Bang Gang

by Jade West

  “Leave it, Jimmy,” Buck said. “Just fucking leave it.”

  “I won’t fucking leave it,” Jimmy said. “He told us to fucking do it, now he’s got his frilly fucking knickers in a twist. Do the crime, take the time. Don’t like what went down, suck it up and get fucking on with it.”

  I glared at him. “Are you quite fucking finished?”

  He nodded, gave me the usual Jimmy O swagger. “Yeah, I’m finished,” he said. “Just telling it like it is.”

  I took a drag on my cigarette then stubbed it out, made my way back over to them. “This is how it fucking is,” I said. “We’re taking a break for a few weeks, I’m booking in nothing til mid-November.”

  “Why?” Hugh asked. “Christmas is coming, was counting on the cash for that.”

  I shrugged. “You’ll have plenty of backlog to catch up on before Christmas, Hugh. Overtime here, too. The diary’s rammed full of car shit.”

  “This is bullshit,” Jimmy snapped. “Putting the dampeners on everything just because you can’t get your dick in fucking line.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” I barked. “Got no fucking problem with my dick, Jimmy.”

  He laughed. “Yeah right, mate. Don’t think we didn’t fucking notice your little erectile dysfunction issues last week.”

  “You’re talking fucking shit,” I said. “Did I look like I had erectile dysfunction issues this fucking weekend, Jimmy?”

  He shrugged. “You sat on the reserves bench for most of it, how would we fucking know?” Buck shook his head, told Jimmy to leave it, but Jimmy was on a roll. “Why don’t you pop some little blue pills and get over yourself? Save us all the fucking bullshit.”

  “Why don’t you just shut your fucking mouth before I shut it for you?” I said.

  “You want a piece?” Jimmy said. He dropped his spanner, slapped his hands on his chest. “It’s not my fucking fault your missus wanted my fucking dick, Trent. You just gotta deal with that shit.”

  I pictured Jodie riding Jimmy’s cock, his grubby hands on her waist. His face between her legs. I was up and at him before he’d really prepared for it, but Buck pre-empted me, pushed his way between us while Hugh grabbed hold of Jimmy. I swung for him but I was too far back, too many fucking bodies in the way to get a punch in.

  “What the fuck?!” Buck yelled. “Jesus Christ, guys, just chill the fuck out! Leave it! Just fucking leave it!”

  He shunted me backwards once, twice, three times until I’d calmed down enough to shake off the red mist, but even then I was seething, on the edge of blowing my fucking fuse all over again.

  I held my hands up. “Alright,” I said. “I’m fucking calm!”

  Buck wrapped his arm around my shoulders to be sure, steered me back outside. “Fucking hell, Trent,” he said. “What the fuck’s wrong with you?”

  I said nothing.

  “Is this about the shit with Jodie? Christ, mate, nobody was out to cross any lines. You said it was fine. You said you’d be cool with it.”

  “I am,” I lied. “This is just about Jimmy and his running fucking mouth.”

  “If you say so,” he said.

  “I do fucking say so.”

  He sighed. Patted my back. “Look, Trent, you want to hold off until mid-November, we’ll hold off until mid-November. It’s your fucking gig.”

  I had nothing to say, so I said nothing at all, just pulled out another cigarette and lit up like I hadn’t just launched myself at one of my employees.

  The prick was fucking asking for it.

  “Kiss and make up,” Buck said. “It’s not worth falling out over this kind of shit, Trent. Jimmy’s alright, he’s just got a dirty fucking mouth on him.”

  “Jimmy can kiss my fucking ass,” I said. “I’ll make it up when I’m good and ready.”

  Buck slapped my shoulder. “Ain’t none of us after your fucking missus, Trent, it was just a fucking gig.”

  “Jodie’s not my missus.”

  He sighed. “Yeah, right. Keep telling yourself that.” He gave me a jab in the arm. “Gotta get back to it, that bloody Rover isn’t gonna fix itself.”

  I nodded.

  Maybe I’d have calmed it down enough to make it up with Jimmy. Maybe I’d even have calmed it down enough to laugh at Petey’s little lube accident, too.

