by J. Lea
“I missed you,” he says, and the tips of our fingers touch.
“Is that really you?” I ask, completely shocked by who I see. He nods, a gentle smile playing on his lips. “Where are we?”
“Nowhere and everywhere,” he answers.
Why is he speaking in codes? “What do you mean by that?”
“You have to go back. It’s not your time yet…” His face turns serious.
I wrinkle my forehead, and try to figure out what he’s saying. It isn’t my time for what? “I’m not going anywhere, not without you.”
His fingers trace the line of my jaw, and he smiles. “You’re gorgeous. I wish you could stay with me, but you have to go back to Jake. He needs you, and you need him.”
What? Why is he chasing me away, telling me to be with some other man? I belong with Josh.
“What are you saying? There’s no place I’d rather be than here with you. Why are you telling me to go away?”
“Oh, honey, I wish it was so easy. But you don’t belong here. You have to return to your life, and live it the way you deserve to, even if it’s without me in it.” Josh slides his index finger down my shoulder, and there’s a confused look on my face. Suddenly, memories start resurfacing.
“Go back to Jake, honey.” Josh kisses me on the forehead.
Jake.
I remember everything now. Jake. He must be so worried about me. I need to return to him, even though I don’t want to leave Josh.
“He’s really worried about you.”
“I need to go,” I mumble. Josh nods in confirmation. I see a spark in his eyes, and he smiles as he places a hand on my cheek.
“Go!”
“I love you, Josh.” I’ll never forget my first love. But now, it’s Jake who my love belongs to, and he needs me. As much as I need him. He is my lifeline.
Jake
I feel like I’m going to throw up, I have a giant lump in my throat, and my head is pounding. And all this because nobody wants to tell me what’s going on with Ella. I’m going insane with worry. It’s been ages since we heard her heart stopped. Since then, nobody has left the operating room yet. I hope that’s a good sign. Please, let this be a good sign. Why didn’t I come to Paradise sooner and stop that son of a bitch before he could hurt her? Please, please, they must save her. They have to. I can’t stop pacing up and down the waiting room, stopping every once in a while in front of the door to the operating room. I wish I could be there beside her… I put my hands on the door, and lower my head.
“What’s taking them so long?” I demand, running my hand through my hair. I’m beside myself with worry.
“Mate, calm down a little. That’s not helping her.” Mike puts a hand on my shoulder. I didn’t even notice him coming toward me.
“I can’t calm down. Ella is in there, and there is absolutely nothing I can do to help her. So don’t fucking tell me to calm down.”
Mike raises his hands in defense. “Sorry, mate. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Shaking my head, I wipe my eyes. “No, I’m sorry. It’s just that this wait is killing me. I’m starting to lose my mind.”
He places a hand on my shoulder, accepting my apology. “She’ll be okay, mate.”
Morning light is already shining through the windows, but we’re still in the dark about Ella’s condition.
A few minutes later, the door finally opens again. The doctor, looking even more exhausted with dark circles under his eyes, walks out.
“How is she?” I run to him. Ella’s parents get up, and Sophie is holding her breath, while we’re all waiting to hear the news. A good one, I hope. The doctor sighs, and removes the thin cap on his head. What does this sigh mean? Was it a sigh of relief or…I don’t even want to say it… Ella’s mother and father are standing on each side of me, holding my hands, and I can just feel their hearts beating as fast as mine.
“Ella’s heart stopped for a while, as you’ve heard. We tried to resuscitate her, and the longer she had no pulse, the slimmer her chances were. Fortunately, we managed to bring her back fast. Her pulse is weak, but still—she’s alive, which is the most important thing right now. I don’t think there will be any permanent damage.”
“She’s alive,” I whisper, and a tear slides down my cheek. I still get to hug and kiss her…
“Her injuries are pretty serious, but we managed to stabilize her and close the wound. When she wakes up, she’s probably going to experience a terrible headache, as she received multiple blows to the side of the face. She’s going to be covered in bruises, but it’s not as bad as it looks. These were the minor injuries.”
