“What was that?”
He looked confused. “What was what?”
“You don’t just go around kissing people!”
That didn’t help his confusion any.
“I’m not just here at your beck and call, Lombardi. Okay? I’m not just some booty call you can turn to when you don’t have anything better or you’re too lazy to go looking.”
“I don’t think– Where is this coming from?”
Joy, it started raining.
I huffed. “You can’t just drop a bombshell on someone and think you haven’t changed things.”
Why had he come over that morning anyway?
“Is this because I said it was over?” he asked, looking up as though I’d failed to notice it was raining and maybe we should do something about it.
Of course, I’d noticed; I mentioned it just before. Fact is, I didn’t care. All I could feel was a keen sense of loss and I was starting to blame him and his smooth, bad boy charm.
“Something that never started cannot – by definition – end, Lombardi.”
“So, you are pissed I said it was over?” He threw his hands up. “I knew it. Look, we both knew what this was. I actually thought, out of both of us, you remembered better than I did!”
I bristled. “I thought I knew what this was! Turns out you were lying to me after all. Honesty my fucking arse! You’re a piece of shit, Roman Lombardi. I wish I’d never insulted you!”
He scoffed. “You wish you’d never insulted me? Well, if that’s not an insult to end all insults, I don’t know what is.”
“Fuck you, Roman!” I snapped. “You’re the one who invaded my space, who insisted on making me laugh when I felt shit, who took it upon himself to worm his way into every facet of my holidays. I didn’t ask to hang out with you. I was quite happy sitting at the lake by myself having some damned peace and quiet!”
“You were happier with me.”
I growled. “Exactly, I was happier with you. You saw a convenient lay. I’m surprised you bothered after it took me so long to get with the program!”
It didn’t bother me that I’d lost my virginity to a guy I wasn’t madly in love with. I was fine with the fact it was just sex. But, I was annoyed that I’d thought the just sex had at least stemmed from friendship and mutual respect, and I’d been wrong.
He shook his head. “Hang on. What the fuck is this actually about? Because, as I recall, sex takes two and you were just as willing as me.”
“Of course I was. I never said I wasn’t. But, I was under the misguided assumption that we were friends!” I screamed, well past caring that my blazer now smelled like wet dog or that there was a slim chance someone could see or hear us.
“What?”
“You heard me. Perhaps it’s a ridiculous notion for someone like you, but here stupid little Piper Barlow was thinking we were friends! Well, she’s not so stupid anymore. Thank God Mason asked me out when he did and now you don’t have to bother about me anymore! So, congratulations, Roman. You are free to roam greener, less boring, more open pastures!”
“You’re fucking mental, you know that?” he sighed, shaking his head. He took a step towards me, but I stepped back. “Come here,” he said roughly, grabbed my arm gently and pulled me to him.
But, he didn’t try to kiss me. He just wrapped his arms around me and hugged me fiercely. He hugged me like he meant it. As usual, Roman Lombardi knew what I needed and was going to give it to me whether I wanted him to or not.
And, as usual, I couldn’t not accept it.
Finally, after a bit of wanky hand-waving hesitation, I put my arms around him. He kissed my temple and lay his cheek on my head. A part of me hated how the antsy, itchy feeling dissipated in his embrace, even now.
“Okay. Now, do you want to talk about whatever the fuck this is actually about? Or are you going to let me drive you to school and we’ll deal with it later?”
I felt like I should push him away, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I rested my hands on his chest and didn’t say anything because I thought I’d start crying if I opened my mouth.
“Piper. Come on, babe. If it’s about that arsehole, Carter. He’ll get to it, okay? I see the way he looks at you and I know he wants you. I shouldn’t have kissed you, not when he’d asked you out. That wasn’t fair of me. And I know we don’t apologise, but I will apologise for that. Because, I was putting me first – not you – and there’s no excuse for that.”
I sighed and shook my head, burying my face in his jumper.
“You can’t say things like that,” I mumbled, feeling like I was holding onto his blazer lapels for dear life.
“Like what?” he asked.
“Like putting me first.”
“Why not? Isn’t that what friends do, Barlow?”
I sighed, but couldn’t answer.
He pushed me to arm’s length and crouched to look me in the eye. “Barlow?”
“So, we are friends then?”
“Why would you think we weren’t?”
I huffed and turned away from him, waving my arms like an idiot. “Oh, I don’t know. How about the whole fact that I’d assumed we’d had sex because we had…an emotional connection? And I’m not talking love or romance, or whatever other bullshit excuse you might pull out here. I’m talking about actual, proper friendship that just happened to lead to sex. Two people who were there for each other emotionally were there for each other physically. But what am I supposed to think, knowing you gave us an expiry date? An expiry date, Roman!”
“What? I never… Where are you getting this?”
“From you. You said it was over when Mason asked me out. So, what?” I flailed my arms in a wild shrug. “Mason asks me out and that’s it? I lose your friendship? I have to choose between him and you?”
“Fuck! No,” he sighed. “That’s not what I meant. I just thought it was a little immoral for us to have sex after he asks you out.”
