by KI Thompson
“Now, Ellen, you’ve just met the man. Give him time.”
“I already did, Joan, and his time’s up.” She pushed open the front door and sped to her car.
After stopping at a pharmacy in Alexandria, she raced along the George Washington Parkway and didn’t stop until she pulled into the underground garage in her building. She pounded loudly on Kate’s door and called out, afraid Kate might have fainted or was more seriously injured than she’d let on.
“Jesus Christ,” Kate exclaimed, yanking the door open. “Is the building on fire?”
“I wasn’t sure if you could hear me,” Ellen said, scanning Kate for injuries.
“The guy in the building across the street can hear you, for crying out loud. Oh, and by the way, he said to tell you to keep it down.”
Undaunted, Ellen pushed her way inside and made Kate sit on the couch. She saw the towel wrapped around Kate’s hand and braced herself. Slowly unwrapping the damp cloth, she took Kate’s hand and scrutinized it. “Where are you hurt?”
“Right there.” Kate pointed to a spot on the tip of her index finger.
“Where?”
“Right there,” Kate repeated, squeezing the finger until a tiny drop of blood oozed out.
“You mean to tell me that’s your bloody gash?” Ellen nearly collapsed with relief.
“I never said it was a bloody gash.”
“I drove like a bat out of hell thinking you were seriously injured and this is all you have? I left my parents’ party early for this?”
“You’re the one who decided to leave early,” Kate said defensively. “All I asked you to do was stop and pick up some bandages on your way home.”
“But you scared the hell out of me.” Kate peered at Ellen curiously. She was obviously upset, but Kate couldn’t figure out why. It actually seemed Ellen cared about what happened to her. The thought began to fill a hole in her heart she didn’t know existed.
“I’m sorry, Ellen. And I’m sorry you left the party early. I hope Sandra isn’t too upset.”
Ellen shook her head. “The party was dull and Sandra couldn’t make it after all.”
Kate caught a smirk forming on her lips but stopped it instantly.
“Oh, I’m really sorry.”
“Yeah, well, I’m just glad you’re okay. Sorry if I overreacted.” Ellen examined Kate’s finger but couldn’t find any glass.
They went into the kitchen where she washed and dried the finger and wrapped a bandage around it. When she finished, she lifted the finger to her lips to kiss it, as though Kate were a child and she wanted to make it feel better. When she glanced up, Kate’s eyes focused intently on hers. She couldn’t describe the swirling emotions she saw there, but a tremble that began in her knees crawled up her spine to the back of her neck.
“Thanks,” Kate murmured.
“You’re welcome,” Ellen whispered, still holding on to the finger. The sound of her heart thudding in her ears and the feel of white-hot heat spreading through her body took her by surprise.
A second later they separated, an awkward silence filling the space between them.
“Well, it’s late and I should let you get to bed.” Ellen picked up her purse and headed for the door.
“Yeah, talk to you tomorrow.” Kate was confused about what had just happened. No one had ever come to her rescue before. She was intrigued. Someone actually cared for her. The last time she could recall anyone caring for her had been her dog Jake. She was heartbroken for years after the collie had passed away. Oh, but there was her first girlfriend back in college. She thought she had been in love then, but when the woman dumped her a year later, Kate thought her heart would never mend. The memory of it made her think of Ellen in a different light, and it made her uneasy.
Ellen was being extremely kind, but Kate didn’t want her to feel sorry for her or anything like that. If Ellen thought they could be buddies, she was dead wrong. And Ellen surely wouldn’t think of her romantically—she was too attractive and accomplished to be interested in her. Even if she were, Kate was unable to return the feelings. Ellen was the type of woman who wanted forever.
Kate had never wanted that before, and especially now it seemed impossible.
