For The Love of Ash

by Taylor Lavati

  "I know."

  I stood up and adjusted my pants so they were back on. I sat up on the couch and ran my hands through my hair, pulling on them as I realized what I was doing. I fixed my belt back in its spot.

  "I had a really awesome day with you," Maggie said as she too sat up. She threw just her shirt over her head and hugged me from behind, her minty breath against my neck.

  "I did, too." I turned and kissed just the tip of her nose.

  Chapter Thirty

  Maggie

  I was attempting to fix Asher's mask when the doorbell rang. Asher had always been a hockey player for Halloween, but this year, I was able to convince him to be something else. I told him, "You're a hockey player in real life. For Halloween, you have to be something you're not. Play dress up."

  So of course, he decided to be StarLord from Guardians of the Galaxy. I found an awesome costume, and by awesome I mean freaking Comic Con level perfection, but it was over a hundred dollars.

  The past three weeks, Ash and I had been hunting down the perfect costume for him. As I looked at him now, I couldn't help but be proud of my handiwork.

  I had to buy the mask, but I found it on Amazon for pretty cheap. We made the maroon jacket by using a coat that I found at Kohl's and fake pleather pants that I found at our local Party Depot. I used black Sharpie to copy a picture I found online so it matched the designs from the movie.

  I bought a stupid Nerf gun that Asher was a little upset over, but he looked perfect. I stepped backwards and looked him up and down, fixing his mask again so it laid perfectly over his nose. The doorbell rang again.

  "Go get it," I told Ash as I continued to finish my costume. Since Ash was Star Lord, I decided—let me rephrase that, Ash decided—that I needed to be Gamora.

  I didn't do anything too fancy since we'd only be walking through Janet's neighborhood. I just put on a pair of yoga pants, a green long-sleeved shirt and black elbow-length gloves. I curled the ends of my hair and used some one-dollar spray dye I found at the party store to make the ends red, like she had in the movie.

  "Oh. My. God." I couldn't hold back my laughter as Luke walked up the stairs. Since we were going with the whole Guardians of the Galaxy theme, Ash decided that Luke needed to be Rocket.

  "Shut it, Sunny. You're lucky I like you so much." He lunged for me and lifted me over his back. I was hysterically laughing as he dropped me down to my feet in the hallway.

  "Doesn't he look awesome?" Ash said as he touched Luke's, or should I say, Rocket's tail.

  "Do I have to wear the mask?" Luke asked as he pulled it off his face and positioned it on the top of his head.

  "That's the best part!"

  I had to splurge for Luke's outfit. I found this awesome jumpsuit online, and perfectly, it came in a size extra-large. It was furry at the arms and ankles, the rest a light orange plastic, almost identical to the one from the movie. But the mask made the costume.

  It covered Luke's entire face. It was a regular raccoon with holes for the eyes. Its smile was sinister, highlighted with a black marker. But the back of the head was furry, the same fabric as the arms.

  I honestly couldn't believe that he did it. I wasn't going to lie to myself. It was a bit of a test to see if he could actually do it. And I was happy to say that he did. It made me proud to have him as my boyfriend.

  "Ash. Go get ready. We're leaving in five minutes." When I heard his feet trample down the stairs, I pressed forward and kissed Luke on the lips. His arms immediately encapsulated me, turning us and pinning me against the wall.

  "I'm ready!" Ash said, and Luke and I separated as fast as we could move. I smiled as I saw Ash at the bottom of the steps and turned towards my room to get my bag.

  Luke and Ash were chatting by the door, some debate on whether Groot was the best character or not when I walked back downstairs. I smiled at them and grabbed Asher's hands as we followed Luke to his truck.

  Luke parked his car at the address that Janet texted me. Her place was beautiful and exactly like I expected—a mini-mansion right on the water. She had decorated each window with green and purple lights, spiders and pumpkins littering her front lawn.

  "Wow. Look Ash," I said, pointing to their front porch. There was a mummy with red glowing eyes and a fake black cat by his feet. The head of the cat moved, and every few seconds, the mouth dropped open, revealing a red tongue.

