by Jen Valena
The lizard leaped up onto Ithia’s body, then merged into her abdomen at her bellybutton. Ithia threw Tyrsten a quick, desperate expression before she slipped into unconsciousness.
Tyrsten hadn’t seen the reason for her passing out. He feared a psychic attack. He pleaded with her. His cheek pressed against hers. “Please, wake!”
Ithia was in one of her Dreamscapes—a playground that she would visit as a child. A swing set, jungle gym, and a slide stood before her as she had dreamt of them so many times before.
Lizard stared unblinkingly at Ithia.
“What am I doing here?”
“Dreaming. I am your dreamer.”
“You’re another one of my Animal spirits?”
“Exactly. Your strongest dominion is over the Dreamtime.”
“And why have you made me dream now?”
“We dream so that we may reveal our life in a deeper context, processing information that we cannot accept in our waking life. Here, my dear dreamer, we have access to the subtlety of perception. We can hear and see what others may miss.”
“I’ve done that in my waking life—well, to some degree.”
“And I applaud your efforts, this skill must be fully integrated into your waking life—your intuitiveness. You will need this as you move forward. Listen to what is conveyed and sense what is not openly revealed.”
Ithia noticed the lizard’s tail was gone. He wasn’t without it a moment before. “Why is your tail missing now?”
“Ah! Good, good, good! You are paying attention! Detachment. That is another lesson I must share with you. I am able to release my past, break from dangerous ties.”
“Is that why I am here in a place from my childhood?”
“Yes! Do not allow yourself to be attached to outcomes, memories, desires and even people.”
“How am I going to do that? When you love someone, you are attached.”
“Yes, but tell me, if it were in Tyrsten’s best interest to move on without you, would you let him go?”
“It would be hard, but yes. That is why I left him at the cabin.”
“Desire overwhelms judgment. Be wary of holding onto what does not exist.”
“Is that comment about my brother? Are you saying Rainor will betray me?”
“Allow what shall unfold to unfold.”
“Ithia?”
She moaned at her realization, No wonder most of my life has been spent unconscious, always passing out—I’m a dreamer. Sleeping is my superpower, she chuckled to herself. “How long was I out?”
“A few moments.” Tyrsten removed leaves from her hair.
“At least I didn’t lose a whole day of my life this time.”
“Not funny.” Frustration reared in him. “What happened?”
“I’m officially suffering from Multiple Spirit Animal Disorder.” She offered an awkward smirk.
Tyrsten frowned in puzzlement.
She rolled her eyes. “Now—I have Lizard.”
“You have four animals? That is unheard of.”
“I must need a lot more help.”
“Do you mind sharing Lizard’s message?”
“Pay attention. Don’t get attached.”
“Wise words.”
“You say that because you don’t trust Rainor.”
“We have no reason to trust him.”
Since he missed the implication, she said, “The warning could also pertain to you.”
“I see.” Tyrsten stood up to separate himself from the hurt. “You should focus your attention on the immediate threat—Rainor’s motives.”
“I’m uncertain of anyone’s real motivations. My instincts tell me that my entire existence has been a series of manipulations.” Ithia peered off into the distance. The crispness of her sight further dissipated. Either her eyes were failing or the world itself was getting blurrier by the moment.
He noticed her inability to focus. “Are you all right?”
“Fine.” She resigned to concentrate on an easier focal point—his face.
“Rainor does keep something from us,” Tyrsten said.
Ithia nodded, reluctantly.
“That makes me nervous.”
She was well aware that all parties concerned were guilty of secrecy in some fashion.
Footfalls approached. Rainor hurried toward them with Huldo in tow. Tyrsten and Ithia shared a thought that they should silence their mouths and their minds.
Emerging from the shrubbery, Rainor saw that Ithia had obviously taken a tumble. “Ithia, are you all right? I sensed something amiss with Tyrsten.”
Stepping in front of Tyrsten, Rainor helped her to her feet, and caught sight of her Magian pendant, jostled from its usual hiding place under her clothes. He hungrily reached out to touch it—but stopped himself.
Tyrsten and Ithia noticed a glow in Rainor’s eyes when he saw the pendant.
“Where did you get that?”
“Why?” Ithia tucked it back under her blouse.
“No reason.” Rainor wrenched his attention back to her face. “Are you hurt?”
“Just slipped. I’m a bit clumsy at times.”
Rainor chuckled. “It must run in the family.”
20 ✹ Solar Illuminations
The Present shimmered and cut my eye with its light.
I measured the dark day at noon when there was no sun.
I slowed down time and bent it back, folding upon myself.
— Ithia Sydran
Ithia couldn’t deny what Tyrsten had said about Rainor. Something was off. Rainor’s explanations of what he had done to her and his decisions mostly added up, but it seemed he always functioned for his own benefit. He admitted all his treacheries with excuses.
Her vision wavered even more. Objects wobbled and distorted. Colors dissipated. When she shook her head and concentrated, her perception would correct itself, but only for a moment.
At times, she thought she saw beyond an object, as if it were a mask for a greater reality. But that made no sense to her.
