by Linda Swain
He never loved me, she thought bitterly, and I was a fool to believe that, somewhere deep down, he truly did. All he wanted was the money that I brought in, and the success I made of his damn club.
Turning to Ashton, she slipped her hand in the arm that he offered, refusing to glance back to the man watching from behind the bar. She hoped dearly that Ashton failed to notice the tears that gleamed unshed in her eyes. “I believe that we need some time alone before tonight’s . . . performance.” She spat out the last word as if it were one of the curses that Nick was so fond of using. Raising her head, she clutched Ashton’s arm, leaving without a backward glance.
* * * *
The last notes of Kat’s signature song were fading into the chatter of the club when the houselights flared brightly. With huge fanfare, Tim tooled out a silver cart. On a silver platter, a brightly decorated cake laden with glowing candles brought forth cheers. As birthday wishes rang out, Kat looked on with suspicion to Ashton, frowning in confusion as he shrugged his elegant shoulders.
With a laugh, she stepped away from the stage, moving to the elegant trolley before making an exaggerated effort to blow out the flickering candles. “Now, don’t ask what I wished for,” she called out to a laughing audience, “or my wish won’t come true.”
“I know what I’d wish for,” called out one of her regulars, “and believe me, I could make your wish come true while I was at it!”
Watching the tightness grow around Ashton’s expressive mouth as others joined in with raucous suggestions, she began to tremble. That’s why he wants me out of here, she told herself. He thinks that I deserve better than this . . . better than spending my nights singing and being groped by complete strangers. And even if he is a bit jealous, it just means he loves me. Better than someone who wouldn’t even admit that I belonged to him.
Her thoughts were broken as Ted reached out to take her by the hand. “We’ve another surprise for you,” he said with an easy smile. “In honor of your birthday, a special song has been written just for the occasion. It’s from all of us, but especially Nick, who penned the song just for tonight’s celebration.”
As Ted began singing in his beautiful tenor voice, a song about being alone together, he didn’t see Tim’s frantic gestures.
“Boss, I’m sorry,” Tim managed to whisper, his voice filled with regret. “I forgot to tell him to nix the song.”
With a nonchalant shrug, Nick glanced back. “It’s too late now. Let’s just hope our birthday girl’s boyfriend has a sense of humor.”
Swaying, Kat looked at Nick in astonishment. It was an intimate ballad about two lovers alone together against the world. Did you truly write that? Was that what you were doing all those times I caught you alone with Ted? Looking into Nick’s impassive face, she felt her world tilting and falling to pieces. Why? She cried silently as she stared at him. Why now, when I have a chance to be happy? You left me, remember? You were the one who walked out on me . . . why, Nick? Why now?
With panther grace, Ash leapt to her side, lifting Kat easily into his arms. Nestling there, she whispered softly. “Take me out of here, Ash, I need to go home.”
Smiling down at her, his lips registered an emotion that never met his eyes. His feline gaze remained cold as it switched from Kat’s delicate features to Nick’s rugged ones. “Hush, my sweet,” he chided softly. “It is simply a song. Nicholas knows that he has lost you, and he regrets it.”
Placing her carefully at his side, one strong arm braced at her waist, Ashton turned his attention to Nick. “I believe that this will be the last time that you upset my betrothed. I warn you, if you ever do it again, the last song that you will hear will be the dirge they play at your unlamented funeral.” She is mine now, Nicholas, he spat silently. And I will never, ever let her go. There will be no chance for you to reclaim what was once yours – and your folly will haunt you for the rest of your life. She is mine – and no soft words or silly crooning songs will ever bring her back to you.
The words he spoke aloud carried softly to Nick, but his expression gave little hint of the savagery of his words. Gently tucking Kat’s hand in his, Ash turned his attention to the woman at his side. “Come, my dear; it’s time you and I celebrated the day of your birth – alone, together.” His gaze moved back to Nick as he tossed the words callously back. Draping the softness of her mink wrap over her trembling shoulders, Ash silently escorted Kat to his waiting car, the silence within safely shutting out the noise that still poured from the club.
