“No, of course not. It’s…admirable to be a ba’al tshuva. But he’s like…forcing it on the family. Shayna…the girl I was with…she came to the school about a year ago. Her father made her change her name from Shane to Shayna because it sounded more Jewish. She’s trying hard, but it’s…you know, new to her. She can barely read Hebrew. She misses her old friends from public school.” A pause. “You should understand.”
Decker did understand, but damn if he was going to give Yonkie any points. He asked, “Anything else?”
He tried to look at Decker, but his eyes didn’t quite make it to the face. He was trying to get a grip on himself, but his legs were shaking. “Well…if you wouldn’t tell Eema, I’d appreciate that also.”
“No go, Jacob. You’re her son. She has a right to know.”
The boy shrugged. “Okay.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Why my bedroom?”
The teen’s eyes stared about an inch over Decker’s shoulder. “The bed’s bigger.”
Decker forced the boy to make eye contact. “You violated my privacy, you violated your mother’s privacy. That was a rotten thing to do.”
“I’m sorry.” Water welled up in Jacob’s eyes. “It won’t happen again. I promise.”
Decker stood and pulled the kid toward him. The kid melted in the embrace. “Jacob, I don’t know where you’ve come up with this grinning idiot thing. Your mother and I have untold love and respect for you. But obviously, after today, we need to do some talking.”
He broke away, almost pushing Decker aside. “We weren’t doing anything.”
“Well, you were doing something—”
“It’s nothing compared to other kids I know.” He sank into his seat. Staring at the ceiling, he was quiet. Decker had no choice but to wait him out.
Finally, Jacob whispered, “There’s something wrong with me. I’m…I’m just…like…wired all the time.”
“Wired?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Aroused?”
He nodded, his eyes still upward. “I think about it constantly. I’m obsessed with it.”
“Sex?”
Jacob didn’t answer.
“It’s called being fifteen and male.”
“I don’t know…” Jacob shook his head. “Sammy’s not like that.”
“You’re not Sammy.”
The teen spoke haltingly, his eyes staring off in space. “One of the guys in my class got hold of some porno films about six months ago. We’ve been watching them every Motzi Shabbos…after his parents go out.”
The room fell silent.
Jacob went on, “I feel real sleazy doing it—some of them are really…disgusting—but I can’t stop.”
“You can’t? Or you don’t want to?”
He shrugged. “The thing is…all of the guys at school who are into girls…are also into booze and dope. They’re real jerks.” A beat. “They’re…idiots.”
“Who? Like Dovid? Steve?”
“Dovid, Steve, Ronnie, Joey…all of ’em.”
Decker waited.
Jacob again spoke slowly. “But the guys who are good students are…are like shomer negiyah—that means they don’t touch girls. Not that that’s bad. Sammy’s shomer negiyah.” A sigh. “It’s just in my class the religious guys are dorky…and real self-righteous. I can’t talk to them without feeling…dirty. So I hang around the jerks. I know it’s dumb. Because how long can you hang around jerks without turning into one?”
“They drink and take drugs?”
The boy nodded.
“What about you, Yonkie? Do you drink and take drugs?”
The boy looked away. “A few times. No big deal.” But as soon as he said it, he cringed.
Decker kept his face flat. He wasn’t all that surprised. It was always the quiet ones…“What did you do?”
“Nothing much. They pass it around while we watch…you know…”
“No, I don’t know.”
“I’ve taken a couple of hits—” He stopped himself. “Maybe more than a couple. But just pot. No big deal.”
Decker was quiet.
“I mean I’ve never even gotten like really buzzed. I mean maybe a little buzzed, but…just…you know—”
“No, I don’t know.”
Again, the boy looked up—anywhere but at Decker. “Funny thing is if I pass it up, nobody cares. I don’t have to use to be accepted. But I just feel like I should.”
“Why?”
“To belong. Except I don’t fit in anywhere. I’m too…too academic to be a head, and too…wired to be one of the little rabbis. I can pass through both groups without a problem. I’ve got lots of friends. I don’t know why I do stupid things. But I do them and…and later, I hate myself.”
