“I can’t imagine why it stuck. It never does.”
“Maybe it’s wet.”
“But it didn’t stick for you,” Melissa insisted with the tenacity of a small mind bogged down in unimportant detail.
“It’s unstuck now, so don’t worry about it anymore. Are you having a nice time?” Eliza asked, trying to turn Melissa’s thoughts in another direction.
“It’s all right,” she said, eying Cord, “but it’s such an unsophisticated party.” Cord glanced up, and a more perceptive girl would have been abashed by his look, but Melissa smiled archly at him, quite in the manner of a young girl trying to act ten years older.
“But the children will have the books they need. Do you read a lot, Mr. Stedman? Not these books, of course.” She laughed artificially.
“I don’t have time,” he answered shortly. He replaced the book on the shelf and crossed the room with his long, swinging stride. “Don’t stay too long. Your mother might get worried.” Melissa swelled with lacerated pride, but Cord was utterly unconcerned with her feelings as he escorted Eliza outside.
“The fiddles are about to strike up,” Ella informed them when they returned. “Don’t wander off or you’ll miss the first square dance.”
“Oh, dear, do I have to dance?” asked Eliza. “I don’t know if I can.”
“What? You can’t dance? Don’t be silly. Of course you can.”
“But I’ve never been to a dance.”
“Neither have I,” added Cord.
“And you two having to lead the set. Well, I’ll be a pig’s uncle. This ought to be a sight, both of you stumbling over each other without knowing which foot to put where. Charlie, you’d better scrape something slow and easy. The schoolmarm and her fella have never set foot on a dance floor.” Eliza cringed at Ella’s calling Cord her fella, but the crowd was so delighted at the expected fun they hardly noticed.
“Bring her out here and we’ll show you how” Charlie encouraged Cord.
“Always lead with your right,” called one helpful assistant from the sidelines.
“But not if you’re the lady.”
“Just stay away from his boots, miss, or you’ll never walk again.”
“Everybody knows cowboys have trouble walking. Let a farmer show you how it’s done.”
Eliza felt like running away, but Cord took the kidding in good part and led Eliza into the middle of the open space marked off for dancing.
“Get somebody to show us what to do, and we’ll follow as best we can,” Cord directed the onlookers. The rowdy element set up a hoot, and several comments were bandied about that were not generally complimentary to cowboys, but a young farmer took up the challenge.
“Now play it real slow, Charlie, or he’s liable to do her a mischief with those boots,” said another wag. The mood of the picnic was rapidly being reduced to one of hilarity, and the first awkward steps taken by Cord and Eliza did nothing to dampen the mood.
“We need more examples,” Cord called, and several more couples moved onto the dance area. Caught in the middle of the swinging, twisting mass of bodies and moving about in what was unkindly referred to as a goose waddle, Cord and Eliza tried to copy the steps of some of the slower-moving dancers. When the dance ended, everyone applauded the couple and gaily offered suggestions for the next dance, but when the music started again they quickly forgot Cord and Eliza in their own enjoyment of the evening.
Chapter 11
The sun went down, and the school yard glowed in the light of lanterns hung from the porch, from poles on buckboards, and from poles sunk in the ground for just that purpose. The lanterns cast plenty of light into the circle of dancers and on the groups gathered around talking and playing cards, but the space immediately beyond was plunged into utter darkness and several couples wandered quietly into those discreet shadows.
Cord led Eliza into this nebulous region, and as the night closed around them like a cloak, she was able to imagine they were alone, the only two people on the vast, primeval plain. The evening air was crisp with expectation and Eliza had never felt more vitally alive. She was on the verge of something unimaginably wonderful, something to do with the man who guided her willing steps.
“I want you to come out to the Matador. I want to show you the whole ranch.” Eliza could hear the pride in his voice, and she trembled with happiness that he would want to share the work of his life with her.
“I can’t, not with school during the day and singing at night. I barely have time to do my housework.”
“When is school over?”