I clench my hands into fists. If Brian weren’t already dead, I’d take my sweet revenge on him for what he did to Ella. Luckily, he won’t be a bother to us anymore.
“As I said, she is stable, and our only concern is the possibility of infection. But I wouldn’t worry about this right now.” The doctor leaves, and I can finally breathe easier. Ella is alive, and I’ll never let her out of my sight again.
Ella
There’s a quiet conversation somewhere off in the distance. I can’t seem to distinguish the words. My head is pounding; it feels like elephants are playing soccer with it. I can’t open my eyelids; they’re too heavy. I try moving my lips, but I don’t have enough strength. What is happening? Where am I? My lips are dry; I need water. I try to open them again, to say something, but I can only manage a weak ‘ah’ before the pain in my jaw overwhelms me.
“Ella?” a gentle voice says, and I listen more carefully. Did I just hear someone calling my name? “Ella? Sweetie?” Mom? What is she doing here? I try to open my eyes again. I peel them open, but the light is too blinding, causing me to close my eyes shut. “Just rest, sweetie. We’re right here.”
“I’ll go get a doctor,” Dad’s voice says.
Something warm touches my cheek and my hand, a feathery touch. “Ella, babe, we’re here.”
I finally open my eyes fully, blink a few times, and run my tongue over my lips. “Water,” I whisper with a raspy voice. I feel like I haven’t drunk anything in forever, and my mouth tastes like sand.
“Just a sip or two,” Mom says, and brings the cup of water with a straw to my lips. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” She smiles at me, but there are tears in her eyes. She puts the cup on the table again. “You had us so worried.”
“What happened?” I ask, my voice hoarse.
“Shhh, save your strengths. You’ll find out everything at the right time, but right now, you have to rest,” Mom gently strokes my hair. Jake is standing on the other side of the bed, looking worried, his eyes never leaving my face. My hand rests in his, his thumb gently stroking the back of my palm. I try to smile at him, to tell him I’m okay, but all I do is wince when I shift slightly. The doctor enters the room with my dad at his heels. He asks me how I’m feeling, and then he shines a light in my eyes. He checks a few more things—routine check-up, he says—before finally leaving the room with my parents.
“How are you feeling, babe?” Jake finally opens his mouth.
“I’ve been better,” I give him a small smile.
“We thought we lost you. I was worried sick.”
“I had such an unusual dreams. I dreamt about Josh. It felt so real, like he really was there with me. He said I needed to get back to you because you need me.” Jake closes his eyes, pressing his lips together.
“I really do need you. I can’t imagine life without you, babe. I love you.” He leans over to me and gives me a kiss so gentle, my heart skips a beat.
“Jake, what happened? I remember I was working, but then everything is fuzzy.”
“Brian’s what happened. That son of a bitch attacked you,” Jake steps away from the bed, running a hand through his hair. “If I only came there a little sooner. If I came before he hurt you. He attacked me, tried to stab me, but you stopped him, and the next second, you were lying on the floor in a pool of blood, pale as a sheet. Why did you do that, babe? I almos
t lost you.” He’s by my side again, gently stroking my cheek. I raise my hand, and caress his swollen face.
“You’re hurt,” I say.
“It’s nothing. What matters is that you’re okay.”
Memory slowly starts coming back to me, and I remember the salon, Liz coming to visit, Brian… Oh, shit.
“Timmy. Jake, Timmy’s been kidnapped. Brian killed Liz because he found out where Timmy is, and he didn’t need her anymore. Oh my god.” Panic suddenly overwhelms me. I start shaking and tears start gathering in my eyes. That poor little boy.
“Shhh, shhh,” Jake gently strokes my arm. “Timmy’s been found. Thanks to you. I guess the idiots were waiting for Brian’s further instructions, because they were still where you told me they’d be, when the police showed up. They found him, and it’s all because of you. If you didn’t tell me where he was, god knows what would’ve happened to him.”
