by Mila Young
Fear dances down my skin and wraps around me tighter. His gaze deepens, and he never blinks. I could easily get lost in the depths of those eyes. The longer we remain this way, the more flashes of dread slash through me. Urgency drums in my veins that my time is running out.
Panic clings to my insides.
My arms tremble.
Coldness grips me with its touch.
I can’t let Sayah out... I need to control her. I’m gasping for air. I stare into his eyes and lick my lips, temptation just within reach. “And if I do?” I breathe.
He takes a hand from his pocket and stretches it out toward me. He doesn’t have to say anything. My hand reaches for him of its own accord.
Fingers touch.
A spark jumps up my arm so fast, I don’t have time to react. Instead, flashes of light ignite in my mind. And for a long pause, I can no longer feel my body. It’s like there’s no weight to me, no heart pounding ferociously, no fear. Only a darkness lingering at the edges of my mind.
It consumes me, swallows me.
“Don’t fight it.” His deep voice streams over my mind.
Except I’m shaking and terrified. It doesn’t feel like Sayah is backing away, but shoving forward inside me, growing and growing.
His lips are moving, and I want to listen to his words, but it’s too hard. Only the sharp swishing sound in my ears finds me… the sound of grating sandpaper, scraping raw.
I grip his hand, my fingers digging into his as my knees buckle.
Darkness rolls over me like undulating waves, crashing into me, dragging me deeper.
A sudden thudding of boots hitting the ground echoes around me, pulling my attention away from the angel and to the woods to my right. Light flashes in my mind, and I stumble before I fall to my knees.
Frantically, I glance back, but the angel is gone.
Instead, a hulking figure rushes toward me.
In seconds, Elias emerges from the shadows in the tree line, his face contorting with distress. “Aria,” he calls to me, alarm lining his voice. “Are you alright?”
My thoughts are thick, like molasses, impossible to flick through.
Elias is at my side, and I’m off the ground and in his arms in seconds.
The angel. Where is he? What has he done to me?
“Talk to me,” Elias insists, drawing my attention to him.
“I feel like I’m falling,” I manage.
“I’ve got you.”
“No,” I persist, my mind slurry. “In my head I’m falling.”
In moments, I’m in my bed, and Elias sits next to me. “You fell and must have hit your head. Why were outside on your own?”
His questions muffle when I try to make sense of them. All I know is that I shake off the torrent of darkness in my head, the sensation of Sayah hovering just below the surface, waiting for her turn.
Elias strokes my hair. “Everything will be okay,” he reassures me. “You need to rest.”
Maybe he’s right. I lay my head on the pillow, closing my eyes as he keeps running his fingers through my hair. There’s something soothing about his presence, and I let myself slip under his hypnotic touch.
Chapter Eighteen
Aria
My knuckles go white as I hold the hairbrush, staring at myself in the mirror. All I can think about is the angel. His touch did something to me I don’t understand. He said he’d help with my darkness, but it doesn’t quite feel that way. Unless it takes a while?
I slept most of yesterday, which has made me feel better. Though something inside still feels odd, like I don’t quite fit together. And I can’t shake it off. I’ve always held control over myself, but ever since Sayah went AWOL, I’ve struggled to shake off the strange sensation that something isn’t right with me. Except now it’s like she’s awake all the time inside me, like I’ve opened up a door I don’t know how to shut. Normally, she’s in the background.
Dropping the hairbrush into the sink, I huff with frustration and head out of the bathroom. I’ve checked the woods from my window most of the morning, but there’s no sign of the angel. I want answers, but he’s not there.
On top of everything, I had a dream about the ‘abandoned’ list we found in the hospital. And now the need to uncover what happened to me as a baby presses on my mind. Maybe it’s for the best that I focus on something other than the darkening cobwebs clinging to my insides.
Cassiel pads across the bed and headbutts my arm, so I lift it so he can crawl onto my lap. I swoop him up into my arms and press him close to my chest. He rubs the side of his head against me, and I adore how soft he feels, how affectionate he behaves. It’s exactly what I need right now… a hug.
