The Chicken Dance

  The awards ceremony was in this big auditorium and it was for the chicken-judging, pig-judging, and good-grooming contest and so it was filled with kids from all over Louisiana. I thought about counting all the kids, but I didn’t, because I was too nervous and wanted to make sure I didn’t miss when they announced the winners of the chicken-judging contest. Leon was sitting next to me and he fell asleep when the man onstage announced the winners of the pig-judging and good-grooming contest, but I woke him up when the man on the stage said, “And now we’re going to announce the winners of the fourteen-to-eighteen–year-old category in the chicken-judging contest.”

  When I tapped Leon, he pushed my hand and said, “Stop it.”

  “But, Leon,” I told him, “they’re about to announce the winners of the chicken-judging contest,” and he told me, “So? I didn’t win anyway, so I don’t want to hear. I want to sleep.”

  “Maybe someone in our class won,” I told him, and he said, “I don’t care.”

  Then Mrs. Forest said, “Boys! Stop talking. You’re being rude.”

  Leon sat up straight but closed his eyes and put his head down again. When the announcer said, “Now for the ten-to-thirteen–year-old category,” I tapped him again. He picked his head up and looked around.

  “Third place goes to Leslie Pounds,” the announcer said.

  Leon made a mean face at me and then closed his eyes again. But then the announcer said, “Second place goes to Leon Leonard,” and he opened his eyes up real big.

  Leon looked around like he didn’t know where he was and when I jumped up and clapped, he looked at me like he’d seen a ghost.

  “You won, Leon!” I told him. “Go get your trophy!”

  Leon turned white like he was the ghost, but then he stood up and walked to the stage. I sat back down thinking that I was really happy that I’d switched our names. But then the announcer said, “And first place goes to Don …”

  He stopped and squinted his eyes and looked closer at the paper. I couldn’t believe that I had won because I’d tried to do a good thing by switching my and Leon’s names, and if I had won, I hadn’t done a good thing at all, because Leon had judged better than me and I’d made him get a second-place trophy.

  “Forgive me if I get this last name wrong,” the announcer said. “Schi, Schi, Schi.”

  I couldn’t believe it. I felt so bad and I wondered if I should tell Leon the truth because I wanted him to know that he’d really won first and that I was only trying to help him. I didn’t know what to tell him but decided I would figure something out after I got the trophy. I stood up and started walking toward the aisle, but then the announcer said, “Schickram.”

  I thought maybe he’d said my name wrong, and I kept walking. But then a boy in the front row stood up and walked toward the stage while all the kids at his school clapped. I watched him walk up and then realized that I must have looked kind of stupid because I was walking up to the stage to get a trophy that I hadn’t won. So I kept walking and stopped by Nurse Nancy and told her that I was going to the bathroom.

  I stood in the back of the auditorium and watched Don Schickram get his trophy. I couldn’t understand why he had beaten me. Then the announcer said, “Ladies and gentlemen. I would like to add that Leon Leonard, the boy who placed second, and this young man here were neck and neck. I have never seen two boys who knew so much about chickens in my entire life. The only reason that we selected Don as the winner was because he drew pictures of all the chickens that he judged.”

  I couldn’t believe that they had chosen him because of that, because there were no instructions for us to draw pictures of the chickens. I was kind of mad, because even though I couldn’t draw very well, I didn’t think it was fair that he’d won. Then the announcer said, “One picture in particular captured all of the judges’ hearts. It was a large picture of a chicken flying through the air like an eagle.”

  I looked at Don Schickram when the announcer said this and I swear he was looking straight at me like he wanted to tell me something. It kind of freaked me out and I had to put my head down. When I did, though, I was happy that he had won, because he understood that chickens could fly and he wasn’t afraid to tell everyone that they could and I thought that was so cool and I decided that if anyone ever said that they couldn’t fly, I wouldn’t be afraid to tell them, “Yes. They can.”

  What was really weird is that I got my chance an hour later, on the bus ride home.

