by Jan Drexler
Maybe he should run today. Bram watched the roadside pass by without seeing anything. Leave Indiana, leave Ellie, leave everything. He’d call Peters in the morning, tell him he quit. It was too risky.
Never see Ellie again.
Or stay and risk Kavanaugh using her to get to him.
He couldn’t bear either one.
Once the wagon crossed the railroad tracks, the sounds of the city faded. Bram risked a look behind them. The road was empty. No Packard followed. Maybe Kavanaugh hadn’t recognized him.
Would he even hear the soft purr of the Packard before it was too late?
A wash of cool silk flowed through his mind, giving him the calm he needed.
Bram looked behind him again. Nothing but dusty gravel.
What should he do? The cool-silk feeling flowed again.
Stay, watch, listen. If he stayed, at least he could try to protect Ellie. If he ran, there was no guarantee Kavanaugh would follow. He’d never know if Kavanaugh had recognized him until it was too late.
The cool silk folded around the tight feeling in his gut, loosening it. It was as if someone had been listening to his thoughts and guiding him to the right decision. Whatever it was, it had helped.
Ja, he’d stay.
* * *
At dinnertime, Ellie volunteered to help with drinks for the workers, even though the job of keeping the men’s water glasses filled would let her mingle with them. The thought of seeing Bram made her hands shake, but she had to see him. She couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was very wrong.
A sea of muted color swirled through the space between the house and the tables. Hurried snatches of conversation filled the air as the women flew in and out of the house, bringing out the food. Bowls of stewed chicken and noodles, mashed potatoes and jars of chowchow filled the tables. Sliced loaves of bread sat next to crocks of fresh butter, jars of last year’s jam and apple butter. Pies filled another table made of sawhorses and planks, causing the boards to bow precariously in the center.
The whole group of more than two hundred men, women and children fell into silence during the blessing pronounced by Mordecai Miller, bishop of the Forks church, and then the crowd of men lined up at the table and began filling their plates.
Ellie kept the glasses full, nodding to the men she knew as they passed through the line.
“Ach, Ellie, this looks wonderful-gut.”
Levi Zook smiled at her, his round face red from the morning’s work in the sun.
“Denki, Levi. I hope you enjoy it.”
“Are your children here today?” Levi lingered at the table. Ellie glanced at the row of blue, black and brown shirts waiting for him to move on.
“Ja, they’re playing with the other children.” She moved a cup within reach of the next man in line.
Levi shifted to the side to let the man pass. “You know, I think about you a lot.”
Not here, not now.
“Levi, I can’t talk right now.” She tried to keep a pleasant look on her face as she filled another glass with water.
“Ach, between your children and mine, there’s never a time when we can talk.”
Ellie put the pitcher down on the table, ignoring the water sloshing over the sides, and looked straight into Levi’s eyes. “We don’t have anything to talk about. I told you before—I don’t plan to marry again. You need to find someone else.”
Levi leaned in close, ignoring the men waiting for him to move on. “You need me as much as I need you, Ellie.” His voice was laced with desperation. “Please say you’ll consider it.”
Suddenly aware of the silence around them, Ellie realized her voice had risen. She and Levi were the center of attention. She turned from Levi to serve the next man in line and looked up into Bram’s face. He looked from her to Levi, and his eyes were a stormy gray. How long had he been standing there? Her stomach clenched and unclenched at the thought of the conversation he had just overheard...the conversation everyone had just overheard, she amended as she realized that her brothers and Matthew Beachey were standing right beside him.
She dropped everything and ran—away from the talk, away from the questioning eyes, away from Bram. Blind steps took her to the field where the buggies sat in a row and found Dat’s. Climbing into the back, she curled up on the seat. Tears filled her eyes.
How would she ever face him again? How would she ever face any of them again? Not only had she had a conversation with Levi in front of everyone that should have been private, she had drawn attention to herself. Nothing could be more humiliating.
