by Kasey Lane
Besides the wide-eyed surprise on Smith’s face was worth all of it. Heck even if she had to go back on the road as essentially a modern-day indentured servant, it would be worth it. And, really, she wasn’t childish enough to believe that being a music star and having fans was anything less than amazing. She would deal with the anxiety and pressure. She would make the best of it by making good music and sharing it with the world. And when she was done she could go back home and fight for her marriage and her place on their farm.
Because that’s what the farm and Blackberry Cove were…they were home. And Damian—he was the center of it. She missed him so much, and for a moment she was struck by just how very much she wished he were there by her side. His tall strong body sitting beside her right then would go a long way toward shoring up her flagging confidence. And loneliness.
“Reckless is in business to make money. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful I got to be part of that for a while. But I’m a product. I know that. The way I see it is that I have one of two options. Option one I pay you the money I owe for the advance and you let me out of my contract. The other option is I record another album and go on tour to support it therefore providing me the opportunity to earn the advance back.” She looked around the table at a group of faces that were seconds away from calling her new tough-guy bluff and demanding the money before showing her to the door.
“At this point, Ms. Kelly, we’d prefer you to record another album and then support it.”
“I appreciate your honesty. However, that means I go on the road and do interviews and media spots.”
“Correct.”
“What if I would prefer to not do that and just pay back the advance and call it a day?” she asked noticing they had omitted that possibility.
“That’s no longer an option,” Mr. Smith said, attempting to close the door on her walking away.
Her hands grew clammy in her lap and she resisted the almost overwhelming urge to rub them on her clothes. Instead she kept her fingers flat on her legs, even keeping herself from tapping her finger on her wrist. Fidgeting would be tantamount to showing her fear and then they’d go in for the kill.
“It is though. I have the amendment to my contract in writing, therefore it remains an option.” She could tell they hadn’t expected her to fight back or, at least, explore all the possibilities when they all stared at their notebooks and flipped pages. Their assumption had been that she’d gratefully do what they requested. That was the behavior her rep had seen from her time and time again. And, of course, it probably didn’t matter because she didn’t have the money, but she did want to know what was possible going forward.
“We’re prepared to offer you extended points for recording and touring in addition to clearing your advance.” And they showed their hand right then and there. They wanted her on the road. They wanted new music from her.
“That’s very generous, however, I’m not quite sure I want to go back on the road.” That had been fine before, but now they looked apoplectic as if she’d turned down a ten-carat diamond engagement ring. “I’d like to take the rest of the day to think about it. Can we reconvene tomorrow morning?”
“Of course. Although can you give us a feel for what you’re thinking and your direction moving forward?” Mr. Smith asked.
“No, I can’t.” And that was the truth. Kendall Kelly knew what she wanted, but had no idea what she was going to do or how to get it. She suspected what she really wanted was too far out of reach and wasn’t hers to claim any longer and that thought had her ending the meeting and running for the bathroom where she promptly dry heaved the sandwich they’d had brought in for lunch.
Chapter Thirteen
Damian heard the car pull up and the door slam before his mother’s voice called from the open door of his office.
“Damian Sloane, what the hell are you doing here?” Well, he hadn’t expected to see her so soon again. Although he did still need to make plans to meet for dinner. Damian was serious about trying to repair his severely degraded relationship with his mother.
Damian looked up from signing the last check of the week, glad to have the bills done. “Hello to you too, Mom. Please, why don’t you come in?” He motioned to the only other chair in the room. He hid his smile when his normally calm mother stomped into the dusty farm office and stood in front of his desk glaring down at him.
“Is there something I can help you with?” he asked, folding his checkbook and placing it into his backpack on the floor. “Or are you here to reschedule our dinner?”
“Why are you still here and not with Kendall in Los Angeles?” she asked ignoring his question and sighing dramatically before flopping into the old chair. For the first time since she’d walked in he realized she wasn’t nearly as perfectly put together as Dr. Sloane usually was. Her hair was pulled back in a haphazard ponytail and she was wearing some kind of lounging workout suit.
“Mom, what’s going on?” He pushed his chair back from the desk and kicked his legs out, crossing them at the ankles. “How did you know Kendall was in Los Angeles?”
“She called me about an hour ago.” Nothing his mother could have said would have surprised him more. “Also, I left your father.” Except perhaps that.
“Whoa. Okay. Let’s start with leaving Dad. What happened?” Because that was easier than talking about Kendall. The searing pain of her walking out on him early this morning still sat hot and jagged in his chest. The look on her face when she called him a coward frozen into his brain.
“Let’s not start there. Let’s start with your marriage, which is salvable—unlike mine, which isn’t.”
“Fine.”
“Yes, fine. Here’s the thing, son, I’ve made so many mistakes, too many to count or recall so I’m here now to tell you: do not be like me. And certainly don’t be like your father. Be you, Damian, be the man who knows what’s right and what he wants. And then go get it. Go get her. She needs you there. She needs someone to run after her for once and bring her home.”
