“No, I’ll be okay. It’s time to put my game face on.” And try not to crap my pants, I add in my head silently. As much as I have everyone else believing that I can do this, I am not so sure. I really feel like at any moment I will get sick and ask the Council to find a replacement. I understand now why it was so easy for Malik and Dex to leave; that’s exactly what I want to do right now. But I will not give in to the weakness. I think of my parents, Wes and Molly and how much they believe in me. I can draw on their belief enough to get me through this meeting; I have to.
Just as we thought, standing in front of the Ministry building is Annabelle. She looks so much older and ten times more exhausted now than the last time I saw her. For a brief moment, I am able to put myself in her shoes and imagine how much stress and pressure she must be under. But I can’t let that sway me now. She made her choices just as I am making mine.
We walk up to her and stop. She nods at Masters who looks down at me to make sure that I am alright. I nod back and he turns to leave. I am all on my own now.
“Good morning Roz, I'm so glad you're back!"
"Annabelle.”
Is my only greeting, and she looks taken back by my coldness. I don’t think she was expecting a warm welcome, but clearly she isn’t prepared for my anger either.
“Listen, Roz—” I cut her off. I don’t want to hear anything she has to say. I have considered her a friend so her betrayal has cut deeper than the other members.
“Save it for the Council, Annabelle.” She bows her head, looking defeated, and we make our way to the Council room. I feel no awe at the beauty around me anymore; I don’t feel the welcoming feeling of home as I had on my last trip. I can only feel the lies and half-truths swarming around me.
We pass Aspen’s desk and she looks up at us with hope in her eyes. She can tell from Annabelle’s posture and my coldness that it isn’t time to share pleasantries. She gives me a shy smile which I return. When we reach the Council room, Annabelle scans herself in and I follow behind her. As we approach the table, I can see her give a very brief shake of her head to Samuel. Interesting, so she was sent to butter me up, was she? From the look on Samuel’s face, I can tell it isn’t the response they are hoping for. Well, that’s just too bad.
Samuel starts the meeting as soon as I have taken my seat. “Good Morning, Roz. It’s nice to see you are back.”
“Is it? You must have missed having your puppet gone, no strings to pull and all that.”
“Now listen here, missy—” Peter begins but Samuel stops him.
“No, Peter, hear her out. She’s angry, and she has every right to be.”
“Angry? I get angry when Wes leaves the toilet seat up, or when I'm out of chocolate! I’m beyond angry!” I jump to my feet. “Tell me right now how I can go forward and believe anything that comes out of any of your mouths?”
I slowly work my way through the entire room, making eye contact with everyone. It is important that I connect with each of them on a personal level.
“I sat here months ago, telling you that nothing meant more to me than honesty. I vowed to you that I would give this country everything I had as long as you were upfront and honest with me. I didn’t feel like that was asking too much and I still don’t. Each of you sat there and promised me you were telling me everything I needed to know, but what a crock! I had to find out from an old map, that you are keeping people from me. The people I vowed to protect, for God’s sake! You put me, Masters and those people in a very bad position. Even after I found out that you lied to me, I still gave you a chance to tell me the truth.” I am looking directly at Annabelle right now, and at least she has the decency to look ashamed.
“Did you do the right thing and come clean to me then? No! You hid like cowards and made me find out the hard way. So do I have the right to be angry? Yes I do, and I am angry, but I am willing to do the one thing that none of you had the decency to do for me and that’s to give you the benefit of the doubt and come to you with my concerns instead of hiding them.” I sit down now but refuse to show weakness, as I maintain eye contact with everyone.
Amira looks up at me and is the first from the group to speak. “You are right. We shouldn’t have kept it from you, but we were doing what we felt was the best for our country at the time and we won’t be sorry for doing what we thought was best. What we are sorry for is taking the coward’s way out, and you are right in pointing that out. We didn’t know how to deal with you when you found out about it like you did and we panicked and for that, we are very sorry.”
