by Annette Mori
“You know, I’ve done a bit of soul searching lately and I wonder if I was blinded by something other than true love. Sure, I’m hurt, but honestly I’ll survive. Maybe I wasn’t as invested in the marriage as I thought I was. I think I understand more fully what truly being in love is really all about.”
Rachel looked at Sophia and Sophia realized at that moment that Rachel’s feelings for her had already evolved into something far deeper than friendship. This sudden realization knocked her off center. Was it possible that Rachel loved her—was in love with her?
“Why don’t you two go out there and send in the other half of the visitor contingent. You should take a walk and visit with one another. From the looks of things, you need to talk,” Dominick directed.
“Your father is a wise man,” Rachel acknowledged.
†
Lara didn’t like it one bit that Sophia and Rachel had become so close. She was on a mission to get her wife back and with Rachel in the picture it complicated things. She felt bad that she’d hurt both women, but she’d finally come to realize that her feelings for Rachel did not come close to her feelings for Sophia. She lusted after Rachel, but she loved and needed Sophia in her life. She might go as far as admitting that Sophia was the best thing that had ever happened to her and she feared she’d blown it.
She knew about Sophia’s tentative relationship with her father because of his infidelity, but that might work to her advantage. In a rare confession from Dominick, Lara learned that Sophia’s mom had forgiven Dominick and they ended up with a solid marriage until the day she died. Sophia had confessed to her that Dominick had been the loving, attentive, husband during her final days—taking much better care of her than either Marie or she thought possible, given his history.
Joy was glaring at her. Clearly, she might be an impediment. Marie had gone home to rest a bit before coming back and that left her all alone with Joy who was clearly declaring herself Sophia’s guard dog.
She wasn’t sure what she would do about Chelsea. She needed to nip that in the bud, and quick, if she had any chance at all. Chelsea had been a surprise. There was no pretense with Chelsea. It was all about sex with her and Lara had to admit the sex was fantastic, but not enough to risk her potential reuniting with Sophia.
“You can stop glaring at me, Joy. No matter what you think of me, what matters in the long run is what Sophia thinks and I’ll be damned if I’ll let you get in the way of our happiness. I admit I fucked up, but if we have a chance to repair this you need to back the fuck off,” Lara warned.
“You think you’re like Dominick, but you’re not. He had the good sense to clean his act up. I don’t think it’s in your DNA to change. You think you can charm your way back into Sophia’s good graces, but in my humble opinion you’ve already lost her to someone who is far more suited to her—someone who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated.”
“Just stay out of this, Joy. I will crush you like a bug if you get in my way.”
“Bring it on. Because you don’t scare me one bit miss big shot financier. Don’t forget that bigamy is a felony and I’m not quite as forgiving as Rachel or Sophia. In the historic words of Clint Eastwood, go ahead, make my day, I’d turn you in quicker than you can say fuck you.”
Lara would have to rethink her approach. Joy was becoming a serious impediment that she might have underestimated as a potential enemy.
†
The Vivian and Seymour Milstein Family Heart Center, attached to New York Presbyterian Hospital had a stunning view of the Hudson River. Sophia led Rachel outside the center, hoping to find a way to the Hudson River greenway. It was one of the more beautiful parts of New York. Similar to Seattle, if you didn’t live there you had numerous misperceptions about the city. To anyone who didn’t live in Seattle the assumption was that Seattle was a small city lacking in culture. Likewise, Sophia imagined that Rachel viewed New York as a crime ridden, concrete jungle lacking compassion or community. Nothing could be further from the truth and Sophia wanted to show Rachel a small part of her world.
“Wow this is really beautiful. There’s a lot more to New York than I originally thought, huh?” Rachel acknowledged.
“It may not have the same kind of beauty that Seattle has, but we have our own kind of magic.”
“Sophia, New York will always be magical to me because it’s where you live.” Rachel sighed. “I promised Joy that I wouldn’t rush in and tell you how I feel, but I just can’t keep that promise. I know I’ll probably scare you away, but you deserve to know how I feel. What you see is what you get with me and I can’t be anything but honest with you no matter what the cost.”
Rachel took both of Sophia’s hands in hers. “See, the truth is that I’ve fallen in love with you and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it because I understand that your emotions are all tied up in knots right now. I’m not expecting you to say anything back or even respond, but I just needed to lay my cards on the table and see where the chips fall. Shit, all that poker has got me using gambling analogies,” Rachel confessed.
“I wish I had everything sorted out in my head, but I don’t. I can’t ask you to wait until I do, but if it’s any consolation, I think I may have fallen for you, too. I have a long history with Lara and I owe it to myself to consider whether we can make it work. She’s given me a few things to think about. Somewhere in the back of my head, I have to wonder whether we can make it work like my father and mother did so long ago. I know that’s not what you want to hear right now, but it’s the most honest answer I can give you.”
