by Mike Hopper
“Don’t say that to me. You’re not allowed to say that to me. Steuart will come home. You’ll see.”
“Okay, okay. I hope you’re right. Maybe it would be good for you to spend a little time talking with that friend of yours, Dr. Klesel.”
“Yes, I need to see Dr. Klesel. May I go now?”
* * *
Ida stood when her granddaughter walked into the waiting room. “Are you okay?”
“I’m ready to go.”
“What did you tell them?”
“I told them the truth.”
Ida stopped, sighed and looked at her granddaughter. “Why Samantha?”
“I know what you said, but I also know that you’ve always taught us to be honest. I had to tell the truth. It was the right thing to do.” Sam shook her head, “But it didn’t matter.”
“Why?”
“They didn’t believe me.”
Ida put her arm around Sam’s shoulder and hugged her close as they approached the elevator. “I understand.”
“Do you?”
“Yes, I’m proud of you. You did the right thing. You’re a good person Samantha DuBoise.”
“Are we going home now?”
“Not yet. Your mother asked me to take you to see Dr. Klesel.”
“That’s good. We need to talk.”
* * *
Snow fell heavily. Sam couldn’t see the Preserve across the river as she watched the snow from Dr. Klesel’s window. She touched the glass and wondered if Steuart was somewhere warm. Dr. Klesel sat in his chair and waited for Sam to begin. She knew he was concerned. Everyone was concerned. “What’s going on Sam?”
“We traveled to Bellamy.”
“Where’s that?”
“It’s an anagrammatic place.”
“How far is it?”
“Think of sister cities, but not. It’s another place. It’s far away. Think of parallel universes. No, don’t think that because you’ll think I don’t know what I’m saying. Just think of similar communities that are close by, but places that you can’t reach using standard means of transportation.” Sam looked at the doctor. She turned back to the window, touched the foggy glass and drew a happy face with her finger.
“How do you get there?”
“Tree house.”
“Tree house?”
“Yes—tree house.”
“Both ways?”
“Yes—yes and no. I came back by the tree house but ended up in Atchison Point at my grandmother’s house, but that was a mistake.”
“What was the mistake?”
“I was missing her. I always miss Grandmother. We traveled by accident and I was wishing for her because she always helps us when we have a problem.”
“What was the problem?”
“It’s complicated.”
Sam continued looking out the window. She wondered if Dr. Klesel thought she was nuts too.
“Does this involve the tree house where you go and play?”
“Yes, it’s the same place we went the night that Olivia gave me the book.”
“Olivia?”
“You know, she tells people she’s my mother. She adopted me when I was a baby.”
“You sound angry Sam.”
“I am angry. I’m worried about Steuart. Ed is looking for him now. Steuart wouldn’t be there if Olivia hadn’t killed Trista.”
“Olivia killed Trista?”
“You’re not going to believe me.”
“Why do you say that?”
Sam turned around and dropped her jaw in disbelief. She gasped and rolled her eyes deliberately. “Let’s try this—because even though you never look like you disbelieve me, you never look as if you actually believe me.”
“How do I look?”
Sam shrugged her shoulders, “No special way.” She smirked and shook her head, “Right now I feel like you don’t believe me.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“Look, I’m just a little girl. I’m twelve years old. Everyone says that children don’t know enough to know anything. Our thoughts are discounted like something at the dollar store that’s been damaged or bought in bulk. Whenever anyone sees a child in the room, instantly whatever that child says is marked down because the child is a child. It happens for no other reason. The value of what comes from the mouth of a child is diminished for no other reason than the fact that it came from the mouth of a child.”
“Why is that?”
“How would I know? I’m a child. That’s all I am. No one ever believes children when they have something out of the ordinary to say.”
“What do you want to say?”
“Aren’t you listening? I’ve been telling you. Why would you believe me? Even if I have solid proof, how can I be sure-as-Matt about anything? You’ll never believe that I can know something, or experience something that’s beyond your level of knowledge because your mind forces you to wonder why a child would experience something you have not. Steuart found a good word for that.”
“What’s the word?”
“Arrogance. I’m a girl who collects colors and expects them to work magic. Now I’m telling you that my brother is trapped in an anagrammatic universe. Why would you believe me? Even if I were a grown up you’d probably think I’m crazy. It’s just that type of thing.”
“Maybe—what happened when you and Steuart were in Bellamy? Why did you go?”
“You don’t want to know. You just want to think about what’s wrong with me.”
“I want to hear what you have to say.”
Sam took a deep breath, looked down at her feet and then at Dr. Klesel. She looked over at the end table and noticed the box of tissues. She walked over to Dr. Klesel, opened her backpack and removed Trista. She held her close before handing her to the doctor. He shook his head, “I don’t understand. What are you trying to tell me?”
“My mother didn’t think we needed the dolls. You knew that.”
“Yes, I did.”
“She didn’t want us to have them. I was with her that day when she told you how she felt.”
“That’s true. She and I’ve talked about the fact that she didn’t want you to have dolls.”
