“So, how are you feeling physically?” she asked.
“I’m feeling good overall. I have a headache now and then, but I take my meds and it goes away.”
“That’s good. I’m sure you want things back to normal as soon as possible.”
“Yeah, whatever normal is. I need you to shed some light on my life, starting with David.”
Kate nodded and took a sip of her coffee. “It seems like a lifetime ago, but I will tell you everything you want to know.”
“I was pretty blown away when Garrett told me David had died. I kind of know what happened, but I really want to hear it from you.”
Kate had a grave expression on her face as she was readying herself to tell me. “David and I had decided it was time to move on in our relationship and get married. We loved each other so much. You and Charlie were very supportive of our decision. He had rented an apartment near San Diego State so we could finish school and work our jobs. He was such an old-fashioned kind of guy, so living together was out of the question. We had a plan to get married at the Justice of the Peace. You and Charlie were meeting us there to be our witnesses. No one else knew about our elopement.”
Kate stopped for a moment to catch her breath. She swallowed hard and her eyes glistened. I reached out and put my hand on hers. “It’s okay, take your time.”
“I’m sorry. It’s taken me years to let go of what happened. To accept it.”
“Years, huh?” I asked, wishing I was caught up with everything.
“We were all devastated by what happened. For a long time I blamed myself.”
I continued staring at Kate, willing her to go on, giving her a slight nod.
“David was running late and I was growing impatient. Finally, I texted him to find out when he would be picking me up. I was an anxious bride, waiting for my groom. In the middle of him texting me back he hit the median and his car flipped several times. He was dead before the ambulance could get him to the hospital. I found out what happened when a nurse pried David’s cell from his hand and she called me. I thought it was some sick joke at first, but it was real. David was gone.”
Tears welled up in my eyes. “I hate this, not remembering and having to relive what I’ve already accepted. I can’t believe he’s gone. We were so close…since elementary school.”
“I know. Some days I still wake up and for a brief moment I think about calling him. Until Neil came along, I didn’t let anyone get close to me. It felt like a betrayal to be with someone else, even though I can’t go back and change anything. I spent a lot of time in therapy to let go of the guilt I felt over his accident.”
“So, you felt like it was your fault…that he died?”
“Yes, if only I hadn’t texted him. David would still be alive and we’d be together.”
I thought about her statement for a moment. When my mom blamed Kate earlier this morning, I felt some anger toward her. But now, just compassion. “Kate, it was an accident, just like me falling off the ladder. No one made it happen. It just did.”
Kate looked at me with such gratitude in her eyes. “You said basically the same thing back then. You never blamed me even though you could have.”
“David would want you to have a great life. He was so crazy about you.”
“I was crazy about him, too. You know, back then, I couldn’t have gotten through this without you and Charlie.” Kate wiped some tears away from her eyes.
“I hope talking about this isn’t too much for you. We’ve known each other for a long time and other than family, you’re the only other person who can fill in the blanks.”
“Of course, Mitch. I want to help you any way I can. I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be to not remember.”
“Yes, it is. I feel like I’ve made impulsive decisions because of my memory loss. Without even thinking, I broke up with Charlie and went back to Heather. I’m not even sure how it happened. It’s like a tidal wave has crashed over my life and I’m holding onto a raft, trying not to drown.”
“Well, you’ve made decisions based on what you know. But, you’re missing a lot of information…important information.”
“Okay, so why did Heather and I break up? Can you tell me that?”
“You never fully disclosed what happened between you two back then. You just kept saying what she did was unforgivable. That you were moving forward and never looking back. I assumed maybe she cheated on you, but I never knew for sure and as far as I know, you didn’t tell David either. You were very angry though and you told her to stay out of your life for good.”
“I guess I need my brother to fill me in. I would imagine I told him exactly what happened. He and I have been on the outs, which I didn’t know, so I’m not sure how much help he will be.”
“All you can do is ask him. Maybe he’ll surprise you,” Kate said.
“Maybe. So, how do you know Charlie? Is she a good person? I guess that’s a stupid question. I wouldn’t be with her if she wasn’t a good person.”
“Mitch, Charlie is the best person I know. She’s been there for me through everything. We were friends in middle school, but not high school because she moved. We became friends again the summer before our freshman year at SDSU.”
“Okay. Tell me about Charlie and me together.”
“Your relationship is the strongest one I know. You adore her, and Mitch, she loves you something fierce. You two were meant for each other from the moment you met.”
I couldn’t help but smile at Kate. She was how I remembered her and she was in my corner. I could feel her love and support oozing from her pores. “How did we meet?”
“We all had a class together and you met her on the first day of school. She was dating some terrible guy named Eric, who she wanted to get away from, but of course he had signed up for the same classes she had. He was controlling and manipulative, but you got in his way. Charlie broke up with him after class and you were there to make sure it stuck. I watched as you did what you do best. You protected her from a bad guy and I think she loved you from that moment. You two have been inseparable since then.” Eric. Obviously not the Eric I met at the pharmacy. He had said we were friends.