  "Awesome!" Ash said. The second Luke turned off the car, Ash jumped out of the back seat and ran for the door. I waited for Luke and then followed. Luckily, Ash waited for us before he knocked.

  "Welcome!" Janet swung open the door and revealed a party-like atmosphere. I was under the impression that it was just going to be us walking our kids around the block, but I was monumentally mistaken.

  "Monster Mash" was playing in the background. The lights were all dimmed, with strange black lights lighting the way through the foyer. Janet was dressed as a witch, her dark hair teased to the extreme with a triangle hat on top. She had on a long black dress with a corset-style front that had lime green ribbons crisscrossing up the bodice.

  "I'm so glad you all could come," she said as we walked inside. I looked beside me, and Ash was already gone.

  "I didn't know there were going to be so many people," I said as I took it all in.

  "Oh! I'm sorry. I hope it's not a problem. I do this every year. The kids love it." She looked behind her and saw the kids all gone. "I've got alcohol, too, for the parents. Feel free to mingle. There are a couple parents from the team. Or just hang. We'll go trick-or-treat in an hour or so with the group."

  "All right, sounds good," I said as I started to mess around with my gloves. I was nervous with all the people around. I didn't know how to interact with other parents. I didn't think they'd believe me.

  Luke grabbed one of my hands and squeezed it tight. We walked down the hallway, following Janet into the large kitchen lined in white cabinets. He leaned close to my ear and whispered, "Stop freaking out, Sunny." I looked up and smiled. He knew me too well.

  We mingled for a little while, Luke doing most of the talking. He acted the part as he spoke about Asher and me, pretending that we were his family. The more he spoke, the more I saw a future that could actually work. For a second, I was hopeful, but it frightened me. I didn't want to be hopeful. It would only make the possible hurt that much worse if I was let down.

  "Want to go walk around back? I heard there's a pool."

  I nodded and let Luke drag me through the back door. It was finally quiet and much less stuffy out there.

  "Thank you," I said to him as he hugged me close. I circled my arms around him and let myself just enjoy his company. He was warm in an otherwise chilly night. The backyard was dark, but the pool lights were on. Little lanterns lined the perimeter of the patio, showing us just how big it was. This place would be awesome in the summer.

  "For what?" he asked back.

  "Being so awesome back there. I hate talking to people."

  "So I've discovered." He looked down at me and held onto my gaze. I saw the desire in his heated glare, and I felt the arousal in my gut. I cut his hold and looked behind us, paranoid that Asher would catch us.

  I didn't know if Asher had caught onto what was happening between Luke and me. I hoped that he hadn't because if Luke were to leave, I didn't want Asher to know. I didn't want to bring more drama into Ash's life, and a new relationship always brought some sort of chaos.

  "I'm going to kiss you now."

  I nodded, and he acted.

  His lips covered mine. My hands found their way around his waist and up towards the top of his spine. I dragged my nails down his back as his tongue met with mine and swirled within me.

  I moaned into his mouth, and his hands squeezed my ass. I wanted more. I finally thought that I was ready to move forward. Of course, not right this second, but still. I trusted Luke, and I wanted to let him in fully.

  "Ahem." Someone cleared her throat from behind us. Immediately, I pulled
back and wiped the wetness from my mouth. "We're heading out now," Janet said, her voice full of humor.

  A hand on my shoulder woke me up. I startled, jumping in my seat and trying to figure out what was happening. It was pitch black, and there was a low rumble in the background. I wiped the back of my hand over my eyes and waited for them to adjust to the darkness.

  "Did I pass out?" I asked Luke as I saw that we were still in his truck.

  "You and your guy back there." He pointed back towards Ash. I followed his thumb and saw Asher sprawled out across the entire bench, the seatbelt straining against his slumped-over body. His head rested on his pillowcase of candy, a perfect cushion.