“She said it was an accident, but I don’t believe her.” Sam began to cry. “You trusted me to keep Trista safe. I didn’t do my job. I’m responsible.” Sam looked at Dr. Klesel, “I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Olivia killed her.”
“Trista looks fine to me. She looks beautiful.”
“She looks perfect because I took her to an expert and had her repaired. It only worked on her exterior. She looks beautiful, but Trista isn’t with us anymore. She stopped talking. She stopped moving. She stopped doing anything.”
Dr. Klesel looked quizzically at Sam, “How does your mother fit into this?”
“Olivia said I’m responsible for what happened to Trista because I left her on the bed when I went to be with Steuart at the hospital. I didn’t take care of her like I was supposed to. I didn’t put her away like I was told. Olivia said that I’m the one ultimately responsible for what happened. If I’d put her away, Olivia wouldn’t have had the accident and crushed Trista’s skull into so many pieces. I may be a murderer and now I’m responsible for what’s happening to my brother too.”
“Did you do something to harm your brother?”
“Oh, no. I would never do that.”
“Did you throw Trista against a hard surface, or hit her with something like a hammer?”
“Trista? Did I throw Trista? No. I would never do that either. I can’t even believe you’d ask me these questions. I left her on my bed. That’s what I did. I should’ve taken her with me to the hospital, or I should have hidden her. I should have done something to protect her. You trusted me to. She trusted me too.” Tears covered Sam’s face. She had trouble catching her breath.”
“Take your time. Do you need your inhaler?”
“No. I’m okay,” S
am shook her head. “But, Trista isn’t. I’m responsible.”
“You didn’t harm Trista. You’ve taken good care of her.”
“I left her at home. I didn’t put her away.”
“Sam, as I understand this, you left the doll on your bed, in your bedroom. What you do not understand is that your bedroom should be a safe place to leave a doll. Trista wasn’t left outside or treated in a careless manner. She wasn’t left on the floor. She wasn’t even left in another part of the house. A doll on your bed, in your bedroom, should be safe.”
“You don’t understand. I found her when I got home from the hospital. She was in a plastic bag. Her head was smashed to pieces. Olivia told me she had an accident. Ed told me the truth about what happened.”
“Ed?”
“Your doll,” Sam nodded, “Ed Camino, the comedian. He’s the one who explained everything to Steuart and me about Bellamy.”
“He explained?”
“Yes, he explained to us about traveling, about how to get there, and about how he got here.”
“My dolls are talking to you?” Dr. Klesel put down his clipboard and leaned forward in his chair.
“We talk all the time. Well—Trista did until she was broken.”
“You’re having conversations with my dolls?”
“Yes. I know. You’re thinking that I have a real problem. I can hear it now—she’s talking to dolls. The patient is talking to dolls. You’re going to suggest sending me away somewhere.”
“No,” he said softly and shook his head. “I’m not.”
“If the dolls aren’t talking to me, I may actually be crazy, but they are talking to me. I know it.”
Dr. Klesel leaned back in his chair and sat silently.
“In the beginning,” Sam said, “Steuart and I were not sure about things. When Ed began explaining things to us, we were skeptical too. I understand—it seems far-fetched that they came from another world, but hey, they’re dolls and they talk, right? That’s enough to make you realize that other things are possible too. When Trista was hurt, we found the doll hospital. When we picked her up she looked beautiful, but she didn’t talk anymore. Another experience led us to realize that Ed and Trista were telling us the truth—but it took a while before everything made sense.”
“What was that?”
“One time when we were at the tree house we noticed that the four o’clock train came by twice.”
“What does that mean?”
“We didn’t know in the beginning, but Ed explained it to us. What we know now is that we were in Maybell and then in Bellamy. We heard the train in both places.”
“What?”
“Think about it. There’s a slight lag in the time.”
“Why didn’t you know without the train?”
“Because we traveled accidentally and we were only there a short time. We didn’t even leave the tree house.”
“Oh.”
“We saw a few things that were strange and we heard the train come by twice.”
“Strange, what things?”
“I saw a bench, then I didn’t see it.”
“What’s it like in Bellamy?”
“Just like Maybell in some ways but different in others.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re getting off the track. I need to keep telling you about what happened. I have to find my brother.”
“Okay.”
“Olivia broke Trista. After that, we didn’t know what to do. I took her to a doll hospital. They repaired her.”
“That’s what you said.”
“Yes, but she was just a doll. She stopped being real.”
“What else can you tell me?
“Dolls change size from time to time. It depends. Ed always tells us that it can be unpredictable. It seems more unpredictable than not. Timing is everything.”
“Do you think there might be other possible explanations for what you’ve experienced?”
“I don’t know. I need to find Steuart.” Sam frowned, “I wish I could have saved Trista. I think it’s too late.”
“For your brother?”
“No, for Trista.” Sam shook her head and looked off in the distance, “I’ve always thought that my colors were magic, but so far they’ve not done a thing to help. I’m disappointed.”
“You’ve told me the colors lead you. Colors led you to the tree house.”
