Accidentally Perfect

by Elizabeth Stevens

  “And you…?”

  “She’s fast, okay?” he huffed.

  I looked at him with a smile. “I’m not judging.”

  “You so were. I saw you up there.”

  I coughed to cover a laugh. “Does she know what she’s doing?”

  “Do they ever?”

  “Uncie Roman, look!” she giggled as she threw herself on the ground in something that was supposed to be a cartwheel and I almost erupted in laughter.

  Roman huffed and reached into his pocket, but pulled it out empty. “Shut up.”

  I barely held in a snigger. “I didn’t say anything.”

  “Shut up,” he repeated.

  “No, it’s actually adorable.”

  “Yeah, of course it is,” he muttered

  “Did you see?” Maddy asked, hands on hips and glaring at him.

  “I saw. It was great!” he called back, then threw me a look that simultaneously asked me if it was great or not and told me to keep my mouth shut at his enthusiasm.

  “Don’t ask me. I don’t have small children in my life,” I sniggered.

  He growled, changing it to an awkward laugh as Maddy ran up to us. She frowned at me with the honesty only a small child can manage.

  I hadn’t really seen her around. In fact, I wasn’t sure I’d really paid much attention to next door since they’d moved in unless I’d noticed Roman outside.

  “Hi.” I smiled.

  “Who are you?”

  “Uh, Piper.” I pointed behind me. “I live next door.”

  Maddy looked between us and I saw the family resemblance. Finally, she smiled and held her hand out. “I’m Maddy.”

  I shook it because I’m polite and her confidence kind of scared me. “Nice to meet you. Roman…mentioned you.”

  “Are you Uncie Roman’s girlfriend?”

  I wasn’t the only one who seemed to have an inconvenient piece of spit they choked on.

  “Uh, no. But, we go to school together.”

  Maddy nodded. “I’m going to school next term.”

  I smiled. “That’s pretty cool.”

  She shrugged. “Can you do cartwheels?”

  I was a little taken aback by the change in topic, but I rallied. “Uh. Last I tried, I could.”

  “When did you try last?”

  “Oh, good question. It was a while ago.”

  “Uncie Roman can’t.”

  “Is that so?”

  She nodded. “Will you help me? He’s useless.”

  I looked at Roman and tried not to laugh. “I’m not at all surprised.”

  His eyes widened and the corner of his lip quirked, but he nodded in agreement.

  “Well, I can’t promise anything. But, I’ll do my best.”

  Maddy grabbed my hand and pulled me to a clear spot on the lawn. “Okay, go!” she cried.

  “Oh, now? Okay.”

  I tried to remember how to do a cartwheel. I’d done gymnastics for a while when I was younger, so I tried to remember what I’d done then.

  I took a run up and launched, praying to any and all deities that I wasn’t going to make an idiot of myself. My body just kind of took over and I managed one cartwheel and a sort of flip before I stumbled a little and (un)gracefully fell on my butt.

  “Wow!” Maddy yelled and I rolled onto my stomach to look at her with a smile. “Teach me!”

  She ran over and I spent the rest of the afternoon teaching – or, trying to teach – her how to cartwheel while Roman watched and was incredibly chatty and unhelpful. We’d made some progress by the time Roman’s mum got home from work and she found us outside. I didn’t notice she’d been standing there until I realised Roman was talking to her.

  “She’s been all right. How was work?” he asked. I saw him kiss her temple and take his arm off from around her shoulders.

  “Fine. Same old,” she answered.

  Maddy looked up and broke into a grin. “Grandma!” she giggled and ran over to latch onto her waist.

  I stood awkwardly for a moment.

  “Uh, Mum, you know Piper Barlow?”

  She nodded and threw Roman a look like she wondered if he was on something. “Of course I know Piper.” She gave me a conspiratorial smile. “How are you, dear?”

  I smiled. “Fine, thanks, Carmen. How about you?”