“I understand. Really, I do. I wish it were different, but I can’t fault you in any way. Regardless of what I feel, I want you to be happy and if Lara will make you happy, I will gracefully bow out of the equation. I think it may be time for me to exit sooner rather than later. If you and Lara have any chance at all, I have to let her be your support and stop mucking things up for you.” Rachel brushed a tear away. “We’d better head back. I’ll get the next flight out back to Seattle and let you get on with your life.” Rachel gently kissed Sophia on the lips and started walking back to the hospital with her hands in her pockets.
Sophia swiped at her own tears which were falling freely now. She wasn’t sure she’d made the right decision, but it was too late now. Rachel was going back to Seattle and she feared she’d never see her again. It hurt more than she thought possible.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Life was good again for Lara. Although her marriage to Sophia was tenuous at best, she was confident that, in time, she would gain her trust back. She’d made good on her promise to Sophia and was actively looking for a buyer for her Seattle office. She had a backup plan if she wasn’t able to sell the business. Although it was a stretch for her to give up control, she decided that it might be possible to keep the business and look for a partner who would run that office and let her concentrate one hundred percent of her time on the New York office. Yolanda, her VP of Marketing, was her first choice. She was intelligent, dedicated, and ruthless. That was a combination that Lara couldn’t resist.
During the past couple of weeks, Dominick got stronger and was released from the hospital. He appeared to recover nicely. They scheduled his angioplasty and were optimistic about the results.
Lara was a little worried that despite the news about her father, Sophia appeared more melancholy than she’d ever seen before in her wife. She could understand her hesitancy to jump back into their marriage and the intimacy that they’d once enjoyed. They were working on that, but her sadness seemed much deeper than their fragile relationship.
Sophia was working on one of her lectures for the upcoming summer session. She’d volunteered to teach this summer. Lara suspected that she still needed some distance and a distraction to continue to work through her trust issues and the change in Lara’s schedule that resulted in her spending a lot more time at home with Sophia. It was still awkward, but they were both trying to get the spark back.
&nbs
p; Her cell phone buzzed on the counter while she worked on cutting up vegetables for their dinner. She frowned when she read the text message.
Just got in town. Meet me at the Times Square Hilton at seven. I’ll have a bottle of champagne put on ice. Bring the strap on. I’ll even play the submissive tonight.
Lara looked at her watch and wondered how she would manage slipping out of the penthouse to meet Chelsea. One final fuck and then she would find a way to let her down without losing her business. Lara rationalized that this wasn’t really about cheating because it was just sex and business with Chelsea.
Need 2 push that back a few hours. How about 10?
Disappointed, but I guess I understand. This was a last minute trip. I’ve missed you.
Me 2. Now that I’m not in Seattle anymore, it’s hard to arrange these meet-ups. CU soon.
Can’t wait.
Lara sighed. She needed to make sure this didn’t turn into another Rachel-like situation. She thought that Chelsea was all about meaningless sex, but she was starting to act differently and that worried Lara.
She set her phone back down on the counter and finished cutting up vegetables for the chicken stir fry she was making for dinner.
†
Sophia read the same sentence again. She was finding it hard to concentrate. Lara had been the model partner for the past two weeks. She was home every night by five-thirty and often the one who prepared their dinner when they didn’t go out to eat. She couldn’t fault her for a lack of effort, but Sophia could not stop thinking about Rachel. She wondered what she was doing. Was she forging ahead with her life? Had she met someone new?
Every time she picked up her phone to call, she’d stopped herself. It wasn’t fair to anyone. She’d made her choice and now she had to live with it and make the best of her situation. It was time to meet Lara halfway. She knew her heart had not really been one hundred percent in it during the past couple of weeks. She vowed to change that tonight.
Sophia walked into the kitchen and swiped a red pepper, popping it into her mouth.
“Hey, that’s for the stir fry. No stealing my ingredients before I put it all together,” Lara joked.
Sophia smiled. “Surely you won’t miss one little red pepper and….” She grabbed several snow peas. “A few snow peas.”
Lara swatted Sophia with the dish towel draped over her shoulder. “Out of my kitchen. Oh, by the way, I have to go into the office tonight for a few hours. I’m really sorry. I’ve tried desperately to not revert to my old ways, but unfortunately this one is unavoidable. The account is large enough that I can’t afford to neglect my duties. Is that okay with you?”
Alarm bells were ringing in Sophia’s head, but she chose to ignore them. “It’s fine. You’ve been especially attentive and one night away won’t kill me. Go ahead. I never asked you to ignore your business to the point of causing you irreparable damage,” Sophia answered.
Sophia was already thinking about calling Rachel—just to check to see if she was okay. She missed her. Weren’t they friends and friends called to check on one another?
“What wine would you like tonight? I’ll go get us a bottle from our wine cellar,” Lara asked.
“Maybe a crisp Chardonnay. I like the one that reminds me of grapefruit. I know that’s probably not the right description, but I never claimed to be a wine connoisseur,” Sophia answered.
Lara walked out of the kitchen and Sophia sat on one of the stools situated next to the granite island in the center of the modern kitchen with its shiny stainless steel appliances.
When Lara’s phone starting buzzing on the counter, Sophia picked it up, not even registering that it was not her phone. When she saw the text message, strung together with the previous text, the bile entered her throat and she barely made it to the sink.
