Sol had obviously been thinking about things for a while or at least far more than me. It made me appreciate having him here with me all the more. After we had both had a bit of water and caught our breath we got up and carried on. I led Sol deeper through the woods. We both knew where I was taking him words were not needed and I'm glad because, with each step I took, I could feel my emotions bubbling closer and closer to the surface, tears pricked my eyes making my vision blurry, an anger raw and hungry sat in the bottom of my stomach, images flashed in my head of the last time I was here. Carrying Thomas, the weight of him felt no more than a tiny baby in my arms not the strong 7-year--old boy I knew him to be only the day before he fell ill.
I contemplated taking Sol via the route along the river, it was quicker but because it was summer, the forest was at its fullest and the path would probably be near impossible so, I led Sol through the trees where the red-eyed, cloaked figure had found me and Bert. I found that I was watching everything, looking for the slightest movement listening for any noises that might mean we weren't alone. I had purposely skated around the area where I had fought with the thing choosing to avoid whatever still lay there. I was squeezing the knife in my pocket making my hand ache, I thought about pulling it out but didn't want to explain to Sol why I was carrying it. It was one thing for me to not be ready to tell him I had some crazy shit going on but it was totally another story to lie to him. I had never been able to lie to Sol. Not now, not as a kid, so I kept it hidden in my pocket and trudged on.
When we reached the very edge of the glade the only thing I’d seen were a few squirrels and a couple of birds.
I realised how on edge I'd become and it was pissing me off. Today was about letting Sol have a chance at saying goodbye to his nephew and brother in law. Sol must have noticed because he came up next to me a placed his arm around my shoulders. We entered my secret glade and it looked more beautiful than ever. As soon as I got my first glimpse of the silvery willow tree it was if all the anger I had felt in the pit of my stomach melted away and was replaced with a warm sensation that made me feel at peace.
“Wow” I heard Sol whisper before he stumbled over and fell flat on his face
“You ok? I asked helping him up off the ground
Sol nodded indicating he was alright "how on earth did you find this place, Sadie? It's beautiful."
“I was walking Bert one day a few years ago, and I know it sounds silly Sol but it was like it drew me here.” I pointed at the big Willow tree and Sol smiled.
"That doesn't sound silly at all, do you remember when we were little you must have been no older than 3-4 you used to tell me you could talk to the trees. You would run around the garden at mum's friend’s house with a stick in your hand pretending to be a witch and you had spells that made them talk to you, you would tell everyone they had to be kind to the trees as they had feelings too, you would get me to listen, and would get so upset when I told you I couldn't hear anything. You were so persistent telling me I must be doing it wrong and get me to try and press my ear against the tree this way and that way. In the end, I just pretended I could hear but I always wondered if you really could hear something. Maybe you could, maybe it did draw you here? Who am I to say otherwise." He chuckled and walked into the glade.
Sol's answer was not what I had expected I'm not sure what I expected him to say but it wasn't that. I tried to remember what Sol was talking about but couldn't conjure up a single memory of any of it, maybe I was just too young.
Sol followed me over to where I had buried Thomas and the pair of us sat down. The love heart and initials I'd made out of the pebbles and stones I'd found near the river was still here, I thought the strong winds might have blown them away but they were exactly how I left them. I told Sol that when all of this was over I was going to have a headstone made with an inscription made for both Ryan and Thomas. I still couldn't believe my boys were truly gone but being here in this place it was as if I could feel them or an essence of them at least. We spoke to both Ryan and Thomas as if they were sitting here next to us, recalling memories of the times we'd had together. Sol reminded me of the time not long after Thomas was born when he was trying to put a nappy on him but was not succeeding very well and it resulted in Thomas peeing all over him and the time when he'd let Thomas play with his phone and he called a client in Australia, Thomas had left a 47-minute answering machine message costing Sol a fortune.
I remembered it well and thought at the time Sol might have been mad, he hadn’t shown it instead he pissed himself laughing which got us all laughing including Thomas who had no idea what he was laughing at.
We reminisced about the holiday in Spain we’d had together when Ryan got burnt on his face on the first day and had glasses mark for days until he could even it out, it still showed slightly if I looked at the picture we’d taken on the last day. The picture I had gone to get.
I told Sol about the incident last year when Ryan and I had called the police thinking Thomas had gone missing, we'd looked for him for over an hour searching everywhere, only to find out he was playing with next doors cat.
There were lots of tears but laughter as well any memory we could think of good or bad, happy or sad we talked about. Eventually I could see the light in the sky start to dim as the sun descended, I knew it would be time to start leaving soon, after gathering some fresh flowers and saying my goodbyes promising to be back in the next day or two I left Sol alone so he could have some time to say his own goodbyes.
While I sat under the willow tree waiting for Sol I thought about everything we had talked about today, all the memories we’d shared. I decided that over dinner tonight I would sit down and talk to him about all the crazy stuff going on. That then made me think about what Sol had said about me hearing trees talk, another strange thing or just a little girl playing pretend? I tried to imagine what I looked like but every time I closed my eyes I could only see me as the woman I was now not a 3-year-old little girl.