  Carmen gave me a smile that didn’t reach her tired eyes. “Still going. Could you tell your mum that I will definitely bring that chicken recipe to book club this week? She’s been on me for months about it.” I nodded as she chuckled, then looked down at Maddy. “How about we wash up and get dinner on?”

  “I’ll help!” Maddy cried and hurried inside.

  “Hands first!” Carmen called after her. “Thanks for that, Piper. You don’t have to indulge her.” She smiled at me kindly.

  “Oh… For…? No, that’s fine. I wasn’t doing anything anyway. I had a good day.”

  Carmen looked between me and Roman and I saw him shift weirdly. I couldn’t help but smile, or try to hide a smile. Carmen rose an eyebrow in my direction and I did smile at her then.

  “Are you home tonight, Roman?” she asked slowly.

  “For dinner.” He wouldn’t look at either of us.

  “After that?”

  He looked uncomfortable and I suddenly wondered what his mum thought he was up to when he was out all night. I mean, I didn’t think she was an idiot. But, I wondered what went through her mind. No one at school knew exactly what he got up to. I couldn’t imagine what Carmen thought, when he wasn’t being brought home by the police obviously.

  “I don’t know yet.”

  “Oh, don’t worry about me,” I said to him, waving a hand weirdly. I wasn’t sure if he didn’t want to make plans in case we both found ourselves at the lake again, or so we would, or because I might expect it. Still, I probably could have phrased that differently.

  Both Carmen and Roman looked at me in question.

  “Oh,” I chuckled. “I mean, Roman’s been… We…” I cleared my throat and found semi-bullshit coming out, “That is, he was teaching me how to skip stones the last couple of nights and I’m terrible at it…”

  Roman’s eyebrow rose and I could see him fighting a smirk. Carmen’s face softened considerably as she looked at me.

  Well, that gives me some idea of what she thinks he’s up to…

  “He’s been with you?” she asked me.

  I nodded far too quickly. “Well, I mean… We didn’t plan it. Just, we hung out at the lake the last couple of nights. Just chatting you know, and uh–”

  “Skipping stones, listening to music,” Roman finished, humour in his voice, and I nodded.

  “Oh,” Carmen smiled warmly. “Well, no. If you have plans, by all means…”

  “I mean,” I shrugged, my hands clasped in front of me awkwardly, “they’re not set or anything.”

  “Whatever you want to do. Just let me know what you’re up to.”

  “Grandma!” Maddy yelled impatiently from inside and Carmen smiled.

  “Good to see you, Piper. Say hi to your parents for me.”

  “You too, Carmen! Will do,” I called as she went inside.

  “You know, she’s going to think we’re dating now,” Roman said.

  I scoffed against that sudden weird feeling in my chest. “Yeah, because Roman Lombardi dates.”

  “I could date.”

  “Eh, could you though?”

  “Okay. What counts as a date? I’ll meet you down here at, what? Nine? We’ll go down to the lake and I’ll teach you how to skip stones if you really want?” he asked quickly.

  I laughed. “I’ll meet you at nine and you can even teach me to skip stones, but the word date will in no way be attached to any time we spend together. Ever. Okay?”

  He looked through his hair at me with humour dancing in his eyes. “Thank fuck.” And, I laughed again.

  “Wow, took a load of con
vincing.”

  “I’ll see you here at nine.”

  “Sure, Lombardi.”

  I watched him run inside and made my way back to my room to find a bunch of text messages from Hadley and Celeste and an email from Mason to deal with.

  h

  I jogged down the stairs a little before nine, dressed in my jeans and a warm jacket.

  “Hiya sweetie,” Dad said and Mum looked up at me.

  “I’m just popping out for a bit, wandering down to the lake.”

  Mum and Dad looked at me like I was keeping a secret. I sort of felt like I was.

  “By yourself?” Mum asked.

  I opened my mouth. “Um… No…?”

  “Are you sure?” Dad chuckled.

  “I’m just hanging out, nothing special.”

