“Then, if that happens, I’m sure Anne will ask Wes to come back and run it since his two siblings can’t.”
“True,” Kam murmured, not having thought of that angle.
“You can always call Wes. I’m sure that would lift his spirits.”
Kam brightened at the idea. “I could. But I’ve been less than forthright about who I am and why I really came to the Elkhorn Ranch.”
“That’s something you should handle with him in person, then, not on a phone call, Kam. Especially when he’s stressed out over his father. He doesn’t need that kind of emotional stuff on top of what has already happened.”
“You always did teach me about timing, Mom. How important it is.”
“It’s very important, Kam. Never more than now.”
“Speaking of timing,” Kam said, looking out into the darkened night. “If I am Rudd’s daughter, how is he going to break the news to his family?”
RUDD SAT with the results of the DNA test outside the doctor’s office. Overhead, a cold front pushed through over the valley, threatening rain. The wind blew in powerful gusts, sometimes rocking the truck. Mouth grim, he stared at the results.
Kam Trayhern was his daughter.
His one night with Tracy Elizabeth Fielding had produced a child. Looking up, Rudd stared sightlessly across the parking lot. Plenty of tourists came to Jackson, which was the gateway to two national parks north of the cow town. People dotted the parking lot like colorfully painted birds in their summer apparel. He watched them smiling and laughing.
My God, what have I done?
His conscience was raw with guilt. Rudd placed the results back into the manila envelope. What was he going to do? Without a doubt, Allison would fly into a royal rage. Not that he could blame her. To have a child out of wedlock, well, he just never saw that one coming. Rudd dreaded the confrontation.
Pushing the hat back on his head, he gazed up at the pregnant dark gray clouds drifting across the town. A few splatters of rain hit the windshield. What would his son and daughter think of him? That ate more at Rudd than anything. Oh, he knew today’s generation thought nothing of having a child out of wedlock, but he came from a different time where that was frowned upon. Rudd had always presented himself as an upstanding citizen. He’d constantly told his children to aspire to keep their moral compass even with today’s degraded values. Integrity was everything.
Where was his integrity now? How could he face his children with this new truth about his early life? It hurt. He hurt. Rubbing his aching gut, Rudd closed his eyes for a moment. This was a day when he wished he wasn’t alive. That thought came and went quickly. Rudd knew he had to do the right thing and take the heat that was coming.
What about Kam? Rudd had been adopted and knew how terrible it felt not to know one’s parents. He had known his mother. Kam had never had the opportunity to know Elizabeth because she’d died when her daughter was only three months old. Kam had never known him, her biological father, either. Rudd saw that Kam’s life had been a lot harder than his. Like her, he’d lost his mother at birth. The only difference was that Rudd’s father didn’t want to be a parent. His father had foisted him off to the state to take care of him. Kam had never known anything about her father so she had never felt the pain of a father’s rejection.
Rubbing his brow, Rudd thought about the last couple of months while Kam had been at the ranch. Clearly, his mother doted upon her and now Rudd understood why. There was a silent connection between him, his mother and Kam. Iris had instinctively embraced Kam as a granddaughter more than as an employee. These results explained why. Somehow, unconsciously, Iris sensed that Kam was kin. Rudd knew that Allison wouldn’t embrace Kam at all. His wife would see Kam as an outsider causing nothing but trouble.
Quirking his mouth, Rudd pulled the hat down on his head and started the engine on his truck. Might as well get this over with, he thought. The longer he let it go, the more he and Kam would suffer.
“YOU’RE my daughter,” Rudd told Kam in the privacy of her suite. He handed her the test results. The expression on her face was one of absolute joy and it raised his spirits. She sat down on the couch and studied the report.
Rudd took the chair opposite and added, “I’ll recognize you legally as my daughter, Kam.”
Kam’s hands trembled as she stared down at the DNA data. She heard the determination in Rudd’s tone. Tears struck her and she self-consciously wiped them away. Looking up, she said in a wobbly voice, “I was so hoping you were my father….” Sniffing, she added, “Thank you. There were a lot of things you could have done instead, but you didn’t.”