  You see, I was sitting by Leon, and he was holding his trophy in his lap, talking about where he was going to put it, and that his dad was probably going to build a special case for it. The trophy was about two feet tall and the body was red and on the top of it was a gold chicken. Leon was rubbing the chicken when Mrs. Broussard walked up to us and said, “I can’t believe it, Leon. We’re almost home and you sat here the whole trip and behaved yourself. I thought for sure you’d be dancing in the aisles causing trouble. I should give you a trophy with a bird that can’t fly every day.”

  Leon smiled and said, “If you want, I can hit someone.”

  Mrs. Broussard didn’t smile back. She said, “No, Leon. I prefer you like this,” and then she walked back to the front of the bus.

  She was right. Leon wasn’t doing the things he usually did, like call people names or make sounds with his armpits. I kind of liked him the way he was with the trophy and it was all because of the chickens and so I stood up and screamed across the bus, “Mrs. Broussard! Mrs. Broussard! They can fly. They can’t fly very high or far, but they can fly.”

  She looked at me like I’d scared her or something and then she said, “Okay, Don. Now sit down and be quiet until we get to the school.”

  Leon smiled and said, “That was funny,” and then he asked, “Do you want to hold the trophy until we get to school?”

  I said, “Sure,” and I held it and it felt nice and I never wanted to let it go. I felt like it said my name on it and even though it didn’t, I didn’t want it to because I don’t think I could have loved it as much as Leon did.

  When the bus pulled into Horse Island Elementary, Leon grabbed the trophy and ran off. I looked through the window of the bus and watched him dance around with his trophy in front of his parents. His dad grabbed it out of Leon’s hands and looked at it, and then smiled, and then handed the trophy to Mrs. Leonard. Then Mr. Leonard picked Leon up and swung him around in the air.

  I got Leon’s and my suitcases and walked off the bus. Then I went over to the Leonards, put Leon’s suitcase down by him, and said, “Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Leonard.”

  Mr. Leonard smiled at me and said, “Well hello there, my partner,” and Mrs. Leonard said, “Don, we’re going to that new ice cream parlor called, “Fifteen Fabulous Flavors” to get some ice cream for Leon here. I hear they have twenty flavors. Would you like to come with us?”

  “Thank you,” I told Mrs. Leonard. “But I have to wait for my mother.”

  After they left, I waited for my mother for almost fifteen minutes and then Nurse Nancy opened up the school office and called my house. She stood with the phone by her ear for a few minutes and then hung it up.

  “Nobody answered,” she told me. “They must be on their way.”

  We waited about fifteen more minutes and then Nurse Nancy called my house again. Nobody answered again.

  “I tell you what, Don,” Nurse Nancy said. “I’ll drop you off at your house. I’ll leave a note here on the front door of the school in case one of your parents shows up. I’m sure everything is fine.”

  When Nurse Nancy dropped me off at my house, I found out that everything wasn’t fine.

  Thirty-Three

  Neither one of my parents’ cars were at our house when Nurse Nancy pulled into the driveway.

  “Do they let you stay home alone?” she asked.

  “Yes, ma’am,” I told her.

  “Are you sure?” she asked. “Because I don’t want to get into any trouble for leaving you alone.”

  “No, ma’a
m,” I told her. “I’m home by myself all the time.”

  “Okay,” Nurse Nancy said. “Take my number and call me if you need anything.”

  I wasn’t sure if my parents would be mad if Nurse Nancy left me alone. They had been kind of nice to me since we’d gotten back from New Orleans, so I figured they wouldn’t be. I didn’t think about it too much, though, because I was thinking more about my chickens. I wanted to make sure they were okay and tell them about everything that had happened in Baton Rouge.

  So after I put my suitcase in my room, I went out to the chicken yard. KC ran up to me and danced around and the others just rolled in the dirt or pecked at the ground. I picked KC up and said, “KC! Guess what? I found Dawn!”

  Then I told her almost everything that had happened. But before I was finished, I saw my father’s car, and then right behind it, my mother’s car. They were both driving really fast and I thought for a second they might drive right into the house!