❖
Ellen pushed her cart down the personal-care aisle, selecting last-minute items for their trip tomorrow. She was looking forward to spending more time with Kate, especially since the cut-finger incident. Something had sparked between them. She had felt it and was sure Kate had as well. At least she hoped so, or was it just wishful thinking? The more she dwelled on it, the more she believed it was impossible. Kate was drop-dead gorgeous, while she was overweight and plain—nothing special. What could Kate possibly see in her?
She finished collecting what was on her list for both of them and headed toward the checkout. As she rounded the aisle toward a cashier, she saw Linda and Janice in line.
“Well, hello, you two.”
“Ellen, how are you?” Linda hugged her. “We thought you’d left already.”
“Tomorrow. I was going to call tonight to say good-bye, but you can always reach me on my cell, too.”
“Yeah. We phoned a couple of weeks ago, Saturday night, I think, but you weren’t home. We didn’t leave a message, though, and then things got so busy.” Janice began placing items from their cart on the conveyor belt.
“I was at my parents’,” Ellen replied. “It was a dismal party, and Sandra had to work late.”
Linda looked at her oddly. “Saturday night? Just before finals?”
“Yes.” Ellen placed a separation bar on the belt and began to unload her cart.
Linda glanced at Janice, who shook her head quickly. But not quickly enough.
“What?” Ellen asked.
“Nothing.” Janice’s shrug seemed phony.
“Spill it,” Ellen demanded. “What about Saturday night?” Her friends were silent for several seconds, then Linda said, “We, uh…saw Sandra…that night.”
“Oh?” Ellen supposed that must have been late, too late for her to drive all the way to Alexandria.
Linda didn’t answer. When they put the last item on the belt and began a conversation with the checkout person, Ellen knew something was going on.
“Come on, you two, you’re supposed to be my best friends.” Linda sighed heavily. “We saw her at Rosie’s…around seven o’clock, I guess it was…”
She and Janice ventured nothing further, and from their awkwardness Ellen knew Sandra hadn’t been alone. She stood very still, the familiar pain of rejection clutching at her heart and stomach. “I see.”
While she finished checking out, Linda and Janice waited for her by the exit. They walked her to her car and helped load her groceries in the trunk.
“Listen, Ellen—” Linda began.
“No, it’s fine. Look, we haven’t dated that much. We never said our arrangement was exclusive. Both of us are free to see whomever we please.”
“But she lied to you.” Janice sounded angry.
“She was probably trying to avoid hurting my feelings. It’s okay, really.” Ellen closed the trunk and opened her car door. “Listen, I’ve got to run. I have a ton of stuff to do before I leave in the morning. Would you guys mind checking in on General Beau a few times? Kelly takes wonderful care of him and plays with him far more than I do. But he does like you both and variety is always nice.”
“We’d be glad to,” Janice said.
“Have a great trip.” Linda hugged Ellen tightly. “Be careful, and call us when you discover something interesting. And let us know when you’ll be back in town so we can get together for dinner.”
“Will do.” Ellen waved as they headed toward their car, but when she could no longer see them, she dropped her cheerful demeanor.
Buckling herself into her seat, she tried to catch her breath, tried to prevent the tears that welled up inside her. It’s no big deal. It’s no big deal. She’s just been really busy for the last three weeks.
&n
bsp; She stared out the windshield, willing herself not to care. But it was no use. She put her hands on the steering wheel, placed her forehead on her hands, and let the tears drip silently onto her hands and the steering wheel.
The life and spirit ebbed out of her, leaving a defeated, empty feeling. Sometimes it was so exhausting to maintain a happy exterior.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
The morning of the nineteenth dawned gray and dreary, and rain drizzled sporadically like confetti remnants the day after a party. Ellen stowed the luggage in the trunk of her car and placed a small cooler on the floor behind the driver’s seat. She had filled it with water, fruit, and healthy snacks. Not her normal travel fare, but she didn’t want Kate to think she lived off Snickers bars, potato chips, and Cokes, even if she did and had the figure to prove it.
Normally Ellen looked forward to her research, and she should have felt especially exhilarated having Kate, the object of her fantasies, along for the ride. But the incident with Sandra had left her in an emotional tailspin, a nosedive she couldn’t climb out of.
