The Prodigal Son Returns

by Jan Drexler

  Sit up, she told herself, but instead she opened her eyes to see Bram’s face just inches from her own, his expression unreadable, his eyes locked on hers. He bent his head slightly and then paused, his eyes flickering with doubt.

  Ellie put her hand up to his cheek, bridging the gap between them. His blue gaze stilled and darkened. He was going to kiss her and she longed to let him, but she couldn’t. To kiss him would be a step into a sin she would never be free of.

  Forcing herself, she lowered her hand and shifted away from him. A hot breeze played between the two of them on the glider.

  * * *

  Bram wanted to pursue Ellie as she drew away from him. She had wanted his kiss, but she was right to stop him. With an inward groan, he loosened his hold on her soft, yielding form, his arms already aching with the loss. He kept her as close as he dared with his left arm around her shoulder and closed his right hand around hers. It was small, soft and cool from the wet towel as it lay in his larger one. Relaxed. Trusting. Fragile. A bird in his hand.

  His throat tightened as he turned her hand over and stroked her palm with his thumb. What reason had he ever given for her to trust him? How could he ever keep her safe?

  He opened his mouth to speak, to warn her about the man he was hunting, but the look on her face stopped him. She was watching their hands together, a small smile turning up the corners of her mouth. A slight breeze had dried a few hanging strands of her hair, and they drifted across her forehead, making her look like a young girl. The worry line that usually strained her features was gone. When had it disappeared?

  He couldn’t tell her. Not yet. This wasn’t the right time to let her know about the violent past that continued to dog his footsteps. Kavanaugh had been close, but even though Bram had spent the past week hunting for him through the neighboring towns, he hadn’t seen any sign that the gangster was still around. As long as he kept to his plan, he would be safe.

  Bram tightened his hand, enfolding Ellie’s in his own. They would both be safe.

  * * *

  “Will we buy ice cream?”

  Susan heard her brother. “Ice cream? Will there be ice cream there?”

  “Ice cream costs too much money.” The disappointed looks on the children’s faces pulled at Ellie’s heart, but they didn’t argue with her. “I think we can buy a treat at the grocery store, though. How about some chocolate to make brownies?”

  Johnny and Susan grinned at each other with delight. Trips to town were rare, and even though Daniel would have said the trip was enough of a treat, the chocolate would make it extra special.

  “I hear Bram’s buggy.” Johnny raced out the door to meet him.

  “Wait, Susan. You need to wear your kapp.”

  “Just like Memmi.” Susan smiled up at her, the stiff white kapp framing her sweet face as Ellie fit it over her braids.

  “Ja, just like Memmi. Now, you go on out with Johnny. We don’t want to keep Bram waiting.”

  Ellie settled her bonnet over her own kapp before picking up Danny. Bram’s greeting to the children drifted in through the open window, sending her stomach rolling and heat flooding to her cheeks. Bram was here to take them to LaGrange, to the county tax office.

  It was a trip she had been dreading, but Bram had lifted a sore burden from her when he’d offered to loan her the money she needed. She would pay the taxes this morning, and then she didn’t need to worry about them for another year. Surely by then Mr. Brenneman would be working again, and she would be able to pay Bram back as well as pay next year’s taxes.

  Another reason for her light mood filled the field next to the house. At least half of the strawberry plants still survived, in spite of yesterday’s heat. Perhaps she would have berries to sell next spring after all.

  From Bram’s animated conversation with the children as they waited for her in the back of the buggy, it sounded as if he was looking forward to this trip as much as she and the children were. When she stepped out of the house, he came to meet her.

  “Good morning.” He leaned so close to her she was afraid he was going to start the day with a kiss on her cheek, but he only gave her a grin as he took Danny—that secret grin meant just for her.

  “Good morning, Bram. Denki for driving us into town.”

  He helped her into the buggy and then held her hand until she looked at him. “I wouldn’t let you go alone. I’m here for you, Ellie.” His voice was low, intimate. Her cheeks flushed hot.

