Husband and wife exchanged looks, but they were more than sympathetic to Riona. When she had calmed herself, they began to ask her detailed questions about her life in Donegal, and all the deprivation she had witnessed as a result of the Famine.
They drove to the Croziers’ house, where Mrs. Crozier insisted she come in for a hot drink. She fetched her one of her niece’s gowns to put on to replace the Gainsborough type dress which was now decidedly the worse for wear.
"Really, I don’t want to put you to any trouble," Riona sniffed.
"It’s no trouble at all," the older woman insisted, holding out the expensive mulberry-coloured velvet gown. "Come down to us in a moment, as soon as you've put it on."
She also left a pair of slippers that were nearly Riona’s size next to the bed, and left her alone in the guest room.
Riona thanked her lucky stars she had run into such kind people, but it wouldn’t do to abuse their hospitality. Besides, Lucien would eventually wonder where she was, that is if he hadn’t stayed at the party.
Riona went down and sipped the cocoa a drowsy-looking maid brought her, and tried to make polite conversation with Mr. Crozier about her work at the clinic.
"Forgive all the questions my dear, but you see, I'm a retired doctor. For some time now I've been wondering what to do about the Famine myself. We would offer you hospitality here, and of course you could remain in the house if you don’t mind having only one or two servants to cater to your needs whilst we are away, but we've already made plans to go down to Skibbereen and the whole south and east coasts to make enquiries as to the Famine provision in the parishes there."
"I see. It's a very kind offer."
"But we have reason to ask about your life in particular. We had thought about going back up to Donegal some time in the near future. I'm tired of living in the big city all the time. I’m too old for all the hustle and bustle.
"Will you give me your brothers’ and sisters’ address? Then if you do decide to return there yourself, we can contact you. Or, you could come with us next time we go up there, and be our guide?
"Really, it is very kind of you, but..." Riona began to decline.
The old man's patient began to slip. "Riona, don’t allow the terrible events of this night spoil what you have," he argued. "Surely you're strong enough to stand your ground, and not simply run away when things get a trifle uncomfortable. This Dr. O’Carroll doesn’t seem to be the sort of person you should even give another thought to, crude monster that he is."
"But Lucien thinks—"
"If he does, he's a damned fool," Mrs. Crozier said sharply.
"Language, my dear," her husband remonstrated in a mild tone.
"Well he is. Anyone can see what a snake in the grass he is," his wife said with an indignant toss of her head.
Her husband nodded his agreement, and waited for Riona to speak.
"I only wish that were true," Riona said with a sigh. "But he's as thick as thieves with Antoinette, Lucien's sister in law, and has powerful connections. It's his word against mine, and even if I spoke against him, they would try to avert scandal by marrying me off to him. It's unthinkable."
"Aye." Mrs. Crozier nodded.
"So is Charles Durance’s proposal," Dr. Crozier said quietly. "I know it's flattering, there's no doubt about it, a man in such a position taking an interest in you, Riona. But the plain fact is, you should marry for love. We did, and we’ve never regretted it, though the path we had to travel to find each other wasn’t always easy."
"But Lucien doesn’t love me. How can he? He thinks me guilty of I don’t know what..." Riona sighed.
Mrs. Crozier smiled indulgently at Riona. "If Lucien didn’t care about you, girl, he wouldn’t be so jealous."
"Do you really think so?" Riona asked dubiously, wishing it were true, but not so sure she could bear being with a man who trusted her so little.
"I do. So go home now, child, and try to patch up the quarrel. Tell him calmly all you've told me. You'll regret it forever if you don’t."
"I’m not the one who started it," Riona said mutinously, hugging her arms around her still shivering form.
"No, but I'm sure you will be sensible enough to find some way to finish it," remarked Dr. Crozier. "Now, give us your address in Donegal, and you take down ours here, and we shall no doubt see you soon. I hope to see you here in Dublin when we get back in a few weeks, and if not, well, I am sorry for you, child, and we will see you in Donegal, won’t we?"
Dr. and Mrs. Crozier walked her to the door, where she took her leave.
"Thank you and good night. Really, I can’t even begin to tell you how grateful I am." Riona smiled wanly, before gathering up her small bundle of clothes.
They waved farewell to her fondly, and Riona climbed back into the coach which was waiting for her at the front door.
After a short ride across town, Riona at last trudged up the stairs of the townhouse, and entered the foyer wearily.
The door of the medical room study opened just then, and Riona could see from the expression in his golden eyes that Lucien was still in a towering rage.
"Where have you been, and what did you mean by running off like that! Have you any idea how worried I’ve been!" he berated her furiously.
Riona tried to escape his wrath by running up the stairs as fast as her trembling legs would carry her, but Lucien grew more and more angry the longer she remained silent.
