by Suzy Shearer
"What was that thought?"
Avril rolled her eyes. Hell, can't I have any secrets?
"I'm waiting."
It came out in a rush. "Why do you want me? You're powerful, you're attractive."
Steven sounded angry, his eyes narrowing.
"You are special.” He smiled then. “I look at you and I see a confident woman. A woman who is very beautiful and very alluring. A woman who excites me. A woman who doesn't realize how lovely she is."
Avril was shocked. Searching his face, it appeared very much as if he was telling her the truth.
"I…" She really didn't know what to say to him. “I am confident. I’m proud of who I am, but I’d really only consider myself pretty.”
“Not just pretty, you’re breathtakingly beautiful.”
“Oh.”
"There is something I've been wanting to do since I first saw you."
Nervously, she asked, "What?"
"This."
He took her face between his hands and captured her mouth with his. This wasn't some nice kiss. This was a man stamping his ownership, and she melted against him. His lips, his tongue, his mouth, took charge, and she was helpless. She gave him everything he wanted, and he took it all and more. It felt as if he'd stripped her bare with that one kiss as he claimed her, and she welcomed it. When his lips finally released hers, she was puffing as if she'd ran a marathon.
"I'm going to enjoy kissing you, Kitten, every single chance I get."
His body was against hers. One of her legs lay across him, and it was impossible to ignore his hard erection. That, more than anything he'd said, convinced Avril that he really did want her.
"Tell me what you were thinking when I said I wanted you."
Seems he didn't miss much. It confirmed her first impression of him. If she allowed this relationship to develop, she'd be spending her time opening up to him. Telling him what she felt and that would really take her out of her comfort zone, perhaps even more than the pain.
"I'm waiting. I expect total honesty between us, Avril. Always."
She licked her lips.
"Like I said I really didn't think a man like you would be attracted to someone like me."
"Why on earth not? Look at you! I keep telling you you're beautiful. You have the kind of body I worship. Why wouldn't I want you?"
She shrugged. "I actually thought you'd like the skinny model type, the younger woman."
He gave a shiver.
"No, thank you! I like a woman who can take my punishment, a woman with meat on her bones who won't buckle when she's underneath me, when I'm fucking her hard, when I'm whipping her. You are the gorgeous woman I want."
He lifted her hand and kissed it.
"Want more proof?"
Before she could reply, he pushed her hand down the front of his open pants. His hard cock almost leaped gleefully into her palm.
"That's what you do to me. I've been half-erect ever since I saw you when I walked into the conference room."
God, he really does want me! At least sexually.
"I came home on Saturday night and jerked off thinking about you, Kitten."
Feeling daring, Avril wrapped her hand around that cock, and Steven gave a little moan.
"Be careful, I'm ready to burst."
The woman she was took over—the confident, no-nonsense one. The one who took control in the boardroom. She unzipped his pants fully and lowered her head. His cock seemed huge, but she licked the top, the pre-cum salty in her mouth. Steven threw back the covers and moved so she could reach him better. He slid his trousers down, and she cupped his balls.
"Maybe I want to fuck you."
Avril felt rather bold as she stared up at him and said, "Maybe you can do it later."
With that she took him into her mouth and began to suck. Avril had no idea what had come over her. She'd never voluntarily given a man oral sex, but she wanted this, wanted it with all her heart. He fisted a hand in her hair, and then she felt him pull out the pins, letting it fall down.
"Suck it hard, Kitten."
He lifted his hips in time with her sucking, and she used her tongue, licking and wrapping his cock. With her other hand she massaged each ball. He began thrusting harder, deeper until she gagged, but he wouldn't let her up.
"You started this, Kitten," he gasped, as his thrusts increased.
Accepting the truth of his words, she tried to breathe through her nose. All at once he pushed her head down hard onto his cock and she had trouble getting any air. He groaned loudly as she felt him spurt his load down her throat. She had no choice but to swallow it all or else choke. When she sat up, taking a huge gasp of air, she was surprised. He looked rather formidable. He seemed a little angry, and she quaked.
"You know next time I won't let you get away with that."
"But I—I don't understand."
"I'm the one in charge. Much as I enjoyed that, in future you will wait until you're told."
"Oh. Oh, I … yes."
"Yes?"
"Yes, Sir."
"Tell me why you did it?"
"I … I didn't think it was fair. You'd not come, Sir, and you were aroused."
He laughed, a hearty, strong laugh that shook him.
"Oh my, little Kitten. As a sadist, I often don't." He held out his arms, and she let him engulf her. "Come. Kiss me."
Shyly, she pressed her lips against his. His hands held her tighter, one against the back of her head. She wanted to explore his mouth, his tongue, but naturally, he took charge again, and she was left breathless once more. He lifted a handful of her hair that now fell across her breasts.
"In future when we play you will wear this in a braid. That way I can control you better, Miss."
"Yes, yes, Sir."