  But both cars stopped a few feet in front of the house. First my father got out of his car and slammed the door and then my mother got out of her car and slammed the door.

  Then she yelled, “Are you crazy? What are you doing?”

  My father didn’t turn and look at her. He went into the house and she screamed at him again, “What are you doing?”

  I’d seen my parents fight a lot, but I’d never seen them almost drive their cars into the house. I didn’t know if they were fighting about Dawn or Mr. Bufford or because my mother couldn’t find a decent Chinese restaurant in Horse Island and wanted to move.

  I put KC down and ran to the side door of the house. Before I even opened it, I heard my mother scream, “Will you answer me? Are you crazy?”

  I opened the door and went into the kitchen and then I hid in the pantry. Even though I closed the door a little, I could still hear my father yell, “Am I crazy? I catch you in our house with a guy who sells tampons and tables for a living and you ask me if I’m crazy?”

  “You tried to kill him!” my mother yelled.

  “I didn’t try to kill him,” my father said. “I just followed him. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was in shock!”

  “What is wrong with you?” my mother yelled. “You’re crazy!”

  “You’re right!” Father yelled. “I was crazy to stay here with you even though I knew what you were doing. I just didn’t think you’d do it in my house.”

  “Your house?” my mother screamed.

  “Yes!” my father said. “My house!”

  “I want a divorce!” my mother screamed.

  “Fine. Great. Fantastic,” my father said. “But where are you going to live? In the stock room of Horse Island Food and Furniture?”

  “No,” my mother said. “I’m going to live here. And you’re going to have to move.”

  My father laughed but not like he laughed when Jack Tripper did something really funny on Three’s Company. He laughed like mean people on soap operas did right before they did something really mean to people.

  “Oh, no,” my father said. “You’re not going to live here. Because there’s not going to be a here.”

  “What are you talking about, Dick?” my mother asked.

  “I wasn’t at a business convention this weekend, Janice,” my father said. “I was in Baton Rouge meeting with Uncle Sam’s lawyer. I guess you’ve forgotten because you’ve been so caught up entertaining the town grocery boy, but it’s been ten years. So we don’t have to live here anymore. We can sell the house. And that’s what I’m going to do!”

  Nobody talked for, like, thirty seconds and all I heard were footsteps. I figured that my mother had forgotten that it had been ten years and maybe she was counting in her head. I had forgotten too. I guess I didn’t want to move so I didn’t want to think about it.

  “You’re speechless,” my father said. “Well, I guess I’ve just witnessed a miracle.”

  “Shut up, Dick!” my mother screamed.

  “Don’t worry,” my father said. “I’ll give you half of what I sell the house for. And all of the furniture, including the love seat and sofa. I’ll even give you every pot, pan, and cooking utensil in that kitchen, even though you’ve never used them.”

  Then my father coughed and said, “But I want something in return.”

  “What is it, Dick?” my mother asked. “You’ve already taken my youth and my career from me. What more could you possibly want?”

  “Don,” he said. “I want Don.”

  “No,” my mother yelled. “No. No. No. No. No. No. No. He’s staying with me. A child belongs with his mother.”

  My mother kept yelling no over and over again. I tried to count how many times she yelled it, but lost my place after about the tenth or eleventh time. Then I started to think about what my father had asked her for. It sounded like he’d said he wanted me. But I couldn’t understand what he wanted me to do.

  “You’re not his mother,” my father told her.

  “Shut up, Dick!” my mother screamed. “Yes, I am.”

  I didn’t know what my father meant when he said that my mother wasn’t my mother. That didn’t make sense at all to me and I started to think that maybe my mother was right and my father was crazy.

  “He’s staying with me!” my mother screamed. “I’ll get a lawyer. He’s staying with me.”

  “Why?” my father asked. “Because you hate me? Is that it, Janice? You know that having Don come with me will make me happy and you can’t stand the thought of it.”