Her body temperature now fluctuated unpredictably. Although it was still cold outside, a heat came from deep within her, as if her body was fending off some virus.
Ithia said nothing of her condition. She even limited her contact with Tyrsten and Rainor as they would be the first to figure out her deception.
Could she trust either of them with her issue?
Instead of confiding, she retreated further into her own mind, hardly speaking to anyone.
It was Huldo who noticed Ithia’s strange behavior and asked Tyrsten, “Ithia is not herself. Is Rainor responsible?”
“He started her troubles. Her insides swirl with emotions. She is uncertain who to trust. She questions everything. With all that she faces, and all that she has gone through, I do not fault Ithia for having doubts.”
“How long can we let her go on like this?”
“She must determine that.”
Huldo dragged his fingers through his hair to rid himself of misgivings. “Do nothing? But I cannot see her suffer like this.”
“I cannot change her mind. She distrusts me now.”
Huldo shook his head. “I will talk with her.” He rallied his charming nature and located Ithia perched on a precipice of a jagged cliff.
“Hey Hu,” she greeted, without turning to see his approach. Her gaze sprawled wide out over the valley below—unable to focus on any one object. She thought, at least I was able to sense his energy.
“I see your Sight is still intact.” He laughed to put her at ease.
She squirmed, anxious if he suspected the truth of her condition—her Sight was vanishing.
“How are you, my friend?”
“As well as can be expected,” Ithia said. “Don’t take my silence as neglecting you. I have never questioned your concern for me. I just hope the beliefs you follow haven’t led us astray.”
“Are you questioning the Magian path?”
“I’m questioning everyone’s motives
, even my own.”
“Tyrsten has nothing but your highest good in mind.”
“Why did he become a Magian? Why would anyone become a Magian, but for power over people and their choices?”
“He wants to help people discover their path. Power is not the only motivator in life. And it is not Tyrsten’s.”
“What might Tyrsten have gained by making me Sidari? And Rainor!” Ithia threw her hands in the air. “This is such a mess! Rainor’s intentions are unclear, but he makes me question Tyrsten. Magians! I shouldn’t trust any of them.”
“You became a Magian, because that was within you. Tyrsten just revealed it, not for his personal gain.” Huldo’s face flushed with frustration. “He could not make you one if you were not one already.”
“Is that for certain? What are Magians truly capable of? I fear it is much more than they wanted others to discover.” Ithia understood Huldo would never question his brother’s honor. But even Tyrsten could be a pawn in some sinister cosmic game.
Unsure of what else to say to comfort her, Huldo left Ithia to sit alone on the edge of the cliff.
If her eyes failed, her body and mind would likely follow their lead.
The corner of her vision caught something coming toward her. She recognized the small creature’s signature bounce.
“Frog? What are you doing here?”
“We are all here for you. All you have to do is ask for us.”
“I’m not in the habit of asking for help, especially from spirit guides.” She frowned. “But—what is happening to me?”
“You dived into your emotions. You are adept at avoiding them, but now you have leapt completely into them and cannot see a way out.”
“What good are feelings when they clutter up everything?”
“When swimming in a sea of emotions, you must dive deeper in order to experience the magnitude of what exists, but you must also surface for the clarity of air.”
“The surface for me now would be to stop hiding out here—have enough clarity to pick a direction.” In that instant, Ithia made up her mind to find out the secrets that had been kept from her all her life. She must dive into what scared her, just as Frog had persuaded her to dive into the Callow River. She could uncover most of these secrets in one place—where Tyrsten had kept her from thus far—the Astroan Palace.
Rainor had disclosed the Palace’s approximate location to her days before. As Fate would have it, they had moved closer to its position every day since Rainor’s addition to the group. This might have been Rainor’s master plan, or perhaps even her own subconscious maneuver.
Fate drew her closer to her end.
When she thought about it, she realized that she had felt called to Astroan since she had first arrived on Ma’thea. Something or someone awaited her there, and it wasn’t Garrick. Yes, someone else was hidden behind the locked door that appeared over and over in her dreams.
While on her watch in the dead of night, she allowed her horse to wander a good distance from the camp, mentally guiding it in the direction of the Palace. No one suspected her plan. As they all slept, she abandoned her post and caught up with her horse.
Ithia rode alone, but it felt odd to do so. Once she was out of Tyrsten and Rainor’s range of psychic perception, she drove her horse hard, thundering into the night. She didn’t dare stop.
✹ ✹ ✹
Dawn cracked like a bullwhip over the sky.
Tyrsten awoke.
Immediately, he knew Ithia was missing. He scanned the area, but she was nowhere to be seen. He tried to remain calm as he psychically surveyed the land around their camp. Again, nothing.
“Huldo! Feron! Rainor! She is gone!”
Rainor was the first to wake. “What do you mean—gone?”
Huldo blinked his eyes to adjust to waking life. “Signs of a struggle?”
Rainor glanced around. “Tyrsten or I would have sensed a presence, even in our sleep.”
Tyrsten rushed at Rainor. “Where—is—she?”