“Not for another three months.” Eliza could not hide her disappointment. “But we have a holiday next week,” she added, brightening suddenly.
“Can you come then? I’ve only collected the first installment on your debt.” She felt his arms close about her again. She knew she shouldn’t let him hold her, and she was sure Melissa would suddenly appear to point an accusing finger at them, but she couldn’t stop herself. His touch vanquished her resistance, and all she wanted to do was melt into his arms and stay there forever. She had no idea why it felt so natural and so wonderful, and she didn’t waste time in needless inquiry. She felt better than wonderful, and that was all that mattered.
“Do all cowboys collect their debts in installments?” she murmured mindlessly.
“The smart ones do.” Cord kissed her gently, but it quickly turned into an impassioned embrace. She felt his body against hers and she no longer cared about Melissa. It was warm and comforting; she leaned against him and let her arms wind around his neck. A groan escaped him and she felt his body tense and begin to tremble. She wanted to ask him the cause, but his mouth was kissing her eyes and ears, and then, in a searing explosion of feeling she would never forget, his heated lips touched her neck, and her body grew limp. It was as though her bones had turned to jelly and only his arms prevented her from sliding to the ground.
“Will you come?” he asked without pausing. His hand caressed the back of her neck while his lips teased her eyelids.
“When?” His lips tortured her ear and she felt a strange warmth begin to travel all along her body. His body, strangely stiff and unyielding, pressed against her and she could feel the heat through her dress. She knew she should draw away, but she was caught in a viselike embrace that allowed for no exit.
“Next week, on Sunday. You’ll come early?” She became aware of her breasts pushed firmly into his chest and his raging heat flowing into her body.
“I’ll pick you up at daybreak,” he said. She gradually became aware of a hardness, a place of intense heat, pressed against her. Her brain was bombarded with questions, but she was too disconcerted by his seeking, plundering, demanding lips to have thoughts for anything else.
“Eliza!” It was her uncle’s voice, loud and angry.
“Damn and blast!” muttered Cord, reining back hard on his rampaging emotions.
“Where are you? It’s time to go!” Eliza fought against the pull of reality. She didn’t want to leave the warm circle of Cord’s embrace, she wouldn’t have objected if her uncle had gone off and left her, but Ira’s voice was insistent. Eliza nervously straightened her clothes while Cord tried to calm his racing blood so his aroused condition wouldn’t be quite so noticeable.
“Uncle mustn’t find us here,” she said.
Then let’s run.” Cord took her hand, and they ran around the wagons, staying beyond the reach of the lights until they reached the far side. Eliza was out of breath and laughing helplessly when they stopped.
“Sunday, early” Cord said softly, looking at her with a long, lingering gaze that drank in every part of her.
“Sunday, early,” she repeated after him as her laughter gave way to a look of wonder and longing. Cord kissed her lightly and led her back to the circle of light.
Eliza sat sipping a cup of coffee in Ella’s parlor, wondering how to begin. When she formed the question in her mind, it seemed all she had to do was open her mouth and the words wou
ld come right out, but even Ella Baylis’s benign countenance appeared forbidding when the question was actually perched on her lips.
“And Peggy Withers is so pleased with what you’ve done for her Cam she was praising you to the skies just yesterday. If you knew half the things she said about the last teacher, you’d know that’s a near miracle. And you haven’t been listening to a word I’ve said.”
“I’m sorry,” Eliza said, recovering with a start. “I’m afraid I was woolgathering.”
“You’ve been distracted ever since you got here. Are you worrying about Cord?” Eliza was betrayed by an incriminating flush. “I thought as much. What’s he done now?”
“Nothing,” Eliza assured her earnestly. “I’m sure no woman has ever been treated with more kindness and respect.”
“I never thought Cord would be such a stuffed shirt.”
Eliza stared blankly at Ella.