I nod. In any case, she has the guts to admit it.
“And now? Are you ready to tell me now? Because I can honestly say I’m just as confused a month later, if not more so. I have spent a month with these people, and for the life of me I can’t imagine how anyone can see them as a threat and strip them of their patriotic rights.”
Upon hearing this, the Council as a whole looks…relieved? That doesn’t make sense, unless Malik is right and they aren’t keeping me from the outcasts but from Dex, that they don’t want me learning how to overthrow them. Well they are going to have a huge wake-up call then.
Peter speaks up now. “Rosaline, everything we do is for the good of the people, but is it always right? No. We are humans, we aren’t perfect, but we look for the best way and take it. Keeping the OC from you was a judgment call, Roz, one that we made. Was it the right thing to do? We thought so at the time, yes. You are a compassionate person and feel deeply for people; this is a great trait to have, but it can also be a bad trait when you have to be level-headed. These people aren’t just cast aside as you are saying. They wanted to leave, Roz. They didn’t like living under the Ministry’s rules and regulations so they chose to leave.”
“Then why are they banned from coming back if it is their choice? Why not open the gates and leave the decision up to them instead of treating them like caged animals?” Peter doesn’t have a reply to that; nobody does. How can they when they haven’t even met these people? I'm disgusted.
“You don’t know any of them. Maybe you know a few names but have you seen them recently? Have you been out there and watched how they work, live, interact and help each other? These people are the most peaceful, loving and accepting people I’ve ever met. If you chose to keep them from me because you thought I would side with them, then well done. You are right. There is no reason for these people to be locked up.”
Seamus is about to speak but I stare him down, “Before you try to tell me it is to prevent another uprising, you have to go out there and watch them, Seamus. Live like they live, work side by side with them. Once you do that and you still think they are capable of an uprising, then you come tell me and I’ll accept that. But right now, you can’t just tell me that because you have no clue."
The room becomes dead silent. Nobody knows what to say. They know I am right since they really haven’t been out there. They are taking Vaughn’s word and have gone with it. This leads me to my final point:
“I understand why you did what you did. I may not like it, but I get it. I can’t imagine the type of pressure you are under, the types of laws you need to keep in order to uphold the demands of the founders. But if you would just do me this favor and think on this. Don’t do anything now, but think on it. For whatever reason, Vaughn thought that these people were going to be a threat in the future. I still have no clue why that was, but I want you to think about this: you have locked up over a hundred people based on Vaughn’s thinking that they are a threat, yet Vaughn’s judgment is what has gotten us in the predicament that we are in now. You brought me in because you trusted me and my judgment. You liked that I think with my head as well as my heart. I am coming to you now as the President saying that this is not right. Our country was founded on unity, and you want us to stay divided based on what one man told you. Is that right? He is one man that you’ve already known to lack in judgment. I’m telling you, these people need the right to be free, to make their own life, and if thes
e good people who I spent a month with and not once saw anything but love, acceptance and unity, if these people are saying that there is a problem with our system, then maybe we should stop trying to lock them up and actually listen to what they have to say. If I could model our country after anyone, it would be after those people you so sweetly call outcasts." I take a deep breath from my nonstop rant and try to compose myself before I begin again.
"And if that isn’t enough for you to rethink your actions, maybe I should be cast out as well because from what I have seen, their beliefs aren’t any different from mine. The true question is, do you want a united America, or do you want a controlled America? If it’s the first, I will be more than happy to stay and help to build that with you. If it’s the second, then I guess you have chosen the wrong President.”
Before I lose my nerve, I stand strong and look everyone in the eyes. Annabelle is openly crying and it makes me feel horrible. I know these aren’t bad people, but the things I said had to be said. Samuel looks at me like he’s been punched in the stomach.
