by Layla Dorine
Still, he made it to his morning session on time. A fact he was proud of, considering it was halfway across the facility and he and that left turn hadn’t finished working out all of their issues yet. This morning it had taken him several tries, but he’d turned the chair without help, which left him tired before he even made it to the “torture table”.
Long, wooden, and ominous, it was set up with several stations, some already occupied. There was one for picking up and moving things, one for pushing objects from one side to the other, one for inserting pegs or circles into holes, one for tying, one for threading, and a couple of whose purpose Nicky wasn’t even sure.
“Let’s start you off at the threading station this morning,” Ms. Watkins instructed. She had kind brown eyes and a patient demeanor that had quickly cut through Nicky’s surliness. Now he looked forward to seeing her each morning. In fact, despite his views on the table, she was his favorite therapist.
For the next ninety minutes, Nicky threaded, moved, pushed, and placed things carefully in their allotted slots, his hand gaining more and more dexterity with every passing day. He still couldn’t manage tying a knot yet, despite how often he tried to get the laces to cooperate.
After the buzzer sounded, he lingered, trying one more time to tie the shoe while the others flocked out the door.
“Something on your mind this morning, Nicholas?” Ms. Watkins asked. “You had a very good session today. I can see the progress.”
“I can’t,” Nicky blurted, then sighed. “Well, I guess I can, a little bit, but that’s not why I stayed. I was, um, wondering about the animal therapy, with the horses.”
“Have you ridden before?”
Nicky shook his head. “No, but I always wanted to.”
“I see,” she said. “Well, horseback riding takes a unique set of muscles. It’s not easy to develop them while still healing from injuries.”
“You know how I got in here, right? In a dirt bike accident? It’s almost the same as riding a horse, just one’s mechanical.”
“I understand, but the person you really want to talk to is Dr. Anderson. He’ll be able to review your case and see if animal therapy sessions will benefit you. You’d have to give up one of your other sessions though.”
“I understand,” Nicky said. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Now go get some breakfast. You’ve got to keep your strength up if you’re going to be at your best.”
Nicky nodded and started wheeling himself to the cafeteria. Along the way he paused and made an appointment with Dr. Anderson for later in the day.
Dear Gray,
I’ve got some new news I couldn’t wait to share. I’m going to be starting riding therapy in the morning. My doctor approved me for the program since I would benefit from using the muscles involved. I guess you were right. He thinks it will be good for me, but I’m a little scared I’m gonna fall. Funny, I never used to be afraid of falling. Now I dream about it and it terrifies me. I wish you were the one teaching me. I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t believe that you cared about me. I’m done pushing you away. Being with you made me happy. It didn’t matter if we were in your kitchen or lying in a field. I enjoyed every second of it.
I like your list. I started making one of my own. It was hard though, trying to keep it practical. I had to tear up the first one because the stuff I was listing wasn’t anything I could still do. We can go stargazing again though. That was fun, and I loved listening to you make up your own versions of how some of the constellations got their names.
I’d love to see South Dakota. Maybe we can go to Yellowstone too: see the bears and Old Faithful. I always wanted to road trip, but the only place I’ve ever really been outside of here is Juno Beach. It was some vacation. I can’t wait to tell you more about it when I get home.
I still want to go fossil hunting with you. I’ve always wanted to find an arrowhead. I think it would be so cool to hunt around in the dried creek beds you were telling me about and see what we can uncover among the rocks. I never did get to ask you if it snowed in South Dakota. I’ve always wanted to spend a week somewhere with mounds of snow, just so I could learn to ride a snowmobile. I’d love to try ice fishing too. Have you ever done it? I bet it would be a good excuse to mix up a batch of that homemade Russian Tea you told me about. I bet they have real Christmas trees out there, not the fake plastic kinds. I think it would be kind of cool to drive around and see snow lit up with colors from all the lights.
I don’t know what your plans are for the holidays, but I would love it if we could figure out a way to spend them together. It’s funny, but the offseason always used to mean getting in as many sessions on the track as possible in order to keep my edge. Now the thing I’m looking forward to most is spending time with the people I care about.
I’d better get some sleep. I hope everything is going well at the diner. I really miss you.
Love, Nicky
***
Gray was grateful that he was on break when the mail arrived. He wasn’t sure he’d have been able to wait to read Nicky’s letter until after all his customers were served. Heading to his porch, he reclined with a groan and stretched his aching back as he opened the letter. As he read, he couldn’t stop the smile that crossed his face at learning about Nicky’s riding lessons, and it only seemed to grow as he continued reading. Showing Nicky South Dakota held so much promise. The places he could take him, the things he could show him. One of the most important being the ranch where he grew up, and his family. Gray could hardly contain his excitement over how much positivity and excitement were contained in Nicky’s words. It was as if he was finally getting back the man who’d eagerly scarfed pie with such obscene bliss on his face.
Gray read the letter a second time before heading back into the dinner, a grin firmly affixed on his face.