“Never mind my silly jokes. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing, at least not in the way you mean,” said Eliza, squirming uneasily. “It’s just I haven’t had much experience with men, or people really, and I don’t know how to tell what a person means. When somebody talks to you in a store, you know exactly what he means, but when he talks to you at a picnic, or when you’re alone, he might not mean exactly the same thing, even though he uses the same words. Do you know what I’m trying to say?”
“I think so,” Ella said with a smile. “You want to know if Cord Stedman likes you as much as you like him.” Ella’s paralyzing way of reducing her meandering thoughts to a single, blunt sentence jolted Eliza badly.
“No,” she protested, flushing still.
“Then what is it?” Ella asked kindly.
“I want to know how to tell if I’m in love,” Eliza managed to say all in a rush. “I’ve never felt like this before. It’s nothing like my feelings for Mama and Papa or Aunt Sarah. Every time I think I’ve got things all sorted out, they get confused again.”
“And you want me to help you get things straight?”
“If you would.”
Ella laughed heartily. “Tell me all about your young man.”
“It’s not Cord. It’s me.”
Ella had never experienced any such agonizing doubts herself, but she was wise in the ways of others. “If Cord Stedman hadn’t walked into your life, would you be here now asking me questions?”
“N-no.”
“I thought so. Now, tell me about Cord.”
Eliza looked quite unable to comply, but Ella waited patiently, allowing Eliza time to gather her thoughts. “He’s the kindest man I know,” she began with a smile that told Ella all she needed to know. “He seems to always show up when I need him, and he’s never asked one thing of me. I can’t tell you how much better it is at the saloon now. There are some nights when I really don’t mind it at all. Then there’s the schoolhouse and buying everything new for us. I’d have to think he was something special even if he was as ugly as a buffalo.”
“Do you think he’s ugly?”
“He’s more handsome than any hero in a book” Eliza said rapturously. “Whenever I’m in a mood to get carried away, I tell myself he’s really not perfect. I point out every fault I can find, but whenever I see him, I don’t care if he has dozens of flaws.”
“That sounds pretty conclusive to me.”
“If he’s near me I can’t think of anything else,” Eliza continued, warming to her subject. “When he held me in his arms, at the dance,” she added quickly, “I wanted to stay there forever and not worry about Uncle, the school, or anything else ever again. I wanted to cook his dinner, wash his clothes, and be at the door every time he came home.”
“Calm down, for goodness sakes,” Ella said with a chuckle. “You’re so worked up you’re liable to run out and propose to him. He hasn’t asked you to marry him, has he?” she asked suddenly.
“Goodness, no,” replied Eliza, embarrassed by her excess of enthusiasm. “I hardly know anything about him.”
“Out here we don’t need to know much about a man except the color of his courage and the value of his word, and nobody doubts Cord’s courage or his word. What he says, he does. What he wants, he takes.”
“But does that make a good husband?”
Ella’s eyes were instantly alert. “I didn’t know we were talking about husbands.”
“I just wanted to know,” Eliza said, avoiding Ella’s eyes. “I’ve never known a man like Cord, and his way of life frightens me a little. With all this talk of rustlers and homesteaders, small and large ranchers, the Association and mavericks, I sometimes feel I don’t understand anything about Wyoming. Why can’t he do something safe like run a store? I don’t even know if I love him yet, and I worry every time he goes out he won’t come back.”
“You love him,” Ella stated emphatically. “No girl talks about a man like this unless she’s positively nutty on him.”
“Are you sure? I don’t remember Mama much, but she never seemed to act like this, and I know she was nutty about Papa. Aunt Sarah never told me what it feels like to be in love.”
“What could she say to a girl of ten? She thought she had years to watch you grow into a beautiful woman before she lost you to some handsome young man.”
Eliza’s eyes grew misty.
“You think back on some of the things your Mama did for your Papa, or your Aunt Sarah for Ira, and I’m sure you’ll find they’re the same things you’re so anxious to do for Cord.”
“Yes, they are,” Eliza answered softly. Memories she had almost forgotten provided an understanding she had never had of her mother, and suddenly she felt much closer to her than she had ever been in life.