Rainor stood his ground and glared back. “I do not know.”
“You were behind the other Magian disappearances—somehow. Now this.”
“If I were responsible, I would be with her. I do not want her to be by herself right now. She is confused.”
“Because of you!”
“Her turmoil encompasses more than merely me.” Rainor noticed the absence of Ithia’s belongings. “She left of her own accord.”
“This is madness!” Tyrsten spun away in frustration, then turned back and grabbed Rainor’s arm. “If I find out you had anything to do with this, I will—”
“You will—what?” He lunged back at Tyrsten, midnight eye to midnight eye. “You will kill me?”
“Enough!” Huldo sliced his way between the verbally sparring Magians. “Every moment wasted arguing is another she moves farther away.”
“But where?” Tyrsten raised his brow in thought. “Oh, no. Did she know how to locate Astroan?”
“I mentioned its location was not far from here the other day,” Rainor confessed.
“Of all the Stars!” Tyrsten yelled, “Why would you do that?”
“I did not know she would do this.” Rainor shook his head. “However, she would have taken the route along the main path. I know a faster way.”
✹ ✹ ✹
Ithia traveled swiftly the rest of the night and into the next day.
As she rode with renewed convictions, she gathered strength with each mile. The constant fog of her malaise lifted. Her vision sharpened with every stride toward Astroan. Her face soaked up the return of the sun. She reveled in the crisp wind—awaking her senses.
As Astroan appeared on the horizon, she had to face the fact that she had no plan. She slowed her horse to a stop, dismounted, left the horse far behind and sat down, just beyond range of the Astroan watchmen. She wrapped her arms around her knees and prayed for a strategy.
From her elevated vantage point, she could survey the Palace and its surrounding village, dotted with buildings that had likely once been used by Magians for libraries, dormitories, and study or meditation halls. At the heart of the enclosed settlement was a massive circular building, the Main Palace, with several large attached structures radiating out from it like spokes. At the center of the hub was a glass dome that capped a circular roof and reflected the blue sky. According to Rainor, this grand hall was where Garrick spent most of his time.
The same symbols that graced the temple at Tyrsten’s Vihar covered the fortress-like block walls encompassing the small town inside. The markings reminded Ithia that only twenty years ago this place had belonged to the Magian Elders—their capital, where they met and discussed their practices. Rainor had explained that Garrick had made taking over their headquarters his first priority to cut off much of the Magians’ influence amongst the people. It had worked wonderfully to his advantage. Many of the High Elder Magians had been taken prisoner immediately. The Magians that escaped continued their rule from elsewhere, but they were weakened. As the years passed and Magian loyalty still persisted, Garrick became desperate to solidify his legacy. His solution was to use Ithia.
Ithia cringed at being someone’s puppet. She wondered how Garrick predicted that she, of all the Ma’thean women, would become a Magian? He had an advantage over her in more ways than one.
The heavy security of the Palace walls squashed her renewed gumption.
Ithia sensed a soldier approaching on horseback. A cluster of rocks shielded her as he approached.
He stopped mere feet from her hiding spot.
The man turned his horse, slowly scanning the area for something amiss.
Employing her Magian skills, Ithia endeavored to shield her presence from the soldier. Nolan’s face flashed in Ithia’s mind.
The soldier’s horse stepped closer.
Lying on her back, Ithia dared to peek. She recognized the soldier’s profile. She made the leap of faith that Fate would not bring her this far to fail her no
w.
Ithia stood up to reveal her position.
Nolan’s startled horse jostled him backwards.
Ithia said with calm command, speaking to his ego, “Will you be a Hero? If your answer is yes, aid me now.”
Nolan’s chest rose in pride. “I will.”
“Can you sneak me into the Palace so that I may gain the element of surprise? I feel there is someone hidden inside I need to find before I can deal with Garrick.”
“There is an unguarded passage that few use. I will take you, making sure the way is clear. After I check in from my rounds, I will return and assist you in locating this person.”
“Thank you.”
“Do not thank me. I owe you. I was wrong to take you against your will.” Nolan briefly lowered his head in shame. “And I must ask, where is Tyrsten? Why is he not here?”
“I had to leave them all behind.”
“Then I will not fail you again.”
Nolan extended his hand for her to join him on his horse. They rode around the fortress walls to the secret entrance. Nolan peeked inside, and then escorted her down a hall and into a small chamber, the size of a walk-in closet. “Wait for me here. I must check in from patrol. I will be quick.”
The confining size of the room and the task that lay before her triggered her claustrophobia. Ithia sat down and did something she hadn’t done in a while. She meditated.
The clear voice of Jaguar said, “Find your center. Do not panic.”
Once calm, Ithia allowed her mind to wander and probe the Palace—to get the lay of the land. Her consciousness drifted along corridors until she descended a long, concealed hallway. At the end, she reached a large, metal door. Just like her dream of this same door, it was locked, even on the astral plane. This was the mysterious room she needed to find. Someone inside had answers. Someone inside had been calling Ithia here since she had arrived on Ma’thea.