“You’re so cute, you know that,” I whisper, gaining myself a faint purr as he remains attached to me.
I sit here, unable to stop my mind from whirring or the feeling that I’m balancing on the edge of a cliff I’m about to plunge off of.
Except, I can’t think like that. I won’t let it get the better of me. So I focus on Cain taking me to the hospital. He didn’t have to do that, but he did.
How can I overlook such a meaningful gesture?
That last thought has me climbing to my feet. I know exactly how I can dig deeper into my past, and it’s something I should have done earlier. I step into my sneakers, still cradling Cassiel, and we head out into the hallway to search for Cain.
It isn’t long before I track him down in the parlor, staring aimlessly into the fireplace.
He glances my way when I step inside to join him, raising a questioning eyebrow as his gaze falls to Cassiel, who has his head propped on my shoulder.
“He loves snuggles,” I confess.
“I thought we agreed it stays in your room,” he responds. “And how are you feeling?”
“Much better.” I lie a little because if I admit there’s still a weird sensation in my head, he won’t let me go anywhere. “Also, this is Cassiel’s home too, and he should be allowed to roam freely.”
As I round the couch, I find Dorian lying on his back, legs crossed at the ankles and his hands behind his head.
“Ahh, my two favorite felines,” he teases, and I roll my eyes.
Then I set Cassiel down on his legs. The lynx quickly leaps up onto the back of the sofa and arches his back.
Dorian reaches over and scratches him under the chin, which Cassiel adores, pushing himself against Dorian’s touch.
“Why are you encouraging that thing?” Elias sneers as he saunters into the room. Seems the whole gang’s here, which doesn’t deter me from asking them my question.
“I’ve always had a way with felines. What can I say,” Dorian answers and winks at me.
“Didn’t we say it was staying in your room?” Elias says, and I cut him a hard stare. “And Aria, are you okay to be wandering around? You fell over yesterday.”
“I was just telling Cain and Dorian I’m feeling brand new,” I say chirpily. “And I don’t agree with Cassiel being locked up. Maybe we need to get him a few scratching posts around the house.” I shrug.
Elias gives a fake laugh. “What next? A cat flap in our door and milk bowls all over? For all we know, it has fleas or other bugs.”
Dorian pushes himself up from the couch. “Really? You’re worried the cat has fleas when you spend days sleeping out in the wild in hellhound form?”
“Fuck you!” Elias snaps. “I take showers when I get back.”
The air thickens, and my intention isn’t to create a storm due to my new pet.
“Look, next time we go shopping, one of us will pick up flea and worming tablets. I’m sure the cat ones will work the same on Cassiel. Problem solved,” I say.
“Is there also something to stop it from tearing up my clothes?” Elias huffs. “Without making our house look like a cat cafe? Goddammit, we’d become a laughingstock if anyone from back home saw us sharing our home with a tiny fluff ball. Seriously.”
I ignore his impatience with accepting Cassiel be
cause he isn’t going anywhere, which is only confirmed when no one responds. I take the moment to change gears while smiling at them. “I was hoping we could talk about something else,” I say, sweeping my gaze to each of them, settling on Cain.
“Go on,” he says as Dorian sits on one side of the sofa while Elias moves to stand near the wall with the bookshelves, arms folded over his chest.
“Ever since Cain and I found that note in the hospital in Illinois, I feel like I’m missing something major about my parents. And I’m thinking that I need to check everything again, including talking to my friend Joseline. She lived at Murray’s the longest of us all. She knew him the best. There’s a chance he might have said something to her. Even the smallest thing might help me find out why my parents abandoned me.” I finally take a breath.
“So you want to visit your friend?” Cain asks, which I thought was pretty obvious. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea. You haven’t been well.”