He rubbed his face, made a swipe at his eyes.
“I keep thinking, like what if Eema saw me. It would hurt her so much.” He looked at Decker with plaintive eyes. “I know you have to tell her about this. But I really wish you wouldn’t.” His eyes widened as anxiety gripped his heart. “You’re not going to tell her about the pot. I told you that in confidence.”
Decker asked, “What do you think I should do?”
“Oh, God!” He tilted his chair back and regarded the ceiling, a defeated look stamped across his face. “What if I promise that I won’t do it again? Smoke dope, I mean.”
“Should I believe you?”
No one spoke. The kid seemed to be thinking about it, or at least, faking it out.
“I think you can,” Jacob answered. “I hope you can. Anyway, feel free to check up on me—go through my things…listen to my phone conversations. I know I’ll have to earn back my privacy.”
He was on the right track. Decker asked, “What about drinking, Yonkie? Do you drink, too?”
The boy became more animated. “Seriously, I don’t drink. I got drunk once when I slept over Steve’s house. I got so sick, I swore never again. I don’t drink. I mean I’ll drink wine on Shabbos. But I never drink just to drink.”
“That’s good.”
“So are you going to tell her? About the dope?”
Again, Decker forced the boy to make eye contact. “Well, Jacob, that’s up to you. If you prove yourself to be trustworthy, why should I distress your mother? But if I see an inkling of erratic behavior…son, I’m a cop. If you mess up, you’ll see just what a cop I can be.”
The boy nodded gravely. “Fair enough. That’s one of the good things about Shayna. If I’m around her, I’m not around them.”
“Are you two an item?”
“We’re…good for each other. Something to hold on to—literally.”
“Have you two had sex?”
Jacob shook his head no.
Decker peered into his eyes. “Are you lying to me, Yonkie?”
“No.” He sighed. “She made me promise to keep our underpants on. Actually, that’s okay with me. I couldn’t handle it…not yet. Not that I haven’t had opportunities. It’s a really…different world outside of the yeshiva. I guess I don’t have to tell you that.”
“Go on.”
“Just that there’re tons of girls out there who are really aggressive. You wouldn’t believe what they’ve said to me. Well, I guess you know. But Eema would be shocked out of her mind. In the last two months alone, I’ve had like five or six invitations to go over to houses when the parents aren’t home.”
“Girls from your high school?”
“No. Secular private or public school girls.”
“Shayna’s old friends?”
“Yeah, some of them are.”
“Are they Jewish?”
“Some yes, some no. Some are older than me. They’re real messed up. Divorces and affairs and all sorts of stuff. It’s sad. All I’m saying is compared to them, I’m a monk.”
“So you haven’t had sex, Yonkie? What about oral sex?”
“No…just…” He fidgeted. “How much detail ar
e you going to ask me?”
“Enough to make sure you’re not going to contract something that could kill you.”
Jacob looked away. “You can’t get AIDS if you’re a virgin.”
“That’s not true. If you don’t believe me, I’ll let you talk to a thirteen-year-old girl that Juvey pulled in last night. She’s wasting away from consumption and AIDS, and she swore up and down that she only did it to guys orally.”
Jacob was stunned. “Thirteen?”
“Yep.”
“Is she like…from a poor family or something?”
“Middle class. To quote from her mother, ‘She fell in with the wrong crowd.’”
Jacob was silent. “Is the girl HIV positive or does she have AIDS?”
“She has AIDS. But that really doesn’t matter. Her lungs are going to crash before her immune system.” Decker leaned over and put his hand on Jacob’s shoulder. The boy bristled, but didn’t pull away. “Don’t have sex. You’re way too young emotionally and physically. First times are often disasters. But if you’re older, you can handle it better.”
Jacob was quiet.
“Do you hear me, Yonkie?”
“Yes, I hear you.”
“But if you mess up, don’t be stupid. Wear a condom.”