"I asked you where you’ve been and where did you get that dress! Who gave it to you? Dr. O’Carroll or Charles? Which one of them has been your lover behind my back, eh?" Lucien demanded, pushing his way into her room as she tried to shut him out and lock it.
"I haven’t done anything wrong!" Riona rounded on him angrily, disgusted with his evil suspicions.
"Don’t lie!" Lucien bellowed. "I saw you tonight with both Dr. O’Carroll and Charles, kissing them, being fondled by them, so don’t bother trying to deny it! You of all people should know trying to play the innocent won’t wash with me! I know every inch of you, don’t I! Or at least I thought I did until I saw you in another man’s arms," he rasped, shaking her by the shoulders.
"Damn it, Lucien, let me go!" she insisted, pushing futilely against his chest. "You have no right—"
"Were you a virgin when I took you that other night, or was there some rutting stag back in Donegal, or a whole herd of them for that matter?" he accused nastily.
Riona’s hand shot up like lightning. The slap across his face echoed around the room before she even realized she had moved.
"How dare you! Get out!" she cried hysterically.
But Lucien was already pulling her skirt up over her hips, and though Riona struggled against him, his was the superior strength.
"Damn it, let go of me, Lucien!" she shouted, kicking him as hard as she could in the leg, and managing to wriggle free at last.
But was still so intent on his prey, he made a wild grab for her, and caught hold of the throat of the mulberry velvet gown. As she attempted to flee to the other side of the room, it shredded in his hands.
Riona tugged herself away, and tried to flee the room, but stopped and pressed the shredded fabric to her bosom as she paused to wondered why Lucien had ceased shouting and pursuing her, and was instead staring at her with something akin to horror.
Looking down at herself, Riona could quite clearly see the handprints Dr. O’Carroll had left behind when he had manhandled her before. She was completely black and blue all over her chest and shoulders.
"Did I do that to you?" he whispered, aghast.
She shook her head, and her breath came out in gasps as she said, "Nay, O'Carroll did forcing me to dance with him, carrying me out of the ballroom and forcing himself on me. You have nothing to reproach yourself for as far as my physical condition. You didn't hurt me bodily, Lucien. Only with your nasty words and accusations."
After several moments of silence staring at one another, Lucien shook his head. "I'm sorry. Please, no more
fighting. But I do need to have a look at what's happened to you."
"There's no need—"
"There's every need. I'm a doctor. A damned bad one, but I can see how ill you've been used by everyone tonight. Please, I won't lay a finger on you in any personal manner but I need to see your bruises."
She allowed her grip on the door handle to relax and gave a small nod. ,
Lucien went over to Riona and gently tugged the sleeves down off of her arms to better survey the damage to her shoulders, elbows and wrists.
He was painfully aware as he tried to observe her with a clinical detachment that he might well be responsible for the bruises to her shoulders, at least in part, but there was no mistaking the violence with which she had been treated. And now he had only made it worse by letting his jealousy get the better of him once again. He shook his head and sighed.
Riona skirted him around the bed, and pulled on the robe sitting at the foot of it to clothe her nakedness. Then she demanded, "Now do you believe me when I tell you I want nothing to do with that bastard Dr. O’Carroll? And it isn’t my fault if Charles is a lonely man who wants a companion. He escorted me home from Mrs. Allen’s once. That’s all, I swear."
"I'm sorry. I know I had no right—"
"No, none at all. And no cause either." Riona sat wearily on the bed and let the tears begin to fall.
Lucien stood there, utterly at a loss as to how to deal with this shocking turn of events. "I’m sorry, Riona. You’ve had a dreadful evening, and now I’ve made things even worse," Lucien apologised stiffly, while inwardly he seethed.
He went down to his medical cabinet for a pot of cream and then returned upstairs. He undid the frogs of the dressing gown, and moved over to lift the lamp up high to examine her bruises better.
Though Riona tried to shrink away from Lucien at first, he insisted, "I’m not going to hurt you, Riona, I swear,"
At last she gave in reluctantly to his ministrations. He rubbed the cream on her ribs with shaking fingers, and then set the pot of cream down with a thump.
"The bastard! I'll bloody well kill him!"
"No, Lucien, you’ll do nothing!" Riona insisted angrily, glaring at him with her sapphire eyes afire. "I can just imagine the scandal of you all fighting over your secretary. Just forget it ever happened."
His jaw dropped. "What, and let that bastard get away with—"
"In any case, it isn’t your place to defend my honour, now is it? According to your sister in law and the rest of Dublin society who did nothing but gossip about my penurious state all night, I haven’t any honour anyway."
"That's not true and you—"
"We both know it is!" she said with a lift of her chin. "I'm not your cousin, I'm nothing and no one so far as these people are concerned, and the lie leaves me without honour. You would never dare admit who I am, how we met, what we became to each other, now would you?"