Rudd shook his head and held her tear-filled gaze. “What?” he asked gently. “Turn you away like my real father did me? No, I know what that felt like, Kam. I’d never knowingly do that to anyone. Not ever.”
Unable to stop the tears, Kam stood and found some tissues. Blotting her eyes, she went over to where Rudd was sitting. The deep lines across his broad weather-beaten forehead and bracketing his mouth told her the anguish he was experiencing. “The only unanswered question is why my mother never contacted you. She was pregnant with me, Rudd. Why didn’t she tell you?”
Shrugging, Rudd felt the pain whisper through his heart. “I don’t know, Kam. I wish I did.”
A huge sigh broke from Kam’s lips. She blotted her cheeks dry of tears. “This isn’t easy on anyone. I’m sorry to come walking in here like this. I can see you’re suffering.” Kam looked at the closed door to her suite. “Are you going to tell your family about me?”
“Of course,” Rudd said. He reached out and slid his hand into hers and squeezed it gently. “We’ll all get through this, Kam. Don’t apologize. You’re the victim in this. You’re innocent. I’m the guy who did it and walked away. It’s my load to carry, not yours.”
His hand was rough, firm and warm. Kam absorbed his touch like a starving flower. “Thank you…” was all she could manage to get out of her tightened throat.
Rudd released her hand, stood up and brought his long arms around her. He embraced her gently and patted her on the back. “I’m sorry, Kam. I really am,” he told her in a strangled tone. “I didn’t mean to leave you out there in the world alone. I know what it’s like myself. I almost can’t stand that I did it to someone else.”
Resting her cheek against his chest, Kam closed her eyes and simply absorbed her father’s strong arms, his roughened voice and his awkward attempts to pat her back. Rudd Mason was trying to comfort her. Kam’s heart flew open with relief and joy. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she sobbed against his white cotton shirt.
“It’s gonna be okay,” Rudd murmured. “You have many years of grief and loss to cry out. Just let me hold you, Kam. The pain will work its way out of you.”
Kam didn’t know how long she cried in her father’s arms. Rudd was strong and steady. He held her like the fragile being she was. Finally, Kam lifted her head from his shirt front.
“I got your shirt wet,” she mumbled apologetically, touching the material.
Rudd smiled and released her. “Don’t worry about it. I have lots of bridges to repair with you, Kam.” He held her at arm’s length, cupping her shoulders and looking deeply into her blue eyes. “I hope you can forgive me. I promise, I’ll try to make up for lost time if you’ll let me. I want you to stay here with us. You’ve already made yourself an important part of this ranch. Iris loves you dearly, and I can see why you and my mother get along so well. Somehow, she must have felt that connection.” He managed a wry smile. “Women continually amaze me. Especially my mother.”
“Thank you for everything, Rudd.” Kam smiled tearfully.
“You can call me Dad, Father, Pop, Pa or whatever you like,” he said gravely. “I’ll answer to anything.”
Touched, Kam gulped and wiped the remnants of her tears away. As Rudd released her, she saw the grief and sadness on his face. Somehow, Kam wanted to lift his spirits. “There’s nothing to forgive, Rudd. You didn’t know
my mother was pregnant. You tried to contact her, but she didn’t return your calls. There’s no fault here on your part.”
“Okay, sunshine.” Rudd smiled a little. “Hey, that fits you.”
“I like it.”
“It just seemed,” Rudd said, hooking his thumbs into his belt, “that when you came, Iris perked up tremendously. She’s in better health now than I’ve seen her in the last decade. And I felt happy about having you here, too. Oh, I know you came as a caregiver, but I felt there was something more to you.” Shaking his head, Rudd said, “Now, I understand why. When I saw you, my spirit always lifted. No matter what was going on, or how tough the day was or the stresses involved, seeing you did my heart good.”
“Thank you for that, Rudd.” Kam stuffed the damp tissue into her pocket. “We just need time to adjust.”
“Of course,” he said, picking up his hat from the glass coffee table. “There’s no rush here to call me anything but Rudd. I understand. We have a lot of things to deal with,” he warned Kam, his hat dangling between his fingers. “I need to talk with my wife.”