“Order up!” a voice snarled. Gray could hear the impatience in it and checked the time. He wasn’t late coming back from his break, which just meant that Fin MacGinty was giving Edgar a hard time again. Seemed like no matter what Edgar served him, Fin found a reason to complain.
“What was it this time?” Gray asked as he re-tied his apron.
“Old bastard accused me of over seasoning his potatoes. Hell, Gray, you know I never put any seasoning on the damn things. One day it’s too bland, the next day it’s got too much pepper. Why the hell he doesn’t just drown them in ketchup like the rest of the civilized world is beyond me.”
“’Cause he’s old, and pissing you off is probably the most amusing part of his day.”
“Why the hell doesn’t he ever pull that shit when you serve him?”
Gray chuckled and started rolling dough for biscuits. “He did, when I first started working here. Once I made it clear that he couldn’t rattle me, he left me alone.”
“Man, I’ve tried ignoring him and all he does is complain louder.”
With a quick flick of his wrist, Gray cut a dozen biscuits in under a minute and got them situated on a baking sheet. “Then I don’t know what ta tell you. Guess you’re just shit outta luck until he gets bored.”
“Damn.”
They fell silent for several minutes as Gray turned his attention to frying up some sausage gravy to go with the biscuits, his mind on the letter, and Nicky, until Edgar interrupted.
“How long you been up here, anyway?”
“Hmm?” Gray blinked, pausing his constant stirring of the pan.
“Was thinking about what you said, about getting bored. I’ve been up here almost a year now, and you’ve been working here, what, two-three years longer than that? Aren’t you tired of it all? Same food, same people, same hours every day. No life outside of this place, and screw meeting anyone way up here. Hell, I’d move if the rent over at old man Tucker’s wasn’t so damn cheap.”
“Still twenty-five bucks a week and whatever repairs he needs?”
“Yeah. And it keeps me close to Darla and the kids, so I guess I can’t complain, but you still d
idn’t answer my question.”
“About being bored?” Gray said thoughtfully as he stirred a cup full of onions in. “Yeah, sometimes. Most times here recently. I’ve been thinking about looking for something different. Maybe down in the valley. Get back to civilization again.”
“Civilization, or that brunet that was visiting you?” Edgar chuckled. “Kinda young, ain’t he?”
“He’s legal and then some, and his name is Nicky, and, yeah, he’s part of the reason I’ve been thinking about a change.”
“Ain’t seen him around none lately. Ya’ll have a falling out?”
“Nah, he had an accident. He’s in rehab right now. Speaking of falling outs, I haven’t seen that blonde around here lately. Did you forget your manners and finally let her see the real you?”
“Nah, man, I didn’t do shit. It was Darla that put the fear of God into her. I swear that crazy-ass woman can’t make up her mind. Either she wants me back or she’s trying to beat my head in with a frying pan. She got wind about Candice and went after her at Striker’s last Friday night, blackened her eyes and ripped out a chunk of her hair for good measure. Sammy Johnson said it was one hell of a fight.”
“Doesn’t sound like a fight to me, sounds like a beat down.”
Edgar started laughing so hard he choked on his water. “Yeah,” he sputtered, when he’d finally caught his breath. “That’s pretty much what I said.”
Gray dished up a couple plates of biscuits and Edgar dished up two more, the pair carrying them out to the diner.
“You should do it, you know,” Edgar said when they were back in the kitchen. “Seriously. Life’s too short to be wasting it up here.”
His words were still rolling around in Gray’s head hours later as he kicked back in his chair and began penning his response to Nicky.
Dear Nicky,
I miss you so much, especially when I’m serving pie. Never seen anyone with a sweet tooth like yours, and if it’s not against any rules, I’d love to send you guys some cookies. Just let me know what kind you and any of your other friends might like.
I’m glad you looked into the horse therapy. I think you’ll be shocked at how much freedom you’ll have. You just gotta remember that it’s a living creature, not a hunk of metal, they have feelings and personalities. Make friends with the animal first and it will look out for you. When you come home, I’ll take you riding. I’m rusty as hell. You’ll probably be better at it than I am now.
Things here at the diner are about normal. The truth be told, I think it’s time I move on. I’ve been thinking about looking for work in the valley. Something with a little more normal hours and better pay. It’s an added bonus to move closer to you once you get home. I’d like us to have more time to spend together. I hope you don’t mind. I’ve come to realize just how long I’ve been languishing away up here, hiding from my own awful breakup and refusing to live.
Seeing you so eager to move forward, wanting to put the bad things past you, it’s really made me think about all of the reasons I had for staying here, and let’s just say not many were good. I fell into a rut and couldn’t even see it until you came along. Thank you for helping me open my eyes and begin to see that there is still a world out there that I can be part of.
There’s a few promising opportunities in the newspaper, but I haven’t written out a resume in a while. Guess I’ll have to get to work on that tomorrow. One of them is a bakery, and to be honest, that’s where I’d prefer to be. I don’t mind cooking for myself and family, but baking was always my passion and the closest I get to that anymore is some breakfast muffins, cake, and pie.
