It was a fair enough philosophy, I guessed. But, maybe I was really the innocent little Piper my friends thought I was because the idea of talking about it felt…weird.
“Did you want to do it again?” he asked, his voice taking on a teasing tone that had me blushing like mad. He chuckled and nuzzled his nose under my ear. “Because you just have to say.”
“I can’t do that,” I whispered like it would be some great scandal and I felt him laugh.
“You can if it’s what you want.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I can’t.”
“It’s me, Barlow. You can tell me anything and I won’t judge you.”
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes like that would give me some courage. “I want to have sex with you again, Roman.” My cheeks felt tomato-red even before I’d barely started the sentence.
I felt him pull away and he laughed. “You’re fucking adorable, you know that?”
My eyes flew open in panic. “Not really the response I was hoping for.”
His eyes hooded and he licked his lip. “Relax, Barlow. I want to again, too. I haven’t stopped thinking about you. But this time, we’re doing it right.”
“Right?”
He nodded and a wicked smirk lit his face before he was kissing me again. It wasn’t hard and fast. It was slow, deliberate, but full of heat. I was already breathing heavily when he gently pulled me to sitting and ran his hands over my hips. A flash of panic ran through me but his calm smile grounded me.
“First, we get rid of this.”
“I’m not wearing anything under this except undies…” I said, slowly.
“Even better.” He winked and slowly lifted it off me.
I was sure I could have told him to stop at any point, and the heart hammering in my chest half-wanted to. But, the rest of me was more resolved in its desire. If having sex with Roman Lombardi the wrong way had been all at once amazing and unexpected, I wanted to know what doing it right felt like.
He dropped my nightie to the floor and ran a hand gently over my breast. I tingled as his thumb traced my skin and I broke out in goose bumps.
“You’re beautiful, Piper,” he said softly, looking in my eyes.
“They’re lopsided.”
“They’re real and they’re beautiful.”
I flushed, but this time I wasn’t embarrassed. This time, I was actually just finding it hard to reconcile the fact that a guy who saw as many girls naked as he probably did could look at me like that and I genuinely believed he thought I was beautiful.
He picked up my hand and directed it to the bottom of his t-shirt. I lifted it up and he helped me get it over his head. He snuck a quick kiss as I leant towards him and I smiled. I looked down and I was surprised a guy like that was wasting his time with me.
I’d seen Roman without his top on before, of course I had – just the afternoon before I had. Plus the boys at school went swimming in the summer and, just because Roman wasn’t known for following social mores, didn’t mean he didn’t get hot like the rest of us. But, something about having him right here – in my bed, close enough to touch – was exhilarating.
His muscles twitched involuntarily under my touch and he huffed an almost embarrassed laugh. I thought he was going to move my hand, but he only lay his over mine for a second on his stomach before guiding me back down to the bed and nestling between my legs.
The other night, I’d noticed he felt large – she says like she has any idea. I mean I’d had him in me, it would have been hard not to notice. But having him up against me now, with still my undies and his boxers between us, he felt too big and the nerves set in again, making my stomach and chest flutter weirdly.
Roman kissed me to distraction – as if he could tell – and I relaxed against him as his kisses trailed over my cheek and down my neck. He didn’t stop there; he moved down my body, over my breasts and down to my stomach. Gently, he slid my undies off and ran a finger between my legs. Then, something warm and wet replaced his finger and I realised his mouth was over me.
Once the shock was passed, I wasn’t complaining though. Pleasure coiled in me and was close to release when he slid a finger inside me and that was all it took for me to cum. He pressed one more kiss to me before he moved back up my body.
“That was… Wow. That was wow,” I panted and he smiled, those deep brown eyes shining warmth.
“I’m glad.”
With an assertiveness I didn’t know I possessed, my fingers found the top of his boxers and started pulling them down. He flashed me that wicked grin and helped me get them off him. Then, he reached over and grabbed something from his wallet on the bedside table. He ripped open the packet and held it out to me.
“Care to do the honours?” he asked with a wink.
I chuckled. “Oh, so we remembered this time?”
He shook his head with a wry smile. “Like I said, we’re doing it right this time.”
I nodded and took the condom from him. Looking down at his erection, I asked, “All right, how do I do this?”
“You want to use your mouth or your hand?”
Mouth? My gaze flew up, but I was fairly sure he was joking. I hoped he was joking.
“Check which way it rolls down.” He showed me. “Like this. Then, put it on top and roll it down all the way.”
I did as I was instructed and I had the distinct impression he was getting some enjoyment out of it, especially if his sharp inhalation was anything to go by. When he seemed happy it was on properly – though I have no idea how he could really tell – he guided me back down and kissed me, once again soft and deliberate and heated.
I could feel his tip pressing against me and I arched into him, all at once anxious and excited.
“You sure about this?” he asked as he kissed my neck.
I nodded. “I’m sure.”
He pushed into me slowly. At one point, he paused and looked at me, care and concern marked on his face. “Still with me?”
I nodded again.
He smiled down at me, all reassuring warmth. “Just relax.”
So, I did.
