Susanne had said that we could take everything home but maybe leaving a change of clothes here would be a good idea. Looking through everything I speculated there must have been about ten grands’ worth of stuff and I felt uncomfortable taking it all home instead I had picked a pair of jeans which I'd worn that day and left the rest here. Right now, I could kiss Susanne, the pair I had picked out had been a faded blue Prada pair and fitted like a glove, god knows how Susanne had known my size? but was glad she had, I grabbed the boots they were an Italian make the leather was so soft but weirdly as I slipped them on they felt like the sturdiest pair of boots I had ever worn. I had scoffed at such items in the past and thought that things like this were just too much money, overpriced and no different from another pair £300 cheaper. Wiggling my toes about now I was happy to admit I was wrong. With one thing left to find I rifled through the draws until I found a pair of gloves. They were a beautiful leather pair that felt like I had just put my hand in soft silk. I could get used to wearing these really quick. I found a scarf to wrap around my mouth I didn't want to breathe on Thomas, I might not even be sick but I wasn't going to take any chances either way, as I wrapped the scarf around my mouth an image flashed into my mind of the biker gang riding around my neighbourhood shooting guns, all of them had a scarf or mask on, was this N17 the reason why? Maybe I did have some answers after all or if not answers at least some rough ideas based on what I’d seen.
I left the cogs in my mind to continue to spin while I went to find my Thomas. As predicted Thomas was still in the shower he had every knob pushed water looked to be coming out every spout hole and crevice, Thomas looked to be in his element, if you asked Thomas what his favourite thing to do was it would always be water related, his favourite animal was a shark as it lived in water well apart from dragons and even they live under the sea in his mind. For the last few years, if you asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, his answer was always the navy. His words to me had been that living on the sea and being able to shoot guns would be awesome. The thought had scared me half to death, as much as we need our service men and women I don't think any mother actually wants their son or daughter to join. Thomas was 5 at the time when he'd first said it, Ryan had reminded me of that and pointed out he would probably change his mind a good few times before it was time to pick a career and I had realised I was being a bit silly but it had continue to stay the same nearly years later and watching him in the shower now I could see him in a water based job, He was very calm, very smart, if it was the navy he chose they would be very lucky to have him.
“You alright in there Mr.?” I called into him
"Yeah, mum do I have to get out now?"
"Not if you don't want to just be careful not to soak Grandmas bathroom floor too much, I will put some clean clothes on the bed, can you put them on please there will also be a pair of gloves and a scarf, can you please put them both on as well it will help protect you from this nasty bug?"
“Mum”
“Yeah”
“Is Jason going to be ok?”
“I'm sure he will darling I have called the doctor, they will be here soon I'm sure so, please stay in the house so you don't get in their way ok mate.”
“Ok mum.”
“Good boy now I'm going to leave you in the shower remember what I said about not soaking the floor.”
I knew it was wrong lying saying that a doctor was coming but what else could I tell my seven-year-old boy, I didn't want to scare him with the truth
“sorry darling there are no doctors and I’ve been told not to go to the hospital, that if you suspected somebody was ill you’re to lock them in a room on their own to either get better or die!
No this was a lie I could live with. I had no idea what I was going to do with Jason but I needed to check if he was ok I hoped he was and I would know what to do once I was outside in all of two seconds.
Chapter 6:
Iwalked downstairs to check on Jason shitting myself at what I was going to find. I still had no idea what to do, I hated the thought of just leaving him he was sick and alone but on the other hand, I had Thomas to think about. I had no clue as to what this N17 thing was or if Jason even had it? but if he did, did I have the heart to just lock him in a room and leave him there?
As I opened the door Bert came running in from the kitchen and stood next to me. “Hey boy, you coming to keep me safe a! well stay close ok boy.”
I gave him a stroke behind the ears while I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. I reached the car and saw straight away Jason was dead. It was like his head had filled up with blood and had nowhere else to go so, poured out of every opening available. His eyes had opened slightly revealing them to be all bloodshot, red trails streamed down face where blood had leaked from nose, mouth, and ears. The rest of this face was so pale in contrast that he looked like something from a horror movie about to wake up and eat your brains for dinner and just like those stupid people in those films I stood there glued in place waiting for it to happen if I had been watching this instead of living through it I would have been screaming at myself to run.