“I wasn’t so sure, Mom. I was too afraid to let her back in and now she’s gone.”
“She said she left you a message.” His mom’s face lit with expectation. Despite her disheveled appearance, she seemed calm now, unlike her ambush moments ago when she’d barreled up to him.
He nodded and rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “She did.” He had listened to it as soon as he saw it, but the connection had been too garbled to understand it. Nevertheless he’d made flight arrangements and wrapped up his work so he could go be with her. “It was too hard to understand.”
“But you’re going?”
“Yes,” he said simply. “What did she say to you?”
His mother sighed again, the kind of deep sigh that only a long-suffering mother can make. “She told me where she was. That she still had another meeting tomorrow at ten. And she wanted to know my medical opinion of the utter baloney her grandmother had told her.”
Damian had completely forgotten about Kendall’s fears that she might pass on some kind of mystery drug addiction illness to their children. But she hadn’t forgotten. In fact, in her mind it was the justification she’d needed to give in to her fear and run.
“I told her that her grandmother was a cruel woman, much like my own husband, who took hostages instead of having relationships with other humans. That it was very unlikely that anything that woman ever told her was the truth. And that she should live her life and have a family.”
He bowed his head and thanked the universe as relief flooded his body. Because it had never mattered to him, but it did to Kendall. “Thank you, Mom.” Damian stood and moved toward his mother. Placing his hands around her upper arms he pulled her from her chair and wrapped her in his arms. “Thank you,” he said again as his mother buried her head in his chest and he felt soft sobs wrack her body.
After a few minutes he kissed the top of her head and asked, “Did you kick Dad out?”
She shook her head. “I left.
I couldn’t justify his behavior anymore. I couldn’t pretend I still loved him when I didn’t. And I couldn’t come to you and push you to follow your heart if I didn’t do the same.” She patted his arm and pulled back. “When do you leave?”
He’d already finished giving his staff their instructions for the next couple days, putting Coleman in charge of the farm and Samantha in charge of production and the shop. They were a well-oiled team that would work the farm and business seamlessly.
He glanced at the clock on the wall. “I should probably get out of here in a couple minutes. But first…” Damian pulled open the drawer of a filing cabinet and pulled out a metal box. He unlocked the box and dug around for something before presenting his mother with a key. “This is the key to the main house here. It’s in a bit of disarray because we’ve been working on it, but you are welcome to stay there for now.” Although if he had his way, he’d come home with his wife and make the old farmhouse their home, and his mom would be welcome to stay in the cottage indefinitely.
His mother started to refuse, but he held up a hand. “Mom, it’s okay to say ‘yes.’ When I get back we’ll move your stuff in. You’ll need to get some food, but you’re welcome to stay as long as you want. Do you have a bag with you?”
His mother reached out and took the key with one hand and patted his cheek with the other. “I do. I didn’t screw up so badly, did I? At least my boys are good men.”
“Not sure about that, Mom. I was a dick to Kendall. I thought I was protecting myself, but she was right. I’m a coward. This time she was the brave one and I let her down. Maybe I always have. I mean, I was the one left behind, right? The wounded and abandoned husband. The only time I went after her I ended up leaving when I saw her up on that stage.”
“You didn’t know any better. I don’t think I was any kind of example as a mother.”
“No. It wasn’t your fault. It was mine. I was afraid of what might happen if she came home with me. What if she realized that I wasn’t enough? What if she gave up her career and she ended up resenting me? And now she’s lost so much. Our time might have passed.” And the knife that had been sitting in his ribs since Kendall walked out the door again twisted in deeper.
“Oh honey, when I talked to her she sounded so sad, so lonely. She acted brave like she always does.” They both chuckled. That was Kendall, all right, putting up a fearless front no matter what. “But there was something hollow about our conversation.”
“I might be too late. I don’t know what I’m flying into. I don’t know what she wants or even if there’s any chance left for two broken people like us. But I’m going after her. Because that’s what she deserves.”
He had to try. He had to try and set them both free from this endless guilt and fear, even if that meant he didn’t get the girl.
*
Damian didn’t make his flight out to Los Angeles, nor did he make any other flight that night. A soup-like fog had rolled in making it impossible for prop planes to fly out of their small regional airport. After hours of debate with himself on whether or not he should call Kendall, he opted not to. It was too late and it would only complicate things further if he said he’d be there and then he didn’t make it. Or, even worse, if she told him not to come.
When morning finally rolled around and the fog dissipated, Damian had already been awake for hours. He boarded the plane looking just like a man who’d spent the night on the floor of the airport because the benches at the gate were too narrow for his big-ass body. And while only slightly less enthusiastic about getting to Kendall, he was concerned about how his sudden appearance at her meeting in his current state might look to both her and the label execs, so he’d called her and left a message.
He’d kept it to a simple Hey, sweetheart, I’m on my way. I’ll call you when I get in.