“Well, duh. But, that means we can’t even hang out?”
“No! I just assumed you’d be going on your date.”
Not that it was a date.
“When you obviously needed me?”
“Well you weren’t exactly there anyway, were you?”
“I assumed we were over!” I shouted, my voice heavy with sarcasm.
“Barlow, come on!” he yelled. “What do you actually think will happen when he asks you out for real, huh? You and I are still going to sit in your room and watch movies or lie in my truck and look at the stars? I don’t really think your boyfriend is going to be okay with that.”
“So in essence, I do have to choose. I say yes to Mason and I lose your friendship?”
“No, I’m always going to be here for you. But, the nature of our relationship is going to have to change. That’s just how it is.”
I didn’t want to agree with him and I hated that he was the one thinking logically right now, but I had to admit he was right. What would it look like if Roman and I still did even the harmless things we did now?
“Fine,” I spat. “But, that day hasn’t come, okay? Whatever relationship I have with Mason is none of your goddamn business and you have no right to change our relationship unless you’re unhappy with it! No other reason!” I sounded like a petulant child having a tantrum, but I was so past caring about anything except not losing Roman at that point. I was being irrational and weird, but I couldn’t stop the feeling of impending doom.
He held his hands up in defeat and nodded. “Okay. We keep on keeping on until you give the word, Barlow.”
I nodded, breathing heavily.
“Can I hug you now?” he asked slowly, taking a tentative step forward.
I opened my mouth, closed it and tried again. “I was just a total dick.”
He shrugged. “Happens to the best of us. I was a dick first, so it wasn’t entirely uncalled for.” He took another step forward. “Can I hug you now?”
“Why?”
“You’re still being a dick.”
I stuck my tongue out at him and he caught me around the waist before I could dodge his arms. He kissed my neck and held me tightly.
“Are you going to stop being a dick now?” he asked.
“Are you?”
He chuckled and his breath tickled my neck pleasantly. “I might.”
“I might not.”
“I can live with that.”
He picked me up around the middle and carried me to the car in a most undignified manner over his shoulder.
“Excuse you!” I yelled, smacking his back as I tried not to drop my bag.
“That feels awfully too close to an apology, Barlow.”
“Lombardi, I’m serious! You can’t just manhandle me!”
He put me down and took my face in his hands. He pouted at me and I had to admit it was somewhat adorable. “But, you’re so tiny!”
“But, fierce!” I snapped, thumping him on the shoulder.
He grinned and I thought he was going to hug me again, but he just reached around and opened my door for me. “Get in loser, I’m driving.”
I snorted so hard at him quoting Mean Girls that my loss of dignity before looked minor in comparison.
“Wow, I’m rubbing off on you,” I chortled.
“Yeah, if only, Barlow.”
I looked up at him and bit my lip. “Shame we have to get to school then.”
“Oh, fuck. Don’t do that. You’re fucking evil.” As if to prove his point, Roman rearranged his pants, picked me up by the waist and sat me in the car.
I rubbed my knee against his crotch and he glared at me.
“That’s not funny. You know what he’s like around you and I really don’t feel like suffering through first lesson with a boner.”
“Well, let me do something about that then…”
“I thought we had to get to school?” He looked up at my room. “By the time we get inside, get busy, get–”
“Who said anything about going inside?”
He looked back to me, his mouth parted like he’d been going to say something. Then, he frowned.
“What?” I asked, my insides plummeting a little.
“Sometimes, Barlow, I look at you now and I think I don’t know who you are anymore. Then, I realise I’ve just had the privilege of seeing you come out of that fucking depressingly prudish shell.” He put his foot on the running board. “Up and over then, love.”
He winked and I sort of stood up as he pulled himself into the passenger seat. I straddled him as I reached into his front pocket for the condom. I put it between my teeth as my hands went to his belt.
It was quick, it was awkward, it was heated, but it was amazing.
He held me tight, lazily kissing my neck, before I got off him.
“You know, you’re the only girl I’ve done in here.”
“Sure I am,” I laughed as I slid off him. I did love how he made that super disappointed noise whenever I did that, though.
“No lies, Barlow. Scout’s honour. You’re the only girl I’ve done in my car, on my car, against my car… Really, anything to do with my car.”
I looked at him as we tidied up. “You weren’t in the Scouts.”
“It’s a figure of speech, Barlow,” he huffed sarcastically as he shifted into the driver’s seat.
I sat down, pulled on my belt and fluffed out my hair in the visor mirror. Something stopped me in my tracks.
“You gave me a hicky!” I cried.
He snorted. “Yeah, my bad.”
“You…” I muttered as I rifled in my bag for my scarf. “Just be lucky it’s still cold enough for this.”
He snorted again and started the car. “You love it.”
Weirdly, I sort of did.
Chapter Sixteen
Hadley and the Roman-tic Dick Move.
Things were getting out of hand. Well, no. I was getting out of hand.