“Ellie?”
Ach, ne, it was Bram. Ellie froze. He must have seen her coming this way. Maybe he had missed her scrambling into the back of Dat’s buggy.
“Ellie?”
Bram’s voice sounded louder, and she heard footsteps in the grass next to the buggy. She curled up tighter, then jumped when Bram’s face appeared in the door.
“I thought I saw you go in here. What are you doing?”
Ellie hesitated at the demanding tone of Bram’s voice. Was he angry? She cleared her throat.
“I’m fine. I’m just resting for a bit where it’s quiet.”
“What were you thinking, talking to Levi Zook like that in public? Do you know how many people heard you?”
She nodded, unable to look him in the eye. Ellie waited for him to leave, but he didn’t move. It was a mistake to come to the barn raising today. She should have stayed at home, but she had wanted to be with her friends... Ne, why try to lie to herself? She had been hoping to see Bram today, but she had for sure made a mess of everything.
“What is he to you, Ellie? Have I been making a fool of myself these past few weeks?”
“Ach, Bram, there’s nothing going on between Levi and me.”
“He seems to think there is.”
“That’s because he won’t take ne for an answer.”
Bram sighed, his shoulders slumping as he leaned against the buggy door.
“What am I, then?” His voice was nearly a whisper. Did he want her to answer?
How would she answer? What was Bram to her? He raised his eyes to hers, shadowed steel-gray.
Her voice whispered back, “You’re no Levi Zook, Bram Lapp.”
Chapter Eleven
Mercifully, Bram left her alone sitting in the back of Dat’s buggy. Alone to think about what she had said and done.
Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking, even when Ellie clenched her fists, leaning against the buggy wall. She took deep breaths, forcing the threatening tears to stop.
She must face them again, all those people who had heard her outburst, whether she felt like it or not. They would forgive her, of course, but would they ever forget? The longer she stayed hidden in Dat’s buggy, the worse it would be.
Ellie smoothed her apron with her hands, bringing back some control. She reached up to tuck any loose hairs under her kapp and wiped her cheeks once more. Taking a deep breath, Ellie stepped out of the buggy.
As she rounded the wheels, the heavyset man Lovina had pointed out earlier stepped into her path. He stopped Ellie with a hand on her arm and leaned in close, reeking of unwashed clothing. Why wasn’t he working with the other men?
“I’m looking for Bram Lapp. I saw him follow you over here, but then I lost track of him. Where did he go?”
Ellie pulled her arm away from his clumsy fingers. “He went back to work. Why do you want him?”
The man grinned, turning his face into a distorted reflection of Bram’s. “I’m his brother. I just wanted to have a chat with him. If you see him, tell him I’m looking for him, all right?”
“Ja, I can do that, but you’ll find him over at the barn.”
Bram’s brother winked at her. “Ne, I don’t need to bother him there. I’ll
find him. You just give him the message.” Ellie started walking away, but the man’s voice followed her. “You tell him I want a piece of whatever he has going on, you hear?”
Ellie hurried toward the house, glad to leave Bram’s unpleasant brother behind. What could he mean, that he wanted a piece of what Bram was doing? Bram wasn’t involved in anything more than getting his farm going, was he?
She stepped into the kitchen, intent on gathering her things and finding her children so they would be ready to leave as soon as Dat said it was time. Relief washed over her when she found Mam there, sitting at the kitchen table with a whining Danny on her lap. When she was younger, Mam would listen to all her sorrows—now it was enough to just sit near her, drawing in her quiet strength.
“Ach, Danny, here’s your memmi.”
At Mam’s words Danny turned and lifted his hands to her, and Ellie took her tired boy, letting him bury his face in her shoulder. She sat in an empty chair and settled Danny on her lap. He would be asleep in no time.