  Maybe I’d have put the whole fucking situation behind me and got on with business as usual.

  If only Eleanor Hartley’s fucking Porsche hadn’t pulled onto the yard.

  Fuck it. Fuck all of it.

  This time I was in my fucking truck and out of there before she’d even turned off the ignition.

  I played it cool, even to myself, pretended that I wasn’t hoping for a text or a phone call, wasn’t hoping for him to pop in for another coffee or be waiting outside for me in his truck.

  Of course he wouldn’t. It was a job and now it was done.

  But it’d felt so real. He’d felt so real. So… there.

  Maybe he felt like that with all of his clients. The thought made me nauseous.

  Oh well, fuck it. Fuck all of it.

  Same customers, same gossipy school mums every morning, same people to wave at and shout good morning to. Same old same old.

  I got on with it with a smile on my face, same as every other week of my life. There are worse things in life than a bit of routine.

  I heard from Mrs Webber that she’d had Tyler Dean’s mum in for a meeting the very same day, assuring me that she’d made it clear that bullying was not to be tolerated on the school bus. I breathed a sigh of relief at the news, thanking her for her prompt action. I relayed it to Mia with a smile, telling her it was all done now and she wouldn’t be getting any more trouble. Always the best way, I said. Speak up about your troubles and they’ll get sorted.

  I just wish she’d have told me sooner, to save herself all the upset.

  I still kept my eye on things, hanging on that few minutes longer at the bus stop to make sure the situation looked calm, but Tyler Dean and his friends never went within two metres of her, not while I was watching. They kept a seriously wide berth, and that brought a puff of self-righteousness to my chest – Mamma Bear at my finest. I hoped Mrs Webber had given those little dipshits quite a roasting.

  In fact, I hoped they’d be in detention until the end of time. Serve the little assholes right.

  “All’s well that ends well,” Tonya said. “Poor Mia, this should make those little bastards think twice before they open their mouths in future.”

  “Definitely,” I said. “Mrs Webber takes this kind of thing very seriously. She told me so.”

  We clinked coffee mugs, and life felt good again. The kids were all smiles, Ruby talking non-stop about this upcoming rally weekend, determined to drive me insane with her begging that we all go, all of us – even Nanna and Tonya. Like Nanna is going to cope on a bloody airbed, I said. Mia didn’t seem nearly so bothered about camping, knuckling down to her school test revision with the kind of dedication that made me proud. She didn’t even watch Question King with Nanna, just ate her dinner and went straight up to hit the revision.

  I’d have to plan a celebratory meal out when she was done, maybe even get a cake. Maybe get Darren along, make a proper family thing out of it. A proper family thing. I laughed when I caught myself.

  There was no proper family thing between me and Darren. A family thing between him and the girls, and me and the girls, but between us, no. Separated. We were separated. Long-time separated – even if the thought of being with him was still getting me off every night. Maybe sometimes in the morning, too.

  So what if I was thinking about him sometimes during lulls at the cafe? So what if my tummy would tickle every time I thought about his face in mine?

  So what about the other tickles… the dirty thoughts… the dirty thoughts that wouldn’t let up… not ever… not even knowing that he was probably fucking half the women in the village and barely giving me a second thought…

  Luck
ily I had my girls’ night out to keep me occupied.

  One epic night of drinks, dancing and good girly chatter, topped off nicely by the opportunity to wear my flash new bodycon dress.

  I could hardly wait.

  I made up with Jimmy O over drinks at the Drum. We shook hands and grunted apologies and bought each other pints in the usual way of it. No hard fucking feelings and all that shit.

  Rutting Eleanor Hartwell always seemed to put the guys in good spirits. Talk of Jodie was off the menu and I kept it that way. No point dwelling on it now. It was already done.

  I put a lid on it, but the whole fucking thing was a barrel of shit. I’d be raging one minute, wanting to face off to every single one of them for going anywhere near her, and the next I’d be in the garage toilet, jerking one off to the thought of her face as she came with her eyes on me and another guy’s dick in her pussy.

