by Elle Harte
“How’d you get these?” Chase said. “There’s no way Carl would let you see them unless you did something to him.”
Nick was suddenly smug. “For a guy who thinks he won the genetic lottery, you’re pretty stupid. You know there’s always a way to threaten someone. Especially when the person can’t exactly report you to the cops because then the cops will know about all the shady shit he does.”
I could sense the danger in Chase. But he still hadn’t taken action. He also hadn’t denied the allegations against him. “It was all planned, Blayne! Every moment was premeditated!”
Nick had to be lying.
Why wasn’t Chase saying anything in his defense?
“And I’m supposed to take your word for it, Nick?”
Chase was quiet and I wanted nothing more than for him to deny this. I wanted him to tell this never happened, that Nick was making it up.
Nick wasn’t done.
He produced an envelope and handed it to me.
“Look inside,” he said.
Nick had come with a purpose and he wasn’t leaving until it was done, so I opened the envelope. There was a folder in there. Inside the folder, there were details, and odd documents, newspaper clippings and other paraphernalia, but there was one thing common about each one of those things: they were all related to me or my friends and even Nick. There was a picture in there of some party, an event we all attended and that was the reason his face had been so familiar when I first saw him.
This gets creepier and creepier.
“What’s all this?”
“That came from his office,” Nick said, gesturing toward Chase. So, Chase had information on me, big deal. I mean, it was a little impolite and not such a great thing to find out this way but still, there was nothing incriminating about it.
“You asshole,” Chase couldn’t hold it in anymore and grabbed Nick’s throat. “You’ve been digging into my private life!”
“Feels awful doesn’t it?” Nick said, trying to pry Chase off himself. “Having someone stick their nose in your life without your consent!”
“I did it to protect her,” Chase countered. Not the answer I was looking for.
“She wasn’t yours to protect.”
Chase let go of his grip on Nick.
“Here’s the kicker Blayne,” Nick continued. Never had I wanted him to stop talking as much as I did then. I didn’t know what I was going to find out next, or how much of this I could take. But Nick clearly wasn’t done.
“Look at the date,” he said. “It’s from before we got separated. When we were still together, Blayne! He did this to us! Don’t you get it? He’s been lying to you all this time!”
Once again, I turned to Chase, hoping he would lie to my face just to have a second spin on all this.
“Blayne,” Chase said. “It’s not what it looks like.”
I was about to think of something to say, but Nick didn’t allow me to carry out the conversation. From out of nowhere Nick sucker-punched Chase and I saw Chase reeling with the impact of the hit.
“Nick!” I yelled but it was too late. There was already a small war going on between them, because Chase Cooper couldn’t stop himself and neither could Nick Callahan. They were attacking each other and then, Chase had Nick pinned down and reached inside his jacket for something and when his hand came out there was a gun in it.
I felt immobilized. The sight of the peace-loving Chase with a lethal weapon, made no sense. He wasn’t carrying the gun like it was his first time, he looked like he had practice. It was shocking to see him capable of killing someone. The gun was pointed at Nick’s face.
I knew he was about to do something awful—
“Chase!” I yelled.
His hand lingered around Nick’s throat for a while and then he let go of him. I was standing there with so many thoughts going through my mind. I didn’t know how to react or respond, I just knew that I needed to be far away from all this. But first, I needed to send Nick a message that he would understand.
“Listen to me Nick,” I said. “What Chase did or what some hooker did, or what anybody else in the universe did is not my problem. No one was forcing you to sleep with her, Nick. You get that, right? This wasn’t the first time you cheated on me. This was the last time for sure, but it wasn’t the first time you’ve hurt me, Nick. Ever since we started living together you’ve been an asshole! How could you not know that? You were treating me like shit, always taking me for granted! I kept telling myself it was going to get better. That you will get better but you kept hitting your worst Nick! You kept trying me! Testing my patience! Why are you so surprised that I left you? Are you really that dense, or do you get something out of acting like you’re some deep, loving guy that I would hate to lose?”
“I’ve made mistakes Blayne,” Nick said. “I’m not denying it. I told you a million times I know what I’ve done. I’ve apologized! And I’m telling you it’s not going to happen again. Why can’t you believe me?”
I felt tired.
“Nick,” I said. “It doesn’t matter now. Don’t you get it? I’m over you. I have been for some time but I wanted to wait and see if I was right. And that night, when I saw you…with her…I knew it was the right time to do what I did. If it hadn’t happened that night, it would have happened some other night Nick. All Chase did was speed it up!”
Nick was listening to this and I thought he got the message. But then he went ahead and said, “You don’t mean that.”
“Oh God Nick,” I made sure he heard it this time. “I mean every word. Stop doing this. Stop acting like we have a chance because I am telling you right now that we don’t. It doesn’t matter if I’m with Chase or not. What matters is that I am never going to be with you again. Please, for the love of God Nick, stop bothering me or I will get a restraining order! And I know how much you hate legal proceedings.”
I said this and went over to Chase whose face was bleeding. Nick stared at me for a while, but then I think he couldn’t think of anything to say so he turned and left.