  "Great," I muttered as I gathered my bag and prepared to grab Asher and carry him upstairs. I opened the door and jumped down, my arms immediately prickling with goose bumps in the cool windy air.

  I leaned into the back seat and tried to get Asher free without waking him up. It was only nine, but we had walked for a while, and the excitement of the night got to him. Plus, I was sure he was crashing from his sugar high of all the candy he snuck tonight.

  "Will you just let me, already?" Luke asked as he placed his hand on the small of my back. I nodded and stepped backwards. "Take the bags for me?" he asked as he held Asher's goodie bag and my purse. I took them from him and waited as he lifted Asher into his arms.

  I shut the back door as Luke cradled Ash in his arms. I got the door for him as he walked up the front stoop. Finally, Luke deposited Asher in his bed.

  "I'll meet you downstairs," I told him as I started to get Asher ready for bed. Luke nodded and then left me alone with my guy. His outfit was easy to get rid of. I pulled the jacket off him and untied his black boots. His mask was already gone, the toy gun long discarded.

  "I love you," I whispered in his ear as I pulled the covers over him, all the way to his chin.

  "Do you love Mr. Wilson?"

  My breath hitched at the question. "What?"

  "You kissed him. Do you love him?"

  "I don't think so." I tried to answer as honestly as I could.

  "Well, I like him. He's my favorite teacher in the whole school. He should be your boyfriend." Asher seemed more awake so I sat down at the edge of his bed.

  "That wouldn't upset you?" I asked him.

  "Most moms have a husband. But I know a boyfriend turns into a husband, so it has to start like that, right?"

  "Yeah, that's how it starts."

  "So, he should be your boyfriend."

  "I'll think about it," I told him as I stroked his already long hair.

  "Love you," he muttered as he turned over in the bed.

  "I love you, too."

  "You love me the most?" he questioned.

  "Of course. You never have to ask that. I will always love you the mostest in the entire world," I promised. He smiled and then shut his eyes. I turned off his bedside table lamp and flicked on the nightlight in the hallway. I shut his door and then walked downstairs, shedding my long gloves along the way.

  I found Luke in the kitchen, boiling some water on the stove. I stepped behind him and wrapped my arms around his toned waist. He chuckled and turned so we were facing each other.

  "I can do this," I said, nodding.

  "Do what exactly?"

  "Us. I can handle it. I want to give you all of me."

  "Wait a second." He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back. "What changed? Just today you were looking over your shoulder, nervous about Ash seeing us. I told you I don't mind slowing us down."

  "Ash saw us kissing, I guess. He wanted to know if I loved you and if you were my boyfriend. I guess we suck at hiding things."

  "He didn't care?" Luke asked.

  "No. He said most moms have a dad. Not that I expect you to marry me or anything. God, sorry. That's way too fast," I said, my cheeks heating. I didn't want to completely freak him out. Although he had to know that that was the end game here. I wasn't looking for a one-time fling.

  Luke didn't say anything, just took my face between his hands and kissed me passionately. But there was a storm behind his eyes.

  For the first time in forever, I looked forward to the rest of my life. I had hope for a full life with a relationship and Asher and a perfectly balanced harmony between the two. I believed in myself.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Maggie

  June: Can we talk before class?

  Maggie: Are you actually coming?

  June: Please.

  Maggie: Sure. Let me know when.

  I was nervous to speak with June because the last time we did, she was reaming me over Luke. I could understand why. She was trying to protect Asher, but she wasn't even listening to what I had to say. She misplaced her relationship with her parents and acted like I was just like them, choosing a relationship over the child.

  She hadn't been to class in a long time, and I knew that I was to blame. She was avoiding me well, but I guessed it was time to finally clear the air. I hated drama and it felt like lately, that's all my life brought.

  I pulled up to Western thirty minutes before our class started and saw her on the green bench just outside of the doors. I pulled my pack of cigarettes from the side compartment of my backpack.

  "Hey," I said as I lit up.

  "Hey." Her head was down, looking at the rain-stained concrete. I sat across from her even though right next to her was clear. I wanted there to be space in case the conversation went south.