  Just as well I was taking a break from the Bang Gang business, I couldn’t trust my dick to play ball if I’d wanted to. It had a mind of its fucking own these days.

  I handed Buck the black book and he stared at me, raised his eyebrows.

  “What’s this for?”

  “What do you think?” I said. “Knock yourself out, book in whatever you fucking like. This week, next week, sometime never. I don’t give a shit.”

  He didn’t look convinced. “And you? You planning on joining in or what?”

  No.

  I shrugged. “I’ll play it by ear. Might be there, might not be.”

  “Fair enough,” he said. “I’ll let the guys know. If you’re sure?”

  Not really. I pictured the piles of notes I’d be adding to the university box if I could sort my pissing head out.

  “I’m sure.”

  “Alright,” he said.

  “Alright,” I said.

  And it was done.

  I contemplated just texting her. A did that mean shit to you? text that would set my mind at rest one way or the other, but every time I pulled my phone out Lorraine’s stupid smug face put me off again. It’s embarrassing. Christ, Darren, she’s long over you. Let it go, have some dignity. I thought about them laughing over me at the cafe, Jodie brushing it aside and hoping I didn’t get the wrong fucking idea about her little Bang Gang splurge.

  No fear, I wouldn’t be getting the wrong fucking idea. I’m not that much of a soft fucking twat.

  At least Lorraine was sorting Petey out. The guy had the permanent balls-emptied kind of grin that we’d all had at some point or other while she was on the scene. Me first, right in the beginning, before we were even a group act. Even the thought of it now gave me the shivers.

  “Mum’s getting a tent,” Ruby announced one night after school. She was sitting on a pile of tyres, sucking on a cherry pop while her sister caught up on Facebook in the office.

  I stuck my head out from the Citroen’s engine. “That right?”

  She nodded, a big toothy grin on her face. “And Tonya might be coming. Not Nanna, though, Mum says if we put her on an airbed she’d never get back up again.”

  I smiled at the image of Nanna slumming it in a sleeping bag. “Your mum might well have a point there,” I said.

  “Will I be able to help? With the cars?”

  I let out a sigh. “Not sure, Rubes. It’s not like round here, it’s pretty fast, all hectic like while the racing’s going on.”

  “But I can help! I can be fast!”

  “I know you can,” I smiled. “I’ll make sure you get to see enough of it, don’t you worry.”

  “Can I sleep in your tent?”

  I thought of the lads along with me, the fact that Buck was already planning to throw a sleeping bag in my tent to save setting up his own. “Probably best you stay with your mum,” I said. “She’ll be worried otherwise.”

  She didn’t argue.

  I wondered if it meant anything, Jodie coming. Jodie’s never been interested in Rally in her life.

  But Ruby was.

  Ruby wasn’t interested in a whole lot else.

  It was almost certainly for Ruby’s sake and not for mine.

  I picked up the girls on Saturday morning, and Jodie seemed shifty, nervous even.

  “Good week?” she asked.

  I nodded. “Alright. You?”

  “Yeah, average,” she said. The girls piled into the truck and I went to follow them but she called me back. “I’m out tonight,” she said. “First time in ages. Just a night in town with Lorraine and Tonya.”

  Lorraine. The thought hit me in the gut.

  “Have fun,” I said.

  She sighed. “It’s just… I haven’t been out before… not for so long… not so far away…”

  “Girls will be fine,” I said.

  “It’s not that,” she said. “It’s Nanna. You couldn’t… if she called, I mean. Could you keep an ear out, in case the club’s too loud for me to hear my phone?”

  I smiled. “I’ll always keep an ear out for Nanna, Jo, you know that. Any problems she can call me, I’d be straight round.”

  “Thanks.” She smiled. “I mean, she’s fine, it’s just sometimes she gets a bit dithery. Her pills are above the sink, the green bottle. Mia’s got a spare key.”

  “I know,” I said. Ruby beeped the horn, let out quite a racket. “I promised them a drive out,” I said. “Told them we’d get some lunch up on the Beacons.”

  “Nice,” she said. “You’d better go.”

  You could come, if you wanted. You and Nanna. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t say them.