“Are you okay?” I asked Chase who had a nasty cut on his cheek. “Let’s go get you help.”
Blayne
We were at the loft because Chase didn’t want to go to a hospital, even though I could tell he was hurt. He had a hand over his ribs and he could barely move. I got him to rest on the kitchen chair.
I took off his jacket and unbuttoned the shirt, got some ice in a bag from the refrigerator and placed it gently on the bruises that were forming around his chest. “Hold it here,” I said, and rushed to the bathroom to get the first aid box. I brought the whole thing to where Chase was still sitting.
I cleaned up the cut on his cheek, it was deep but it wasn’t bleeding anymore. I wiped off the wound with disinfectant and placed two Band-Aids over it.
When it was over, I set the items in the box, and finally found the courage to look at him. “I’m sorry, Blayne.”
“Were you ever planning on telling me? Or were you going to continue to make a fool out of me for the rest of our lives?”
“That’s not true, Blayne. I was going to tell you.”
“Why would you do that?” I was crying and I hated it. “You manipulated me into loving you.”
“Blayne, you love me because you love me! I manipulated our meetings, but I never manipulated you! I never pretended to be something I wasn’t! You know all my faults, you know everything about me. I’ve never been dishonest.”
“Lying to my face?” I screamed. “You had me stalked by some random guy! You were keeping tabs on me without my knowledge!”
“I did that to protect you, Blayne. I’m not going to apologize for it. Nick is a dangerous man! You don’t know him but I do!”
I couldn’t believe I was hearing these words from a guy who promised he wouldn’t hurt me. “You lied,” I said. “You kept things from me. And then you acted like it was nothing.”
He looked angry. “You know what,” he said. “Go ahead. Say it.”
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“What do you mean?”
He scoffed. “You want to break it off with me, just say it!!”
I didn’t have an answer for him. But I couldn’t tell him that I could forgive him and I couldn’t say with total honesty that I could get over it. I was hurting and all my old reflexes, prejudices were coming back to haunt me. After Nick, I wasn’t supposed to let anyone in. But I did and I broke each one of my rules. I didn’t let in any random, safe guy either, no, I let the most notorious man in the country inside my heart and I let him near my soul. Now, I would have to face the consequences. I had to face the heartache that came from my own weaknesses. “I need some time to think about it.”
He stood and there were tears in his eyes. “Blayne, you’ve been trying to find a reason to end it with me since day one,” I said. “You want to run! Then go ahead. I’m tired of convincing you to stay.”
My words trembled. “I need some time to think about it.”
“No, you don’t get time! Either you want to leave or you want to stay. So, which is it?”
I knew that his pain was making him lash out, but I couldn’t stop being angry at him. I wanted to break his heart before he broke mine.
And yet, despite all the anger I felt, despite all the confusion, leaving him all broken that night was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
He saw me leaving without a word, and got furious. I would have said something if I could bring my aching soul to speak. “Great decision, Blayne,” he yelled and I heard him gasp from the pain in his ribs and I stopped and turned back to help him…
“Just go,” he gestured to the door when he saw me. “Please leave!”
I hated that he was pushing me away.
I hated that I hurt him bad enough for him to resort to that.
I cried for the both of us trying not to stumble as I made my way out of that loft, and out of his life.
Chase
Kira came out of her room. I must have woken her up. She saw me with the hurt ribs and the face and came to help. I don’t know how I was still vertical. My heart felt like it was in a million pieces.
Kira helped me to my room and I sat on the bed and I couldn’t think.
“I’m guessing that you told her?” Kira looked sad. She looked sad for me, but my own girlfriend couldn’t see it.
“Her ex didn’t give me that chance.”
“Her ex?”
“We ran into Nick today,” I told her. “Kira, he knows everything. He’s been collecting this information for a while now. He wanted to get her back.”
“And did he… get her back?”
“No. I don’t think so.”
“So, she refused his advances?”
“She told him to fuck off.”
“Ah. My kinda gal!”
“She also told me to fuck off.”
Kira looked surprised. “Did she say that or are you just assuming that’s what she wants?”
“Well, she left me, didn’t she? She’s been trying to push me away forever.”
“But she was the one who brought you here,” Kira said. “And took care of you.”
“And then she left,” I repeated miserably.
“Tell me something. Was Nick hurt too?”
“I guess.”
“But she didn’t take him home and care about him, she stayed with you.”
“What’s your point, Kira?”
“After all that she was bombarded with tonight, I would have left you to suffer but she takes care of you, and all she asks in return for it, is that you give her some time to process. I’m sorry, Chase but she’s not the one pushing you away.”
Sometimes, Kira made a lot of sense.
I tended to push people away, I knew that.
“You’ll never forgive yourself if you let her go,” Kira said. “She needs to know how much she matters to you, now more than ever.”
But what if she wanted to leave me? Should I be influencing her decision? What about the fact that I’m completely wrong for her? Wouldn’t she be better off finding someone who isn’t the jerk of the century? She would be better off without me.