The notion to try it and see what happened flicked through my mind, I was about to dismiss it as being stupid but before I had even finished processing the thought I'd stood up and had my ear pressed against the trunk of the silvery willow.
A humming noise sounded in my head like thousands of voices had joined together to sing the most delightful song but I could hear no words. The sound was beautiful and enchanting but more than that I could feel the noise beating, pulsating coming up through my feet traveling through my body along with it I got a sensation of a peacefulness and tranquillity “no way” I whispered to myself was I going mad? Stepping away from the tree and taking my hands away the sound went and the feeling faded but didn’t leave me completely. For a few seconds, I felt light headed I took some deep breaths before trying again.
I hesitantly came forward and replaced my hand and ear back on the trunk, the beautiful sound and the feeling of beating returned along with the extreme sense of being at peace. I stepped away and again it faded.
Pacing, I needed to figure out what the hell was going on? How could I hear that? feel that? I ran to a tree on the opposite side of the glade and put my ear to the trunk. low and behold I could feel the same beat it was far fainter than the willow tree and if I hadn’t of been listening for it I’m not sure if I would have heard it but I could definitely hear and feel the same beating noise as the willow tree. I tried three more before Sol noticed me darting from tree to tree.
“Hey sis what the hell are you doing?”
"Sol come here," I asked him
Sol came over to me. I told him I could hear something from the trees and asked him to try. I knew it sounded like I should be carted off to the nearest funny farm but I had to see if he heard or felt anything. He didn’t ask any questions didn’t demand I be taken to the nearest psychiatric centre but just placed his left ear and hands on the trunk of the tree.
"I don't hear anything Sadie," he told me
I grabbed his arm and took him back to the willow tree. “Here try t
his one I can hear it much louder in this tree.”
Again, he did as I asked without questions and told me he couldn’t hear anything in that one either.
“Can you feel anything like a beating or pulsating coming from the ground? “I asked.
Sol shook his head.
“I know I sound crazy but I swear I can hear something Sol but more than that I can feel it, I dunno maybe I am going crazy but so much has happened in the past few weeks that doesn’t make any sense”
I decided to tell Sol right now about all the weird shit that was going on with me the strange humming noise coming from the trees when I touched them was the last straw, I needed help to figure out if maybe just maybe there was some kind of rational explanation as to what the hell was going on with me or if I was starting to go crazy, which was fast becoming a fear of mine. It was quite possible that with the death of my husband and only child I had gone into some kind of mental breakdown.
Chapter 14:
The night sky had fully descended upon us by the time I’d finished telling Sol everything that had happened to me over the past two weeks. Starting with how I’d thrown my boss Barry across the office and through a plaster partition wall after he had slapped my arse. I explained I didn’t know how I’d done it and wanted to tell him on the phone when he rang but it had only just happened and I didn’t know what to say, didn’t know if he’d even believe me. I didn’t believe me and I’d been there. I told Sol I put it down to something called Hysterical strength like how mothers lift a vehicle to rescue their child and tried to put it to the back of my mind but, more and more weird stuff kept happening. How I hurt my head and then scrapped all the skin off my toes at the hospital after Ryan had died. When I’d woken the next morning, there wasn’t a scratch in sight anywhere to be found on me.
I told him about the biker gang at my house killing two people in broad daylight, burning the bodies where they lay, then set their sights on me when one of them saw me looking out the window. Knowing they would come to investigate, it had triggered something in me and somehow, I'd become some warrior chick gathered weapon and was ready to defend both Thomas and I when they broke into the house. I told Sol I'd known with certainty they wanted to do us both harm and I'd killed them but not before noticing one of the intruders had glowing red eyes, after he'd died I explained to Sol that he'd just turned to some gooey substance. We'd escaped and made it here. I told Sol about me calling the Doctors when Thomas was sick and that a lady called Alice came, I told him about her strange words regarding me being something called The Fifth, I'd said that I had thought it was nonsense but more people had said it including Thomas while he was laying in my arms dying, I voiced my fear about being hunted by something and that another creepy thing with red eyes had attacked me in the woods.
Finally, I recounted the series of events yesterday, I told him all about my plan to find Alice, that I thought she might have some answers to my millions of questions. But it had all gone wrong, two men had been looking for someone, someone I believed to be me and I’d had to run for my life. I had found nothing on Alice had spent hours under a bush hiding from the people that had taken over my house until I could get away without being seen.
I told Sol everything that had happened until I saw him at Susanne and Eric’s house He didn’t say much while I talked, just listened. I didn’t noticed anything at first, it felt good telling him and once I’d got started it all came tumbling out and I couldn’t stop until I’d told him everything. But now that I had, Sol looked strange. I thought that maybe it was shock and I would probably have that same look on my face too if he’d told me all the stuff I’d just told him. I gave him a minute to process all I’d said before I could no longer take the silence.
I went to ask him what he was thinking when it hit me, why he hadn’t spoken sooner it was written all over face, it was in his body language, the way he sat with his shoulders slumped forward. I knew Sol well enough to read the signs he was throwing off. He knew something!