“It’s against Jewish law.”
“Yonkie, I don’t know that law, but I do know it’s against Jewish law to endanger your health, let alone kill yourself. Don’t have sex. But if you do something impulsive, I don’t want you to die, or knock up some girl. You understand?”
Jacob nodded.
Decker said, “If you’re too embarrassed to buy condoms, I’ll do it for you. This does not mean I approve of the behavior. I don’t approve. All it means is I don’t want you to die.”
“I’m not going to need them.”
“But you’ll come to me if you do?”
The teen nodded. Then he appeared to really give Decker’s words some thought. “If something does…I’ll let you know. I promise.” For the first time, the boy initiated eye contact. “I’m really sorry.”
Decker stroked the boy’s cheek, then withdrew his hand. “Jacob, I want you to stop watching porno films. They only increase your arousal, and you have no outlet to bleed off your libido except masturbation. Now, I know that’s also against Jewish law. But I have no problem with it. It’s clean, it’s easy and it’ll keep you from going off the deep end. Even so, there’s no sense in feeding your sexual appetite. When your friends put on the flicks, walk out. Also, if you stop watching films, it’ll get you away from that crowd and force you to do healthier things.”
“Like hanging out at Nate’s Pizza Shop,” Jacob said drolly. “There’s a real riot.”
“After sex and drugs, I’m sure it seems mundane. But it’s what you should be doing. Or take Shayna out to the movies. Or go bowling—”
The kid rolled his eyes.
“Bowling’s fun,” Decker insisted.
“If you’re fat and forty and like to guzzle beer.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyway, if you saw what hung out at bowling alleys, you wouldn’t recommend it as an alternative behavior. You know, I used to do regular stuff. You used to take me riding every Sunday. Then you got rid of the horses—”
“We can’t keep the horses in the new house.”
“That’s not the point. We just don’t…do anything. We used to go ATVing in the mountains. You used to take me go-carting. You never even take me for a drive in the Porsche anymore. Since you got promoted, all you ever do is work or go fix up the new house.” A sigh. “Not that I’m blaming you for my stupid behavior. But I do miss—”
Decker’s beeper went off. Instinctively, he looked at the pager. The station house was calling him. His head was reeling, his stomach lurching. Responsibility was a leech that just wouldn’t quit. He said, “Go on.”
“No, go answer it,” the teen said with resignation.
“You’re more important. Go on.”
“I can’t talk if I know some kid out there is being raped. We can pick this up another time.”
But Decker knew they wouldn’t. Feeling crushed, he stood and went to the phone. “It shouldn’t take long.”
“Whatever.”
Decker punched in numbers on the phone. While he waited to be connected, he stole some juice and cold meatloaf from the fridge. A half-minute later, Marge came on the line.
“Got a call from the Order. There’s been an incident.”
Decker almost choked on his food. “Another body?”
“A missing body. One of its members—a young woman around nineteen or twenty. Her given name is Lauren Bolt, but she was renamed Andromeda by the Order. Her room is undisturbed, but she’s nowhere to be found. Pluto’s claiming she was kidnapped by one of our officers—”
“What?—”
“Who was paid off by the girl’s parents—”
“You’ve got to be kidding—”
“And the whole thing was coordinated by Reuben Asnikov—”
“The deprogrammer?”
“That’s the one. Pluto stated that he wouldn’t be surprised if Asnikov was behind Jupiter’s death. As far as he’s concerned, Asnikov planned the whole thing just to get the girl out. You know, ends justify the means. He claims that Asnikov is a ruthless, murdering bastard.”
Decker pulled out a notepad from his jacket. “When did all this happen?”
“We caught the call about ten minutes ago. Scott and I are on our way.”
“Secure the area with crime ribbon tape. No one goes in or out. Get a couple of uniforms to help you keep the area sealed off. And check the ID on everyone including the officers. Just on the rare off-chance that someone was actually impersonating one of us yesterday.”
Marge paused. “It’s happened before.”