I straighten my shoulders. “She should be home unless her work schedule’s changed. Like I said, I really am feeling better. I miss her, and maybe that’s part of why I haven’t been great. I just need a small getaway.” Part of me thinks if I return to the familiarity of my friend, it might also help shake off the strangeness in my body.
Cain blinks at me, and I see the wheels spinning behind his gaze. Softness sweeps over his expression when he says, “It might be a good idea.”
His smile reminds me of our time away when he showed me a side of himself I’ve never seen before. A side I adore.
Dorian narrows his eyes at Cain. Apparently even he is taken aback.
“Elias,” Cain states. “You will accompany Aria. While you’re out, buy some cat tablets, or whatever will ensure our house isn’t infested with fleas.”
When I turn to Elias, shadows gather under his eyes as he stares at Cassiel, who is prancing toward him along one of the bookshelves. Elias’s upper lip curls upward, a growl rolling out.
Cassiel suddenly catapults himself at him, claws first.
I freeze on the spot, same as the others, as we watch the spectacle. Elias jolts away from the shelves to escape Cassiel’s grip, but it’s too late. Cassiel has latched himself to his arm, claws digging into his clothes and skin to hold on.
Dorian howls with laughter, while Cain just shakes his head.
Elias hisses and snatches Cassiel by the scruff, plucking the cat off him. Tiny holes appear in the sleeve of his tee, along with spots of blood. “It just attacked me! You all saw that! It needs to be locked up.”
I hurry over and collect Cassiel into my arms. “Don’t be so dramatic. He just wanted to snuggle you.”
He gives me a deadpan stare. “Yeah right. Snuggle me with its claws.” He pulls at the sleeve of his shirt, now punctured, and sighs heavily. “I’m going to change. Meet you out front in ten, and don’t bring that thing with you,” he snarls.
“Geez,” I say, watching him storm out of the room. “Someone’s in a crappy mood. It’s only a lynx.”
Dorian sidles up to me and collects Cassiel into his arms. “Ignore him. He’s not a pet person.”
“There’s just one thing,” I say to him, gaining his attention. “I need to borrow a phone to message Joseline. I don't know exactly where she lives.”
Dorian doesn’t waste a moment and hands me his phone, and I hastily punch her a quick message about me visiting.
Two seconds later, his cell phone pings. Joseline sent half a dozen lines of excited emojis followed by her address, which I memorize as I smile at her response. “Thanks.” And I hand it back to him.
Cain approaches me as Dorian heads over to sit by the fire with Cassiel. “Just a quick trip. There and back, understood? Tonight, we’re all going out somewhere, and I want you rested beforehand.”
“Where are we going?”
He exchanges a knowing glance with Dorian and looks back to me. “You’ll find out once you return with Elias.”
In ten minutes, Elias and I are sitting in the back of the limousine, the driver taking us farther from the mansion. Lofty trees with leaves already yellowing from the colder weather approaching pepper the landscape. There is literally nothing out here but wilderness.
I turn to Elias, who stares at me rather than at the landscape. He’s changed into a long-sleeve blue button-up shirt that pulls taut over his chest. The fabric curves over his biceps, and well, there is absolutely nothing small about Elias. And I mean nothing. The thought of us in the woods heats my cheeks, and I swallow hard, steering my thoughts elsewhere.
“So, the limo, hey. You didn’t feel like driving? I mean, I’d be happy to give it a go.”
He eyes me without a single reaction. Is he still pissed about the whole ‘Cassiel pouncing on him’ thing? “I don’t drive.”
“Don’t like to drive or can’t?”
“Latter. Never saw the need. I only go into town when I’m on one of Cain’s errands.”
“Me too. Well, not the Cain part. I didn’t get my licence because it costs so much and I never had the money, or access to a car, for that matter.” I half shrug. “Public transport did the trick back in town.”
He leans forward, bent arms resting on his thighs. “What are you really hoping to uncover from your friend?”
I sit back in my seat and lick my lips, curious about his question. “You make it sound like I have an ulterior motive. You were there when I explained why.”
