‘What happened to her when she left here?’ Mary wanted to know. ‘Did she tell you? Has she been all right all these years?’
Charlotte stared at her, realizing for the first time that Mary had never known what had become of Alice from the moment she’d ‘died’. She began to smile and shook her head slowly. ‘You’re not going to believe this, Mary, but she went to my Aunt Euphemia for help. My father’s own sister. They – Euphemia and Percy – took her in and cared for her – even took her abroad with them.’
Mary’s mouth dropped open and then they both began to laugh.
Forty-Two
‘So,’ Charlotte said brightly, entering Philip’s bedroom the following afternoon, ‘isn’t it time you made an effort to get up out of that bed and stop playing the fool?’
He glared at her. ‘So you’re back, are you? I was hoping you’d gone for good. But I suppose’, he sneered, ‘you can’t let go of what you consider to be your rightful inheritance.’ Suddenly, he became aware of her changed appearance and he laughed. ‘Ugly duckling turned into swan, is it? Well, allow me to tell you, it hasn’t worked. Father still won’t propose. He’ll never forget my mother. Never.’
Quietly, she said, ‘I don’t expect your father to propose to me, Philip. My father was being vile in even suggesting such a thing.’
‘Georgie’d love it. He’d like you as a stepmother. Ben too, probably. But not me.’ Philip pulled himself up off the pillows. He was scowling at her and, in his anger, he was completely unaware of what he was doing. ‘I’ll never see the day you ensnare my father.’
But Charlotte was not looking at his face; she was staring at the bedclothes covering his legs. Slowly, she raised her eyes to look at him. ‘Philip, how long are you going to go on with this charade?’
He lay back, as if exhausted. Covering his eyes with his arm, he muttered, ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
She moved closer to the bed and leaned over him. ‘Just now, when you were shouting at me, your legs moved. Are you, for some devious reason, pretending to be crippled?’
Slowly, he lowered his arm and she could see there were tears in his eyes. His mouth quivered as he said, ‘No, I’m not. How could you even think that?’
‘I don’t like to think it of you, but you’re not making any effort to help your recovery.’
‘Those bastards broke my back. I’ll – I’ll never walk again.’
‘No, they didn’t,’ she countered softly, but firmly. ‘The doctors say your back was badly bruised and, yes, for a time maybe you couldn’t move. But now they say there’s no reason at all why you can’t get up out of that bed.’
‘What do they know? They’re fools – all of them. They’re not the ones lying here with their life in ruins.’
She stared down at him, chewing her lip thoughtfully. He was like a young, stubborn horse who needed firmness and gentleness in equal measure. And just like a horse needing to be broken, he had to know who was boss. ‘Philip, please be truthful with me. Can you really not walk?’
His eyes were haunted and hopeless and tears shimmered in them.
‘I – can’t.’
She believed him.
Softly, she said, ‘Will you trust me to help you?’
‘You can’t. No one can.’
‘I think I can, but I need you to believe in me.’
‘Why should you bother with me?’ he whispered. ‘When I’m the one taking everything that should rightfully be yours?’
‘I don’t blame you for that. What young man of seventeen would turn his back on such a gift?’
‘My father thinks I should be “man enough” to do just that.’
‘Is that what he said?’
Philip nodded and she saw fresh tears well in his eyes. She sat down on the edge of the bed, but she made no attempt to take his hand as she would have done with Georgie or perhaps even with Ben.
‘What else is worrying you?’
Again, he covered his eyes with his arm. ‘Nothing,’ he muttered at last.
‘I think there is,’ she said softly and this time he was silent. After a pause, she murmured, ‘Is it Lily?’
When he still didn’t answer, she went on softly. ‘You don’t have to marry Lily.’
Now he burst out, ‘Father thinks I should. I should take responsibility for my – my – ’
‘The Warrens don’t expect you to marry her. They never did. Philip, unless you raped her—’
‘I didn’t,’ he shouted, raising himself off the pillows again. ‘I swear I didn’t.’