“I’m very behind on my tours, and unless you are telling me you want me out, I need to see to my presidential duties. I have planned on touring the homes of the dying and the convalescent in all of the Zones. I imagine it can take anywhere from two weeks to a month. That should give you plenty of time to think about what I said. I want us to be a team, to work together, but I can’t do that if you don’t share the same beliefs and wants for this country as I do. Think about it, but I plan to make a motion for change when I get back.”
I get ready to walk out but I can't leave Annabelle crying like she is. I have already taken my anger out on her, and that’s enough. So I come back and give her a hug. I can tell that I have surprised her, and from the looks of it, the rest of the Council as well, but she hugs me back with force. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. We didn’t know.”
“Hush, it is okay, Annabelle. I know. I’m not mad anymore. I’m just hurt for those people. Think about what I have said just now and I’ll be back.” She nods and I give one last look to Samuel who looks back at me with pain in his eyes. He bows and says, “We will see you when you get back, Miss President.”
“Thank you, Samuel.”
Then I walk out. I am shaking so bad by the time I reach the P.V.E. Once I am in, I collapse to the floor. I have done it. I can’t believe I have done it. And surprisingly, they've taken it so much better than I have expected. I hate that I upset Annabelle and Samuel so bad; even Amira and Patience look hurt. Peter is resisting as I knew he would, but he hasn’t even put up as much as a fight. I really hope they will side with me, but I have to be prepared if they do not. Just in case, I have to find Ed and that means I need to go on the tour as soon as I can. I hate that I’m leaving my staff in the lurch all over again, but it must be done.
As I make my way to my office, I try to narrow down who is most likely to side with me. Just from their reactions today, I’m pretty sure I already have Annabelle, Samuel and Amira. I think I can get Patience and Lucas too. However, Clarisse is a wild card and Seamus and Peter do not look happy.
But before I deal with my staff, I need to see my friends first. Going off for a month without them is much too long! I messaged Wes and Molly earlier and told them to drop everything and come to my office. When I reach my floor and take a calming breath, I run to Judy’s office quickly to say hi and tell her that I will be back to check in. She looks genuinely happy to see me and she gives me a radiant smile that I’m going to hate to break it to her that I’m leaving again. By the time I reach my office, both Molly and Wes are waiting for me.
I don’t even make it through the door before Molly flings herself at me. “Roz, I’m so glad you are back. I missed you so much. Don’t ever leave me that long alone with Wes again; I about lost my mind!”
Wes just glares at Molly, takes one look at me and heads to the fridge to bring me back chocolate milk and a candy bar. She can say what she wants, but he is my best friend for a reason, and that is the reason. I don’t have to say what I want because he already knows it. “Bless you, Wesley Sanders,” I thank him as I chug the whole bottle of milk and tear into the candy bar. They exchange a look that can only mean interventions. Molly goes back to the fridge and gets milk for me and water for her and Wes. I open the milk and drink it a little slower than the first. I sit back and take a deep breath.
“Want to talk about it?” Molly asks.
“Can’t,” I say through a mouthful of candy.
“Is it really that bad?” Wes asks me.
I look him straight in the eye. “Worse than bad, Wes.”
He nods, and I hate not being able to confide in my friends. I lay down on my couch.
“I’m going to take five minutes to be a teenager and be bummed. We are going to eat junk food and trash talk, and then I’m going to pull myself together and be the President. Ready? Go!”
“Molly has been shamelessly throwing herself at poor Miles!” Wes says, taking the candy out of my hand and taking a bite at the end that I didn't eat off of. Molly throws a pillow at him.
“Shut your mouth, Wesley Sanders! At least I know how to flirt. Wes has been boring poor Andi to tears every day during lunch. I have caught him talking to her about spores. Spores, for God’s sake! The poor thing, I don’t know why she keeps putting up with such torture!”
I look at Wes to see that he has turned about fifty shades of red. Now this is interesting. I go to my snack drawer and pull out a handful of candy. I give a candy bar to Wes. “Now spill.”
He takes the candy and looks down at it. The fact that he will not look at me proves that this is more than Molly teasing him. She gives me a look that says “I told you so”.