  “I’ll be seeing you,” I said. “Have a good night.”

  “You, too,” she said.

  I was glad I’d had a couple of glasses before we’d hit the town. The place was so much louder than I remembered. Girls that didn’t look much older than Mia drifted about the streets in miniskirts and no sleeves without a care – even in October. I was absolutely freezing in my bodycon dress, my legs goose-pimpled to hell, even though I was wearing a coat.

  Lorraine laughed at me. “You feeling your age?”

  “I’m feeling something,” I said.

  “Get another drink down your neck, you’re still in your twenties, still young enough pull off young, free and single with authentic flair.”

  “I have mere months left of my twenties,” I said. “It barely counts.”

  She leaned in, wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we crossed the road towards Club Crystal. “I’m forty-nine years old,” she said. “Forty-fucking-nine. What I’d give to be thirty all over again. I sure wouldn’t waste it being married to a dickhead like I did last time round.”

  Tonya laughed, flashed a grin over her shoulder. “You should go on the pull, Lorraine, plenty of guys love a cougar. You’ll be hot property in here.”

  I looked at Lorraine, checking her out as cougar material. She’d definitely pass. Her dress was tighter fitting than mine, her heels higher than mine, too. Her hair had thick blonde highlights over shades of mahogany – a posh salon job, for sure. Her makeup was dramatic but not over the top.

  Yes, Lorraine was definitely cougar material.

  “I might well pull me a hot young stud,” she laughed. “Or two.” She nudged me. “How about you, Jodie, are you out to meet yourself a fine young man?”

  “No, I don’t think so,” I said in a beat.

  “No?” she raised her eyebrows. “Why ever not?”

  Tonya smirked back at me. “She’s already taken, mentally if not physically.”

  I wished she hadn’t had that extra vodka on the way in. I shot her a glare to stop her running her mouth off.

  We arrived in the queue, and Lorraine wouldn’t let it go. “You can’t surely mean Trent?” she said. “Please tell me you’re not still pining over that useless imbecile.”

  “I’m not pining,” I said. “I’m over it.”

  She stared at me. “You’re sure about that?”

  I nodded. “Yes.” No. “I have the girls to think about, we’
re all good as we are. No point rocking the boat with any of that.”

  “And that’s putting aside the fact the guy’s a man-whore. For heaven’s sake, Jodie, he’s fucking every paying woman within driving distance. He’s hardly daddy material, is he?”

  I met her eyes. “Darren’s a great dad. He’s a lot of things, but a crappy father isn’t one of them.”

  “If you say so.” She laughed. “I admire your loyalty, but the guy’s nothing more than a filthy waster. Those girls would be better off without him.”

  I stepped away from her. “Those girls would never be better off without him, Lorraine, that’s too far.” And neither would I.

  She held up her hands. “Jesus, Jodie, I’m only half serious. You know how I feel about Darren Trent. You know how I feel about what’s best for you.”

  Yes. Yes, I did know.

  “Trent’s alright,” Tonya chipped in. I could have hugged her. “Got his issues but show me someone who hasn’t. Ain’t not one of us angels, Lorraine, you included. I’m sure your shit stinks just the same as the rest of us.”

  “Point taken,” she said, but she didn’t look like she’d taken any point on board. She lit up a cigarette and flashed Tonya a smile that was clearly false. “You must have been there when it all fell apart, Tonya, as I was. You must have seen how much better things were for Jodie and the girls when it was all over.”

  “I saw two people breaking their hearts over losing each other. Two people breaking their hearts that their girls wouldn’t have their daddy at home. That’s what I saw, Lorraine.” She lit up a cigarette herself. “No winners in a situation like that, only losers.”

  I wished I smoked. I could have happily puffed away on a whole bloody pack.

  “It’s all over now.” I smiled. “Let’s just get dancing, shall we? Forget about Darren and the bloody village for one night, at least.”

  I didn’t even wait for a consensus, just hit the bar as soon as we’d checked in our coats.

  Tonya leaned in when Lorraine nipped off to the toilets. “I don’t like it,” she said. “There’s something off with her.”