  "Where have you been?"

  "I had to get away for a little bit. Listen, I was an asshole to you. It's your life, and as your friend, I should've been supportive instead of putting you down." She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, and my hard exterior shattered.

  "I was struggling with the same thing," I told her as I exhaled a drag. "I wanted to be happy, but I didn't know how to juggle my life with Asher's. I still don't know."

  "You're not like my parents, and I shouldn't have projected my fears onto you. Luke's a good guy. You deserve happiness just like Ash does."

  "Thanks, June. I'm glad you came back. You're one of my only friends. I would've hated to lose you."

  "Ditto, girl." Her posture immediately changed, from slumped over to back straight, from defeated to confident. "So, are you with Luke now?"

  "I think so. Ash gave him the nod of approval, so I'm seeing how it goes."

  "I definitely am taking credit for that."

  "What?"

  "I sort of introduced you two."

  "Right…" I shook my head at her. "So, where'd you go?"

  "I told you I live with my parents, right?" I nodded as I flicked my cigarette off to the side, and exhaled away. "They kicked me out because they found weed in my bedroom. I stayed with a guy I knew from rehab, got wrapped up in some shit, and then came back."

  "I want to ask what happened, but I won't. I'm just glad you came back."

  "Me too…I really am sorry, for everything. And letting it drag on so long."

  "Don't worry about it. I understand where you were coming from."

  My grandparents lived two hours away in southern Mass. I hated having to go visit them, but it was part of my conditions to keep custody of Asher—once a month visits. Last month was just wonderful, so I figured this time could only improve.

  Their mansion was cold and hard, like a classy jail that you couldn't escape. This was my hell and as I knocked on the door, I held my breath, wishing to pass out rather than see them right now.

  "Grandchildren, how lovely," Margo said. She was in another pant suit, only this time it was black—like her soul. The blazer was three-quarter-length sleeved, and she wore a white button up underneath it.

  Asher squeezed my hand as Margo swung the door open and stepped back. I plastered a fake smile on my face as I stepped into hell, dragging poor Asher behind me. Asher didn't resent Margo like I did. But he saw the way she treated me, and he began forming his own opinions.

  "I've made us a wonderful afternoon brunc
h. Come, follow me." She didn't even give us an option. We had stopped at McDonald's on the way, so I wasn't hungry in the slightest.

  We followed Margo through the kitchen and out onto her glassed-in patio. She had a large six-person table in the center made entirely of white stone. Chairs that matched the pattern circled it, with sage cushions on top.

  Margo sat at the head to the left, and Ash and I sat as far away as we could on either side, across from each other. Annie, their maid/server/cook/driver, entered the room with a tray of finger sandwiches and a pitcher of clear liquid.

  "Hey, Annie," I said as she placed the tray in the center of the table. Annie smiled politely at me but didn't answer me back. I knew it was because Margo was there.

  A few summers back, when I was in high school, I was forced to spend my spring break here. My parents were busy closing deals in Japan. Due to the expansive grounds place, I barely ever had to see my grandparents and instead spent my break getting drunk with Annie and sneaking boys into the guest house.

  Annie was about six years older than me, but we got along well. She smuggled in the Dubra, and I called my favorite boys of the week for us both. Looking back, she was being pretty irresponsible. But it was the best spring break I ever had. She treated me with respect and included me on her adventures. She accepted me for me. I considered Annie to be a friend despite the fact that we hadn't talked in a long time.

  "Margaret, how are your studies?" Margo asked as she lifted a cucumber sandwich to her mouth. I watched Annie nod and scamper away. I brought my attention back to Margo and saw she had a different glass than the rest of us, the liquid slightly yellow.

  "They're going really great. I like my classes, and I think I'm doing well."

  "You should know if you're doing well." She might as well have wagged her finger at me. I didn't even bother to answer. I reached across the table, grabbed two mini sandwiches, and placed them on my empty plate. I figured if I stuffed my face then I wouldn't have to talk to her.