Homesmind

by Pamela Sargent

  "You are not a believer, then." Raef stared at her intently.

  "What is this Voice?"

  "You know what it is, girl," Raef said fiercely. "I *see it in your thoughts, even though you're burying it to hide it from yourself. It's the new star in the sky that grows larger with each passing night."

  Fiella gasped. Anra walled in her thoughts. Homes-mind knew; she had sensed that just as she closed her mind. Homesmind had guessed it before and had longed to hide the knowledge from Itself. The stranger in the sky had not been silent; its message had been clear to those willing to receive it. Homesmind was not seeking to save the Minds just for Earth's sake; It was trying to rescue the companions It would need in what might be Its last battle.

  That is true, Homesmind whispered as she opened her link to share her musings. I have thought of Myself as nearly limitless. I have believed that I was open to all and craved new facts and problems. Yet the Minds and I closed Ourselves to the possibility that another more powerful Mind might seek Our destruction. We were deaf to the stranger's message, for We feared it too much, and could not accept it.

  —And Earthfolk heard it— Anra said. —Earthfolk know how easily one can seek the death of another, but of course they don't call it death. It's called the end of a cycle, the fulfillment of old prophecies—

  I now see My limitations, Homesmind's weak voice said mournfully. The truth was before Me, and I turned from it.

  "You have many skydweller vessels," Hiya said, waving an arm at the shuttles. "Why do you stay here and build a wall around yourselves?"

  "If we hadn't stayed, you would have come back to an empty village," Nenla replied. "Others who lived here may return, and some Earthfolk may seek a refuge with us. We told the sky dwellers we would stay as long as possible."

  "Then you wait for nothing." Hiya leaned back against the hut's wall. "Many are wandering now. They'll take the lives of anyone trying to reach this village. We barely escaped from one band, and others won't be so fortunate. If you were wise, you'd leave while you can."

  "If a greater battle threatens," Nenla said, "then we may be lost whatever we do. We may be no safer in the sky."

  Hiya's mouth twisted. "I warn you. Those poor souls outside your wall will draw together. Our battle will be here."

  In spite of what Hiya had predicted, a few groups of Earthfolk had managed to enter the village during the past few days, and Anra had seen them all. Some were former villagers greeted happily by old friends, while others were strangers. Almost all of them had taken the opportunity for escape that the shuttlecraft offered, and a few of the villagers had left with them. Anra wondered how many more would leave Earth, and who would be left to defend those remaining in the village if it were attacked.

  She had met every group, but Silla, Harel, and their children had not been among them. Now she crept toward the ring of shuttles, knowing what she had to do. A door opened; she climbed quickly into one of the craft, letting the door close behind her. She would go to the mountain village and bring the family here. They might need her now, and there might still be a chance for reconciliation. She would try to reach out to them once more.

  The shuttle door opened again; she started. Olin was standing outside in the hazy, gray evening light. He must have followed her, while she had been trying too hard to shield her thoughts and intentions to hear him.

  "What are you doing here?" he asked.

  "Go away, Olin."

  He leaped into the vessel and leaned over her seat, his hands gripping the back. "Why did you come here?"

  "Only to get some food from the synthesizer."

  "There's food enough in the huts. Don't lie to me. You're hiding something. The wall around your thoughts-tells me that."

  "This doesn't concern you. This is something I must do alone."

  His beads swung as he shook his head. "At least tell me what you plan to do."

  His mind was binding her, holding her in her seat. Perhaps if she told him, he would go away; she could not have him risking his own life. "I'm going to my parents' village," she replied. "We don't know what might be happening there. With this craft, I can carry them to safety here."

  "You mustn't." She tried to rise; he pushed her back. She sent out an order to the craft through her link; the door opened. With her mind, she pushed at the boy, trying to shove him through the door, but he resisted, then pinned her to the seat.

  "It's too dangerous," he said. "Do you think you'll be safe from other people in this vessel? You don't know who might be out there. Their minds could pull this craft to the ground and drag you from it."

  "A shuttle can soar high above Earth, where their thoughts can't reach me. I can stay above the clouds until I'm near their village."

  "And what then?" he said. "What if they refuse to come with you? What will the rest of their village do? They might strike out at you, and if your parents try to protect you, they may risk their own lives. Have you thought of that?"

  "I have to try."

  "Then I'll have to go with you."

  "I won't let you. I can't ask that of you." She pushed against him with her mind once more, but his wall blocked her.

  "Stop fighting, Anra." He seized her by the wrists. "Are you going to use up your strength against me instead of saving it, or are you going to help me plan this foolish mission and have a chance at succeeding?"

  She pulled her arms away; he sat down next to her. "We should wait," he went on. "You'll be safer traveling at night when most will be asleep in that village. Is there a place near your parents' dwelling where we can set this vessel down?"

  She nodded. "They're near the edge of their settlement." She formed a picture of the village in her mind to share with him, sure that details that might be important were missing from the image.

  "We should land as close as possible, mute our minds so that we don't awaken anyone. If they won't come with us, we'll have to leave right away, before others come for you. You mustn't risk more by spending time trying to persuade them. This vessel has to get you there and back before dawn, or you'll face more danger on the way back. Can it do that?"

