by KI Thompson
“The same thing you’re doing about this Kate person,” Joan tossed back.
Ellen blinked, confused. “What?”
“Nothing. I’m going to let him go. What else can I do?” The full impact of Joan’s words hit Ellen like a roundhouse punch. For Joan, letting go of Robert was letting go of someone who no longer loved her, perhaps never did. And despite Joan’s attempts to remain fit and attractive, he obviously didn’t care how she looked. Ellen loved Kate. For the first time in her life she was deeply, hopelessly, passionately in love. And Kate didn’t mind Ellen’s weight, had said so and reinforced it with her actions.
She wasn’t sure if Kate was in love with her, but that was it, wasn’t it? She didn’t know. Her mother was right. She needed to let Kate know how she felt, and then she needed to find out exactly how Kate felt. After that, well, she’d cross that bridge when she got to it. And even if it meant the London Bridge, well, she’d cross that, too.
“Thanks, Joan.”
“For what?”
“You just helped me more than you’ll ever know. Look, I’m sorry about Robert, but you know what? He’s an asshole. You deserve better, and I know a guy in our department at GU who would love to take you to dinner sometime. Just say the word. But right now, I’ve got to run.”
She left the guest room and found her purse where she had left it on a table in the entryway. Digging around for her keys, she nearly ran to the front door.
“What about lunch?” her mother called after her.
“Another time. Tell Daddy I love him and I’m glad he’s home. I’ll drop by tomorrow.”
“But where are you going, Ellen?”
Ellen stopped, her hand on the doorknob. “I’m going to tell Kate I love her.”
“And if she loves you, too?”
“If she loves me, too, then that’s a lot, that’s everything. If she does, then I’ll be happy, happier than I’ve ever been.”
“And what about London?”
Ellen paused, not sure how to solve that dilemma. “Somehow it’ll work out. I don’t know how, but it’s got to. Maybe not right away, but someday. And that’s all I can hope for. A someday.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Ellen stood outside Kate’s door, her heart pounding rapidly as though she’d just run a marathon. On the drive over she had thought about what she was going to say and how she would say it. She had edited herself and revised and memorized the long speech and felt pretty good about it. Now that she was here, though, her nerve left her, and she hesitated. If she really wanted Kate, now was the time. Physically gathering herself, she knocked.
“Ellen?” Kate asked after opening the door.
“I love you,” Ellen blurted, and felt the blood rush to her face.
For several heartbeats Kate stared, then opened her arms. Ellen fell into them and felt so many emotions—but primarily relief that she had made the right choice.
“I love you, and I want you to come with me to London.” Kate was shocked by the realization and for saying it out loud. Thinking it was one thing, but asking Ellen to give up her life here astonished her. She couldn’t possibly see how Ellen could quit her job and her family for the unknown in London. How could an American history professor find a career in Europe? And what about her family?
“Oh, Kate, if I could, I’d go with you tomorrow.” Kate’s throat closed and for a moment she felt numb. Of course Ellen couldn’t alter her life on a whim and for someone who was off in another country pursuing her own career. What was she thinking?
Ellen felt Kate stiffen in her arms and begin to pull away.
“What I mean is, I can’t go with you right away. For one thing, my father isn’t well, and while he’ll make a full recovery, I need to be with my family now. On top of that, I still have my job at Georgetown and a commitment to my publisher.” Ellen’s mind raced with all the complications Kate’s departure and her own responsibilities presented. She couldn’t see her way clear without resigning her position, and she had lived her entire life within hours of her parents. Could she give up a career at a university she loved and a family who had always been there? What would she do in London? She supposed she could teach, but how would she find a position? And how well did she really know Kate? It had been only months since they’d gotten to know one another and fall in love.
Was that enough to build a lifetime on?
“I’m sorry. I know I’m asking a lot of you.” Kate drew her close once again. “But I love you and don’t want to lose you. I haven’t thought it all out and we’d have obstacles, but I want you with me, always. I’ve spent hours today thinking about you, and for the first time I want to spend the rest of my life with someone.” Ellen glanced up into Kate’s eyes and saw the raw sincerity of her emotions laid bare. It was almost painful to look at her and she willed the hurt away. No one had ever given her so much, had wanted her so much, and her heart was full with a need so great she didn’t know what to do with it.
“I suppose I could finish my research here and write the book in London,” she thought out loud. “I have a colleague in the American Studies department at King’s College who might be able to give me some advice on teaching positions in London…” She could see the hope in Kate’s eyes. She didn’t want Kate to think it would be easy or even possible for her to find something quickly or in an area even remotely comparable to Georgetown, but for now, seeing Kate’s pleasure was all that mattered. Ellen kissed her. She only meant to convey her love and a promise, but kissing Kate had never been that simple. Her hands wandered down Kate’s back to her hips, and with the slightest pressure, Kate responded by thrusting into her. She wasn’t sure if she or Kate had moaned, but it didn’t matter; she was already lost in her own body’s reaction.