As for the holidays, it would be my pleasure to spend them with you. There is nothing that would make me happier. I’m looking forward to introducing you to snow as well, but we might have to go shopping first. Something tells me there’s nothing in your wardrobe designed for handling sub-zero temperatures. Of course, I could always let you pack what you have and spend the time we’re there curled up next to me for warmth. In fact, I think I’d like that a great deal more than having to go shopping.
There are no words that will do justice to the view of so many brightly colored lights illuminating the snow, you’ll just have to see it for yourself. But one thing I will say is that I will be watching you, because the brightest light of all is the one that shines from somewhere deep within you and makes your eyes look like neon emeralds. So beautiful, Nicky. I feel like I can’t say it enough. I’d love to see you sitting beneath a tree, with all the lights shimmering off your skin. I hope I dream of that sight tonight. I can’t image anything better.
Write back soon, and let me know how the horseback rides are going, and if you’d like or need anything else besides cookies. I’d love to surprise you guys with some turnovers or scones, but I haven’t the foggiest idea how they’ll hold up en route to you. Still, if you want me to, I’ll try. I might not be able to hug you from here, but at least I can feed ya good.
I love you.
Gray
As he stood the following morning with the stamped letter in hand, Gray couldn’t help but imagine what the future might hold. A kitchen where he could create pastries and confections, a boyfriend he could take out on real romantic dates, normal hours and weekend road trips, making love to Nicky by a campfire in the woods, or beneath the Christmas tree.
His hopes and his resolve were high as he slid the letter in the box and raised the flag. Tonight, when his shift was over, he’d break out his old laptop and start working on his resume. With any luck, in a few weeks he’d be starting a new chapter in his life.
***
Dear Nicky,
I know it’s been a long time since we’ve spoken, and I know that I wasn’t always in favor of the time you spent with my son. I was trying to push him to aspire to be me, without ever stopping to realize that he was more like me than I imagined: bullheaded, stubborn, and determined to make his own way. I’m just grateful for the time I’ve had these past few weeks to reconnect with him. In that time I’ve come to see how much he needed me to be there for him when he was racing. How much he craved my approval and my praise, and how very little confidence he had in his own ability and my ability to love him if he didn’t somehow prove himself to be the best at everything he did. This is by no means an effort on my behalf to excuse what he did to you during the race, or the lies he told you, or even the way he treated you over the years, and, yes, he has opened up to me about how awful he was and how few times he ever considered putting your wants and needs before his.
The reason I’m writing is because you loved him, and right now my son needs to know that, even though you might never forgive him or wish to have any contact with him, he has a good heart buried underneath all the mistakes. I don’t think you’d have stayed with him for so many years if there hadn’t been a side to him that was worthy of the time you spent together. He can’t really see it right now. All he can see is his mistakes, and to be honest, I’m worried about how he’s going to allow those mistakes to color the rest of his life. If you could see it in your heart to tell him how special he was to you once, and what you saw in him, I think it would really go a long way toward forcing him to look beyond his past to the person he could someday be. I hope that isn’t too much to ask of you, Nicky.
Sincerely Brandon Marshall
***
River, six-pack in one hand and balancing a pizza with the other, knocked on the door with his foot. The look on Vic’s face when he saw him there was priceless. River thrust the pizza into his hands with a smirk and strode into the house.
“You could have called, you know.” Vic closed the door and carried the pizza into the living room. Nicky’s furniture had been returned to his room and the living room put back to normal. “What made you think I’d be here?”
“It’s Tuesday night and you’re addicted to that creature design show. Where else would you be?”
Vic chuckled and grabbed a couple paper plates and some napkins. “Thanks
.”
“No problem. Figured you wouldn’t mind the company.”
“Nah, it’s too quiet around this old place. It’s way too big for one person. I find myself getting bored and looking for dust bunnies to sweep just to fill the time.”
“Yeah, I’d bet. The shop sucks so much right now that I’d quit if Dean wasn’t such an awesome boss.”
“How are those new guys working out?” Vic asked as he cracked open a beer.
River groaned. “They’re all right mechanics, I guess, when they aren’t asking questions they should know the answers to.”
“Why’d Dean hire them if they’ve gotta ask how to do shit?”
River shrugged and cracked his own beer open. “Guess they were the best that applied. I think he’s still kind of pissed that Terry and Jason quit.”
Vic snorted, his eyes narrowing at the sound of Terry’s name. “Wish he’d done it sooner, like before he had time to make Nicky’s life miserable.”
“I’m just glad he’s gone now. It sucked going into work wanting to punch him in the mouth every time I saw him.”
Vic flipped channels, finally settling on monster truck racing for them to watch. “So what have you been up to?”
“Work mostly,” Vic said. “There’s been a string of animal attacks in the park. We’ve been coming across some pretty torn-up carcasses. They thought wolf at first, but these last few have been feline in nature. Bobcat or lynx, we’re not certain yet, but we’re cautioning campers to be careful. The last thing we need is one of them mauling a kid.”