“I know. Let’s hope Pluto’s being hysterical. If he isn’t, we’ve got a problem. Do you have the parents’ phone number and address?”
“We called. No one’s answering.”
“Anyone in the squad room from Homicide?”
“Bert and Tom came back around five minutes ago.”
“Do this for me. Send Bert Martinez over to the girl’s parents, and send Tom Webster over to talk to Asnikov.”
“Why? At the moment, Pluto’s accusations have no basis.”
“The girl’s parents need to be told about their daughter. She is missing. If they had a hand in it and it was against her will, then it’s kidnapping. If not, maybe they know something to help out the police. To Asnikov, go under the pretext of warning him that the Order is angry at him—”
“They are angry at him.”
“Then Webster’s job is legit. In the meantime, he can feel Asnikov out. See if he squirms. Although in his line of work, I doubt he sweats much.”
“When will you make it down to the Order?”
“Give me fifteen, twenty minutes. I’ve got to drive my son back to school.”
“Your son?”
“I’m at my house.”
“What’s your son doing there? Shouldn’t he be in school?”
“Don’t ask.”
Marge said, “See you in fifteen.”
Decker hung up and looked at Jacob, “Something came up. I’ve got to go.”
“The Ganz case?”
Decker stared at him.
Jacob said, “It’s all over the news.” The teen walked over to the corner and picked up his backpack, swinging it over his shoulder. Again, he ran his fingers through the front of his thick black hair. James Dean with a kepah. “Believe it or not, I’m interested in what you do.”
“I know.” Decker felt the pit of his stomach drop. “I realize I’ve been busy…too busy. The Daytona’s coming next month. How about if I get us some tickets—just you, me and Sammy?”
Jacob smiled. “Sounds great, but don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
Cutting to the quick. Decker was silent. Together they quickly left the house. Decker locked the front door while J
acob threw his backback into the unmarked. After they had both buckled up, the teen said, “Are you going to write me an excuse?”
“For cutting class?” Decker revved the motor and pulled out of the driveway. “Do you think I should?”
“No. But they’re going to want to know where I was.”
“Tell them you were at the house. I’ll vouch for that. But I’ll also tell them that you didn’t have my permission to cut school.”
He said, “I’ll probably get detention.”
“You’ll live.”
“No, I mean I’ll probably get detention instead of being suspended. You’re supposed to be suspended for cutting. But kids cut all the time. Half the time they don’t even get detention. Nobody even knows they’re gone.”
“Really organized school I send you to.”
“Don’t blame me.” Jacob fidgeted. “So…like am I grounded or what?”
Dying to get punished. It cleanses the soul. Or maybe it was a wish for some kind of attention. Decker said, “I want you to start coming to the new house with me. I’m putting dry wall up in the new bedroom. I can use another pair of hands.”
The boy grimaced. “Dad, I can’t screw in a lightbulb. I’ll be more harm than help.”
“So you’ll learn. Not just you, Jacob, Sammy, also. I’ve haven’t wanted to burden you two with your parents’ project. But I think that was a mistake.”
“I have lots of schoolwork over the weekend.”
“So budget your time. As far as Saturday night goes, you stay home and baby-sit Hannah for a month. After that, you’re on your own just as long as you stay away from pot, booze and porno. I think I’m being more than fair.”
“Yeah, actually it sounds pretty liberal.”
The remainder of the ride was silent. As Decker pulled up at the school’s curb, Jacob said, “You really like your job, don’t you.”
His first instinct was to downplay it. But after all this, Jacob was entitled to some honesty. “I like it very much. It’s stressful, but at least it’s not routine. I’m probably a little like you. I get bored easily.”
“Ain’t that the truth. Two and half hours of gemara. It’s…stultifying.” Jacob opened the door. “I wish I was like Sammy, and believed all the junk they throw at us. I’d be a lot happier. Trouble is, I just don’t buy most of it.” He slid out of the car. “We’ll pick this up later.” He smiled. “Over drywall.”
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