"Also, she left this the last time she was here," Kira reached across the counter for a box with purple ribbon flowers. "It must have dropped from her bag when she was visiting."
I took the box from her cautiously. The contents of the box were enough to make me want to scream. “Is this—”
"Yes."
I carefully set the box down on the counter.
“In that case,” I ran a hand over the box and it made me feel connected to her. “I need to fix this.”
Blayne
I had been on the laptop typing away random thoughts when I heard someone coming into the room. I knew who it was before I even heard his voice.
“Let me guess,” I said, without looking away from the laptop. “Chloe let you in.”
“I just needed to talk Blayne,” Chase said. The bandage covering the cut on his cheek was a new addition to his face. “Can you give me five minutes to explain myself?”
I heaved a sigh out of frustration, and set my work aside, turned toward him, ready to listen to whatever he had to say. “Go on,” I said. “You have five minutes.”
“I saw you two at some event,” Chase said. “I saw you and I saw him, and I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to get to know you but someone told me you were engaged to Nick. It felt to me like I’d never get a chance. I decided to let it go but then, sometime later I went to the men’s room and I saw Nick making out with some girl from the same party. I realized what he was doing and it made me mad. I just felt like maybe I should tell you but I wasn’t even sure you’d believe me.
“Then, I had a friend find out some history about you and I found out about you. And the more I read you, the more I started to learn about you Blayne, and the more I wanted you. That night, the first night we met, when you left Nick, it wasn’t a coincidence. I was the one who set Nick up with Sydney. I even made sure there were pictures, just in case you didn’t get home when you were supposed to. I would have made sure you found out one way or another. I don’t know why I did all that Blayne; I’ve never done this before. I just couldn’t bear the thought of never getting to know you. Or worse, that that bastard would keep doing this to you.
“So, I was there, just in case, waiting when you walked out of Nick’s place. I wanted to make sure you were okay. That’s all. That’s why I followed you to the motel. It was because of me Blayne and when I saw you all alone that night, crying, I wondered if I made a mistake. But when I found out more about Nick, I wasn’t sorry anymore. I saw what a jerk he was to you that day and I saw how you reacted to him, how you tried to make it sound like it didn’t bother you, like Nick isn’t that person but we both know that he is Blayne. We know he’s not a good person, not for you, and you’ve known it for a while now, you told me yourself. You’ve had plenty of chances to go back to him but you didn’t.
“He obviously wants you! So, what’s stopping you? You chose to stay single over being with him. You chose to stay with me over being with him, Blayne because you know how much you mean to me. I’m not lying about that. I’ve never lied about that. I love you more than I’ve loved any woman I’ve ever been with. And I know, I’m not the perfect person, and I know I should have told you sooner, but I’ve lost so many good things…I didn’t…I didn’t want to lose you too.”
“Is that all?”
“For now.”
“You know what,” I said. “Chase I’m starting to hate surprises. And I’m starting to think that people, who have these surprises in store for me, are just not the right match for me. Look at what happened with Nick. If I let this go, you’re going to do something like this again! Because you obviously do this a lot! You met me and you never told me anything and you’ve been lying to me ever since! How can I possibly trust you again?”
“I wasn’t lying to you about everything,” Chase said. “Just this one thing. I’m still the same guy, Blayne. I’m
still the same guy you met once when you were sad and I am still the same guy you brushed off so many times, and I’m still the same guy you started seeing because you saw something in me. Because you wanted to be with me.”
“Did you maneuver the whole work arrangement too?” I asked. “Did you somehow make Chloe give me Brenda’s card?”
“I may have spread the word.”
“I don’t know what to say to you,” I said. “I don’t know if everything I felt for you was even true. It feels like something you manipulated.”
“Our love isn’t something I could manipulate,” Chase said. “What matters is how you feel about me now, and how I feel about you. That’s what you need to focus on when you start deciding the fate of this relationship.”
“How are you not getting this?”
Chase walked toward me. “I get it,” he said. “I do. It’s just, by the time I realized what I was doing, I was already in too deep. I’m sorry, Blayne. I’m sorry I made things harder for you and I’m sorry about the whole manipulation bit but please, you need to think about this before you decide to throw all of this away.”
“That’s not what I’m doing—”
But my words hadn’t finished when Chase kissed me on the forehead. “My five minutes are over,” he said. “I hope you can come to a decision soon, because I really miss you.”
He said this and started walking out the door. “I’ll be waiting.”
Then, he stopped again and turned back to me. “I found something that belongs to you at the loft,” he said and I recognized the box with the purple ribbon flowers. For some reason, I felt embarrassed. It was a side of me I didn’t want to show. “I couldn’t resist looking inside, after all, I gave it to you. You saved every single one of those fortunes in here. From the first day, to the last day I got this delivered to your doorstep. I did it because I wanted you to keep me in your heart. But you've always had me in there, Blayne. Thank you for that.” He reached into his pocket and there was something in his hand. He opened his palm and held it up for me to see. “You’re missing something from your collection,” he said. I realized those strips of paper were the very first fortunes we opened the first day we met. “You should keep them with the rest.”