  They both nodded like they thought whatever it was must be terribly important because of how not important I was trying to tell them it was.

  “All right. Have a good time and keep warm.”

  I nodded. “Yep, will do.”

  I replied to a text from Hadley as I walked out of the house and shoved my keys in my pocket. Hadley had been on my case about Mason even more in the few days she’d been away than she had like the whole time leading up to it. Of course, there were plenty mentions as well of how I should give Roman a go over the holidays before Mason got back. In Hadley’s mind; since she couldn’t, one of us should and that left me. I hadn’t mentioned I’d been hanging out with him, let alone anything that could lead her to think that there would be any hooking up with him.

  “I’m about to run out of things to be gentlemanly about here, Barlow.”

  I looked up and saw Roman smirking at me as he looked me up and down. He dropped his cigarette butt on the ground and crushed it under his heel.

  “And just what does that mean?”

  “Well, you rugged up, so I won’t need to offer you my jacket. I’m already walking you down to the lake – so, your safety’s all good. If you’re not careful, you’ll be a completely independent young woman.”

  I scoffed and kept walking towards the lake, meaning he had to follow. “Gosh. Wouldn’t want that, would we?”

  “How would Carter come swooping in to save you if you were all independent?”

  I looked back at him for a moment as I picked my way over tree roots. “I don’t need anyone swooping in to save me, thank you.”

  “Well, I’m all right with that. But, I highly doubt that he knows how to be anything but the chivalrous white knight.”

  “No one would ever confuse you for the chivalrous anything, Lombardi,” I laughed. “Don’t worry.”

  “I am very chivalrous in bed, thank you. I’m all about giving. I’m very gallant. Some have even called me a romantic.”

  “Had they been dropped on their heads as children?”

  He didn’t say anything, but I heard him clap. I stopped and turned to him with a wry smile.

  “What?” I asked.

  He gave me a bow, his arms thrown wide. “No stutter. Quick retort. Why Barlow, I think I’ve ruined you.”

  “Yeah, you wish,” I snorted.

  “No, that would be ravage. Totally different.”

  I stumbled on something on the ground, but he was there to catch me. We looked at each other for a moment, our noses close. My heart beat a little faster in anticipation, but he didn’t make any moves.

  “How do you just come out and say things like that?” I asked.

  His eyes darted between mine. “I don’t know, I just do. Some call it confidence, some call it arrogance, others call me dirty–”

  “Yes, I’ll bet a lot of people call you dirty and it’s not always an insult.”

  He threw a split-second grin at me and my chest went all fluttery again. Then, he pulled us both to standing straight and let go of me, starting to move toward the lake again.

  “Others call me passionate.”

  “I’ll bet they’re the same ones who think dirty is a compliment,” I answered as I followed him, my eyes on the dark ground. “Passion. Dirt. I suppose it’s all the same to you really.”

  I gasped as I ran into him and found him looking down at me. I would have said his eyes held a hint of humour, but it was just a little dark where we were standing.

  “There’s nothing dirty about passion, Piper. Nothing wrong with acting on mutual attraction. Passion and attraction isn’t something you can help. It happens whether you want it to or not. You get to decide what you do with it, not anyone else.”

  To take my mind off the way he made my heart race, I argued, “And, what about all the girls you leave behind? What happens when you’re out of passion for them?”

  He shrugged. “How many girls do you hear wanting more from me, Barlow?”

  “Every single one you’ve been with.”

  He blinked like that actually surprised him. But, I couldn’t tell if it was me or the statement he was surprised by.

  “Come on, don’t pretend you have no idea. Don’t tell me you thought you had your fun with them then they wandered off into the sunset completely fine.”

  “I wouldn’t pretend anything of the sort. I just didn’t expect you to be keeping tabs on my sex life.”

  Feeling annoyed and not knowing why, I shoved past him and kept walking. “It’s a little hard not to keep tabs on your sex life when that’s the majority of the gossip at school.”

  “Oh Barlow, anyone would think you cared!” he teased.