“I heard, and Cain informed us about the list you found at the hospital. But I’m curious why finding out about your past is suddenly so crucial. Makes me wonder if maybe you have other questions for your friend.”
I narrow my gaze in his direction. “You don’t trust me?”
“That’s not what I said.” He blinks a couple of times, his gaze slicing into me. I was grossly not expecting this grilling from Elias.
“Why are you all grizzly today? Are you angry at the cat shredding your sleeve?”
His face scrunches up as if that’s the last thing on his mind. Okay, so it’s not that.
He suddenly pulls back and reclines in his seat.
I lean forward, reaching across to place my hand on his. After our time in the woods, I know we have a connection, so I hope to tap into that. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” he responds instantly. “I just don’t want any surprises—I’m trying to keep you safe. And I’m worried about you and how you’ve been recently. I want to ensure you are feeling one hundred percent in doing this.”
His answer is not what I expected. “Oh, you’re worried about me.”
He places his hand on mine, trapping it against his thigh as he pulls in closer to me. “Is that so hard to fathom?”
Tingles rush up my arm from where he touches me, and now, no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop thinking about him claiming me in the woods. His dominance, his obsession. I can’t deny that his presence alone leaves me buzzing with a rising desire. Suddenly, I’m studying the curve of his mouth, remembering his rough kisses and how incredible they felt. Somehow, that earlier fog in my head clears up when it comes to everything Elias.
His thumb strokes the back of my hand, and my body tingles. “I adore the way your body reacts to me. Your pupils dilate, your nipples press against the fabric of your dress. It’s beautiful.”
Fire streaks across my chest, and a flash of arousal clenches between my thighs. A single touch, a few words, and I’m putty in his hands. How did we even get to this point when moments earlier he seemed to be brooding?
Despite the unbearable need coursing through me, I slide my hand from his. Yay for me in having a semblance of self-control.
“Around you, I lose my thoughts and control,” he admits, his fingers curling around my hand, having no intention of releasing me. “I don’t know what’s come over me half the time, but aside from being unable to stop thinking about grabbing you over my lap and fucking you right now, I want to keep you safe. That’s why I asked earlier. I am on your side.”
My thoughts glide back and forth between thinking straight and the cobwebs blurring my thoughts. Every inch of me hums under his attention, and his words seem genuine. The thing is, I don’t for a moment doubt he wants to keep me protected. The issue is more about his true intentions. Does he see me as a means to an end, a way to get relics? Or are his actions spurred by his motivation to return to Hell?
I hate that such doubt swirls in my head, and I wish for things to be simple. Except there is nothing straightforward when it comes to these demons, is there?
“You still carry doubt,” he says, pulling me forward by my hand. “Come to me.”
“Umm why.” My voice trembles, but it doesn’t stop me from leaning closer. Large hands fall to my hips, and he practically lifts me off my seat, bringing me to him. My hands snap to his shoulders, and his legs are pressed together, forcing mine to straddle him. Our chests press together, and my insides tighten. I glance to the black glass between us and the driver.
“You were too far from me.” He chuckles, and I lower my gaze to meet his. “Do you have any fucking idea how irresistible you are?”
I struggle to believe him. My track record with guys is almost non-existent, yet around these demons, I feel like a goddess. “I don’t think that’s true,” I say. “You three are the hottest men I’ve ever laid eyes on, but I don’t quite understand what you see in me.”
With one hand, he cups the side of my face and brings me closer so our lips graze. The heat from him envelopes me, and a growl rumbles in his chest.
“Hear that?” he asks.
I nod. “I even felt it in your body.”
He takes my hand and places my palm flush with the center of his chest. “Hellhounds connect with others through their animal side as well as their human side. My hound has been drawn to you from the beginning. He’s claimed you. That is why I won’t let you out of my sights, why you will always be mine, why I will hunt you down if you ever run. I’ve already bonded with you.”