  "Yes."

  "Let me say this. You're risking too much. Had they wanted to come here, they might have traveled here by now somehow. That means either that they've chosen to stay or have been struck down by others already."

  "One of my brothers is crippled. It would be hard for him to travel, even with his mindpowers. The village is high in the mountains where they live, and the way down may be difficult." She leaned toward him. "You shouldn't come with me."

  "I can't let you go alone. Anra, I care for you. I have to share this journey with you."

  "And I'd rather have you safe." She leaned back. "I should have been kinder to my parents the first time I spoke to them. Maybe then—" She closed her eyes for a moment. Her parents and their children were almost strangers to her, yet because they were of her blood— or shared genes with her, as the skydwellers would put it—she would try to bring them to safety. It occurred to her now that others in their settlement might be willing to accept rescue and that she would be leaving them to their fate.

  —I see your thoughts— Olin's mind murmured. —Those who aren't bound to you by blood can sometimes be truer friends than those who are. I learned that during my village's time of troubles—

  Rulek, she thought, might have said the same thing, since he had cut his ties with all of Earth.

  Olin frowned. —Thoughts of him are never far from your mind— Anra tasted the bitterness in his words.

  —Help me forget, then. We have a little time— She moved to his seat and rested her head on his shoulder, feeling ashamed that there was a part of herself that she hid from him even when they embraced.

  He took her hand. His chest was bare, except for his beads, but he had exchanged his loincloth for a pair of light-brown pants. She fingered the beads he had given her. She supposed that she had grown to love him during the time they had spent together, even though her fe
elings seemed too muted and calm to be called love. She shared his thoughts contentedly but did not long for them; he was a friend who offered a refuge where she could forget the dangers that surrounded them for a little while. She knew his feelings for her were stronger than hers for him; had their life been peaceful, that discrepancy might have divided them. Now he was willing to risk his life for her, even to help her on a mission he thought was foolhardy. Rulek would not have done so.

  —We have a bond— Olin said. —Whatever happens to us later, even if we do not become partners, that bond will always be there— But she felt the thoughts behind his words; he still believed that he would win her over completely.

  —I want to care for you as much as you care for me— she said. —Sometimes I wonder if I can love. I thought I felt something for Rulek, and yet I cursed him in the end—

  Olin pulled at her tunic. She was about to remove it when he started, nearly knocking her out of the seat. "What's that?" He pointed at the panels.

  She sat up. The shuttle's scanners were signaling to her. Tiny lights flickered on the map of the outlying areas around the village; she signaled for a more detailed view.

  "What does it mean?" Olin asked; he could not read a map.

  "It means there are people less than a day's travel from here, many people. Hundreds, maybe thousands." The map of the northern plains faded; a depiction of the south showed a smaller number of lights. "They're coming from two directions."

  "We're going to be attacked," Olin said. "I don't believe so many would only be seeking refuge."

  The wall would not hold against so many; they had waited too long. They got up quickly and climbed out of the shuttle. Already those who had been on guard near the vessels were running along the paths, rousing the village. Anra realized with dismay that she would not be able to rescue her parents.

  By the next night, the plains near the village were ablaze with flickering torches and small fires. Above them, the stranger comet had grown larger, becoming a bright dagger. The villagers had gathered in the north field, some sleeping uneasily while others watched or fetched food from the craft. They might have fled in the shuttles, but had considered the possibility that some among those outside might want to leave Earth with them. Without touching the multitude's thoughts, the village could not tell if the other Earthfolk were united in their purpose. They would wait, and hope to save some.

  In the morning, Anra had her first clear look at those who had surrounded the village. Thousands were grouped outside the wall, but they looked ragged and worn. Some had brought packs and horses, but their supplies seemed scanty. She watched as one group cut small pieces of meat from a roasting carcass and parceled them out to a large crowd waiting for food.

  Fiella and Paeter moved among the seated villagers, carrying food and water to some of the older people. Another group sat with Leito; they were holding their minds steady, sustaining the wall and focusing the energy of the Minds. Anra wondered why the mob outside was still waiting. They might not yet know what they wanted to do, or they might only be gathering their strength. The Minds could protect the village, but those outside could also draw on Their power; the Minds, directed long ago to serve Earth, would serve them all—They could not do otherwise. Anger and hatred would wrench Their power from Them.

  "Look," someone called out; others pointed at the sky. Anra looked up. A dark object was dropping directly toward them. She was about to cry out in fear, afraid the battle had begun, when she saw that the object was a shuttle. Its hum grew louder as it approached and landed just inside the wall.

  The vessel had angered the crowd outside. People milled around, gesturing frantically at one another while others shook their fists. The shuttle's door opened and Lydee stepped out, followed by Reiho and Etey.

  Marellon was already stumbling past seated people toward Lydee. Anra hurried to the skydwellers. "You've come back," she said to Reiho as she grabbed his hands. "But you shouldn't have."

  He gazed at her solemnly. "We won't let those we love struggle alone."