“Wes…”
“So we have had lunch a few times, no big deal. She’s nice and easy to talk to, and she doesn’t make me feel like I’m strange.”
Way to go, Roz! “Wes, we don’t think you are strange, you know that, right? We just tease you because we love you, just like you tease us. I’m glad you found someone to hang out with; I was worried you would be lonely while I was gone. Just promise she won’t take my place, okay?”
He looks up at me with a small smile. “Done. It will never happen.” Just when I start to think he is the best friend ever, Wes adds, “She’s not even half as annoying as you!”
“Wow, thanks for making me feel all warm and fuzzy!”
“If it’s the flu, stay away. I don’t want your germs!” he retorts, and I throw another pillow at him.
I look at Molly. “Molly and Miles… Hmm, cute.”
“Right?!”
“M&M, really, it’s been done.”
“Shut up, WES!” we both yell at him.
“I get nothing but abuse from you ladies. I’m going where I’m wanted.”
“Going to see Andi?”
“Very funny, Roz. It’s so nice to have you back." Wes says, rolling his eyes and walking out of my office.
“I take it that play time is over?” Molly asks, standing up. I give her another hug.
“I really missed you, Molly. I’m sorry I can’t tell you more even if I reeeeeallllly want to.”
She laughs and gives me a once over, “Hmm, it seems like we aren’t the only ones with a little juicy gossip. In the vault, huh?”
“Big time.”
“Dang!”
I laugh at her. I have missed my friends so much. Too bad I am leaving again, but I’ll wait until we are home to tell them. “Off you go, slacker!” I give her a playful shove.
Once Molly is gone, I fix the couch pillows, I make sure my outfit is in place and I open chocolate milk number three, all in less than fifteen minutes; that’s got to be a new record. After I finish my milk, I feel a little better. I’m sure that is due to my two best friends, but the sugar rush can’t hurt as well. I head to Judy’s office.
“Sorry, Judy, I didn’t give you a proper greeting before.” I go around her desk to give her a big hug.
“I’m so glad to have you back, Miss Roz. It was so lonely around here without you.”
Dang! I hate to ruin her good mood but it would be mean not to tell her now. “Judy, I’m so sorry to do this to you. I wish there was another way, but I’m going to be back out on tour the beginning of next week. If I could wait I would, but with all I have to do, it is impossible to put it off.”
Bless her heart, I can see her swallow her disappointment and she gives me a quick smile. “Well of course, it’s your job, isn’t it? And you are doing it fantastically!”
“Thank you, Judy. You are too good for words, and I really appreciate you holding down the fort while I’m away. I didn’t have any clue that I was going to be gone for so long.”
“I expected it to take you a few weeks with the staff to go over everything you learned while you were out.” She said looking confused.
Well drat! How am I going to talk my way out of this one? I have used all of my time and energy on what I was going to say to the Council that I completely overlooked what to tell my own staff. Crap! I need to stay as close to the truth as possible without actually telling them anything.
I go shut her door, and she raises her eyebrows, but she waited for me to speak. “This is a rather delicate matter. I’m sure you understand, Judy. I was on a special tour for the Council that is of utmost importance. As such, it can’t be talked about, not even to Wes and Molly. The only one who even knows where I went is Masters, do you understand?” Luckily, understanding is exactly what I see in her eyes. Thank God!
“Oh yes, Miss Roz, say no more. Your job is very important and as such, sometimes you have things you can’t talk about. No worries here, mum’s the word.” The cute little thing mimes locking her mouth and throwing away the key. How I have missed her so.
“Thank you for understanding. This is the hardest part of the job for me. I hate feeling like I’m sneaking around, even if it is for the greater good.” That is the truth too.
“I completely understand that it is very difficult, Miss Roz, but you are doing such a great job and I’m so proud of you! Just tell me anything you are going to need for this next tour and I will make sure it is ready for you.”
Divided (The United Trilogy Book 2) Page 9