by Banks, R. R.
The scream, high and shrill, erupts from my throat as I round the corner and find myself face to face with him. The shot of adrenaline is so strong, it feels like my heart is going to burst inside of my chest and it takes a minute for my spinning head and suddenly blurry vision to clear.
And when it does, the fear that had pierced my heart is replaced by a shot of absolute fury.
“You asshole!”
A cocky grin crosses his face that just serves to throw a massive can of gasoline onto the bonfire of my rage. I reach back and smack him across the face, the sharp crack of my palm meeting his cheek echoing loudly around the parking structure. My hand is stinging from the force of the blow, but Knox just stands there, large, toned arms folded over his thick, sculpted chest, laughing like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever seen.
“You are a son of a bitch!” I roar.
He shrugs his broad shoulders. “I’ve been called worse,” he tells me. “And most of it’s probably true.”
My breathing is still ragged, and I’m trembling as the tide of adrenaline washing ashore inside of me starts to ebb. He actually seems proud of himself for scaring me – for being an absolute prick. Proud of himself!
“What in the hell do you want, Knox?”
His laughter finally tapers off, but that smug smirk on his lips remains. “Just to prove a point.”
Resisting the urge to slap him again, I put my hands on my hips and try to will myself to be calm – ‘try’ being the operative word here. Those clear blue eyes of his lock onto mine, nearly stealing the breath from my throat and making my heart stutter in a way that isn’t fueled by fear.
“And what point is it you’re trying to prove?” I grumble. “Please, enlighten me.”
“That things can happen in the blink of an eye. And that bad shit can happen when you least expect it,” he explains. “If I’d been your stalker, you would be in a whole world of shit right now, Felicity.”
He’s a smug and arrogant ass, but he surprises me. Rather than sounding like a condescending jerk, he actually sounds – concerned. It’s almost as if he’s trying to prove his point not to rub my face in it but simply because he’s worried about me.
If he wasn’t such an asshole, I might actually be moved by it.
“Listen, I appreciate your concern, but I’m pretty sure this whole thing has been overblown,” I admit. “I may have overreacted to the situation. I don’t think it’s as serious as my brother is making it out to be – as I may have made him think.”
He shifts on his feet, his eyes boring into mine in silence for a long moment. “I’m not so sure, Felicity,” he finally says. “I have some experience with guys like this and –”
“I seem to recall somebody telling you I didn’t need your help,” I growl. “Oh yeah, that was me. I’m pretty sure I told you I don’t need your goddamn help. Do you have some kind of an issue with your hearing?”
Knox leans against the pillar and slips his hands into his pockets, affecting an air of cool indifference. But then, maybe it’s not just an affectation. He’s a smug, arrogant jerk who does seem the type to think he’s above it all – that he’s better than everybody.
He’s exactly the kind of guy I despise. My brother is such a down to earth guy, I have no idea how he got hooked up with a guy like Knox. They’re like polar opposites. Knox, unlike my brother, is anything but the salt of the earth. For somebody who’s nothing but a meathead bodyguard, he seems to think a hell of a lot of himself. The guy is obviously his own biggest fan. He walks around like he owns the world or something.
“Listen, I’m not saying this guy is going to come at you with a chainsaw, or want to collect your skin, or anything like that,” he goes on like I haven’t shot him down a dozen times already. “But he’s going to come at you again. He’s not going to stop until he’s forced to stop.”
“Oh, you’re psychic, are you?”
He shrugs. “In my line of work, you have to develop a kind of sixth sense. You have to know what these creeps are going to do before they do,” he continues. “That’s the only way you can effectively protect somebody – by anticipating their next move.”
The way he prattles on is so dramatic when I’m not even sure there’s anything to be really all that worried about. The guy hasn’t come at me with a knife or anything. He’s stood in the background just looking at me. And yeah, him showing up outside my coffee house was unsettling, but again, all he did was stare at me.
“Maybe he’s just a guy with a crush who’s trying to figure out how to say hello,” I offer.
“Or maybe he’s trying to work up the nut to make a Felicity skin suit.”
“Oh, very nice. That’s charming.”
He flashes me a roguish grin. “I’ve been told I’ve got a boyish charm about me.”
I roll my eyes and shake my head. “Whatever gets you through the night.”
Knox is annoying me – not to mention scaring me a bit – and I know I should walk away. I should walk away, get into my car, drive home and have a glass of wine. Every last fiber of my being is screaming at me, shouting for me to walk away. No, to run away.
And yet, I can’t seem to move. I can’t pull myself away. It’s like my survival instincts have somehow withered and died in the time it’s taken to have this conversation with Knox. I can’t help myself. I’m drawn to him. Compelled by him. There is something about this man – this man with the dangerous, hard edge I know I should avoid – that keeps me rooted to my spot.
It’s not his muscles. Not his hard, toned body, or his rugged good looks. I decide it’s those brilliant blue eyes that keep me pinned right where I am like – like a butterfly pinned to a piece of cardboard inside a shadowbox.
“Listen, your brother –”
“My brother means well,” I interrupt him. “And he can be overprotective of me. Hence, your presence.”
