silence the ringer and stare at his picture as his name flashes across the screen. It stops and then starts again. I repeat the process of silencing the ringer. It doesn’t ring a third time, causing me to heave a sigh of relief. I have to talk to him sooner or later and tell him what I heard. I just need time to work through my grief for what our future might be, could be. Regardless, I want him in my life. I don’t need marriage if I have him. It’s my fault for letting his words lead my tattered heart down the path of fairy tales and happily ever after. We can create our own kind of fairy tale.
“Saylor!” I hear him yell my name just before he pushes open the door. “Hey, I called you.”
“I know,” I tell him. I don’t play games, and I’ll never lie to him.
“Why didn’t you answer?” he asks, taking a seat next to me on the couch. He cups my face in his hands, and I know the minute he feels my wet cheeks. It’s dark enough in here, I’m sure he can’t see them. “Have you been crying? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” he fires off questions.
“Yes, can we talk about it later? No, I’m not hurt.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. What are you doing here?” I ask, changing the subject. I’m avoiding, but I just need the tears to not be so fresh before we dig into this. I’ll tell him tonight what I overheard.
“I came to help, but I stopped at the house first. You’ll never guess what I stumbled in on,” he says. “Come here, I need to hold you.” He sits back on the couch and pulls me into his side. “I was going to say hi to Gramps before changing and heard him on the phone in his office. He was talking to Frank, the attorney. I heard him tell him to stall the divorce a little longer and that he would handle blowing us off.” He laughs humorlessly.
So much for waiting until later to talk about it. Looks like it’s happening now. “What happened?” I ask, wanting to know more before I tell him that I heard part of the conversation. Well, not really, just what he yelled at his grandfather.
“As soon as he hung up, I stormed in his office and demanded answers. He claimed that he could see we liked each other and that he was just giving us a chance to stay together. Then he admitted he was lonely was hoping that me being tied to you would convince me to stay here.”
“That’s awful,” I say. My heart aches for Grandpa Rhett.
“I made him call Frank and tell him to move forward with the processing.”
I can’t stop the sob that breaks from my chest. He holds me tighter and kisses the top of my head.
“Saylor, babe, you’re killing me here. What’s going on?”
“I-I heard you,” I say through my tears.
“What did you hear, baby?” he asks sweetly.
“I spilled water on me, my shoes were soaked, and my boots were in your room,” I explain. “I heard you yelling. You said we wanted a divorce and being married isn’t what we want.”
“Babe, we decided together to do this. Have you changed your mind?”
“Have you?” I counter. “You said forever, and I thought that meant—” My voice breaks again.
“Saylor,” he says softly.
“I mean, if you have, it’s okay,” I say, sitting up and wiping my cheeks with the backs of my hands. “I love you, and I’ll take you however I can get you,” I tell him honestly
. I probably shouldn’t let him off the hook like that, but it’s true. “We can just do us, you know. We can make it whatever it is you want.”
“Saylor,” he says, causing me to turn my head and look at him. “I love you. Not because we got married in Vegas under the influence of alcohol, not because it’s convenient for me, not because I feel obligated. I love you because of who you are and how I feel when I’m with you. You didn’t hear the entire conversation, baby.”
“No?” I ask hopeful.
“No.” He stands and sits in front of me on the coffee table, resting his hands on my knees. “You didn’t hear me tell him that I want to give you the world. You didn’t hear me tell him that you’ve had enough of your choices taken from you in your lifetime, and I want you to have that option. You get to choose to marry me. I want to get down on one knee and ask you to be my wife the right way. Then you have the choice,” he says again. Reaching up, he cradles my face in the palm of his hands. “You didn’t hear me tell him that I want to give you everything.”
“Everything?” I ask, trying to process what he’s just said.
“Baby, it’s freezing-ass cold in here,” he says when he sees me shiver. “Let’s go to the truck, or the main house with the kerosene heater, or back to Gramps’s. Let me get you out of the cold, and we can finish this.”
“Okay.” I agree because I feel like my toes and fingers are going to fall off from the cold.
“I want to help Jake and Molly. I told them that I would. They’ve been so good to me,” I say.
“Then that’s what we’ll do. I just need to hear you say that you understand what you mean to me first. I need to hear that we’re okay.”
I stand and step in between his legs where he sits on the table. “We’re okay.”
“I love you. When we get home, we’re going to talk about this until you understand the depth of that. Gramps also needs to confess to you what he did. If I had any idea that you were there, I would have called you in there with me. No secrets. I promised you that I would always be honest with you.”