But by the time he’d landed and checked his phone for messages, the meeting had already started and he was at least forty-five minutes away, if he got lucky and didn’t hit traffic. He had two missed calls from Kendall but no voicemail. She did send a text with the address of the record label offices and another that said, See you soon xoxox.
Damian’s heart beat harder in his chest, so hard it felt like it might jump from his body. She wanted him there. Or, at the very least, she was resigned to his arrival. That was good.
Very good.
What wasn’t good was that he had no idea what her options were and if she’d be receptive to his plan, because he didn’t really know what she wanted. He’d replayed every conversation they’d had over the last couple weeks for any sign or hint at what Kendall wanted and he was still at a loss. She said she loved him. She even said she’d missed home and that life on the road had been harder than she’d expected. But did that add up to her wanting to move back home with him?
Damian wanted her to be happy. Not in some kind of trite martyring way where he could live out his days as the tragic hermit farmer of Blackberry Cove while she traveled all over the world as a famous entertainer. But the kind of happy that would give her roots and bring her joy. He would love her enough for the both of them. He would love her enough to let her go. For real this time.
When he pulled up to the building and took the elevator up to the correct floor his stomach was in knots. Doing the right thing was getting more and more complicated the later it got. The last thing he wanted to do was swoop into her meeting and make it worse and not better. But his need to stand by her and support her no matter what outweighed anything else.
So he took a deep breath and let the office assistant announce him into the meeting. Five sets of eyes stared at him as he stepped into the room. The knots in his stomach tightened and his heart beat faster because only one face, the one that mattered, smiled his way.
Kendall. His gorgeous, amazingly talented wife. And that was what he needed. He remembered why he was there and what he was supposed to do. He wasn’t out of his element, because she was his element.
After brief introductions around the table, Damian asked to speak with Kendall privately before they continued with the meeting.
“Mr. Sloane, we’re glad you could finally make it,” Kendall’s rep said. “However, we’re running short on time and are ready to conclude negotiations…which, of course, you’re welcome to observe.”
“Morgan, is it?” The rep nodded curtly. “I’ll respect your need to expedite these proceedings. But Kendall is without representation as she has neither an attorney or agent present, so I think it would be in your best interest if she takes a couple minutes to confer with me privately.” Kendall stared at him, her eyes narrowed and her jaw tight. Tough shit. She could do this all on her own. He knew that. But she didn’t have to. And that was the fucking point.
“Look, Mr. Sloane,” said the branch VP. “It’s great that you’re here, but Kendall is a professional. She doesn’t need her hubby to come to her rescue in a business meeting. So—”
“No she doesn’t. We are business partners though and what happens here affects our business as well so if you could give us a couple minutes, five tops, that would be appreciated.” Grumbling, all four executives left the room and gathered just outside the door before Damian shut it.
“What the hell was that show of testosterone, Damian?” Kendall stood and faced him. “I don’t need you to rescue me—”
“No you don’t. But I didn’t want you to have to do this alone,” he said reaching out to cradle her face.
“They can see you through the window…”
“Fuck them. I’m your husband, I’m allowed to touch you.” He stroked her cheek and moved his hand around to the back of her neck. “And I’m allowed to do this,” he said pulling her close and kissing her.
Without pulling away completely, Kendall looked up at him, her eyes watery and her cheeks flushed. “Why are you here, Damian?” she asked and bit her bottom lip. They both sat facing each other and he took her hands, surprised at the shake in them. Kendall was more nervous than she let on.
/> “To sit by your side and support you, no matter what.” It really was that simple. “What are your options?”
She squeezed his hands with her own and breathed deeply, the air lifting her long wispy bangs from her face. “They want me to record another album and tour.”
“What do you want to do?” Finally. This is where they were. At the question that would determine the course of their lives. “What will make you happy, Kendall? Really happy?”
“I want to be involved in music if I can, like writing or something. But I really just want to…I…I want…”
“What, baby, what do you want?” The knots in his stomach began to loosen, unfurling and changing into something else altogether. “I promise you that I won’t do anything to hold you back. I will support you and wait for you.”
He watched the shadows move over her face. She was still afraid of opening herself up and trusting him, afraid of rejection, so he leaned forward and took her face in his hands.
“I love you, Kendall Kelly. With every fucking cell in my body. I have belonged to you since I was seventeen. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going back to being bitter. You changed all that. You made me realize that what we had was special and unique. You are the one for me. The only one. Forever. And I want it to work, but I won’t sacrifice your happiness anymore. And if you need to tour, then go knowing that I support you in every way. And when you need me to come for you I will. But I need to tell you one other thing. I want to buy into Kelly Family Farms.”
Kendall frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“The farm is yours. It’s your heritage and it came from your family. I would like to give you the money to buy out your contract, if that’s what you want, or to do whatever you want with it. But I want it to be my buy-in.” He pulled out the envelope in his pocket and handed it to her. “I’m going to wait in the lobby for you. You finish your meeting and come to me.” He stood, kissed her cheek. “I love you.”