Being with Mam as she held Danny’s small body close comforted her raw nerves. She laid her cheek against Danny’s soft head and closed her eyes as she rocked him gently back and forth. If only she could stay like this forever. Forget about Bram, his brother, Levi...everything.
The kitchen was quiet now, or as quiet as it could be during the after-dinner cleanup. Most of the work was being done outside under the shady trees, with women coming into the kitchen now and then to put dishes away. The sounds of the children’s games drifted in from the yard.
As Danny’s body relaxed into sleep, Ellie opened her eyes and sat straight, adjusting the baby into a position that was comfortable for both of them.
“Do you want to lay him down somewhere?” Mam asked, her voice quiet so she wouldn’t disturb Danny.
“Ne, I’m ready to sit for a while, and I don’t want to risk waking him by laying him down in a strange place.”
Mam nodded. She waited until the kitchen was empty and then said, “I didn’t see you at dinner. Did you have a chance to eat?”
Ellie shook her head. “I’m not hungry.”
Mam gave her a worried look but went on. “The men have been working hard. The new barn is almost done.”
“That’s wonderful-gut.”
If the men were almost done, they could go home soon. Ellie longed for her own kitchen, her own bed. Why had she thought joining the barn raising would be a good idea?
“I saw you talking with Levi earlier.”
Did she miss Ellie’s humiliating behavior? She must have. “Ja, he wanted to visit for a bit.”
“He does so well, alone with all those children.”
Ellie shifted Danny a little higher on her lap.
“Mam, I’m not going to marry Levi Zook.”
Mam shook her head. Ellie knew that expression on her face. She wouldn’t give up until either she or Levi was married, but she did know when to change the subject.
“I heard some talk about Bram.” Ellie nodded, and Mam went on. “You know I don’t listen to gossip. If what is said has any truth to it, then it should be said openly.”
“I don’t know if there’s any truth to what’s being said.”
“Have you asked Bram about it?”
“Well, his brother said Bram was involved in something, but I don’t know what he meant.”
“But what did you hear Bram say?”
A trio of women came into the kitchen just then, laden with clean dishes. With the interruption, Ellie couldn’t answer Mam’s question. How would she even respond?
* * *
Bram swung his hammer in a precise, measured blow. Set the next shingle and set the nail, a swing of the hammer, another nail. Once you learned to shingle a roof, you never forgot. He stopped to straighten his back and wipe the sweat from his forehead.
Below him, women were gathered around a quilting frame that had been set up for the afternoon. He couldn’t see Ellie anywhere, but she must still be here. Her brothers were nailing in their shingles on the opposite end of the roof from him.
He returned to his work. It wouldn’t do to let those boys get ahead of him. He’d never hear the end of it.
Shingling took concentration and attention, but it was repetitive and allowed his mind to wander. Why hadn’t Ellie told him about Levi Zook before? Why did he have to find out about the man’s intentions this way?
He hit a nail too hard, and it bent under his hammer. He pulled it out and pocketed it, then put a new one in its place. Precise, measured blows.
He forced himself to concentrate, but the look on
Ellie’s face as he had left her in the buggy haunted him. She had faith in him, but had she heard the gossip Samuel was spreading? And then there was Kavanaugh. He had to talk to her—he had to warn her.
Warn her about what? To watch for a rat-faced man in a maroon Packard? All he had to go on was that maybe, just maybe Kavanaugh had recognized him and might be looking for him along the back roads of LaGrange County. That wasn’t enough for her to take him seriously.
As he reached the peak of the barn roof, Bram took a quick glance at the Stoltzfus boys. They had finished their part of the roof and were filling in the space between him and them. He put his last nail in just as they reached him. “Is that the last?” Bram asked.
“Everything except the rail,” said Reuben.
Bram followed the boys down the ladder and watched another crew finish up the ridge. The final nail went in with a cheer, and the men scattered to gather their tools and families.
Trying to keep track of the Stoltzfuses in the milling crowd, Bram lost sight of John and his boys. He made his way toward the house. Ellie must be here somewhere, gathering up her children. Or maybe avoiding him.