I couldn’t believe I’d had sex with Roman in his ute when we were already late for school in broad daylight. It was like he’d said; I had no idea who I was anymore. I didn’t know what was scarier; that I didn’t recognise myself half the time, or I didn’t hate who I’d become.
So when Hadley suggested we get some fish and chips after school and lounge at the park for a bit, I decided that was as good a time as any to get a touch of normalcy back in my life.
We were heading to class after Lunch when I realised I should tell Roman I wouldn’t need a ride home.
“Lombardi!” I called back to him, following my friend backwards.
“Barlow?” he questioned as he looked up from his board, his face that indifferent laziness.
“You going to class, slacker?”
“What do you think, princess?”
I chuckled. “We’re going to the park after school–”
“Kind of you to think of me. But alas, I have plans!”
I smirked at him. “Cute. No, I’m just not going to need a ride home.”
“No worries. I’ll see you in the morning!”
I waved, turned and hurried to catch up to the others. As we walked into the school building, I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out of my pocket and grinned at the picture I’d taken of Roman that second night at the lake.
Roman: Full disclosure, I didn’t have plans – I do now. We still on for the C&B eating contest?
We’d decided to finally settle the great ‘who could stuff more Cheese and Bacon Balls in their mouth’ debate, and we’d scheduled it for that night. We had also finally exchanged numbers, as if you couldn’t tell.
Me: I don’t know, I feel like you’ll have an unfair advantage if I’ve just been stuffing myself full of chips…
Roman: I’ll stuff you ;)
I snorted and put my phone away quickly.
“You right?” Hadley asked and I nodded.
“Yeah, just… Dad, you know.”
She gave me a funny look – which I didn’t blame if she knew who it had actually been and what he’d said – but she just nodded slowly as we took our seats.
The teacher looked around the room and I heard the mutter about yet another Roman no-show before she started checking out names off the roll.
After my phone went off a few more times I pulled it out.
Roman: *sigh* fine, we’ll reschedule the contest.
Roman: But just so you know I was in fine form for this afternoon.
Roman: [poop emoji]
Roman: [unicorn emoji]
Roman: *double sigh* I won’t even eat the packets we had ready… Happy?
Me: *snort* How very chivalrous!
Roman: It seemed apt.
Me: One day, you’re going to use that and get it wrong, and I will laugh SO hard!
Roman: Not possible. I totes know what it means.
I sent him the GIF from The Princess Bride for good measure and shoved my phone back in my pocket. I ignored the incessant buzzing the whole way through class – a double, yay! – and pulled it out again as I followed Hadley to her car. I opened my message centre to find a bunch of random GIFs. There were some John Cusack ones, one with a dancing poop emoji, a couple of Mean Girls ones, and one with a pineapple. There was also a video of him stacking it on his skateboard captioned ‘total accident’ with a winking face.
Me: You’re a total weirdo.
Roman: Takes one to know one.
“You quite right there?” Hadley asked with a smile as we pulled out of the car park.
“Fine, why?”
“You’re very into your phone at the moment. I thought Mason was driving?”
“Oh. Yeah, I don’t know–”
“I know he hasn’t said anything yet, babes. But, give him some time. He’s just being a gentleman.”
There was that word again; gentleman. Honestly, I was starting to think the whole concept was overrated. How the hell had the world functi
oned when gentlemen were in charge?
“Hads, at this rate, I’m going to lose interest or entirely lack the ability to believe he’s interested. We had the turtle talk like…five weeks ago! And, still nothing.”
“Not nothing! He asked you to Lacey’s last weekend.”
“He suggested I tag along on the group outing. That’s not exactly trying to shower me in love and affection.”
Hadley sighed. “Okay. Well, maybe you need to be more encouraging?”
“Like what?” I asked. “We hug. I even started kissing his cheek! I blush like a pro every time he smiles at me and I laugh at all his jokes. What else can I do?”
I felt my cheeks heat and I hoped they hadn’t gone pink as I remembered that I’d known exactly what to do with Roman. So, why didn’t I know what to do with Mason?
“I dunno, babes,” she said, pulling into a carpark between the park and the chip shop. “Let me think on it.”
“Or, maybe he doesn’t actually like me?”
“I feel like this is the preference for you?” Why did that seem to annoy her?
I shrugged. “Am I supposed to wait forever?”
“What other options do you have at the moment? I don’t see anyone else lining up for your hand.”
I looked down at my phone. “Yeah, I suppose,” I lied.
Although, was it really a lie?
We got out of the car and traipsed into the chip shop to wait for the others. When we had our packages safely secured, we hurried back over to the park and sat around, eating and chatting.
Mason and the boys had invited a few other friends and they were kicking a football around. As usual, Mason grinned at me, but I found myself comparing him to Roman. Not in like a ‘would Roman actually make a decent boyfriend kind of way’ but more a ‘how would I act if that was Roman’ sort of way.
If it had been Roman, I would have winked at him and teased him when he missed the mark or dropped the ball. Roman would have probably picked me up and insisted I play. If Roman were the type to kick a football around. But, he wasn’t. If he was the type to hang out anywhere public sober, he was the type to hang out at the skate park.
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