They lay together for a while. Avril felt different. She couldn't explain it even if she tried. Maybe it was her acceptance of who she was, or maybe it was Steven. Whatever it was, she intended to stay this way for the rest of her life. She thought about Steven. He scared her a lot of the time, yet she trusted him implicitly. She thought he was a man of honor, a man who wouldn't accept second best. A man who would push her, control her, but always put her safety first. She wondered what this relationship would mean.
"You're thinking again."
She grinned up at him. "Sorry. Can't help it."
He sat her up and searched her face. Those gray eyes of his seemed to reach all the hidden corners inside her.
"You do understand this isn't merely a sexual thing, Avril. I don't have a partner. I'm not in a relationship. I honestly want you. It isn't only a sadist and his masochist. I want the whole enchilada. I intend to discover everything about you. I intend to take you out. I intend to become an intrinsic part of your life both inside and outside the bedroom."
"You do?"
"Of course."
"Wow."
He grinned at her, kind of a shark-like “I'm going to eat you up” grin, and she shivered. Being with this man would test her, would push her far beyond anything she could imagine. She wouldn't be the same person she was, but actually she wasn't now. She wasn't the same woman who’d walked nervously into the BDSM club a few days back.
"Talk to me, Kitten."
"I'm not who I was."
"No, you're not. Instead you're the person you should be, the one who is honest with herself finally."
He was right. She'd been skirting around this for years, pushing it deep down, trying to hide what she wanted.
"Kitten, this is very important. If you ever feel like you did this morning you have to promise me you will ring immediately. I don't want to find you that down ever again."
"I honestly didn't understand." She thought back to how she'd felt when she woke this morning, remembering how she’d sobbed in the shower. "I honestly didn't connect it to last night or to Saturday night. I thought about ringing you, but then figured I'd be fine. I…" She took a deep breath and rushed on. "I didn't want to bother you."
&nbs
p; "I understand. I know you didn't, but now you do know and in future if it ever happens you know what to do. Promise?"
"I promise.” She was worried as she asked, “Will that always happen? Will it happen tomorrow or the next day?"
"I hope not. Honestly, I think it was because it was your very first time. Both nights were intense, and it hit you mentally, emotionally, and physically. As well you were trying to deny who you are."
"That's true, I did. I was…" How to explain it? "I feel different today than I did after the other two nights. It's hard to explain."
"Try."
Damn, this openness is harder than facing who I am. Avril took a big breath and sorted through her feelings, her thoughts.
"Well, I felt okay after last Saturday. I was relaxed, and everything was good. Last night was good, too, but on the way home I felt kind of sad, yet today I’m clear-headed. I know I’m very satisfied and very happy, much more than then. When you were caring for me on Saturday and Sunday, it was great, but this time it felt, um, more meaningful, I guess would be the best way to describe it."
"You were probably still nervous at the club. I imagine it would have been difficult for you to come, difficult to hand over control to someone. Especially someone you didn't know, a stranger. You were probably not willing to completely relax, and that only increased the risk of sub-drop."
"Yes, that's it, but I have to admit I'm still nervous."
"Of course you are, this is very new. Then add in the fact you didn't trust me, still don't, but the trust will come the more we learn about each other."
"This is all very new."
"I think I should take you out and feed you. I'll go and find your clothing. The bathroom is through that doorway."
Avril waited until he'd left the room then got to her feet, dropping the blanket back onto the bed. It was all very surreal, and she felt as if she were in a dream. Opening the bathroom door, she got a surprise. It was enormous, a huge shower big enough for at least four people with a tiled bench sort of seat attached to one wall. There was also a lovely, big, free-standing tub. She looked at her face in the mirror above the twin hand basins.
In shock, Avril saw her eyes, her cheeks were reddened. Her face was blotchy, and she had those crazy panda eyes from her mascara running because of her crying. How on earth could Steven have looked at her with that much desire when her face was such a terrible mess from being that upset? She washed her face then looked down her body and gasped. There was a line of bruises starting to show across her breasts. She was running a hand across them when Steven came into the room through a different door. He put her clothes on the bench and had a tube of cream in his hand. She felt embarrassed but understood that he'd already seen her naked and at her worst.
"I brought your bag up, too. Oh, and this is arnica. It soothes. Good for swelling and bruises, keep it. I'll let you rub it on although I've already put some on the marks."
With that he walked out, leaving her a little stunned. Still she rubbed the cream on before dressing. Her hair was a mess as she ran a brush through it. Who knew what had happened to the pins, so she'd have to leave it out. She only had lipstick in her bag, and judging by the way Steven had kissed her, she thought it wasn't a good idea to put any on.
Picking up her bag, she opened the door Steven had come through, discovering it led back into his “play area”. Steven was sitting on a couch, his long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles in front of him and his hands behind his head. He smiled when she entered and stood.
"I like your hair like this. Remember to braid it when we play."
"Um, okay, er, Sir."
"Remember you also don't need to call me ‘Sir’ outside of playing, unless you really want to." He winked. "Steven will do or Steve."
"Thank you, Steven. I keep getting mixed up."
Sitting back down, he patted his lap.
"Come here."
Hesitantly, she approached and sat primly on his knee. He pulled her close then kissed her again, and she was thankful she'd hadn't bothered with the lipstick.