I sigh in relief. He’s okay. That’s all that matters. “Liz told me where she hid him. I had to promise her I wouldn’t let them take him, that I would protect him.”
“And you did. He’s safe.”
“Is Liz…?”
Jake nods. “She didn’t make it.”
I close my eyes, and bow my head, my hands on my face. “I couldn’t help her, Jake. I was so scared. I let him stab her.”
“Shhh, don’t beat yourself about it. There’s nothing you could’ve done. This was his plan from the beginning. Damn it, I should’ve kept James on to protect you. Then none of this would’ve happened.”
“You can’t know that, Jake. I feel so sorry for Timmy. What happens to him now?”
“He’s a strong little boy, and he’ll be alright. He probably has relatives who could take him in.”
I nod. “Thank God it’s all over.” I look Jake in the eyes. “It is over, right? I mean, Brian…” I’m almost afraid to ask.
Jake smiles at me gently. “He won’t be causing any more problems. He’s burning in hell.”
A big boulder rolls off my chest. I close my eyes, and relish in the news. I put a hand over my cheek. Only now, I notice how swollen my face is, and touching it is even more painful. I trace my lips with a finger, reaching to my eyebrow where I feel a pulsing pain. Brian really did a number on me. I’m sure I look horrible.
“Jake,” I whisper. His gaze finds mine as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, studying my face.
“What is it, babe?” he asks, serious.
“My face. Does it…” I take a deep breath, and break the eye contact, turning to the other side. His finger under my chin makes me look back. I don’t want to, but he doesn’t let me turn away.
“Babe, look at me,” he says determinedly. When I finally raise my gaze, tears are gathering at the corners of my eyes. I don’t want him looking at me so swollen and bruised. I know we’ve been through a lot, and he’s seen me at my worst, but this is different. “You are gorgeous, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and these few scratches don’t change that. I love you.”
Tears start pouring down my face as I pull him to me; I suddenly want to be in his arms. I need to feel him against me, his warmth, his breath, his touch. I’m so happy he’s in my life. When I finally let go of him, he gently kisses my forehead, as if he’s afraid I’m so fragile I might break.
“I love you, Jake.”
Chapter Twelve
Jake
It’s been two weeks since Ella’s been discharged from the hospital. They kept her there for a while. It took time for her wounds to heal enough, so that the doctors could allow her to leave. The first few days since she’s been home were very stressful. Every noise, every bark of the neighbor’s dogs threw her off. It’s slowly been getting better, and now she only leaves the lights on throughout the whole house to feel safer. She checks three times if the doors are locked, the windows are closed and the alarm is on. She still doesn’t feel safe, even though I keep ensuring her nobody can hurt her anymore. I know she believes me, but the traumatic experience Brian put her through left consequences. It’ll take time for her to heal—physically and emotionally—but I’ll be with her every step of the way. We spent Christmas together, and last week, on New Year’s Eve, we had a candle lit dinner, and watched a movie, where I surprised her. I was a nervous wreck the whole time. I know she loves me, but I didn’t know what her reaction would be. I will never forget the look on her face.
“Babe, I have something for you,” I said, after we ate dinner, and snuggled on our couch.
“You do?” she asked, surprised.
“Wait here. I’ll be right back.” My legs were shaking, and the anticipation was killing me, but I was so ready to do this. I have wanted to do this for a long time. As I got back, she was sitting on the couch, smiling gently at me.
“What is it?” Her brow rose, before she unwrapped the gift paper. Her smile lit the room, after she saw what I got her. It was a framed picture of us. She was sitting on my lap, smiling gently, and I was admiring her beauty. Our eyes were locked on each other on that picture. I loved it so much that I had to frame it. “It’s perfect,” she whispered, and kissed me on my cheek. She started to thank me, when a piece of paper fell on her knees from behind the frame. That was when my palms started to sweat. She unfolded it carefully, and gasped at what she saw. Written with big bold letters, it said:
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
She blinked a few times to make sure she read the note correctly, and then clapped her hand over her mouth, clearly moved to tears. Her eyes finally found mine, but my expression was serious. I stood up, turned to her, and then dropped down to one knee. My heart was hammering in my chest the whole time. But I knew this was what I wanted, that this was what I needed and desired. I needed to make her mine.