  Taking Danny from him, she waited as he climbed in on the other side and chirruped to Partner. Her heart fluttered like leaves catching a passing breeze, and she resisted the urge to thread her hand through his elbow as if they were courting. How long had it been since she had felt like this? Bram’s strength gave her a security she hadn’t known since she was a girl.

  Even when Daniel was alive... Ach, had she really been the proud, stubborn woman she remembered? She never let him care for her, cherish her. Their lives together could have been even happier if she had learned to be content with what Daniel—and Gott—provided for her. She shied away from the thought that perhaps their lives together could have been longer if she hadn’t insisted that he expand the farm. How had Daniel ever put up with her? How did Gott ever put up with her?

  She stole a glance at Bram and caught him watching her, a quiet smile on his face. Ja, she could get used to this.

  When they arrived in LaGrange, Bram drove Partner to a hitching rail in the shade on the courthouse square. Their footsteps echoed in the vast entrance of the limestone building, cool and dark after the blazing sunshine. Bram found the tax office, and Ellie signed the papers while he handed the money to the clerk.

  Bram shepherded them outside again and steered them to a bench on the shady lawn.

  “Now I think we need to do some shopping.”

  “Ja, I hoped we could stop at a grocer’s.”

  Bram cleared his throat, watching the children as they played a hopping game on the cement walk. “I was thinking of a dry-goods store.”

  “I don’t need anything there.”

  “I think you do.”

  Ellie thought of the few coins in her pocketbook. Some baking soda, flour and the chocolate would use all her money.

  “Bram,” she said, lowering her voice so the children wouldn’t hear, “I only brought enough to buy the groceries I need.”

  “You need a new dress.” His lowered voice matched hers, and he held her gaze with his own.

  He was right, of course. The brown one she was wearing had been mended many times, but it would still do. The children’s clothes came first when she had money to spend on fabric.

  “I don’t need a new dress, even if I could afford it.”

  “Ellie, let me buy you the material. Enough for Susan, too.”

  Her face flushed hot as she glanced at Susan playing tag with Johnny. The little girl’s dress was much too short. Watching her, Ellie knew she had lost the argument, but only part of it.

  “I’ll let you loan me some money for a new dress for Susan.”

  “Enough for both of you. And it’s not a loan. It’s a gift.”

  Ellie started shaking her head.

  “Ellie, please.” His eyes were pleading. “I have more than enough money. Let me do this.”

  A cold thought fluttered in the back of her mind. His money again. She was coming to depend on him too much.

  He lifted her hand from her lap and held it entwined in his solid, capable fingers. He leaned close to her, letting Danny pat his short beard.

  “Let me take care of you.” His whisper was carried off on the breeze, but not before it reached her ears.

  Tears stung her eyes as his words destroyed any argument she had left. She nodded without speaking.

  * * *

  Bram glanced in the window
s of the empty building next to the dry-goods store as they came back onto the sidewalk. Another closed bank was a common enough sight these days, but this one meant he didn’t have to worry about Kavanaugh showing up here. He could relax his guard a bit and enjoy the day.

  The stop in the store had been a success. He had persuaded Ellie to choose several pieces of fabric. One was green, perfect for weekdays, and another was a deep blue that matched her eyes. That would be for Sundays. A couple lengths of black and white for aprons and other necessities hadn’t been hard to convince her to add in. He had also bought a new straw hat for Johnny and one for himself.

  “If I cut carefully,” Ellie said, her eyes glowing, “I’m sure I can make some shirts for Johnny and Danny out of the blue. And there is enough of the green to make dresses for both Susan and myself.”

  Bram had never seen Ellie so animated. If he had known new fabric would make her this happy, he would have made this trip weeks ago.

  When they reached the buggy, he checked on Partner while Ellie helped Johnny put the bundles in the back of the rig. He wasn’t ready to take them home. Ellie would immerse herself in her work again, and he’d have to make another round of the nearby towns, looking for some sign of Kavanaugh. There must be something he could do to make this day last longer.