‘No – I know that. Just listen to me. Lily was as much to blame as you. More so, in a way. She’s older than you and should have known better. She’s not ignorant of the facts of life. How could she be, brought up on a farm? But she is, perhaps, a naïve country lass, who believed the words of a charmer. Oh yes, I’ve no doubt you whispered many a sweet nothing into her willing ears. She would believe everything you said to her. Did you say you’d marry her?’
There was a long pause before he muttered, ‘I – might have done.’
‘But you didn’t mean it?’
He shook his head.
‘Then that’s what you’ve done wrong. Making a promise that you had no intention of keeping.’
‘I know.’ His whispered admission touched her heart and for the first time, since she’d known him, she felt a stab of affection for him. He was, after all, little more than a boy. A boy who’d acted like a man and was having to live with the consequences. And now, for the first time she could see that, deep down, he felt shame. A shame and anxiety that was keeping him from making the effort to get up out of his bed and face the world. Shut away in his room, he was safe. And he’d turned any blame on to his attackers. Crippled for the rest of his life, he would provoke sympathy, not censure.
Now Charlotte dared to touch his hand. ‘I’ll talk to your father and then we’re going to get you well again.’
Philip stared at her saying nothing. But she was worried to see the fear in his eyes.
‘I need to talk to you.’
She found Miles in his study where he seemed to spend most of his time. He smiled and laid aside the book he was reading. But the deep sadness in his eyes was still there.
‘More trouble?’ he asked gently, seeing her anxious face.
‘I hope not.’
She told him of her conversation with Philip and ended by saying, ‘I expect there’s some fancy medical name for his condition. All I can say is, he’s not getting up out of that bed because he doesn’t want to.’
‘Doesn’t want to?’ Miles was scandalized and disbelieving. ‘Surely not.’
‘Miles, he needs your reassurance and support. He needs to hear it from you that you are not going to try to force him to marry Lily. I know you’ve already told him time and again,’ she added swiftly as he opened his mouth to protest. ‘But you’ve got to make him believe it. Also, you must tell him that you’ll allow him to accept Buckthorn Farm and – ’ she hesitated over the final words, for her heart contracted as she spoke them – ‘and that you are not going to propose to me.’
‘Propose to you? Why should he think that?’
‘He thinks you’ll comply with my father’s demands to secure his inheritance.’
Miles spread his hands. ‘But that’s contradictory. He knows I don’t want him to accept your father’s preposterous idea. So, how can he think I’d marry you to bring it about?’
Charlotte shrugged. ‘I don’t know. But that’s what seems to be in his mind. One of the things, anyway.’
‘I’ll talk to him. If you – and the doctors – are right and there’s nothing physically wrong with him, then we must get him back on his feet.’
‘It’ll take time. His muscles must be wasted with all these weeks in bed. And he’ll have missed so much schooling. What’ll happen about that?’
‘I’ve been in touch with his headmaster. His place is still there for him, though he may have to drop back
a year, start the Lower Sixth Form again. But that won’t matter. He did well in his recent examinations and the headmaster said all the staff expect him to be a certain candidate for university.’
‘Then you should tell him that, Miles. No more talk of marrying Lily or becoming a farmer. My father will probably live for years anyway – just to spite everybody. Philip should get on with his life – the life he wants.’
He sat gazing at her before asking softly, ‘But what about you? Do you intend to carry on as before – running Buckthorn Farm just to hand it over to someone else?’
She shrugged. ‘Perhaps Philip would let me see out my days there. Run it for him or even become his tenant.’
‘That would be very unfair. What if you should marry and have children? What about their inheritance, never mind yours?’
Charlotte laughed wryly. ‘I don’t think that’s likely, do you?’
The conversation was getting too personal for comfort, so she got up quickly, saying, ‘And now I must find Georgie. He’s promised I may see the dolls’ house.’
As she reached the door, Miles said, ‘By the way, it’s Georgie’s birthday tomorrow. He’s seven.’ He sighed. ‘He says he doesn’t want a party, not whilst Philip – ’ he gestured helplessly.