For a handful of heartbeats, there lay nothing but silence between them, but after a moment, Ash turned to her, his fine features lined with regret. “You still love him, don’t you, my Katherine,” he murmured regretfully. An elegant finger traced the line of her jaw, around her full lips, lingering at her lower lip. “Only someone you love could have put such a look of pain in those beautiful eyes of yours.”
Tapping on the partition that separated them from the driver of his Rolls-Royce, Ashton signaled that they wished to leave before pulling her willing body close to his. Though he made no move to draw Kat further into conversation, his mind was swiftly working over the problem her downcast eyes were presenting to him. I will find a way to make you forget him, my Katherine, he vowed. That common Irishman does not deserve a gem such as you, and I will find a way – I promise! To eradicate your feelings for him. You will be mine – and only mine.
Burying her face in the hollow of Ashton’s shoulder, Kat closed her eyes, trying to erase from her mind the look of pain that had flickered in Nick’s eyes as Ashton had swept her out of the club. “I don’t want to talk about him,” she murmured. I don’t even want to think about him. So I won’t. It’s my birthday – I can think about whatever I want. She let her eyes travel slowly up and down the length of Ashton’s body. While he didn’t have Nick’s rugged handsomeness, there was a clean, honed attractiveness to Ashton’s well-toned body that made the blood boil in Kat’s veins suddenly as she gazed at him. Meeting his eyes again and making sure he didn’t look away, she ran her tongue slowly over her lower lip. “But I know what I do want …”
“And what is that?” His voice, normally so smooth, grew husky as her hands began a persistent circle at the back of his neck.
“This . . .” Pulling his face to hers, her tongue pleasured his, slow and sweet. She knew it was crazy, even reckless. I know we agreed to wait until after we were married, but dammit, I want him – so why shouldn’t I have him? We’re engaged, and it’s my birthday. I want to erase Nick’s face from my mind, I want to forget how his hands feel on my body. I want Ashton’s hands on my body, Ashton’s lips on my skin! Call it a birthday present to myself from myself, she thought wildly, allowing her lips to slide down the clean lines of Ashton’s jaw.
“Douce Marie, mère de Dieu,” he whispered even as his hands pulled her closer. He should protest; he knew he should. “Damn it, Katherine, I thought that we were going to wait.” There, he thought. He had protested, even if he knew in his heart that it was meaningless. And she wasn’t stopping. And dear, sweet God, I do not want her to.
Opening his shirt, she gloried in the clean scent of citrus on his skin. When he didn’t respond, she took a desperate breathe, unaware that he was using every last ounce of willpower he possessed not to simply ravage her where she sat. “Maybe I’m not what you want . . .” She sat back, her eyes huge and lost as she looked at him.
“Not what I want?” He choked on his words. “I want everything that you are, everything that you have to give, and then I would want more. And most of all, I want to make you forget him. Is that what you want?”
“Yes,” she whispered as he pulled her firmly back against him, her hand reaching down into the heated darkness that awaited her. She felt him rise against her, smooth and hot, desire evident with every move that he made.
“I will not be gentle,” he warned. “I do not want you softly. I want you hot and wet for me, panting as I take you as you have never been taken before. Tha
t is what I want.” His opalescent eyes were icy chips of diamonds that burned her flesh as they swept over her. “Is that what you want?”
She could feel his desire. It was everywhere: in his hands, in the way that they moved over her, in what they took, and what they gave. She could taste it on his lips and by the heat from his mouth.
Desperate, she moved to him, dragging at his shirt, digging her fingers into flesh and muscle. “Touch me,” she demanded. “Touch me.”
Her urgency surprised and aroused him. As he feasted on her skin, he used his hands to take her over. She moaned his name, a sound of both pleasure and pleading. Still, she shook with needs not yet met.
“Katherine.” He laid a hand on her cheek, wanting to see her eyes. “Look at me.”