  Activity at the drugstore caught his eye. Ja, a lunch counter would be a wonderful-gut treat for Ellie and the children.

  He took Danny from Ellie’s arms and stopped her before she climbed in the buggy. “Are you ready for lunch?”

  “Lunch? I didn’t pack anything. I thought I would make dinner at home.”

  He pointed toward the drugstore and then reached for Susan’s hand. “There’s a lunch counter over here. Have you ever eaten at one?”

  “You mean buy a meal?”

  Her voice was incredulous. If she only knew how many hundreds of meals he had eaten at lunch counters just like this one.

  “Ja, buy a meal. I’m sure the egg-salad sandwiches here are almost as good as yours.”

  She looked at him with suspicion. “You’ve never tried one of mine, so how do you know?”

  Bram laughed at this. “Let’s just go in and eat.”

  Watching Ellie enjoy the new experience of eating out made everything he had done to earn that money worth it. Johnny and Susan swung their legs as they sat on their stools at the counter eating their hot dogs while Danny ate bits of a grilled cheese that Ellie cut up for him. She had been nervous at first, but she had relaxed at her first bite of a chicken-salad sandwich.

  To top off the treat, Bram ordered ice-cream cones. He was sure Johnny’s eyes would pop when the clerk handed his to him. Life didn’t get much better than this.

  The final stop was at the grocer’s around the corner from the drugstore. Ellie bought her supplies, and Bram filled a box with groceries for himself, making sure he bought plenty of sugar. Ellie was probably using sorghum in everything she baked, since sugar was expensive. He’d slip the sack into her box later.

  Finally, Bram couldn’t put it off any longer. Their errands were done, and the tired look on the children’s faces told him it was time to go home. As Bram led them to the buggy still tied at the courthouse, he exchanged a glance with Ellie. Was this what a family was supposed to feel like? He would give anything for more days like this one.

  Out of habit, he scanned the streets surrounding the square while he boosted the children into the back of the rig. LaGrange was a much smaller town than

  Goshen, in the next county over. There were a few cars and several buggies, but the county seat wasn’t crowded.

  Then Bram saw it. A maroon Packard purred up State Road 9 from the south and passed by just half a block away. The fragile buggy was all that stood between Bram and the car, and his stomach plummeted to his feet just the same as if he had been standing exposed on the curb as the car drove slowly by. He gripped the sides of the buggy with cold fingers as he watched the Packard cruise through the small town, then on to the north.

  “Bram, are you all right?”

  The black tunnel of his vision cleared. Ellie was staring at him, and all three children looked at him with solemn faces. He took a deep breath, forcing his fingers to release their hold.

  “Ja, I’m all right. Just thought I saw someone I knew.”

  Ellie kept her eyes on him but didn’t say anything more. That worry line had shown up again.

  Bram turned Partner toward the south, heading down Hawpatch Road before turning west, toward the Stoltzfus farm. His mind raced, matching the pace of his heart. If he took a roundabout way, there was a chance they’d be able to get home before Kavanaugh found them.

  He worked the reins in his sweaty hands, trying to get a better grip. He felt like swearing, but the words stuck in his throat. He had let his guard down and had made the fatal error of underestimating Kavanaugh. Worse yet, Ellie and the children were in danger. He was trapped by his own stupid mistake.

  Glancing behind them at the empty road, Bram adjusted the reins again and took a deep breath, forcing himself to relax.

  He had panicked, and panic was deadly. Kavanaugh, if it was Kavanaugh, hadn’t seen him. He gave himself a mental shake and checked the road again. He just had to get Ellie and the children home safely.

  * * *

  Ellie watched Bram as he leaned forward on the buggy seat, the reins tight in his hands, his jaw set. What could have gone wrong this time? Ellie cast her mind back over the morning, but she couldn’t think of anything that would have made Bram angry. It had been a fun family outing.