But Charlotte smiled. ‘Perfect,’ she said. ‘We’ll have a party in Philip’s room.’
Philip’s recovery took many weeks, but, with encouragement from his father and brothers and firmness from Charlotte, he made progress, albeit slowly. Charlotte was the one he shouted and raved at. It was she who could answer him back and fire him to anger. But it was intentional. She knew that was the only way to make him try. Tempered with understanding and gentleness when it was needed, she roused him back to a life worth living.
The day, in early June, when Philip walked outside on to the terrace at the side of the house caused great rejoicing. Georgie hopped up and down, whilst Ben walked beside him, giving Philip his shoulder to lean on. Miles watched with quiet thankfulness, and as for Charlotte, she turned away with tears in her eyes. Her job here was done and she could make a decision about her own future. But she was devastated that she now had no excuse to come to the manor most days. No more excuse to see and be near Miles.
Life at Buckthorn Farm had settled down into its old routine. In some ways little had changed, but in others nothing was the same. She still had Mary and Edward, as before, and her father had slipped back into his domineering ways. For the moment, she went along with it, but she missed the Warren family. Eddie Norton was a good worker and willing, but he hadn’t got Joe’s knowledge or devotion to Buckthorn Farm. And she missed Jackson’s teasing and John’s solid, dependable presence. She went often to Purslane Farm to see them, but it was not the same as seeing them every day, working with them and laughing with them.
And now she missed the Thorntons. All of them, but especially Miles.
‘But nothing will ever come of it,’ she murmured as she sat alone in the corner of her bedroom where she did her watercolour painting. ‘I’d do better to resign myself to spinsterhood than waste my life yearning for something that will never be.’
Letters came frequently from her mother, but were always addressed to Mary. Her father would not open those addressed to their servants but he’d always opened any with his daughter’s name on the envelope.
‘And who’s writing to you?’ he’d say. ‘That curate or some other schemer who has his eyes on my fortune?’
Euphemia wrote too, reminding Charlotte that there was always a home with them. But something held her here and it was not just her desire to see Philip well again. No, Miles filled her mind and her heart and that, more than anything else, kept her at Buckthorn Farm. Even though she now had a gateway to freedom and a new life, she no longer wanted it.
Forty-Three
‘Could I have a word with you, Miss Charlotte?’ Eddie was standing before her desk in the farm office, twisting his cap round and round between nervous fingers.
‘Of course, Eddie. What is it? Something wrong?’
‘Not – not really, miss. At least, I hope you won’t think so.’ He paused, bit his lip and then burst out. ‘Me an’ Lily want to get wed, miss, and quick, like, afore the babby comes. ’Tis due at the end of June.’
‘Eddie, that’s wonderful news. But you’ll have to be quick.’ She laughed. ‘Lily’s the size of an elephant now.’ Then her face sobered. ‘Are you sure – both of you? It’s a big step and – and to take on another man’s child . . .’
‘I’m sure, miss. Lily took a bit of persuading, like. And her mam and dad, but they’re all happy about it. Even me ma. She dun’t mind. Ses she’ll like havin’ a little ’un to spoil and she’s not the sort to mek a difference because it’s not mine. She loves kids.’
‘I think that’s wonderful news. So what’s the problem?’
‘There’s a couple, really. One is that although Lily’s mam and dad say there’s plenty of room at Purslane Farm for us to live with them – ’ He paused and twisted the cap faster and faster. Taking pity on him, Charlotte said, ‘You’d like to start married life as you mean to go on? In a place of your own?’
‘That’s about the size of it, miss, yes.’
‘That’s easily solved. Since you’re employed on Buckthorn Farm, you can have the Warrens’ cottage. I did offer it to you before and it’s still empty.’
Eddie beamed. ‘And would you mind me mam living with us?’
‘Of course not. But I thought she wanted to stay in the house where she’s always lived?’