He shot her a look of exasperation as he shook his head. "I'm trying to protect you—"
"Aye, I can see that. Protect me indeed. So that's why you called me whore and then just tried to treat me like one."
He slammed his hand down on the mantelpiece in frustration. "I wasn't thinking—"
She folded her arms in front of her chest. "That's right, you weren't. Which is why the truth came spilling out. That's what you really think of me!"
"No, I didn't mean—"
"That's what you think of all women," she accused. "We're all tarred with the same brush so far as you're concerned. All as cunning and manipulative as Antoinette, eh?"
He shook his head. "No, not you. I can see it was O'Carroll now, and I'm sorry."
"So am I. Because after what you’ve said tonight, this is the end for us, isn’t it, Lucien?"
Lucien opened his mouth to try to defend his actions, but she forestalled his protests by putting one hand up in front of his face.
"Even leaving aside the way you've mauled me like some, some object, a thing, or a possession, the things you said can’t be taken back, Dr. Woulfe. I thank you for the medicine and your help, but I want you to leave this room now, and never enter it again so long as I am under this roof. I shall pack my things and go as soon as I have a suitable place, and I never want to see you again in private, is that understood?"
He looked as though he had been punched. "But Riona—"
She shook her head. "Please, spare me the protests. You wanted to end it, Lucien. You’ve tried to several times, and now I agree with you. This affair was a mistake from the start, and it has to finish now before any more damage is done to either of us."
Lucien longed to reach out to Riona, but his feelings were in such turmoil and she was looking at him so coldly, with her arms crossed in front of her, nursing her injuries, that he couldn’t bring himself to swallow his pride to admit he had been wrong and beg forgiveness.
In any case, wasn’t she right? He would make himself a laughingstock to pursue this matter further. She was only his secretary. He had taken advantage of her for far too long.
If she had a chance to marry someone as wealthy and prominent as Charles Durance, who was he to stand in her way?
The fact that she might love him, or he be in love with her, sadly never even occurred to Lucien, so worldly as he was.
"I’ve made arrangements already with Quentin for you to go and live there," Lucien informed her quietly as he moved towards the door.
"Arrangements?" she asked in clipped tones, barely able to keep the fury from her voice. So he had already decided to end it….
"You can help with the children as governess, though I shall expect you to stay on at the clinic until I can find someone to replace you."
Riona looked up sharply. "And my medical studies?"
Lucien looked at her in complete surprise, as if the thought would never have occurred to him.
She shrugged and sighed. "Well, I suppose that was just another foolish dream, wasn’t it?"
"No, no, you do have the most amazing talent, Riona. I'm sure Dr. Kennedy can always find some time to train you. He’s shaping up into a very good doctor," Lucien said stiffly.
"Never mind, it doesn’t matter now," Riona said wearily, resting her head against the bedstead. "Thank you for finding a place for me to stay. What happens to me hereafter is my own concern, not yours. I will remain at the clinic as long as I can, but I assure you I shall keep out of your way as much as possible while I do so. Good night, Dr. Woulfe, and goodbye."
She rose to escort him to the door. For a moment he looked as though he would linger, protest, but in the end he heaved a silent sigh, and stepped out of the room without so much as a backward glance.
She watched his retreating back through tear-blurred eyes for a moment, then shut and locked with a decided click that sounded like the death knell of all her hopes and dreams.
He was gone. It was over. She stumbled blindly against the dresser and then clung to it for support, her legs barely able to hold her up. She groped her way along the wall, shoulders heaving, one fist crammed in her mouth to stop her wailing lest Lucien hear her and think her even more of a fool than he undoubtedly already did.
It was over. He was gone.
She had walked through the fire's center to win Lucien's love, but she was the one who had been burned. Now there was nothing left but the bitter ashes of regret.
Riona threw herself on the bed and wept until she prayed her heart would break and end her misery at last.
Don't miss the second part of Riona and Lucien's adventures in
The Unquenchable Fire, coming soon from HerStory Books: http://HerStorybooks.com
Author's note
I hope you've enjoyed this story of Ireland and the Famine. If you want to read more about it, here are a few suggestions:
The Great Hunger, Cecil Woodham Smyth, Hamish Hamilton, London: 1962; and The Great Famine: Studies in Irish History, 1845-1852, edited by R. Dudley Edwards and T. Desmond Williams, The Lilliput Press, Dublin: 1994.
&nb
sp; These are just a few of the excellent books available regarding this most tragic event.
Riona's and Lucien's adventures, and those of the Connolly family, continue in Book 2 of The Fire of Love series, The Unquenchable Fire, coming soon from HerStory Books, http://HerStoryBooks.com
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Fifteen
The Fire's Center Page 26