  Catching her breath at this thought, she turned her face to the dusty roadside. With Bram beside her, she could pretend they were a complete family. How could she have let him worm his way this far into their lives...into her heart? Bram had been honest with her, letting her know his future plans. He wasn’t Amish, in spite of his upbringing. He had turned his back on the Amish once, and he would do it again as soon as his work here was done. He wasn’t a man she could count on being there for her children. He wasn’t a man to fall in love with.

  She turned to check on the children in the back of the buggy. Susan had fallen asleep, lying on the narrow seat. Johnny sat beside her, his new hat on his head, watching the roadside. His face was the picture of

  little-boy contentment. She had grown used to his sullen expression and downturned eyes, but ever since Bram had taken him into that ball game, Johnny had been a different boy. Bram’s attention had brought back the boy she knew before Daniel’s accident.

  Danny sighed on her lap and turned his sleeping, sweaty face upward. She leaned closer to him to catch his sweet baby scent. Why did they have to grow up?

  A sudden thought stopped her. Danny would grow up, and he would never have any memories of his father, only the stories she could tell him. Susan had been so young—did she remember anything about Daniel? And Johnny’s memories were already blurred. He told stories of going fishing with his father, or traveling with him, but Ellie knew he had never done those things. Daniel was just a dream to him.

  Ellie would never forget her husband, his plans. He had longed to give his children the home he had never known as an orphan, handed off from relative to relative until he ended up with Hezekiah and Miriam. His only goal had been for his children to know a life he had never lived, but now she was the only one left to keep his dreams and his memory alive.

  Her mind flitted over the morning. Bram had been so loving and caring, making the children laugh at his jokes and surprising them with ice cream. The memories of Daniel she tried to keep fresh for her children would never bring them the same joy.

  Bram turned in the seat and took a long look down the empty road behind them. When he turned back to the front again, his jaw was clenched. Maybe he regretted taking them to town and the time it had taken from his work. Whatever it was, he was acting as i
f this morning had never happened. Was it something she had done that brought this change?

  “Denki,” she said. Her voice felt muffled in the hot air.

  Bram turned to look at her, his body jerking as if he had forgotten she was there.

  “Denki for what?” His words were clipped, sharp. Was he angry? She really didn’t know him well enough to tell.

  “Denki for driving us to LaGrange, and for the material...and for lunch...” Her voice faltered. He wasn’t listening.

  Bram nodded, his eyes hard, and then he turned and chirruped Partner into a faster trot, although the horse was already covered with sweat.

  “Bram, I’m not in a hurry to get home.”

  He looked at her again, then behind them. His face was a blank, stony mask. He licked his lips and glanced behind them once more.

  “Ja, you’re right.” He pulled Partner to a walk but shifted in his seat with a restless kick of his feet against the dashboard.

  Would he tell her what was wrong? She had to know if she had done or said something to make him act like this. It had happened before, this abrupt change from tender and attentive to hard and angry.

  Trusting Gott was one thing; she could rest in His all-powerful care. But trusting a man? Ellie glanced at Bram’s face, still hard and closed. He looked back at her, and his eyes softened. Without a word he transferred the reins to one hand and put the other on top of her hands enfolding Danny. He gave them a gentle squeeze while the corners of his mouth turned up in a reassuring smile.

  Ja, she could trust this man.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Susan and Danny were both still sleeping when they reached the Stoltzfus farm, and Johnny’s head was nodding.

  “I’ll carry Susan in for you.” Bram followed Ellie into the Dawdi Haus. She nodded toward the bedroom on the left as she took Danny into the other one. The dim room was cool after the brassy sunshine, and Bram laid the little girl on the bed with the blank-faced doll leaning against the pillow.

  Johnny followed them and crawled up on the other side of the bed, his eyes closed already. Bram took the boy’s new straw hat off his head and smoothed the brown curls. Johnny’s face was flushed but peaceful. No cares troubled him.