Standing here transfixed on Jason's dead body in the car my brain tried to process what was happening it couldn't be past 12 noon and already I had killed two people and had another dead in my car, no this wasn't fucked up at all. How was it that I was still calm, well ok semi-calm, had losing Ryan made me so numb that I just couldn't feel any more or did it have something to do with the resolve I'd woken up with to be strong and survive had this been what was keeping me going? Either way, this question didn't need an answer I just had to solve the what to do now?
I recalled 999, the telephone call I had made earlier had spoken of what to do with a death of the N17 virus. Now that Thomas was out of harm’s way I could listen to it with a clearer head hopefully they would tell me what to do? I listened to the recorded message again.
Due to high call volumes our operators are unable to take your call at present if you are calling regarding N17 virus, symptoms include high fever, pale skin, erratic heartbeat and pulse, red bloodshot eyes, bleeding from the nose then as the virus progresses from the eyes, mouth, and ears, if either yourself or someone you know have come into contact or are showing any of these symptoms you may have contracted.
DO NOT leave your house.
DO NOT go to an emergency room, hospital or doctors.
DO NOT have any skin to skin contact. Isolate yourself or the infect party in a separate room, apply gloves and cover all exposed areas of skin. Drink plenty of fluids. If you are calling to report a death from N17. You will need to leave the name of the deceased, their age and the address they are located at the end of this message.
we apologise but due to the volume of calls, we are attending to we estimate that collection of the deceased will be within 48 hours we strongly advise that in this time you have no skin to skin contact and isolate them to avoid contracting the virus. Our emergency services will get to every person but ask for your patience in this trying and difficult time…
Please stay on the line if you are calling to report a death your call will be redirect…Please leave the name, age and location of the deceased after the tone. Beep….
I hung up the phone, could I wait for 2 days for them to collect Jason? What if Thomas came out here? Jason was clearly infected so there was no way I was bringing him into the house. I didn't want Thomas to see the body but more importantly, I couldn't let him catch anything.
Thinking of Thomas's catching this and losing him made my belly turn to jelly, fear and panic fought inside me for dominance but I couldn’t let either of them win. So, with that I made a decision I wasn’t really comfortable with but felt it was a necessity; Jason had to be moved.
I had to figure something out this couldn't be what I lost my shit over. But, how was I going to move him without touching him?
Surely if I'd coped with everything that had been thrown at me this morning I could figure this out, breathe, I
needed to take a few breaths and think this through logically.
I didn't really want to enter the car and drive it away if possible but I could flip the handbrake down and push it. An idea struck me if Susan's jeep was still parked by the stables I could use it to toe my car to one of the fields and leave it there, ok, maybe not the world's best plan but knowing I had one was a start. I wouldn't have to touch Jason he would be out the way until I could get somebody to collect him. The jeep was usually parked at the stables around the back of the house and was about 5 minutes' walk. I was wondering if I could get there and back before Thomas noticed he probably wouldn't but common sense prevailed and I couldn't leave him. It was one thing to stand outside while he showered alone. I'd left all the doors open so I could hear if he needed me but what if something happened while I left? no Jason wasn't going anywhere and as much as I hated the idea of leaving him here I had no other choice. I called Bert and went back inside Thomas would be hungry he hadn't eaten any breakfast, neither had I thinking about it but food was the last thing I wanted, however, the kitchen did have a lovely collection of knives.
What was coming over me thinking of knife as lovely? What the fuck… was I having some fem fatal complex with everything that had happen?
I set off for the kitchen I’d make Thomas some lunch stock up on some weaponry, then deal with Jason after Thomas was fed and watered. I could settle him down with a film, move Jason and then I needed to find as much information as I could on what the fuck had been going on!
While making Thomas's lunch I tried to quite all the questions that kept flying at me it was driving me crazy as I had no real answers, part of me wanted to say screw what I was doing and just sit in front of the TV and find out everything I could but I had made a plan and I needed to settle Thomas, he had been through enough. At the moment, we were safe. I was hoping he would have a little nap it has been a bit of a crazy morning, to say the least.
The shower switched off while busied myself in the kitchen looking for some to eat. I began making some sandwiches, the bread was at least a few days old but it had no mold on so it would have to do.
“Hey mum, are you making sandwiches?”
Thomas strolled into the kitchen from having his shower fully dressed and with a pair of black gloves on. It reminded me how much he was growing up, even over the last few days there were more and more moments where he felt years beyond his age.
“Yes, darling do u want one?
“Yeah, can I have ham in it?”
“Pardon?”