If Sandra wasn’t interested in her, what on earth made her think someone like Kate would ever be? Ellen understood that a reality check was precisely what she needed so she wouldn’t make a fool of herself, but it dampened her spirits.
With the luggage all accounted for, she now had to get Kate into the car, a feat she didn’t look forward to. Last night, when they discussed the details of the trip, Kate had tried to come up with every excuse she could. However, Ellen could sense that her heart wasn’t in the protests, and the argument had faded away with the night. She slammed the trunk closed and went upstairs.
“You’re sure about this,” Kate said the moment she opened her door. She wore a Cubs baseball cap, the brim pulled low over her face.
“Yes, I’m sure.” Ellen grasped Kate’s arm and coaxed her out the door. “Let’s go to my place so I can say one last good-bye to Beau, then we’re off.”
After kissing her cat several times and making sure the note she’d left for Kelly was in the usual place, she locked her door and they took the elevator to the garage. Ellen pressed the remote door-unlock on her key chain and Kate scurried to the passenger-side door of Ellen’s car. Once inside, she slouched in her seat and slid on a pair of dark sunglasses.
Ellen hoped Kate would eventually relax and enjoy herself.
“It’ll be okay,” she said as she started the engine. “Breathe in and out and you’ll be fine.”
“I’m not a child,” Kate snapped, but she inhaled deeply.
Ellen rolled her eyes. It was going to be a long day. While she was glad for the company, she had to remind herself this wasn’t vacation. This was work, even if Kate was wearing cologne that made her pulse quicken.
They took Interstate 66 out of Washington and headed southwest toward the Manassas battlefield. Ellen wanted to begin with a visual inspection of the battlefields between Washington and Richmond. The first major battle of the war—First Manassas or First Bull Run, depending on which side you fought—was the logical starting point. Getting a feel for the landscape was always important in understanding a battle, and besides, she loved the process.
Kate sat quietly as Ellen drove, puzzled by her lack of exuberance and chattiness. Ellen seemed unusually withdrawn, especially for the start of what should be an exciting day. Maybe she was just getting into the zone, like Kate used to prior to going on air.
It’s really none of your business.
By the time they passed Centreville, the mist began to dissipate and the sun finally peeked out from behind rapidly disappearing clouds. They turned into the drive off Sudley Road, pulled into the near-empty parking lot in front of the visitors’ center, and went inside.
In the back of the building, beyond the damp grassy fields, stood the widow Henry’s home with its obelisk monument to the battle. Ellen scanned the bank of trees off to her right where Stonewall Jackson had earned his famous nom de guerre, imagining the row of cannon he brought to bear on Union troops.
She led Kate past the Henry house, and as they crested the hill, she could see in the distance Matthews Hill and the Stone House down below. An eerie fog, caused by a combination of warmth and receding mist, spread across the ground, giving the landscape an ethereal glow. Ellen had chills and tingled like she always did when she walked a battlefield. She could feel the anguish suffered there long ago.
“So.” Kate glanced about. “Where was Lee situated and where was Grant?”
Ellen smothered a grin but kept her eyes fixed on the distant hill. “Lee was in Richmond and Grant out west,” she murmured.
“Confederate Generals Beauregard and Johnston fought Union General McDowell in the First Battle of Manassas. It was the first major battle of the Civil War.”
“I thought Fort Sumter was the first.”
“Technically it was, but with limited troop engagement and no fatalities, so it doesn’t really qualify as a major battle. Actually, after the bombardment, the North saluted the lowering of the flag at the fort by firing cannon. A spark caught nearby ordnance on fire and exploded, killing two Union soldiers.”
“So it got the ball rolling?”
“Militarily, yes,” Ellen said. “There were other minor skirmishes, but First Manassas was an all-out battle between two armies.”
“And the North won, right?” Kate asked.