“Your brother loves you, is concerned about this guy, and wants to keep you safe,” he blathers on. “Hence, my presence.”
I let out a long breath. “Okay well, this has been a load of fun, but I need to get going,” I announce. “Things to do, people to see, and all that.”
I have every intention of pushing my way past Man Mountain here and heading for my car, but I can’t seem to get my feet working. It’s as if I’m suffering from some sort of paralysis or something. Knox just leans against the pillar, hands still in his pockets, cool as the proverbial cucumber, that ridiculously smug smile still on his face.
“Okay, so go then,” he says.
Once again, I will myself to move. And once again, my body rebels. What in the hell is going on with me? All I can do is stand there and gape at this man standing before me. A man I’m totally and utterly repulsed by. And yet, strangely drawn to at the same time.
No. I’m not going to do it. I’m going to push all of these thoughts out of my head, march off, get into my car and go the hell home. That’s exactly what I am going to do. I look up at him, doing my best to keep my face entirely neutral and clear of any sort of expression that might give him the slightest hint I find him attractive. That would only encourage this smugger-than-hell cretin.
“Unless of course, there’s another reason you want to stick around?” he flashes me a seductive grin.
Clearly, I failed to keep my face passive as the low rumble of his voice reverberates through my entire body. His voice is slick, smooth, and totally greasy – and yet, I still feel my panties growing moist. I hate the fact that my body is betraying me by flooding me with these physical, carnal reactions.
Oh, how I despise this man.
Mustering all of my strength of will, I force myself to move. To put one foot in front of the other and start to walk toward my car. I sneer as I pass him by, which only deepens the amused smirk on his face. It’s as if he knows what it’s taking me to walk away from him.
“Well, see you again soon,” he calls after me.
“No, you won’t,” I respond without turning around.
“Not ever. That’s a promise.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“Don’t worry, I never do.”
With every step I take, opening the distance between us, it gets easier to move. It’s as if the spell he cast over me fades with each step. By the time I make it back to my car, I feel more like myself again.
As I slip behind the wheel, I look back and see that Knox is still standing there, leaning against the pillar, just as I’d left him. And of course, he’s still wearing that smug smirk on his face, which irritates me to no end.
I start my car and back out of the spot, the anger and embarrassment within me like twin needles lancing my heart. Putting the car in gear again, I give him a saccharine-sweet smile and then give him the finger as I pull away. In my rearview mirror, I can see him practically doubled over with laughter. And for no reason whatsoever, I feel the heat flaring in my cheeks. Even without staring him in the face, the man has the power to embarrass me.
God, I loathe that man.
Knox
“So, what happened to you being like a ninja.”
“Yeah, didn’t quite work out the way we wanted,” I reply.
I’m sitting in one of the plush wingbacks across from Peter’s desk, my hands folded in my lap. After what happened at the book signing, Felicity called and read him the riot act. And of course, given the fact that shit rolls downhill, it necessitated him calling me shortly after she’d torn him a new one to give me an earful before he asked me to meet with him this morning.
Peter’s pissed but is managing to keep his cool – it’s the therapist in him coming out. The professional he is, always makes Peter maintain his composure and his emotions neutral. Even when he’s pissed off.
“She was furious,” he tells me. “Said you ruined her event.”
“I think that’s a little overdramatic,” I counter. “I like to think it added to the ambiance.”
Peter tries but can’t keep himself from chuckling. He leans back in his seat and looks at me as he drums his fingers on the arms of his chair. Silence descends over us for a moment, and my mind wanders to Felicity – exactly where it shouldn’t be wandering. I can’t help it, though. She’s a gorgeous woman. I wasn’t quite prepared for how good-looking she is – or the effect she has on me.
I’ve had to remind myself to keep my mind off Peter’s sister umpteen-thousand times from the moment I laid eyes on her last night. But that is something that’s easier said than done, I’m afraid.
Felicity has eyes that sparkle like polished jade, strawberry blonde hair that falls just below her shoulders, full breasts, and curves for days. She’s probably around five-four or so, with smooth, creamy, pale skin, and a smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. Felicity’s got that girl-next-door appeal down cold but has a temper, a quick wit, and a wicked streak inside of her. And she throws off attitude like it’s going out of style.
So yeah, the woman is basically like catnip to me.
Although she’s sexy as hell and that draws me to her, it’s the strength and intelligence I see in her that I find so intriguing. I’ve always liked smart women – women who can challenge and push me intellectually. But most of the women I’ve met over the last several years or so have been the polar opposite of that. Most of them put themselves in my path with an agenda – to hook a wealthy man. They’re easy to spot, and even easier to see through. I may indulge them for a couple of days, but I grow bored with them easily and move on to the next.
Oh, there have been a few along the way that interested me. But for one reason or another, we just weren’t a great fit for each other. Take Haley, for example. On paper, we look like a match made in heaven. In reality, the chemistry between us just wasn’t right. We respect and love the hell out of each other. But when it came to it, those chemicals in our brains that supposedly line up when there’s a genuine love connection just never lined up for us. She always ribs me for being the man that turned her off men forever. And I guess I can’t argue with that.