He stood staring at me for a second before I heard
“Sorry, please”
"That's better yes, of course, you can, could you go and grab it out grandma's fridge please."
As Thomas walked back with the ham I looked him over worried, he looked to be fine, his eyes were sparkling, his face looked pump and warm with colour, his mop of dark hair was a mess that I needed to get cut, it dangled over his eyes if he didn't comb it back, like it was now. I itched to sweep it off his face and out of his eyes but stopped short. I had no idea what this virus was but it sounded like it was passed on through touch so, instead, I set Thomas up in the living room to eat his lunch. Susanne hated people eating in the living room except on rare occasions. I was counting this as an occasion of sorts.
We had a quick browse through Susanne and Eric's DVD collection and with not much choice Thomas settled for some old power rangers one he'd left here on a previous visit. I'd avoided using the sky, I didn't want him accidentally flicking the channel and watching the news report on the world going to shit. Once I knew Thomas was settled watching a film and eating his lunch I told him that the doctors had already picked Jason up and I was popping to the stables, not to go anywhere or open the door to anyone and left him with Bert.
It was a clear June morning the sun was rising high in the sky and it looked like it was going to be a nice day, no sign of how horrible it really was. Walking to the stable I tried to clear my mind of the task ahead, earlier this morning had been dam-right-horrific but had gone so quick I didn't really have time to think, now it felt like all I had was time.
I hadn't known the other two men but had known they were there to hurt me and Thomas and so had felt no remorse, no sadness towards them and what I had done. I had only felt confusion to what had happened to the bodies afterwards and freaked out by the sign on my wall. What I was doing now was different. It was planned and calculated. I reasoned with myself that I had no other choice. The problem was I knew deep down I did but would not risk Thomas's life to do it.
I had decided it was too dangerous to just leave Jason in the field what if whatever he had was air born? What if Thomas saw the car and went to investigate. What if nobody came to collect him? So many what ifs had gone on in my mind I had decided to burn the car. It was heartless and cold to even think I could just burn somebody, even if that somebody was dead and infected with a deadly disease. Let alone do it but I’d couldn’t bury the body without touching it. I knew if I call for him to be collected I could be waiting days if not longer who knows when the message was recorded and if people did come they would know I had food and supplies and that was dangerous.
I neared the stable carrying a plastic bag filled with things I'd rummaged through the house before I'd left in order for me to do this as safely as possible. I had found a swimming mask in Eric's sports cupboard that I could put on once I got to the car and hoped it would protect my face. I needed to let the handbrake off so I could tow the car and that meant opening the door, which I really didn't want to do but had no other choice the mask would cover my eyes and nose. I already had gloves and a scarf. Once I open the door I wouldn't breathe, that was the best I could hope for, I rounded the corner and saw the stables in front of me.
Susanne had 6 horses altogether though I only ever remembered two of their names; Susanne's horse, which was named grace she was white with brown spots on her back she was very gentle and walked with such an air of authority but with so much grace I could see why Susanne liked her and why she was given that name. Thomas had ridden her a few times but Susanne said she was getting old and couldn't ride as much as she once had, the other was called starlight he was jet black but had several white star-like patches on his side hence the name. It reminded my of my own star birthmark.
He was a stunning creature, full of mussel and oozed strength. I’d never ridden a horse before I’d met Ryan, never really wanted to but, one look at Starlight and I craved to take him out in the field and feel the wind in my hair. Over dinner that evening I spoke of his beauty and maybe my desire to ride him. The next day Susanne took me out and showed me the basics. She couldn't ride herself as her leg was still healing but it was nice we finally had something to bond over. Over the years I'd ridden a few of Susanne's horses but Starlight was always the one of choice. There looked to be such an intelligence in his eyes. He was intuitive when I'd first ridden him it was as if he understood I was new at it. He knew when my confidence grew and applied more speed to his runs. He was a fine and beautiful creature.
I walked in and saw starlight straight away he looked at me then, gave a dip of his head. It was as if he was giving me a nod to say hello so, I walked over to him and gave him a stroke. “Hey boy.”
His stable looked to be quite clean and there was food and water in all the stalls so the mystery of where everyone had gone and why they had left continued. I walked through the stable into the back office and looked out the window spotting the jeep, the keys were in the same place as always, on a hook inside a little cupboard at the side where all the riding gear was kept. I grabbed them off the wall and headed for the jeep promising to return soon to Starlight and the other horses kept there.
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