“Look where that got us.”
For a minute, the two sat in complete silence. Sam thought about what she wanted to say, “Shark Yeller, maybe I should trust myself more, but I’m so sad about Trista. I’m worried about Steuart. The only thing that feels good is that my grandmother’s here. I forgot to tell you. She’s in the waiting room. She asked if she could say hello to you. She’ll be going back to Atchison Point soon.”
“I’d like to meet her. We have a few more minutes, let’s talk more about your experience.”
“Good idea,” Sam nodded. “I have a few questions for you. You gave us the dolls. Certainly you know about them. What do you know? What can you tell me?”
Dr. Klesel glanced at the clock. “We can talk about all of that later. If I’m going to meet your grandmother, we should stop for now. It’s later than I realized.”
Dr. Klesel and Sam walked into the waiting room. Ida stood, smiled, and extended her hand. Sam introduced the two.
“Have we met before?”
“No, I don’t believe we have. I’m visiting Maybell.”
Dr. Klesel frowned, “You look familiar. I wish I’d known you were here at the beginning of Sam’s session. My next appointment is a little late. If you’d like to step into my office, we can talk a couple of minutes.”
Ida looked at Sam, “Is that okay with you?”
“I’ll be in the lobby.”
“Please don’t leave the building.”
“I won’t. I’ll be close to the elevator downstairs.”
With that Ida went into Dr. Klesel’s office. Sam walked into the hall, got on the elevator, and rode down.
* * *
In the lobby, Sam walked to the back windows and looked out at the snow. She held Trista close as she thought about Steuart and Ed. Sam’s heart was broken. She wanted to help Trista. She wondered how soon she would hear from Ed. She also wondered how soon her brother would come home. Sam wanted to cry. “Wait until you’re in your room,” she whispered to herself. Sam didn’t want to go home. She was uncomfortable about seeing her mother.
A voice came from across the lobby, “Samantha DuBoise, do you remember me?” A young girl walked over and stood next to Sam. “Hello.”
“We have an appointment. We’re already running late,” a woman called to the girl from the elevator.
“I know. He won’t mind. I’ll be upstairs in a minute. Please tell him I’m saying hello to a friend.”
The woman pushed the elevator button and spoke firmly as the doors closed, “Don’t take long.”
The girl looked at Sam, “You don’t recognize me. You were my visitor at the hospital. You sang to me. I remember you.”
Sam smiled, “I remember you too.”
“Do you remember my name?”
“Yes—Dotsie. You look much better today. I like your hat.”
“Thank you,” She reached up and touched her hat, “I’m in remission.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“I’m happy to see you again. Your doll is very beautiful. What’s her name?”
“Trista. She’s an artist.”
“How pretty.”
“She isn’t feeling well.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Dotsie looked at the doll and then asked Sam, “Will you visit me? We can have a tea party. I live on the twelfth floor of the other tower.” She pointed, “Over there. I’d like to learn the song you sang when you visited. Maybe I can teach you one too. I’d also like for you to meet my doll.”
“You have a doll?”
“Yes.”
“
You’re going to see Dr. Klesel? He’s my doctor too.”
“Yes,” Dotsie nodded. “I have a doll. He’s not mine. Dr. Klesel is letting me borrow him. His name is Toriah Toroar.”
“That’s a name.”
“It is.”
“I’ll see if I can come. Thank you for the invitation.”
“I hope you will.”
“They’ll probably let me. I live over there.” Sam pointed in the direction of her house. “I’ll look forward to meeting your doll.”
“How’s your brother?”
Sam looked off in the distance, “He’s missing.”
Dotsie put her hand over her mouth, “Missing? Oh, no, that’s awful.”
“I know.”
“I wish I could do something to help you.” Dotsie reached out and put her hand on Sam’s.
“Thank you.” Sam felt a tear in her eye and worried that she was about to start crying. She shook her head, “Don’t worry about Steuart. I know where he is, and I have a friend who’s trying to help me get him home.”
Dotsie pulled a pen and paper from her purse and began writing, “This is my number and this is the number for our condo. You must come to my house. I’ll expect you tomorrow at three.” Dotsie began walking towards the elevator, “I have to go now. Please come.”
Ida walked off the elevator as Dotsie walked on. Dotsie turned and waved to Sam, “Promise me.”
“I’ll do my best.”
They waved good-bye as the elevator door closed.
Ida walked towards her granddaughter, “You have a new friend?”
“I do.”
* * *
Sam dreaded going home. She knew she would have a difficult time explaining things to her mother. Olivia had no idea what was going on. She was wound up. She was worried and angry. She wanted to find her son and said that no one was doing what he or she should. “Just explain things to me. Where did you leave your brother?” Olivia looked exhausted. Her face was covered with tears.
“I don’t know.” Sam decided not to tell her mother what was happening. She remembered Ed’s advice and whispered to herself, “Know your audience.”
“Why is this happening to me?” Olivia asked her mother and then turned towards her daughter. “Sam, please go to bed now unless there’s something more that you can tell me. I’m exhausted.”