“Bram, hold on.”
He cringed inwardly at Samuel’s call—his brother’s call. Did Samuel have anything to say he’d want to hear?
Bram kept his expression calm when Samuel stepped in front of him, a triumphant grin on his face. He looked as if he was satisfied with his day’s work.
“I was surprised to see you here today,” Samuel said.
“You shouldn’t have been. A barn raising is a time for the whole community to come together.” Bram waited. Samuel wanted something, and sooner or later he’d get around to it, but Bram would rather get it done with. He looked past Samuel to where the women were busy gathering up their things and calling their children together. Ellie stepped out of the house carrying Danny.
“I hear you bought yourself a farm.”
Bram turned his full attention to Samuel. He was a loose cannon and needed to be dealt with. He could only hope that Ellie wouldn’t leave too quickly.
“Ja, it’s down near Emma. I’m settling there now.”
Samuel grinned. “It makes me wonder where you got that kind of money, after being away in Chicago all those years. I’ve heard the only people in Chicago with money are gangsters.”
“I know you’ve been spreading rumors, Samuel, and there’s no truth in them.”
“That’s not the way I see it. The way I see it, there might be people back in the city willing to pay to find out exactly where your money is. You made a big mistake coming back here.”
Bram fought for control, but he knew how to handle a man like Samuel. He drew himself up to his full height, laid his hand on his brother’s stocky shoulder and drew him close. He put a pleasant smile on his face, but his words, whispered so only Samuel would hear them, carried the punch he wished he could put into his fist.
“You’re the one making the mistake, Samuel. Don’t try to threaten me. You don’t know anything about any money. As far as you know, I saved up while I was working in Chicago and now I’ve come back.” He leaned closer to Samuel and put one arm around him in a brotherly hug. “I don’t nee
d to tell you what might happen if you keep spreading rumors, do I?” he breathed in the other man’s ear.
He drew back. Samuel’s dismayed face told him his words had carried the right weight. He patted the dirty shirtfront. “I’m glad we had this talk.”
Bram pushed past his brother, hoping he hadn’t made a mistake leaning into Samuel like that. Hopefully, throwing around a bit of muscle was all he needed to keep him quiet. Even so, he’d have to be careful. Samuel was just the kind of man Kavanaugh loved to use.
Once he reached the back door steps, Ellie was nowhere to be seen.
Standing on the back porch, Bram scanned the crowd, hot with impatience. Samuel had delayed him just long enough. He looked toward the field where the buggies were parked, but in the milling crowd he couldn’t tell one family from another.
There, a young woman with a boy walking beside her. He started after them, but before he was even halfway across the yard, he could tell it wasn’t her. He shot a glance toward the parked buggies again and swallowed a curse. The Stoltzfus rig was gone.
An endless line of buggies stretched in both directions up and down the road. They were in there somewhere, but he didn’t have a chance of catching up with her—not unless he could pull off the impossible.
Partner greeted Bram in his usual way, mouthing the front of his shirt with rubbery lips.
“No time now, boy. We’ve got to get going.”
Bram checked the horse quickly and then reached for the harness. One of the reins was broken. A word from his Chicago past almost made it to his lips at the delay. He couldn’t drive Partner with it hanging loose, but how did it get this way?
When he found the two ends, a cold chill ran down his back. They had been cut. This wasn’t an accident. He flashed a quick look into the trees of the fencerow. Could Kavanaugh have followed him all the way from Goshen? But the trees weren’t hiding anyone—the early-summer growth was too sparse.
He tied the ends so the rein would hold together long enough to get home, slipped the bit into Partner’s mouth and tightened the harness buckles. That cut edge was clean. Whoever had done it had used a very sharp knife. Could Samuel have cut the rein? That was the kind of petty crime the brother he knew twelve years ago would have pulled off.