"Sol, do you know what's going with me?"
Sol's eyes looked to the floor and I knew without a shadow of doubt he did.
“I’m sorry Sadie I should have told you as soon I saw you but you had been through so much and I suppose I was hoping Will was wrong.”
That threw me through a loop what did Will have to do with any of this.
I stood up "What were you hoping Will's was wrong about? What's going on Sol?
Sol didn’t say a word. The colour had drained from his face and it was starting to get me really worried. Sol wasn’t the type of person to beat around the bush, he was the type to just spit it out. What was going on with me that had him this worried?
I found I was pacing up and down waiting for Sol to answer me. Sol stood up too, he held my shoulders to keep me still and looked me right in the eye. I knew it was his way of trying to calm me down while at the same time apologising, I took a deep breath and realised there and then he hadn’t kept anything from me on purpose it was just more important things had happened. I went in to give him a hug and let him know I wasn’t mad.
“Please Sol, tell me what you know.”
“I will tell you everything I know if you want, but Will knows a lot more about what’s going on, it would probably be better if he explained it to you.”
"Hell, no Sol, whatever it is I'd rather it came from you. Then, we can go and have a little chat with Mr. Connor! And he can fill in anything you can't"
I sat back down and waited for Sol to begin but he didn’t, now, it was him that started to pace. It was worrying me, what did he have to tell me what was so bad?
"For fuck sake, Sol, just spit it out you're freaking me out."
“Sorry it’s just I don’t know where to start”
"Um, maybe the beginning." I snapped "Sorry Sol come and sit down and you can just tell me what you know ok?"
Sol came and sat beside me.
“I suppose I should start with Will and the company I work for.
Conner Enterprise as you know is a law firm but with a difference; The cases and people Conner Enterprise represent are all wrongly convicted.
I looked to Sol to tell him, that wasn’t so strange. There’s lots of law firms that specialise in those sorts of cases, but Sol shut me off with a look that told me to be patient.
"Only once the people I worked for, believed one hundred percent they were innocent would Will, sign off on the case for it to continue. We had one main rule and it was never to speak of the work we did or the clients we represented to anyone, not family, not friends or girlfriends, no-one. Will had been very firm on the matter when I joined the company and when I'd asked why? He'd said that it was just the way things were done here, always had been and if I wanted to keep my job I would continue the same practice. To be honest, Sadie when I first started I thought it was cool I had a secret job I wasn't allowed to talk about and as time went on it just became part of me.
5 people work there; Will Conner, my boss, the man at the house.
Sarah Allen. She’s Wills best friend they have known each other for forever. I thought for a long time they were a couple but when I eventually asked Sarah a few years ago she laughed so hard and walked off, so I asked Will and got the same response from him; laughing so hard he nearly pee’d his pants, he wouldn’t tell me what was so funny but told me they weren’t an item so I let the matter drop. Anyway, I had no idea what Sarah done but she has an office next to Will. You know Andy the receptionist, you met him when you came here remember?”
I nodded because I did remember. Andy was funny and friendly, him and his boyfriend Joe had met us in central park, the four of us had a picnic and in the evening, Andy had come shopping with me and Sol, he'd had a brilliant sense of style and made me get a few outfits I would never have picked out but even I'd had to admit, they looked fabulous on me. Even though it was a summers night it was getting a bit chilly so I suggested we start a small fire, Sol agreed and while we gathered up some kindling
and a few small logs Sol carried on with his story.
"I worked under a man called Jeremy, he was quite old, I never asked but I would have said he was in his seventies, a really nice bloke and great at what he did, he'd never lost a case.
Apart from knowing how good at his job he was I knew little else about him. I knew he had a wife called Astrid that made him cheese and pickle sandwiches every day but had never met her. I had no idea on whether he had kids or other family. We travelled a lot to meet clients. I spent a lot of time in prison waiting rooms or mental institutions. There were times when Jeremy would bring me into the meeting. I would take notes, collect coffee, general assistant type stuff. After those instances, Jeremey would ask me a barrage of questions relating as to whether I thought they were innocent or not.
Other times I wouldn't be let in the meeting. On those occasions, he would send me to pick up paperwork from another office or some other errand telling me once I was done I could enjoy whatever city we happen to be in. I asked many times why he took me as I didn't really do a lot but his reply was always better than being stuck in the office ah! I was young, I got to see a lot of the world and to be honest sis it was better than sitting in an office so I just enjoyed it. For years working there I was just an office boy I would go to meetings and take notes when I was allowed, fetch and print documents, make coffee that kind of stuff, as the years went by I was allowed to be more and more involved in Jeremey’s cases. I hardly ever even saw Will but not long after my 27th birthday Jeremy got sick and Will said he wasn’t able to work anymore.
I went to see Jeremey a few times at his apartment to see if there was anything I could do, see if I could help at all but every time I rang his buzzer, his wife or I think it was his wife answered said he was asleep or too unwell for visits.
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