“Wow, so you could see we were meant for each other on that first day?”
“Yes, the way you looked at each other was like watching a movie, the characters having an unspoken connection. You two have that. She’s the one for you. You believed that so much you proposed to her and you’re supposed to be married in a few weeks.”
“I know. She showed me the proposal on her phone. I could see how happy she was to say yes.”
“She was beyond happy. I know you remember Heather, but is there any way you could spend some time with Charlie, get to know her before you make decisions that change everything? What have you got to lose?”
Heather came to mind. I could lose her if I spent time with Charlie, but everything Kate was saying made sense. I had asked Charlie to marry me. Obviously, I believed she was the one. And obviously, at some point before I met Charlie, I had realized Heather wasn’t. “You’re right. I’ve been rash. All I can remember is Heather. But if I broke up with her once, it would have been for a good reason. And you say I said it was unforgiveable? Then cheating sounds about right. I don’t have the last seven year’s worth of adult understanding to apply to this, but it feels as though my mom is trying to control me or manipulate me in some way. Both she and Heather were opposed to me talking with you. It’s confusing, Kate.”
“Mitch, you’re not the kind of guy to be controlled. Do you want them to run your life or do you want to decide for yourself what’s right for you?”
Kate sat there waiting for my answer. I knew she was right and some hard decisions were ahead of me.
“Kate, you’re right. I don’t want to be controlled. Does Charlie ever try to control me?”
Kate giggled. “No, I’d say Charlie’s a very strong woman, but she lets you be the man. Her personality compliments yours; that’s why you pu
t a ring on her finger. Before this accident, there wasn’t anything you two wouldn’t do for each other.”
I put my hand on my forehead, recalling what a douche I’d been to her when I went over to get my things.
Kate put her hand on my shoulder. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“I was a cruel ass when I went over with Heather and picked up my stuff, breaking up with Charlie.”
“She’s going to forgive you. She knows you’re not yourself right now.”
“You think?”
“I know. She loves you.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I saw it in her face when she visited me in the hospital.”
“So, what are you going to do? You have two choices. You can go back to the safe haven of the past or you can take a risk on what I know will be an amazing future.”
“You’ve given me a lot to think about. I don’t know what I’m going to do right now, but thanks for this afternoon. I’m probably going to need more days like today.”
“I’m here for you. Anything you need, anytime you need it. I want you to be happy and I believe in my heart your happiness is with Charlie.”
The afternoon had faded and early evening was settling in. Kate was driving me home when I realized I wanted to see Charlie. I wanted to spend some time with her and I didn’t want my mom or Heather to interfere.
Chapter 27: Charlie
I had spent most of my day attempting to wrap my mind around what had happened with Garrett. I had cheated on Mitch and that was worse than him not remembering me. How was I going to face him? Would he understand if I told him? What if Garrett told him first and Mitch never forgave me? The bleakness of the situation shrouded me in darkness, but I had…I had to figure this out. I had to get Mitch back and it was time to stop being pushed around by Lillian and Heather.
My mom had called me to check in. I couldn’t face her either with what I’d done. I told her I was planning on staying at my place and just taking some time for myself to sort through things. She seemed to understand and made it clear I could come home any time I wanted. I loved her so much. She had always been there for me and had a way of letting me make my own decisions without interference or judgment. Occasionally, she gave guidance, but she was confident in the job she and my dad did raising me. We had a great relationship.
I hadn’t eaten all day and had virtually no food in the house, so I decided to go get some Mexican food. I drove down to a local place to get a chicken burrito. Walking into the restaurant, a familiar presence was in the air. An evil presence…Eric. He was standing behind me in line. I could tell by his cologne. Knowing there was no way around this, I glanced back and sure enough, there he was.
“Charlie, it’s so good to see you,” he said in a delighted voice.
“Hi Eric,” I managed. I was less than enthusiastic to see him. My skin was crawling and my appetite was plummeting.
“How are you and Mitch doing? I saw his mom at the pharmacy a few days ago.”
So, Eric had found out Mitch and I were no longer together. He had already found me and was swooping in. Typical…and unnerving.
“Well, all relationships go through challenges. We’re working it out.”
“Oh, then the girl I saw him with is out of the picture?”
It was my turn to order, so I didn’t have to answer Eric’s question, thank God. I placed my order and moved out of the way to wait for my food. Please God, let them make it quickly.
Within seconds, Eric was standing next to me waiting for his food, too. “So, what are you up to nowadays, Eric?” I asked, attempting to sway the conversation away from me and Mitch.
“I’m a pharmacist at Walgreens. That’s where I saw Mitch, his mom, and his girlfriend.”
“I see,” I said, nodding slowly.
“You know, Charlie, I’ve really changed since we were together. I went to anger management classes and I don’t have to control women anymore. I’m really sorry for everything I put you through back then,” he said with a sincerity I didn’t quite believe. Control and abuse were in his nature and him breaking free of that would have taken a miracle.