The young man shrugged. ‘She ses she’ll not know what to do wi’ ’ersen. Never lived on her own, see. But she’d be willing to do jobs around Buckthorn Farm and here – in the farmhouse – if Mrs Morgan ever wanted any help.’
‘I’m sure Mary’d be delighted. I know she’s missed Peggy’s help. So, that’s settled then. You can move in whenever you like. So, what was the other problem?’
Eddie’s face sobered again. ‘Telling Mr Thornton, miss. After all, Lily’s bairn is his grandchild.’
Charlotte stared at him, unsure where this conversation was leading. ‘You mean – you expect him to help support the child?’
‘Oh no, miss.’ Eddie looked hurt. ‘I wouldn’t want anyone to think that of us. We don’t want money. We want nothing from them except – approval, I suppose. And I’d like to know what they want us to tell the little ’un as it grows up, like. Mesen, I’d believe in being honest and telling it the truth, but mebbe the Thorntons wouldn’t like that. I want the kiddie to have my name, an’ all. Just so it doesn’t get called horrible names as it’s growin’ up.’ He shrugged. ‘See, folks round here have got long memories. If we’re not honest with it, poor little thing’ll likely be told in the playground, don’t you think?’
‘Eddie Norton, you are a remarkable young man,’ Charlotte said. ‘And I’m sorry if you think I thought badly of you. I didn’t and I don’t. The reason I said what I did was because Miles Thornton himself said he’d always see that Lily and her child were provided for.’
‘I see, miss. Well, there’s no need. I’ll look after it as if it were me own. I promise you – an’ him – that, and mebbe, if we’m blessed,’ the young man twisted his cap even faster in embarrassment, ‘we’ll have some little brothers and sisters for him or her one day.’
‘I hope you will, Eddie.’
Charlotte pondered for a couple of days on how best to broach the subject with Miles, but she knew she couldn’t put it off for long. The quiet marriage ceremony was to take place at eight o’clock the following Saturday, for Lily’s baby was due any time and Eddie was determined that the child, in the eyes of the world at least, should not be born illegitimate. Not many folks knew the identity of the natural father and Eddie was more than happy to take the responsibility. To outsiders, he’d be seen to be ‘doing the right thing’ by the girl he’d got pregnant.
They met by accident on an early morning ride on the beach. Charlotte’s h
eart turned over as she saw the familiar figures of Miles and Midnight cantering along the firm sand at the water’s edge. He saw her and rode towards her. After greeting each other, they rode for a while in companionable silence.
It was Miles who opened the subject she was finding difficult to broach by asking, ‘What’s this I hear about Lily and Eddie Norton getting married? Is it true?’
She glanced at him, trying to read his expression. Was he pleased or angry? But his face told her nothing.
‘Yes, it’s true. On Saturday at eight in the morning.’
He nodded. ‘I suppose it’s just family, is it?’
‘Mm.’ There was a pause before she said, ‘Actually, I wanted to come and talk to you about it, but I’ve been putting it off.’
‘Oh? Why?’
‘Well – I wasn’t sure how you’d feel.’
He sighed. ‘I’m pleased for her.’ His voice hardened a little. ‘Since my own son refused to do the honourable thing.’
Charlotte smiled weakly, anxious not to get into that particular discussion again. ‘Eddie wants the child to have his name but he wants to know if you’d have any objection to it being told the truth, when it’s old enough of course. He promises he’ll bring the child up as his own and no difference will ever be made between it and any more children they might have together. It’s just that he doesn’t want the child to hear playground gossip when it’s older. He believes in honesty from the start.’
Miles was thoughtful for so long that she began to grow agitated, thinking that he disapproved in some way.
‘He’s a remarkable young man,’ he murmured at last.
‘Yes – I told him that. But he wanted your approval. That’s what he said. Your approval.’
‘Charlotte, would you ask him to come and see me? I’d like to talk to him, but reassure him, he has my blessing on everything he is planning.’
‘There’s just one thing I ought to mention. He’s not looking for financial help. In fact, when I half suggested it, he was most indignant.’
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