“All men in Wyoming live dangerously, even if they run a store. Ten years ago this was Indian territory, and five years ago it was still unsafe to ride out alone. If you’re not ready and able to fight for what you have, somebody will take it from you.”
“But that’s a horrible way to live.”
“Either you do what you have to, or you move back East. And no matter what Cord may tell you, he’ll despise anybody who’s a weakling or a coward. He came up tougher than most, and if you want him, you’re going to have to take him the way he is!”
“If he wanted me, I could do anything for him.”
“Good, because the first battle is going to be with your uncle.”
“Please don’t tell him I’ve been here. I probably shouldn’t have said anything to you at all. Mr. Stedman may not feel at all the way I do.”
“If Cord Stedman doesn’t ask you to marry him within the month, he’s not the man I think he is, and I’ll tell him so.”
During the next few days, Eliza barely thought of anything except Cord. The feeling of his arms around her waist and his lips on hers had been a revelation, but the feeling of his lean, hard body against hers had given birth to new and insistent cravings. She knew little of physical love; she only knew his nearness gave her such a delicious weakness in her bones she could hardly wait to experience it again.
But after suffering through sudden flashes of heat or cold, abrupt swings of appetite and mood, and a restlessness that kept sleep at bay, Eliza decided there was more to this than just a yearning for closeness. Even the children noticed her irritability, and Friday afternoon she spoke so sharply to Otis she was startled quite as much as he. She was tempted to talk to Ella Baylis again, but she didn’t want to admit Cord had kissed her and that she longed for him to do it again. What if Ella told her it was wrong? Eliza doubted she could make herself stop. She knew she didn’t want to.
Saturday night came at last, but she was too excited to sleep and she rose long before dawn. Ira continued to sleep undisturbed even after she stumbled into a chair, but Eliza was so unnerved she hurried outside before she could stumble over something else. By the time she finished feeding the animals, milking the cow, and gathering eggs she had herself under control again.
She put on her best dress and bonnet, but her
reflection in the mirror provoked a frown of dissatisfaction. She tossed the bonnet aside and unearthed a small parasol from her trunk. It had been her mother’s and was trimmed with bows and ribbons that streamed from the handle. She opened it, put it over her shoulder, and looked critically at her reflection. Pleased, she brushed her black hair until it glistened like sable. No traces remained of the rouge Lucy had used the night before, but her cheeks flamed prettily just thinking about Cord. Then, afraid she had spent too much time at her mirror, she grabbed up her parasol and ran outside. She dared not contemplate what would happen if Cord came to the door.
The first streaks of dawn had turned to cool morning sunshine when she reached the seat beneath the tree. She was sure Ira would wake any minute and demand to know what she was doing, but Cord appeared before her courage could fail, and his presence filled her with such complete happiness she forgot her fears and rode off eagerly looking forward to a whole day spent by his side.
The morning flew past. It was soon apparent the ranch was vitally important to him and she tried to remember everything Cord told her, but her concentration was badly shaken by his nearness. Their bodies continually brushed against one another as they lurched over the uneven ground, and the feel of his powerful frame against her own left her feeling branded.
Cord took Eliza to every part of his ranch they could reach in the buckboard. He showed her the endless range covered by lush grass and the canyons, gulches, and arroyos that scarred the plains. He showed her the creeks and explained why every rancher had to secure water no matter what the cost. And he showed he his hay meadows. “Winter feeding is the best way to avoid winter losses, and it keeps the cowboys on the range. A herd of two hundred and fifty was run off one of the spreads in the Bighorn basin last winter, and nobody knew about it until the rustlers sold the steers in Montana.”
Eliza understood less clearly when he tried to explain the Cheyenne Cattleman’s Association and their conflict with the homesteaders and small ranchers, but she did understand they were in a life-and-death struggle with rustlers to determine who would control the grazing lands of northern Wyoming.
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