They fumbled their way to the bedroom and quickly undressed.
The feel of skin upon skin made Ellen ache and she felt the wetness between them. She had never abandoned herself to someone so completely. The voice in her head that always accompanied a romantic encounter with someone, cautioning her about how she looked, was completely silent. This was Kate, whom she trusted with her body as well as her heart, and she let herself go. Lying on top of Kate, she arched up and pushed into her center. The contact was exquisite and she rocked forward, needing to feel more, wishing she could be inside Kate when she came. When Kate’s hands reached for her breasts and stroked her nipples, she shuddered. She climaxed with an intensity so complete, she collapsed into Kate’s arms, drawing it out for as long as possible.
Kate held Ellen, stroking her back and kissing her temple, trying to calm her racing heart. She was surprised to feel her eyes fill with tears, and she blinked them away. She couldn’t imagine not having Ellen with her, not having this passion in her life again. Was it possible that Ellen would change her life for her? Would she be happy in London with just Kate and a career that might not fulfill her? Should Kate turn the job down and try to find something in Washington? Maybe Channel 2 would be interested in her.
“I love you,” Ellen murmured.
A smile spread across Kate’s face. “I love you, too.” She thought about her flight tomorrow and at this moment didn’t relish the thought. But she also knew that she couldn’t delay the trip again.
She needed to follow the entire thing through to the end—whatever that might be.
Kate stifled a yawn and her eyes drooped heavily. Ellen’s deep breathing told Kate she was asleep and she held her tightly. She was so completely happy at that moment that she sighed contentedly. As she drifted off, a thought came to her that brought her back awake with a start. It was the best idea she’d had in a long time.
❖
Kate sat at the window seat sipping a glass of orange juice and leafing through the British Airways magazine. She’d brought a book to read, but knew she would never open it. The image of Ellen in bed that morning forced its way into her memory and she smiled inwardly. God, had it just been that morning that she had awakened next to her? It seemed
like ages ago, yet the feel, smell, and taste of her lingered on her skin.
“Ma’am.” Kate motioned to the flight attendant. “Another orange juice, please.”
“I’d like to order some champagne and turn that into a mimosa. What do you think?”
Kate pulled Ellen in and kissed her, at first tentatively, then so hard she was certain her lips would be bruised. She stared into Ellen’s eyes, afraid that if she blinked Ellen would disappear. “I think it’s a great idea. Whatever you want.” Ellen was still in shock that in the middle of the night, Kate had somehow managed to book an extra seat on the flight, pack her bags, arrange for Kelly to take care of Beau, and still get them to the airport on time. She knew Kate was a determined woman, but she didn’t realize how much. She thought she was going to like this character trait very much.
“Whatever I want? I like the sound of that.” She took Kate’s hand and stroked it.
“I hope you don’t mind that I did this without asking you. I know you still have a lot of work to do on your book, but I thought a couple of weeks in London would give you a chance to see if you even like the city. And secretly, I was hoping you might stop in and see your colleague at King’s College. It wouldn’t hurt to find out about the possibilities of teaching there. I only hope your family isn’t pissed at me.”
“I love that you did this. It means everything to me. Mom was fine with it, and she knows how important this is to me. My father is doing very well, but I can be back on a flight and home if I have to. I need to do this, need to be with you so I can make a decision. We won’t know what our lives can be unless we start somewhere.”
“If you’re not happy in London, we can think of something else,” Kate insisted. “I can look for a job in Washington. Something will turn up eventually. I could—”
“Shh.” Ellen pressed her fingers to Kate’s lips. “One step at a time. Let’s just wait and see.”
Ellen leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. Still holding Kate’s hand, she felt their unbreakable connection. She had visited London many times and loved the city, but she couldn’t help but think about her home, her career, her family and friends. Could I give it all up for this woman?
Kate lifted Ellen’s hand to her lips, kissed it, then rested her cheek against it.
Yes, I could.
About the Author
KI Thompson began her writing career when her first short story, “The Blue Line,” appeared in the Lambda Literary Award–winning anthology Erotic Interludes 2: Stolen Moments from Bold Strokes Books. She has published numerous short stories, as well as a novel, House of Clouds, a romantic saga set during the Civil War. Her forthcoming book, Cooper’s Deale, will be released in September 2008.
Kim resides in the Washington, DC area with her partner and two very spoiled but much-loved cats. Her interests include American history, Southwest Native American art and culture, and the culinary arts. She can be reached at www.kithompson.com.
Books Available From Bold Strokes Books
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