“Babe,” I started, with a shaky voice, and tears started pooling in her eyes. “You…” I took a deep breath, bow my head and shook it, so I could ask her the most important question in my life. I looked her straight in the eyes, and with the love I feel for the woman in front of me, I started: “You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Only with you, I found out what unconditional love means. You gave me more than I ever imagined I’d have. You mean the world to me, and I’d be honored if you’d be my wife. I can’t promise you we’ll be happy all the time, or that we won’t have any issues, but I’ll try my hardest to make you the happiest woman in the planet. Will you marry me?”
Tears were now glistening on her cheeks. She just nodded at first, but then her smile spread through her whole face. She threw herself into my arms, and then finally spoke:
“Yes! Yes, Jake, I’ll marry you. I love you so much!”
Those were the words I’ve been dying to hear. With my eyes closed, I let out a deep breath that I didn’t even know I was holding at the time. I took a small blue velvet box from my pocket, and opened it. As I took her small hand into mine, I put the ring on her finger, her gaze never leaving mine.
“It’s stunning,” she breathed a moment later. Shining on her finger was a diamond ring, shaped in a sign for infinity.
“Forever mine,” I smiled in delight, before I took her on that couch.
The proposal was nothing special, but it meant the world to me.
We were told Brian had everything prepared to disappear with Timmy. The investigators found fake passports with fake names and their pictures. Brian was planning to take Timmy out of the country, and Liz was a nuisance. His friends, his partners in crime, were arrested, and they sang like canaries to get their sentences reduced. They also found a bunch of photographs of Ella and me, but mostly of her. In all the photos, our heads were cut out. Brian wanted to take revenge for something that wasn’t my fault. He tried to take Ella away from me, so I could feel the same pain as him. When I was with Liz, I had no clue he was in love with her, and Liz never mentioned it to me. I only found out later, when Liz showed up on my doorstep with Timmy. But I doubt that knowledge would’ve changed anything.
My secret is no longer a secret.
But I knew I couldn’t keep it hidden for long, even though I still had a sliver of hope that the skeletons in my closed would remain hidden a little longer. Two days after the attack, rumors that Timmy is my child, and that my former wife cheated on me with Brian, spread like wildfire. Some tabloids even wrote that Brian and I were best friends, and that we had a falling out because of Liz. I thought people were going to despise me when they found out about my secret, and I decided to clear things up with an official statement. If the press is so eager to write and talk about me, then let them write and speak the truth. I agreed to an interview, and told the whole story. I didn’t even do it for myself, but because of Ella. It pleased me when I realized the lies in the tabloids didn’t bother me as much as I thought they would, all that mattered to me was what Ella thought of me. She assured me I didn’t need to do this because of her, that she knows the whole truth and loves me the way I am, but I still wanted to clear things up. Yes, I made mistakes, but I was young and stupid. We learn from our mistakes, and hope people won’t judge us too harshly for them. But if they do, well, what can I say—they can, it’s their business. I cannot turn back time to fix what was done. We all do things we regret sooner or later, and some mistakes are bigger, others smaller. But we learn from them, and that makes us richer and wiser.
I turn to look at Ella. We’re sitting on the sofa, her head in my lap, and I’m running my hand through her silky soft hair, massaging her scalp. The TV is on, but we’re not paying attention to it. A few bruises still mark Ella’s face, but fortunately, they don’t hurt anymore. When she was in the hospital, I could see in her eyes that she was afraid I was going to be disgusted by the bruises and cuts on her face, but for me she was—and still is—the most beautiful woman in the world. Even if she had scars, it wouldn’t bother me the slightest. She is mine, and she means the world to me.