Ellen laughed. Switching her attention from the surroundings back to Kate, she was caught off guard. Kate stood in profile, her scar on the opposite side, her hair blowing gently in the breeze. It was the first time Ellen had seen her in natural sunlight, and she was every bit as breathtaking as she appeared on television. Even outdoors she required no touchup to her flawless skin. Ellen wished she would remove the cap and sunglasses so she could see her fully.
“Actually, First Manassas was a disaster for the North,” she said. “Thanks to badly uncoordinated troop movements and poor generalship, portents of what was to come. In fairness, the South wasn’t much better. The tide turned in their favor only after more Confederate troops arrived late in the day. A brigade from the Shenandoah Valley even came by rail, the first time trains were used in such a way.”
Kate observed a few visitors listening to Ellen’s comments and was proud to be with someone so knowledgeable. It was like having a private tour guide. “How many were killed?” she asked. She found herself like one of the visitors, caught up in Ellen’s vast knowledge and the enthusiasm evident in her descriptions. Standing on the battlefield while Ellen pointed to critical sights and heart-wrenching moments made the history that much more alive. Kate could almost hear and smell the battle, and she marveled that such things could happen in America. History in school had never been so real.
“About five thousand casualties, more than the death toll of the Revolution after eight years of fighting. The country had never seen anything like it, but in retrospect, it was minor compared to later battles.”
Ellen pointed out troop placements and movements, oblivious to the gathering visitors. Every once in a while, someone would glance at Kate, then stare in recognition. She would turn and pretend to look at something of interest elsewhere, hiding her scar and squelching the urge to flee. After walking the fields together, with Ellen taking notes and saying hello to some of the rangers she knew, they returned to the car and headed out of the park.
“Where to now?” Kate asked.
“Fredericksburg. Have you ever been there?” Kate shook her head. “I may have driven past it once.”
“It’s another important battlefield.”
“But this time the North won?”
Delighted that Kate was making a game of this rivalry, Ellen said, “Nope. Different generals, too, although Lee was there. George McClellan was in command of the Union army and managed to stop Lee’s advance, but President Lincoln said he had ‘the slows,’ so Ambrose Burnside replaced him. He tried to attack Richmond a couple of months later, and the Rebels defeated him at Fredericksburg.”<
br />
“What happened to Ulysses Grant?”
“He was busy fighting out west in Tennessee at the time.” Kate was confused. “Exactly how many generals were in command of the Union army?”
“Well, depends upon how you look at it.” Ellen merged into traffic. “The Union army had a few different commanders in different places before the president appointed Ulysses Grant general-in-chief. And that didn’t happen until about a year before the end of the war. There were mistakes made. Most military historians think McClellan was inept in the field, for example, but concede his administrative strengths. I find all the personalities, from politicians to generals, an interesting subject for study. Some were brilliant, some simply in the right place at the right time. Oh, to be able to time travel and ask them all questions.” Watching Ellen speak, Kate couldn’t help but be drawn in by her enthusiasm. When Ellen was discussing history, her face lit up with interest. She was passionate about her job, which Kate always respected in someone, no matter what their field. That was how she had been in television.
Recalling her unemployment and the reasons behind it, she folded her arms across her chest and slumped in her seat. She thought about the tourists who had gawked at her, fixated on her scar, and she gazed out the window at the passing countryside, not really seeing it.
Ellen noted Kate’s silence and body language and considered asking her what was on her mind, but she had enough on her plate. She turned on the radio. Traffic jams on I-95 were a regular occurrence and she wasn’t in the mood to get held up in a line of cars for hours. Despite her attempts to keep her mind on her research project, she was still plagued by Sandra’s behavior. Though it was true that they’d never agreed to be monogamous, they hadn’t said anything about not being monogamous, either. It hurt that Sandra had chosen someone else over her—especially since they’d already agreed to attend her parents’ party. Something, or rather someone, had obviously been more appealing. She hadn’t heard from Sandra in three weeks. Sandra had dumped her.