Grimacing, Kam said, “I don’t envy you at all.”
“No, I don’t, either. And my children have to know, as well. I have a lot of fences to mend, Kam. You need to understand this is my cross to carry—not yours. I’m hoping my family will take this in stride. I don’t know what will happen. But whatever comes out in the wash, just know that none of it is your fault. Don’t ever forget that you’re the innocent in this.” He drilled her with a look. “I expect my mother will be happy. I don’t expect my wife will be. Things are going to be upset for a while. Just don’t take any of it personally. You got that?”
Kam saw the seriousness in Rudd’s narrowed eyes. She heard the warning in his gravelly tone. “I understand.”
Heading for the door, Rudd turned. “I’m seeing my mother first. Why don’t you take the day off? I’ve got a lot of explaining to do with the family. I’ll drop by and see you tonight. By then, the truth will be out and we’ll decide how to ride out any storms this news creates.”
Kam saw his crooked grin but heard his apprehension. “I’ll be a ghost today,” she promised him. “In fact, I can go over to Chappy and ask him how I can be of help around the ranch.”
“Thank you. I’d appreciate any help you can give Chappy. Without Wes here, I feel like I’m missing my right arm.”
Laughing a little, Kam nodded. “No problem, Rudd.”
Rudd grinned a little, opened the door and quietly left.
Kam stood in the swirling silence. Rudd had fully embraced her as his daughter. All the fears she’d had, all the nightmares of Rudd kicking her out and disavowing her, melted away. The relief was sharp and she outwardly trembled, the weight dissolving.
Kam needed to call Laura and Morgan. She wanted to talk to someone who loved her, who trusted her and would protect her private life. As she turned and sat down on the couch, her heart squeezed. Punching in the numbers, Kam felt sorry for Rudd. He was equally a victim in this, too. Oh, she knew he had taken responsibility for everything, but the real truth was that her mother had refused communication with him. Why, Kam realized, she would never know.
Joy threaded through her, deep and sweet. She had a father now. Her birth father. And he loved her. And he wanted her to stay at the ranch. In just a few moments, her entire life had changed dramatically and forever.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
KAM COULDN’T STAND to wait, so she set to work on a series of photos on her laptop. Chappy had assigned her to design the new ranch brochure, which she could do in the quiet and comfort of her suite. Somehow, she couldn’t concentrate. At least she’d called her adoptive parents and told them the news.
Nearly an hour had passed while she sat at her desk before a soft knock came at the door.
“Come in…” Kam turned as Iris poked her head into the room.
“Chappy said I’d find you here working on our new brochure.” It was easy to read Iris’s face. The woman was shocked.
Standing up, Kam rubbed her hands against her thighs, then gestured to the couch. “Come and sit down. May I get you anything? Coffee?”
Iris smiled and quietly shut the door. “Heavens no.” She went over to Kam, gripped her arms and said, “Rudd told me everything.” Her voice became strained. “He found me out in the greenhouse with my flowers. I don’t know who cried more—me or him.” She released her granddaughter’s arms and smiled. “Come, sit with me,” she urged, patting the leather couch.
Kam sat down next to her. As soon as she did, Iris held her hand. “He told you about my mother, that I’m his daughter?”
“Yes.” Iris lifted her hand and pushed several silver strands away from her brow. “This explains so much to me, Kam. From the moment I saw you, I felt my heart tug. I couldn’t understand why I had this emotional reaction to you. Now I know why. You’re my granddaughter.”
Seeing the tears gather in Iris’s eyes, Kam choked up. She patted her hand. “And you’re my grandmother.” Tears leaked from her eyes. “I could never have dreamed of having such a wonderful grandmother like you, Iris.”
“You’re the grandchild I was pining for. Regan and Zach never took any interest in the ranch, what I was doing or the care of our land. They are their mother’s children through and through. Well, now I have a grandchild who is of the land like my son and myself—you.”