Don’t forget the strawberries and whipped cream. I particularly enjoyed that the last time. Anxious for your arrival tonight.
Sophia carefully laid her fancy cell phone—the one that Lara bought her—next to Lara’s and walked out of the penthouse vowing never to return. It was time for a drastic change in her life. She felt like a huge weight was lifted from her shoulders and now she had the freedom to do what she should have done from the very start of this mess. This would be a clean break. She would leave Lara and her old life behind for good this time.
†
It had been three weeks, two hours and ten minutes since Rachel had seen or talked to Sophia, but who was counting?
She’d barely made it through each day and had to talk herself out of calling. She knew she was out of control when she’d attempted to drunk dial her, but her fingers wouldn’t work properly and then she’d promptly passed out. Instead, she cried herself to sleep each night, lamenting what she knew she’d lost.
As long as Sophia was happy, she convinced herself that it was for the best. They lived thousands of miles away from one another, even if Lara was not in the picture, it probably would never have worked. Rachel knew that wasn’t exactly true, because she would move in a heartbeat if only Sophia asked her to.
Rachel slumped down on her sofa and mindlessly clicked through the channels looking for something, anything, to take her mind off Sophia.
She wasn’t expecting company, so when she heard the doorbell, she hesitated. She wasn’t fit for visitors right now. Espresso was even avoiding her as he remained on his favorite chair, giving his mom a wide berth. Thank goodness Lara hadn’t fought her for custody of their only furbaby.
When the doorbell rang a second time, she dragged herself to the door to see who was disturbing her solitude and perfectly righteous pity party. She wrenched open the door ready to let the person on the other end have it. She stopped mid-yell as she realized who was on the other side.
“Sophia.” It was all she managed to say.
“May I come in?” Sophia asked.
“Of course. Not that I’m complaining, but what are you doing here?”
“Oh, God, Rachel. I’ve been a total fool. Can you forgive me?”
“Don’t you know by now, Sophia, that I would forgive just about anything? I’m still madly in love with you. Although I’m not sure what I’m supposed to forgive.”
“I don’t have a single piece of clothing with me. I just walked out of the penthouse with my purse and the clothes on my back. All I could think of was you these past few weeks. I love you, Rachel and I can’t imagine my life without you. I’ve made a mistake and I’m sorry that it took this long for me to realize it. The nail in Lara’s coffin came via a text message last night from her newest girlfriend, but to be honest, I think I knew deep inside it wasn’t going to work because I couldn’t erase you from my mind. I’ve wanted to call you so many times.”
Rachel pulled Sophia into her arms and crushed her lips against Sophia’s. After thoroughly ravaging her lips, she broke apart but kept Sophia in her arms.
“I don’t care what your reasons are. I’m just glad you’re here. Everything else is just logistics and I’m very good at logistics. I love you, Sophia, and I will love you until I die. That’s a promise I can easily make to you today and forever.”
“You know they say that love the second time around is always better. I love you, too, and I’ll never waver again on my feelings. Make love to me, Rachel.”
†
Rachel took control of their lovemaking as she showed Sophia to the master bedroom. She began to undress Sophia and she knew she was going excruciatingly slow but she wanted to etch this moment in her memory for all eternity.
As Sophia’s clothes tumbled to the floor, Rachel removed her pullover t-shirt in one swift movement and her pants soon followed. They stood before one another, naked and vulnerable.
“Beautiful,” each said simultaneously.
Rachel took Sophia’s hand as she pulled down the covers to the bed and guided her there.
She needed to feel Sophia’s body against her own as she moved on top of her. Each inch of skin sent shivers up her body an
d she came undone when she heard Sophia moan beneath her.
Rachel was usually creative and inventive in bed, but tonight she wanted everything to be pure and gentle. She wanted to feel Sophia with her tongue and fingers without the aid of toys that often worked to distance the experience, turning it into something physical versus emotional. She knew that she would be able to introduce Sophia to her wilder side at a different time. Tonight she would show her just how deeply she’d fallen in love.
As she worked her tongue down Sophia’s body, she stopped at her nipple and tugged gently with her teeth, pulling it in a playful, but sensuous manner.
“Oh, God that feels heavenly,” Sophia uttered.
She felt Sophia’s hands moving through her hair, noting their gentle caress on the back of her neck. This was one of Rachel’s favorite erogenous zones. She made a mental note to herself that she would check this out with Sophia later on.
Sophia’s musky smell alerted her to the level of Sophia’s arousal. When she finally lapped up Sophia’s glorious juices, the sweetness burst into her mouth like biting into a juicy berry.
Rachel could feel Sophia’s clit enlarge as she teased and licked the sensitive bud. Sophia was bucking under her and moaning loudly.
“Please, don’t stop. I’m so close. Go inside.”
Rachel enjoyed how vocal and open Sophia was, not hesitating to direct Rachel. She obliged her by curving two fingers into her vagina and stroking inside with a slow in and out movement.
Ten seconds later Rachel felt the walls of Sophia’s vagina contract around her fingers as Sophia called out.