"I know how much I'm going to enjoy kissing you, Kitten. Feel okay?"
"Yes."
Setting her on her feet, he stood once more then took her hand. While leading her downstairs, Avril had a chance to quickly glance around. The house was enormous, light and airy, but it seemed huge. She came to the understanding this man was very wealthy.
"Is there any food you don't eat?"
"I'm not that keen on Chinese."
"Then in that case, we'll eat Italian tonight."
He took her through to a garage and inside was a big dark SUV and a huge, powerful-looking motor bike. He settled her in the SUV and got behind the wheel. Driving out, Avril became aware she hadn't paid any attention when they drove into the property as they rode down a long, pebbled driveway and out through a set of gates that opened automatically when they approached.
Chapter Nine
Steven drove expertly, and Avril sat back in the comfy leather seat, trying to relax. She was surprised to see it was close to seven-thirty by the dashboard clock as Steven pointed out various places as they drove, and it wasn't long before she began to enjoy his company and feel more at ease.
They swung into a car park, then parked, and he helped her out of the car and held her hand as they walked along the street and into a small Italian restaurant. Steven held out her seat and made sure she was comfortable before he, too, sat. A waiter brought over menus, and Avril studied hers with slightly shaking hands. It had been so long since she'd been on a date, and this wasn't simply a date. This was the beginning of her new life as a masochist as well there was a very real possibility this was the start of a relationship.
Steven looked over the top of his menu.
"What would you like?"
"Um, not sure, there's too much to choose from."
"I don't suppose you'd let me pick something for you?" he asked hopefully.
Avril studied him across the table, and he gave a sheepish grin. "I know it sounds silly, but I'd like to be able to care for you and because I'm a bossy bastard that means taking as many worries and tasks off you as I can."
A laugh tried to bubble its way to the surface as she watched him. "I don't know that choosing a meal is that much of a task, Steven."
"Well no, but you know what I mean."
"So, you'd really like to be able to choose my meals?” Innocently, she asked, "Am I allowed to cut them up or would you do that, too?"
Steven let out a roar of laughter.
"Touché." He reached across the table and touched the back of her hand. "I'm sorry."
She grinned back at him, "Actually I don't mind as long as you make sure it's something I like."
It was as if she'd given him a present as he turned on a huge smile. Avril got the idea if she allowed this relationship to develop she’d have to get used to his bossy ways. To tell the truth, she actually like the idea of him looking after her. He went back to studying the menu then spoke.
"Would you like crab linguine? I've had it here before, and it's delicious."
"Sounds lovely."
He put the menu down then gave their orders when the waiter returned.
"Do you like a white wine?"
"Yes."
“Sweet, dry?”
“Either, I enjoy both.”
He ordered a bottle of Pinot Grigio and settled back in his seat, a rather self-satisfied smirk on his face.
"So, tell me about your work. Seems like you have a rather good job if the corner office is anything to go by."
Avril found herself telling him all about her job, working her way up through the ranks, and trying to make it in a man's world.
"Ah, so that's where the power suits and the 'hands off' look come in."
"Yep." She gave a rueful grin. "Can't afford to let them see me as anything but a cold-hearted bitch."
He laughed.
"And now we both know that you are anything but."
"Steven."
He cocked his head as he replied. "Yes?"
"I don't know about this submissive stuff. I don't think I am."
"I think you are. I think you work that hard at being in command of things all the time. When we're in the bedroom you can simply hand over control to me. Like I said, I no longer consider myself a Dom, but at the same time I do need your submission. You won't have to worry, won't have to think. All you'll have to do is do as I say and enjoy."
"Oh. I guess when you put it like that."
"Kitten, I intend to give you all you're afraid to ask for. I intend to make you unbelievably happy."
Avril didn't know how to answer that. She could see he honestly believed all he said, and part of her was afraid, very afraid. She was falling deep into his spell, and if this didn't work Avril knew she'd be in for heartache. Fortunately, their meals were placed in front of them and the talk turned to foods.
It was close to ten forty-five when Steven dropped her back at her home. He walked her to the front door, took the keys from her and then stared down into her face after unlocking the door. He reached out and gently ran a finger down her cheek, and Avril was surprised at how much it affected her.
"I'm going to miss you. I can't begin to tell you how much I loved meeting you, playing. I'm out of the office the rest of the week, but I'll try and keep in touch. In saying that, I’ll definitely contact you over the next few days to make sure you’re okay and make sure you ring if you think you’re slipping into sub-drop.”
That scared Avril. “You don’t really think that’s going to happen again, do you?”
“Honestly? No, I don’t, but you must always be aware of the possibility and never ignore it like you did.”
She shivered. “No way I’ll pretend I’m okay. I don’t want to go through that again.”
“You will come back to the club, won't you?"
"I … I think I will."
"I really hope you do, but I won't pressure you. It has to be your decision."
"Yes, it does. Thank you for accepting that."
He leaned down and captured her lips. Avril clung to him as he took command and sent her soaring. Hell, the man can kiss!