“Thank you for the apology, Eric. I really appreciate it,” I said, with a forced smile.
“Do you think there’s any chance we could go out for coffee or something?”
“I don’t think so. I have so much going on right now, I’m not up for getting together. I hope you can understand.”
“Oh, sure. Maybe down the line when things settle down for you.”
“Maybe.” They called my number and my food was ready. I had never wanted to get out of a place so much in my life. Just standing in his presence gave me the chills. And there was no way on God’s green earth I was getting together with him. Ever.
“Well, I’m going to go. Have a good evening.”
“You too, Charlie. I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other around.”
My heart was heavy when I entered my apartment alone. My plan was to eat my dinner and watch some mindless TV so I wouldn’t have to think about…anything. Especially what I’d done with Garrett. I took a few bites of my food, but thoughts of what a horrible person I was kept flooding my mind. Wishing I could rewind time, I put my burrito in the fridge so I could eat it tomorrow. I had lost my appetite thanks to my own blatant selfishness.
I knew Natalie would be back in a few days from her honeymoon and I hoped she and Kate could maybe spend an evening with me devising a get rid of Heather plan. All sorts of things were going through my mind when I heard a knock on my door.
I got up quietly and looked through the peephole. I didn’t like to answer the door when I was home alone. To my surprise, it was Mitch on the other side.
“What are you doing here?” I asked as soon as I opened the door. Kate was standing next to him with a compassionate look on her face.
“I spent some time with Kate today and decided I wanted to see you. Can I come in?”
“Of course,” I said, beginning to shake on the inside. I hoped Mitch couldn’t see it or hear it in my voice.
“I’m going to take off. I just wanted to make sure you were here before I left. Can you take Mitch home?”
“Absolutely,” I said to Kate. Then I mouthed “Thank you” to her. She nodded and left. I guess I was going to find out if Kate had gotten through to him.
“Make yourself comfortable. Do you want something to drink?” I didn’t know what else to say. My guilt was making me rigid…nervous…freaked out.
“Water would be great.”
I walked into the kitchen to get water for each of us. I didn’t know if I should be ecstatic or scared to death he was here. I returned with the water and sat beside him.
“How are you feeling?”
“I wish I knew. It seems like I don’t know…I’m in unchartered waters trying to find my way.”
“I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this,” I said, attempting to be cognizant of what I said. I didn’t want to do or say anything to scare Mitch away. Then my mind flashed back to this morning. I hated myself for what I had done.
“After talking to Kate, I realized we are going through this. Not just me.”
I took in a deep breath, hoping this was the beginning of our way back to each other. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I decided to wait. Maybe he would take my hand. A girl could hope. “This is a lot to go through.” I sighed.
“It is, but I treated you pretty badly yesterday when I came over with Heather.”
“It’s okay. She’s who you remember,” I said, my stomach in knots just thinking about him breaking up with me.
“I think it’s more than that. I felt riled up for some reason. Everything’s just distorted right now. But being here with you has a familiar feeling.”
“It does?” I asked, trying not to leap into his arms. Hope was beginning to well up inside me.
“Yes. It’s easy to be with you. I don’t feel like I have to put forth a lot of effort.”
I nodded,
too choked up to say anything. Mitch put his hand on mine and all I could do was just stare into his eyes. Then he picked it up and looked at the ring he had given me.
“Did we set a date?” he asked, continuing to look at my ring.
“We were going to get married on February 22nd.”
“It’s January now, right?”
“Yes.”
“I think I’m going to need a little more time. I hope you understand.” Then he gave me his sexy grin. The same smile that made me weak in the knees. I wanted to climb on top of him and start kissing him, but I didn’t.
“What are you saying?”
“I’d like to have the chance to get to know you again and hopefully my memory will come back in the process.”
“I would love that. I know this must be so hard for you, Mitch, and I won’t put any pressure on you. Of course…well…of course I want you back. I love you. But it’s completely okay to take it one day at a time. I’m just glad you want to…try.”
“You’re so understanding,” he said, putting his hand to his head.
“Are you okay?” I asked, wanting to do anything, anything at all to make things better.
“My head is throbbing. I need to take my meds and eat something. I hate to cut this short, but I need to go home.”
“Of course. You need to rest. I’ll get my keys.”
Driving him home, Mitch held my hand. It felt so good to be connected to him, even if it was in this tiny way. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but at least he hadn’t written me off. I pulled up in front of his parents’ house, but didn’t turn off my car.
“So, how about we do something on Friday night? I probably need low key, but I’d like to see you.”
“Why don’t you come over? We can have dinner and just hang out.”
“Perfect. How about six?”
“Okay.”
“I’ll see you then,” he said, as he began opening his car door.
“See you then.”
I sat there for a moment, everything overwhelming me. My emotions today had been like a rollercoaster. I felt like an emotional wreck.
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