Kam stroked Iris’s hand. “I was thinking about that, too, how different Regan and Zach are from you and Rudd. When I was waiting for the results of the DNA testing, I hoped I was Rudd’s child.” Kam looked around the quiet room. Outside the picture window, in the distance, the green grass was spotted with Herefords. Taking a deep breath, Kam admitted, “Iris, I feel badly that I came here under false pretenses. Hope got me here, but I just didn’t have the courage to confront Rudd directly about this early on. I hope you can forgive me.” She searched the other woman’s eyes.
“Listen, I know what Rudd went through when he was a young man. We never lied to him about his origins. But we also saw the hole in his heart from not knowing why his father had abandoned him. He spent several years, off and on, tracking him down. Trevor and I understood why Rudd had to do that. There’s a drive to know who you are, where you came from and why you are the way you are.” She patted Kam’s hand again. “And you were on the same quest. I can understand why you came here under cover. Sometimes, when you have a gut hunch, it’s easier to just fit in and observe. I don’t blame you for taking your time.”
Kam nodded. “Thank you for understanding.”
“I won’t judge you, Kam. I know being adopted can put a terrible burden on the child. Trevor and I cried in each other’s arms many nights because we could see how heavy the load was for Rudd to bear. I can’t tell you how helpless we felt for our son.”
“Yes, that’s how I’ve felt all my life. My adopted parents are wonderful, though,” Kam offered. “I hope you meet them, because they are the most loving people I’ve ever known.”
“And they supported you coming here? Following your heart?”
“Yes, they did. I had a lot of talks with them about being here incognito. They knew the guilt I carried over it. I—I just was so scared, Iris.”
“You were worried that we’d reject you.”
Iris had spoken the words so quietly that at first Kam thought she’d imagined hearing. Looking deeply into Iris’s eyes, however, she saw that the older woman understood as few ever would. “Yes, that’s the real fear I carried in here,” she said, touching her heart. “I was afraid if I asked Rudd to give his DNA to compare it to mine, that he’d get angry and turn me down. Especially given the history with my mother.”
“Rudd admitted something I want you to hold secret, Kam.” Iris shook her head sadly. “Rudd fell hopelessly in love with your mother at the convention. He said he felt poleaxed the first moment he laid eyes on her. That was why he’d spontaneously asked her out to dinner. Rudd’s a real shy, conservative t
ype. He’s not likely to march up to a woman and make such a date. Then, at this same conference he met Allison. She was dancing to music at a chemical company booth that had hired her as a ‘starlet.’” Mouth thinning, Iris continued, “We all know Allison was never a starlet. She lives that delusion in her head, but she never made it in Hollywood, and, like a lot of young women trying to beat down that door, she took gigs at conventions to make ends meet.”
Shrugging, Iris said, “I feel Allison chased him all the way home after that convention because she knew he was a very rich rancher. She saw money and security in a man like Rudd.”
Kam couldn’t put her shock and regret into words.
“Allison didn’t marry Rudd because she loved him,” Iris said, derision in her tone. “And my son is one of those people who believes what he is told. Allison, twenty-eight years ago, was a very beautiful and sensual young woman. She used her body and her sex to trap him.”
“Did you ever talk to Rudd about Allison and the reasons she wanted to marry him?”
“Oh, yes.” Iris released Kam’s hand and sat back on the couch. “In some ways, I’m afraid we drove Rudd into Allison’s arms. We told him she was a gold digger—a woman who only wanted his money and his security, not him. He refused to believe us, of course. It became such a bone of contention between us that Rudd ran off to Las Vegas and married her.”
“That’s so sad,” Kam whispered.
Iris added, “And wouldn’t you know? Eight months to the day after Allison ran off and married Rudd, she had Regan. Having a baby that soon after her marriage to Rudd was a way to make sure the marriage wouldn’t end up in divorce. Rudd is one of those old-fashioned men who believes that once he marries, it’s forever. Doesn’t matter how rough it gets or even that he made a mistake in his choice. He’ll stick it out to the bitter end.”
Kam’s eyes widened. “Has Rudd considered divorcing Allison?”
Iris shrugged again. “Not at first. Rudd was blinded by her beauty, her sensuality. He’d never been chased by a woman like that.” Waving her hand, Iris said, “Out here in ranch country, you just don’t meet that many women, and the ones you do meet sure aren’t glamorous.”
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