  “Shut up.”

  We walked along in silence for a while. As we came towards the last few trees, he grabbed my arm gently.

  “Look, I don’t make a habit of telling anyone to expect more than what I’ll give them, Barlow. If girls expect more after, it’s because they’ve created whole fantasies in their heads. What you see is what you get with me. That they forget that and think they can change me is not my fault.”

  You could probably do something about that. Multiple somethings even… is not a thing I said out loud.

  Instead I looked up at him, trying to figure him out. There was something beseeching in him, something that made me think he was being completely sincere. But, I wondered why the hell he’d feel the need to be sincere about something like that with me. It seemed a very un-Roman move in my opinion.

  Sure, I’d love for him to turn around and tell me that all the stories were wrong, that really he was a decent guy. I wanted him to deny it all. I didn’t need a reminder that the guy I’d been hanging out with went through girls like it was going out of fashion and he was completely unapologetic. On some level it bothered me. On another, I was pleased he was being honest with me. But, I just couldn’t help feeling a little bothered by it deep down and that annoyed me because I shouldn’t be bothered by that.

  “I can’t be changed, Piper…” he said slowly and I knew he believed it.

  I nodded curtly. “I am well aware of that fact.” Although, hadn’t he seemed to have changed recently?

  “And, yet you’re still here.”

  I scoffed and hoped maybe my insides would stop twisting unpleasantly. “I don’t know what you’re expecting to happen here, Lombardi. But, I wasn’t under the impression your inability to change would have any effect on my life. Far as I can tell, we’re just two people having an extended pity party and you’re supposed to be teaching me how to skip stones.”

  “You don’t seem particularly funky tonight,” he pointed out.

  “Neither do you.”

  He ran a hand over his jaw. “Well, I had something to look forward to tonight.”

  Here the twisting turned to squirming. Then my heart beat erratically in the face of his complete suaveness. “If you have more important or exciting things – or people – to do tonight, I can skip stones by myself.”

  “I was talking about you, Barlow. For some reason, you calm me. You make me feel…settled. Wrestling Maddy into bed tonight was a piece of cake knowing I was g
oing to be meeting up with you after. The fact I might get to laugh at you was just icing. Come on, then.”

  “Is this why girls expect more from you?” I asked and he stopped.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I mean… What? You tell them not expect anything, then you pop out with things like that. I don’t blame them for their expectations if you tell them things like that.”

  He huffed. “Yeah no. I don’t make it a habit to talk to girls. The wordiest I get is telling them how I want it or them.”

  “So, what makes me different?”

  “I’m not promising you anything either.”

  “Aren’t you?” I asked, certainly feeling like there was a promise of something going on here.

  He looked me over carefully. “No, Piper. I… I like hanging out with you. You’re comforting,” he said slowly. “But, I’m too broken to ever be good enough for you.”

  I wasn’t sure what to respond to that, so I took a leaf out of his book and brushed it off. “Okay. Good. We’re on the same page then.”

  He gave that humourless laugh. “Exactly. We feel better together. Let’s not overthink it.”

  He headed towards the water and I took a moment to move after him as I was busy trying not to overthink it.

  I couldn’t deny it. Roman made it easier to breathe, easier to be me. No matter how anxious I was feeling, a few minutes with Roman and I had a respite from it all. It was absolute craziness and I’d deny it to anyone who asked. But, I also couldn’t help the fact that it was becoming harder to deny I was drawn to more than just the settled feeling he gave me.

  He looked back at me and sighed before coming back. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the water. “Lesson one, the closer to the water you are, the easier it is.”

  I laughed as I stopped thinking and waited to see what lesson two would be.

  Chapter Eight

  No Judgements. No Apologies.

  Roman had done his best to try to teach me to skip stones on Monday night, but we’d eventually given up and just sat around chatting or in silence for a few hours. Tuesday, my stone skipping technique was still no good and I was practising when Roman’s appearance was unexpected but not unwelcome.