She did what he asked, struggling not to let herself fall away. “Inside me,” she moaned. “I want you inside me.”
“You will know nothing else but me.” His accent deepened, coloring his words as the leash on his needs began to come loose. “There will be only hunger – and I shall be the only one to satisfy it.”
How long have I waited for you, ma belle? You have evaded me for so long, and now at last you are here with me. Oh, you have begun this, ma belle, mon amour, but I shall finish it.
He smiled as his hands freed her from her coat and blouse, his head bending to taste the sweetness of her breasts, gasping as her hands found the dark hardness of him. He jerked hotly against her fingers, and his hand slid under her skirt and up a silken thigh. If she had ever doubted his desire, he quickly put those fears to rest.
There was no thought past the need he was evoking in her, no emotion past the desire he had awakened in her. He filled her with wonder, pleasure expanding within her in shivering waves as it continued to build and . . . abruptly, she stiffened, calling out his name in a gasping benediction.
“Only me,” he growled as a reminder.
“Ash . . .” Light crested, exploded and she was bucking up against his fingers as they delved deep inside. Lifting her against the leather seat, he took her inch by incredible inch. Shivering, she shoved at his chest, twisting blindly. Time had ceased to exist and he was in no mood to hurry. He tasted the increments of his own pleasure and taught Katherine new ones. “Like this,” he said harshly, through gritted teeth. “Slowly, so that you will never forget who it is that loves you.”
“I won’t forget,” she whispered. “Dear God, please.” Her voice broke as she tensed around him, captured by pleasure once more.
Groaning, he braced his arms against the seat, pulling her atop him before moving in a silent rhythm until both were blind with need. He rocked her back and forth, mindless of the driver who had reached their destination, and who sat quietly, staring out at the darkness in front of him.
Ash’s hands tightened on her wrist as his zenith approached and then backed off; he panted in time with his need. Grinding against him, Kat wrapped her arms around him, pressing her breasts against the smooth texture of his skin. He could feel her desperation, her need for him.
Oui . . . oh yes, ma belle, mon chagrin d’amour magnifique. I love you, my Katherine and I will make you mine.
He drove into her once more and felt himself spiraling over the peak of his pleasure. Choking out her name, his hands tightened on her hips as Kat cried out in return, tossing her head back, torn in two by the passion he was inspiring in her. Then the world seemed to fade away and neither knew anything more than the contentment that only lovers know.
Even as he held her in his arms, feeling her body relaxing against his, Ashton watched her sharply. No, he knew that there were no thoughts of Nicholas now, surely not in this hazy languorous bliss their bodies had shared. But, he found himself wondering about the next time. What about the nights that were to follow, where, once again, she would return to the stage and face Nicholas? Where, once again, her damned contract would force her to entertain a crowd of louts who had no idea of the talent before them? To be fair, he admitted silently as he shifted Katherine in his arms, Nicholas’ establishment is one of the best in the city.
Although he knew that Katherine was too naïve to understand, Ashton was very familiar with the dangerous game that Nicholas was playing. He had not held on to Katherine tightly enough, and now he was facing the consequences. His unreasonable reaction to her simple request to make him a very rich man and release her from her legal obligations was proof. While Ashton’s circles moved in vastly different levels to Nicholas’, it didn’t mean that he didn’t know how the world worked.
When the club had first come to his attention, Ashton remembered how it had piqued his interest. He had enquired around, using his connections on both continents to learn all that he could about the new proprietor, even managing to meet Nick briefly a short time after its opening. Ashton had recognized, even then, a man, like himself, who was willing to walk on either side of the law whenever it suited him.
Observing from the sidelines, Ash had watched with interest as both mobster and government had tried to break Nick, and had been both amused and pleased to see that Nick was not one to be intimidated.
Ashton also knew that his main bartender, a fresh-faced man who seemed to have no more to his identity than his given name, was as swift at cards and their various tricks with which he could free money from unsuspecting ‘marks’, as he was at serving drinks.