As he kissed me gently, his hand cupped my hip and pulled my leg higher around his hip. Whatever that did, he slid in easily. With one hand on my hip, the other found my hand and held it above my head as he started moving slowly and steadily.
If the other night had been fireworks, this was slow burning flames. When his lips weren’t on me, he was looking down at me with such tenderness I found it hard to remember this was the same guy who’d apparently made his way through most of the school already. I could almost believe I was the only one in his universe.
Everything about it was steady and purposeful. It wasn’t rushed, hurried or just some quick fuck. I felt – as corny as it sounds – worshipped, like it was the only place he wanted to be.
When my breath came shorter and I couldn’t help the moan or two that escaped, he picked up the pace; still long thrusts, but faster. He felt incredible. I didn’t know if he was just made that way or if he just knew where all the right buttons were. Maybe it was practise.
He was sucking on my neck, sending shots of pleasure through me when I felt my climax build again. I couldn’t stop myself from moaning his name, but I put my mouth against his shoulder to try to muffle some of my noise.
As my orgasm rolled over me in building waves, he increased his pace further and it was just one jolt of pleasure after another until everything just felt tingly amazingness. I felt him tense and he ran his hand up my side. One arm held him up and the other cupped my face as he kissed me softly and thrust slowly.
We were both breathing heavily when we caught each other’s eyes. I hadn’t had a word for it the other night, or when he’d looked at me just then. But now, I think what I saw in his eyes when he looked at me was…a connection, an understanding, some message only I could decipher. But, it didn’t need deciphering into words; it was a feeling. A feeling I was s
ure he saw answered in my eyes.
While I was thinking all this, he gave me the kind of grin you melt for. “Did you actually just bite me?”
My cheeks flamed and I buried my head in his shoulder. “Maybe. Sorry.”
He laughed as he pulled out of me with a kiss to my forehead. “Fuck, no. Don’t be sorry, you kinky bitch.”
Embarrassed, I pulled the blankets over my head. I felt him get up, but he was back before I could even begin to think what he’d been doing. He got back into the bed beside me and pulled the blankets down far enough to look into my eyes.
“Sex has to be honest, remember? I’m not into that BDSM stuff, but I can handle you being a bit of a biter. Just maybe try not to break skin, yeah?”
“Oh, so you think this is going to happen again, do you?” I asked quite brazenly from behind the safety of my blanket mask.
He lay down and pulled me to him, putting his arm under my head. “If I had my way, I’d…” He stopped and I felt him tense.
I rolled to look at him, sliding my hand between my chin and his shoulder. “What?”
He looked quite purposefully out the window and not at me. “Well, of course I want to do it again. Considering I know your experience intimately, I have no problems telling you that you’re just fucking amazing.”
“That’s not what you were going to say.”
I giggled as he rolled on top of me.
“It’s not just how tight you are, it’s how you respond to me, Barlow. Hands down, you are my best fuck.” His voice held that tone of mocking that I was starting to know meant – while the sentiment may have been mostly sincere – his words were meant tongue-in-cheek.
Smiling, I looked up at him. “Compliments will not distract me, Lombardi.”
His face was settled in its usual lazy smirk, but his eyes looked troubled.
“Sex has to be honest remember?” I reminded him of his previous words.
He sighed and flopped back on the bed, his arm landing over his eyes. “Fine. I was going to say that if it was up to me, you’d be the only girl I fucked for the rest of my life.”
A stupid flutter shifted in my chest just as I knew there was a ‘but’. And, I knew what that ‘but’ was.
“But, you don’t do forever.” I finished for him.
He looked at me, frowned, then looked away. “Barlow, I–”
“It’s fine, Lombardi,” I said softly and it was. “Just like I knew what could happen if I kept hanging out with you, I knew what would happen after that. Once you’re bored, you’ll move on. I don’t expect anything else from you.”
He scoffed, but I didn’t think he was annoyed with me. He sat up, leaning his elbows on his knees. “They all say that, until suddenly it’s forgotten and they think they can change me.”
“Roman…” I chastised and I sat up next to him when he finally looked at me. “This, here? There are no expectations, okay?” I cupped his cheek. “We’ve had fun, but that’s all it is and I get that. I mean no offence, but you’re hardly the guy I want to introduce to my parents as my boyfriend.”
He huffed a laugh. “No. Carter is far more the right guy for that job.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.” I ignored the pointed, quizzical look he threw my way. “My point is, I know you’re not. I know we’ve had a good time these holidays. Hell, I’d hazard to say we’ve got close. We’ve even had some legitimate moments. But aside from the whole sex thing, we can’t be more than friends. And, I’m okay with that.”
He looked at me sceptically. “You’re really okay with that?”
I was okay with that. He’d told me numerous times that he wasn’t the kind of guy who did more – I’d seen plenty of evidence to suggest he wasn’t the kind of guy who did more – and I wasn’t sure he was the kind of guy I wanted more with. I had come to like him, but if he didn’t do more then I wasn’t going to let myself fall for him and get my heart broken.
I nodded. “I mean, the idea that you’ll probably sleep with other girls at the same time doesn’t fill me with rainbows. But, I don’t expect you to change who you are just because we’ve had…something…”
“Let me get this straight? Piper Barlow is willing to just have casual sex? With me?”