  She turned her head. Olin was hanging back; he had never seen skydwellers before. Anra took his hand as Reiho gazed from her to the boy, then smiled. For a moment, she forgot the crowd outside and clutched at Olin's hand more tightly.

  By noon, the mob outside had still not assaulted the wall, but a few old people had gathered and were communing outside a ragged tent. The arrival of the three silver-clad skydwellers had clearly unnerved them.

  "What can they want?" Olin asked. "They don't attack and they don't try to pass through the wall."

  "Maybe they think the skydwellers have some magic they can't fight," Anra replied.

  '"We should have left this place as soon as we knew they were coming."

  "Perhaps. But the wall would have grown weaker without our minds to help hold it there, and they might have sensed our departure. They could have attacked many of us even from a distance."

  "That may be," Olin muttered. "But I also think some of those here are prepared to die here before having to abandon Earth."

  Anra had searched the crowd, hoping for some sign of Silla and Harel. She had walked around the entire perimeter of the wall, thinking she might see her parents on the southern plain with the smaller crowd there, or even on the opposite bank of the river waiting to fly across. The family could be concealed among those outside, but somehow she doubted it; they would have made their way to the front to view their old home, she was sure. Perhaps it was just as well. She would not have wanted to fight them, too.

  The old people outside the tent rose. Five of them began to walk toward the barrier, holding up their hands; they carried no weapons. Anra, suspecting a trick, added her strength to those maintaining the wall. She noticed that Gennon, only a few paces away, was also working to hold up their shield. Barla was near a group of younger children, hovering over them protectively; Kierlus and Riene stood guard near a few old people. The five strangers came closer, stopped for a moment, and then stepped through the invisible shield. Several villagers stood up as Leito walked toward the strangers and lowered herself to the ground with the aid of her walking stick.

  The minds of the strangers were shielded. The hard, cold look in their eyes was ominous. Anra and Olin moved closer to Leito in case the five suddenly struck out at the old woman.

  "You have passed through the wall," Leito said. "That shows that you do not intend to harm us—at least not at this time." The old woman's voice was weak; the villagers, linked by their Net, were listening to her through Anra's ears.

  "We don't want to harm you at all," one of the five replied. "To lead a person to death is not to harm if one's purpose is to lead that one to truth and away from an evil that would condemn the soul." The speaker smiled mirthlessly. She was a stocky woman with dark skin and thick white hair coiled around her hed in braids. "But we have come inside only to talk and to ask you some questions. We five are too few to harm you here, and are at your mercy. I would ask you for a truce, but I don't know what oath would have any meaning for you, or for such creatures as those." She waved a hand at the three skydwellers nearby.

  "You have your truce," Leito said. "No mind will strike at you here while you speak, and we are all safe from those outside."

  The other woman showed her teeth. "Safe for now. But I've felt this shield that surrounds you. It won't hold against so many people."

  "Ask your questions."

  "Some of us have heard the Voice, the call of the Visitor. I have heard it myself. At first, I feared its demand, but I've come to believe that God speaks through it."

  "We know of the Visitor," Leito said, "but we have heard no Voice."

  "The Visitor calls to us. We knew that one day Cod would draw all souls together and we would be trapped in separateness no more. That day is upon us. Earth's cycle is ending. The Beings called the Minds weaken, and the Visitor will take our souls."

  Leito shook her head.

  "You can't deny it," the woman continued. "The Vis
itor is hungry for us. You've fallen so far from the truth that you can't see it."

  "You said you had questions," Leito murmured. "I have heard no question yet."

  "Why are the Minds trying to deceive us? We've heard Their murmurings. They show us a world in the sky and say that we must go to it, that we must soon call for the skydwellers' flying ships to take us there. That cannot be true."

  "It is true. The Minds will live on one of the comets. They would be lost if They remained here, and we would lose our mindpowers. There, the Minds can still serve us. Here, we would have to live on as solitaries for many cycles."

  The white-haired woman leaned forward. "If we fight what must come, then solitude will truly be ours. We must heed the Visitor—it's God's sign."

  'The Visitor is not what you think," Leito said firmly. "It is only another comet. Skydwellers have many worlds, and it is only another of those worlds."

  "Perhaps skydwellers gave it life long ago, but God has touched it and it has turned from their unholy ways. Even their own Mind fears it now. You don't hear the Voice. You are too steeped in sin to hear it. You've consorted with the soulless silver ones too long."

  "One here has heard it," Leito said, gesturing at Raef, who stood among the people on Leito's right. "He can tell you what the Voice calls you to, and it is death." She paused. "Do you have more questions?"

  Two red spots had appeared on the woman's cheeks; her brown eyes were angry. "It is useless to ask this of you, I see, but maybe others here will choose to save their souls. Will you give up your shield and join us while we wait to join the Visitor? Will you destroy these machines that surround you? There are still some among us who doubt, but if you join us, they may see their error. We won't harm you if you accept the truth. Will you join us?"

  Leito was silent. Then Anra felt the thoughts of the villagers flowing into her great-grandmother.