I’m grateful, though. Haley is an irreplaceable piece of my life. She keeps me organized, motivated, on task, challenged – and she keeps me laughing. That’s something that’s all too often underestimated and undervalued. Haley also sometimes serves as my moral compass – something I often underestimate and undervalue.
Like I said: in so many ways, Haley is amazing. In so many ways, things were right, but on the most important level, something just wasn’t there. During our entire relationship, we both knew that somehow it wasn’t meant to be.
After things fizzled romantically between us, I guess I just kind of gave up on finding that mythical ‘one’. If I couldn’t make it work with somebody as incredible as Haley, how in the hell did I expect to make it work with anybody else?
But something about Felicity has stirred up feelings inside of me I haven’t felt in a very long time. Which is probably why I can’t get her out of my head. But the man sitting across from me is why I should.
“So, what happened last night, man?” Peter finally breaks the silence.
“I observed a man staring a little too hard at her,” I begin. “He seemed to be paying a little too much attention to her. And judging by her reaction when she saw him, he had her clearly unnerved.”
“But he didn’t do anything – provocative – before you took him down?”
I sit back in my seat and run my fingers through my hair. It’s hard to explain to somebody who hasn’t seen combat before just how quickly things can happen. Most people – civilians, I mean – think they know what it means for something to happen in the blink of an eye. But they don’t. Not really.
They don’t understand that you have to read the signs and all of the non-verbal cues. You have to read a subject’s body language and intuit their thoughts. They don’t seem to get that if you hesitate, for even a millisecond, people are going to get hurt. People are going to get killed.
“When I was stationed in Afghanistan, my unit was out on patrol one day and we came across a roadside market,” I start. “Lots of people milling around. Our Lieutenant sent us in there to sweep the place, looking for hostiles.”
Peter leans forward, an expression of confusion on his face – as if he’s trying to figure out why I’m telling this story. He doesn’t say anything, though, apparently confident that I’ll get to my point.
“Anyway, we were in the marketplace doing our thing and you could just feel how much these people hated us being there. You could feel it, man,” I continue. “So, I saw this kid – couldn’t have been more than fourteen or fifteen – and something just seemed off about him. Something didn’t feel right. But I thought I was being paranoid because the place was so openly hostile.”
I pause for a moment as the memories come flooding back. It was, hands down, the worst day I ever had in the Corps. It was pretty much the worst day of my life. I run my hand over my face as I try to stuff down the swell of emotion that rises up within me. It’s so thick it’s practically choking me.
“I figured I was just on edge and jumping at shadows. So, I hesitated. I ignored my training and everything in my gut telling me that some shit was about to go down,” I haltingly add. “And sure enough, because I hesitated, that kid rushed my guys and set off his bomb vest.”
“Jesus,” Peter says softly.
“Three of my guys were pretty much evaporated on the spot,” I growl, still enraged at the memory. “Another one lost a leg. All because I hesitated and didn’t act when my instincts were telling me to act.”
“You can’t take that on yourself, man,” Peter tells me. “That’s not on you.”
“It is. Because I saw the threat and didn’t do anything about it,” I explain. “I overrode my gut, and people got killed because of it. I should have neutralized him the minute I knew something was up.”
“Knox, come on man –”
I wave him off. “Do you get my point?” I press. “I saw the guy, perceived a threat, and acted. That’s
why Felicity’s event turned into the shitshow it did. You hired me to watch her back, and that’s what I did. I know she’s pissed – and you’re pissed – but I won’t apologize for doing my job.”
Peter sits back, a stunned expression on his face. “Man, I had no idea.”
I clear my throat. “I don’t ever really talk about it,” I admit. “But that shit is always playing in my head on an endless loop.”
I downplay and minimize it because I’m trying to make a bigger point, but that is a memory that weighs heavy in my heart and mind. How can it not? I watched three of my friends get blown into a million little pieces – all because I didn’t pull the trigger when I should have.
“Have you ever spoken to anybody about it, Knox?” Peter cuts into my thoughts. “Like, a professional?”
“Trying to recruit new clients, are you?”
A gentle smile crosses his lips, and he shakes his head. “No, I’m just trying to look out for a friend.”
“I appreciate it, brother. I do,” I say. “But we’re getting pretty far afield here. My point is that –”
Peter holds up his hand. “Yeah, yeah, I get your point. No need to keep beating me over the head with it.”
“Good.”
I can see the wheels in his head spinning. “Felicity said the cops released the guy.”
“Yeah, they had nothing to hold him on.”
“Then I guess you taking him down didn’t end up accomplishing much.”
I grin. “Other than let me put a big hit on some asshole? Yeah, probably not,” I confirm. “It did send a message, though.”
“And what might that message be?”
“That your sister has people watching over her,” I state simply. “Maybe next time he’ll think twice before showing up at her events trying to intimidate her.”
He arches an eyebrow at me. “You really think that’s likely?”
I shrug. “It’s possible.”
“But what’s your read on the guy?” he asks. “Be honest here. Is he going to be a problem?”