I snorted and lay down. “It’s less that I’m willing to have casual sex with you and more I don’t want to stop hanging out with you. If the sex happens, then the sex happens. If it doesn’t…” I shrugged.
“I never thought I’d see the day.”
“Yeah, me either.”
And, I was surprised. But, I enjoyed Roman’s company, as weird as it was to admit it. I really enjoyed his company and I really enjoyed having sex with him. Besides, it wasn’t like this would last long. I still fully believed that we’d get back to school and things would go back to the way they always had. Although, maybe we’d still be friends of sorts.
“Well, fuck me!” he breathed.
“Yeah, I think I covered that one. Quite spectacularly if reviews are to be believed.”
He spluttered a laugh. “Who the hell are you? And what have you done with Piper Barlow?”
I shrugged. “Apparently, a right fucking makes a girl less afraid to speak her mind.”
He rolled on top of me with that pure, happy laugh and tickled me, making me giggle like an idiot.
Chapter Thirteen
Lies = Bad. Normal = Good.
Conveniently, it decided to rain all Sunday. So we stayed in my room and he actually agreed to watch whatever I chose. I was a terror and made him watch a bunch of Rom-Coms, but paid him back by making him a pasta bake he apparently loved and throwing in a few of John Cusack’s non-Rom-Com movies for good measure.
We spent a crazy amount of time with each other over the next week. When Hadley wasn’t in my ear or making me go shopping (thank God, she accepted my excuses to stay home at night), I was with Roman. Something held us together that neither of us seemed inclined to put into words. I wasn’t sure if it was one or both of us feeling down, or the fact that he made me feel good, calm, relaxed, and sang at me far too often. But whatever it was, not putting it into words was fine by me.
During the day, we’d spend time with Maddy or just hang out while he did tricks on his board, I read or did homework, we played on our phones, channel surfed, I made him watch bad movies, or we ate complete junk and called it lunch. Nights were much the same with my parents away. He shared dinner with me some nights – sitting on the kitchen bench and being unhelpful, useless, funny, and annoying. Others he went home for as long as it took to get Maddy to bed then came back in a mood and put his head in my lap while we watched TV.
There was no pressure to get physical, and we didn’t always. Some days, we barely kissed. Others we couldn’t seem to get enough of each other. Roman just seemed to know when I felt like it; his touch was never unwelcome, I never had to hurry myself up to get in the mood to match his libido or anything – not that I’d ever done anything I didn’t want with anyone, but sometimes it took a bit of time to get in sync.
We laughed, we talked, we didn’t talk. It was one of the best weeks of my life and there was zero pressure and zero expectations. Juggling Hadley and keeping Roman quiet when she rang was difficult at times. But, he seemed just as keen as me to keep whatever we had on the down-low; I noticed him gloss over his precise whereabouts on the few occasions he talked to his friends on the phone.
It wasn’t until my parents got back on Friday night and Mum asked if I’d really been okay while they were gone that I realised I hadn’t felt that overwhelming anxiety or funk for days. When I told Mum I felt good, I really meant it for the first time in what felt like a long time.
She and Dad monopolised my time as much as possible over the next few days, but Roman and I still managed to make some time for each other during those last few days of the holidays.
But, Tuesday it was back to school and I walked out my front door to find Roman, actually in his un
iform, leaning against his car and puffing away on a cigarette.
“Oh, you’re actually going to school today?” I quipped and he grinned.
He shook his head and avoided looking at me. “I thought maybe you might like to avoid the bus and I was going to offer to drive you. But, for that, I might just make you take the bus anyway.”
I shrugged. “It’s all the same to me. I’ll see you at school, then,”
We caught each other’s eye and he laughed. “Get in the car, Barlow.”
“Bossy this morning.”
His humour faded. “Sorry. Maddy was up all night last night in excitement and was a right terror this morning.”
“I thought we didn’t apologise?” I asked, meaning to be funny, but he obviously didn’t take it that way.
He glared at me. “Do I apologise for apologising? Or, is that not allowed either?”
“Jesus, you’re moody today!”
“I thought that was allowed.”
I walked up to him and cupped his cheek. “You can be as cranky as you like, but it’s going to make me worry about you. You want to talk about it, or you just want to be in a super foul mood?”
He blew smoke over my head and wouldn’t look at me. “I just want to be in a super foul mood.”
There were a few times I didn’t like being so much shorter than him and this was one of those few times. He wouldn’t look at me and I couldn’t make him. So, I just nodded, pulled myself to tip toes, and kissed his cheek. As I pulled away, his arm went around me and he pulled me close. It was all the apology or gratitude I would ever need from him.
Funny how, after two weeks with someone, it was possible to know them so well. When others you’ve spent years with and feel like maybe you don’t know them so well after all.
He kissed the top of my head as he pulled the door open and helped me into the cab. Still not looking at me, he shut the door and went around to the driver’s side, having ditched his cigarette butt outside. We didn’t talk. For the second time in the last two weeks, the tension sizzled between us like charged air. We all remember what happened last time, but I had no idea what was coming this time.
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