  “Because I love him, Dick!” my mother yelled. “That’s why. Because I love him.”

  “Oh please,” my father said. “You can’t even remember his birthday.”

  “Neither can you,” my mother shouted back. “So don’t get all high and mighty like you’re the parent of the year.”

  “You’re right,” my father said. “I was a horrible parent because I was too busy thinking about how miserable I was. But I want to make it up to him.”

  “I do too,” my mother said.

  I couldn’t believe my parents were saying all this stuff to each other. I just couldn’t believe that they were going to get a divorce and sell the house and that they were fighting over me. I never thought my parents hated me but I guess I never thought that they’d fight over me.

  “Well, I guess there’s only one thing we can do,” my father said. “I don’t want to fight over him in court. So I think we should let him decide.”

  “No,” my mother said. “He’s only a child. He can’t make decisions like that.”

  “Where’s Don right now?” my father asked.

  “He’s in Baton Rouge,” my mother said.

  “What time does he get back?” my father asked.

  “I don’t know,” my mother said. “I think at five.”

  “Jesus,” my father said. “It’s after six. Oh yeah, you care a lot about him. You can’t even remember to pick him up.”

  “Shut up, Dick!” my mother screamed. “Shut up!”

  “Janice,” my father said. “Either you let him decide or I’ll tell everyone about Bufford. Which means you’ll be run out of this town. And also, I won’t give you a cent from the sale of this house.”

  “I hate you!” my mother screamed. “Get out! How dare you threaten me!”

  “Don’t worry,” my father said. “I’m leaving. And don’t worry about Don. I’ll pick him up so he knows that at least one of us cares about him.”

  “Shut up, Dick!” my mother screamed. “I’m going to pick him up. I’m not going to let you brainwash him.”

  “If you think I’m going to let you go and pick him up right now, you’re crazy,” my father said.

  Then I heard a bunch of stuff like people running, the front door open and close, and my parents’ cars drive off. I got out of the pantry and went to the front door and watched my parents’ cars going down the road really fast, side by side like they were racing.

  I didn’t know what to do, so I went back to the chicken yard
and sat on a tree stump and watched my chickens. I thought about what my father had told them a few nights before when I caught him out there talking to them. He’d told them that they had a good life because all they had to do was sit around all day and lay eggs and they didn’t have to get married or have children or find the perfect job. But in a way, it wasn’t true because some of them had children. And they had jobs, but they weren’t the ones that got to choose them. Chickens couldn’t even decide where they wanted to live. And they couldn’t do fun stuff like chase the stray dog and pig. So I guess I decided then that I was kind of glad not to be a chicken because I had a choice about where to live. I figured it was better than if I didn’t have a choice at all.

  Then I realized that my parents would probably come back to the house after they found the note from Nurse Nancy at the school. I didn’t really want to see either one of them because they were acting so crazy. And I didn’t want them to ask me who I wanted to go and live with. I loved both of my parents even though they were really different from each other. I knew I would have to decide, but I wanted to think about it some more.

  So I went into the house and got a pen and paper and wrote a note to my parents. I wrote, “Mother and Father, nobody picked me up from school and nobody was here when Nurse Nancy dropped me off and she didn’t want to leave me alone so she said that I had to go and sleep at Leon’s house. I brought my stuff so I won’t come home until tomorrow after school.”

  I figured that because they were fighting over me, they wouldn’t be mad at me about going to Leon’s house. But I didn’t really go to Leon’s house. I just wrote that so they wouldn’t try to talk to me. I figured that I’d hide in my room that night and leave early in the morning.

  After I put the note on the front door, I sat in the living room and looked out the front window. About ten or fifteen minutes later, I saw my parents’ cars driving real fast toward our house. That’s when I went into my room and closed the door. Then I remembered the notebook that I used to write all of my parents’ fights in. I hadn’t used it in a long time because they hadn’t fought in a long time. But I wanted to write down this new fight so I pulled it out. As soon as I found a clean sheet of paper, I heard my father yell.