In the end, Ash thought as he leaned back against the plush seat, Nicholas is no more than a common man from the streets . . .he has simply attained a little of the good fortune that those of my rank have had available to them all of their lives. Katherine deserves better than he can ever give her. That is why he has released her to me. But he allows his heart to play a dangerous game, and if this is, how he wishes to play, than he will find me a most willing opponent. He will not listen to what his heart is telling him and would put this woman in the middle of this internal conflict. I will not have that.
Looking down at the woman who dozed so peacefully in his arms, Ashton vowed silently that Nicholas would understand just what he had lost. Do not fret, my Katherine. I will make certain that he knows what he has allowed to slip from his fingers. He should have fought for you, my Katherine, and I will make you forget that he was ever a part of your heart. He is not, and never will be, worthy of you, and in time you will come to see that for yourself. You will know the life for which you were born, and I will be the one to show you.
Deftly, he rearranged his attire before attempting to repair the damage he had done to Kat’s clothing. Thankfully, he knew that her long coat would disguise what could not be repaired. Placing tender kisses on her cheeks, he smiled to realise that her first words upon waking from her doze were of the pleasure that he had given her.
“Ash,” she began, “that was . . . you were amazing.”
Smiling gently, he drew her from the automobile, “Ma chérie, that was just the beginning.” Relying on the well-trained discretion of his employees, Ash swept her up the drive without a second glance. She had opened Pandora’s Box and now it was impossible for it to close. After this evening, he would see it to that it would never be possible for her to return to the arms of a man so closed off that he would not admit to anyone how he felt about the woman he had just so blithely allowed to walk away. No, Ashton Montserrat went after what he wanted and this woman was whom he wanted.
Opening the front door to the little farmhouse to which his chauffeur had driven them – his little getaway from the city – he brushed quickly by his startled butler, Giles. “Champagne,” he snapped, watching as Kat looked about in awe at the works of art that he took for granted.
While Ash had escorted her to the most elegant and popular spots, he had yet to take to her to any of the places that he called home. From the brief descriptions he had given her in the past, she realized that this could only be one of many of his homes, and yet its simple elegance appealed to her.
There was so much she still needed to learn about Ash and his life, especially if she wa
s to be the kind of wife that he wanted, she thought. She tried, in her own way, to please him by becoming comfortable within his circles; even going so far to dress in a way that pleased him, wearing sleek, sophisticated clothes that had been chosen by the man who had declared his love. For herself, she was beginning to become accustomed to the feel of silk against her skin, what it was like to have diamonds casually clasped about her throat. Katherine Collins was beginning to know all the privileges of great wealth. Even if, she thought wryly, I still stare around at the paintings on his walls like some farm girl.
As Ash led her by the hand up a wealth of stairs, she still could not contain the blush that tinged her cheeks at the inquiring looks from the maids who passed in the hall, or the promising gaze in Ash’s green-gold eyes. Distracted, it took a moment for her to realize that Ash was speaking. “I’m sorry,” she apologized shyly. “I was thinking that all of this was a wonderful dream and that I was going to wake up at any moment.”
“It is not a dream, I assure you,” Ash chuckled softly. “I was simply asking if you would like something to eat. You must be famished.”
When she stammered out a simple answer, Ash laughed and snapped out a flurry of commands, watching as the maids scurried to obey his instructions. Then, leading her further down an immense hall, he opened yet another elegant door that led to his bedroom. Lifting her in his arms, he laid her on sleek damask sheets, watching as she squirmed deliciously.
“They’re going to bring the food in here?” she asked, sounding slightly scandalized. Laughing, Ash shed his clothes, tossing his shirt carelessly over a nearby chair. He was all wiry strength, with a strong muscled chest and a body that spoke of many hours in a gymnasium. Quietly, as she lay with the soft beauty of the sheets at her back, she compared – as she was helpless against doing so – the two men who had most influenced her life so far.