by Cage, Aria
“I actually thought you might have gone to Nona, then I saw you out here in a daze.”
“Oh.” I drop my heated gaze and close my eyes. I guess he knows what I was thinking; he probably hates this place as much as I do.
“I did it, you know,” he says. I don’t know what he means and he can see that, so he continues, “I burnt it down.”
I can’t help the gasp. It’s out of my chest, and mouth before I know it, and even though my hand covers my mouth, it too is too late. He strokes my arm and gently urges it down before taking my hand in his.
“I thought it would help. It didn’t, and I’m sorry.”
“No,” I breathe, shaking my head, “Don’t be sorry. I understand, and I don’t care that it’s gone. You found me here in a daze because burning it down didn’t work for me, either. I still see everything in here,” I say, tapping my temple. “Our battle isn’t with a building, it’s in us, and no burning or running can change that.”
Nate drags me into his arms and crushes me against his chest. He kisses my head over and over before I tilt my head up and feel his kisses on my damp cheek. I had begun to cry, and for the first time in a long time, they were not tears of pain or fear, but of elation for our first breakthrough together. Together we will fight this; together we will make it.
I convinced Nate into going back to work with the promise if I needed anything, I’d call him immediately. He’s coming here tonight, bringing takeout from The Bell. I can’t wait to see him again and for us to learn what’s going on in our lives and our plans. I think I have a few in an indeterminate state, though essentially, this is our beginning. The learning part, the dating, the dreaming of an actual future together filled with happiness minus the obstacle of a monster.
I decide to attack my old room first. With no paint, no supplies, and nothing to clean with, I realize I have no choice but to go to the store. I’m actually excited for this new adventure, and it feels amazing to believe I just might actually deserve it.
I grab my bag and jog to my car when I hear Nona calling out to me. I should have gone and seen her, tell her I was moving back in, but I was nervous I couldn’t make it. That’s changed now that I know I have Nate, that I accept and believe that all my fears and disgust can be fixed… I can be fixed.
“Hey, Nona,” I wave as she makes her way down the front yard, and I meet her half way.
“Staying?”
I grin because I know she has already spoken to Nate. It’s a miracle she hadn’t come over when she saw me arrive. She would have seen Nate come and go. I’d say as soon as he left she would have called him, not to be nosy, that’s not really her thing. She would have been itching to help, to hug, to be the caring Nona she had always been to her boys and to me.
“Okay, girlie. You caught me.” We laugh and hug. “He told me to leave you alone; I could’ve knocked some of them perfect teeth out if I wasn’t on the phone. Who in hell does he think he is tell’n his Nona what to do? But when I saw you leaving, I thought I’d make sure you were okay.”
“I’m doing much better. I didn’t think I would, and I definitely never thought I would feel it here, but somehow I’m breezing through it.”
She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. I wonder why but don’t ask, something tells me I don’t really want to hear.
“Well,” I say, preparing her for my departure. “I got to go get supplies. Do you need me to pick anything up for you and Davey?”
“No,” she says patting my arm. “You go. We will catch up later.”
“Okay.” I kiss her cheek and smile with a twinge of shameful regret. I kinda wish she didn’t catch me on my way out now, and that’s a rotten thing to feel. I guess I just wish to stay in my bubble for a little longer. Instead, I get in my car with less bounce in my step, eying my mirror as I drive from Nona. She watches on, as though she knows something I don’t and that I’m not going to like it.
I push Nona to the back of my mind and make the short trip, firstly, to the hardware store. It, too, hasn’t changed all that much. I grab a cart and dart to the paint aisle, grabbing a tin of white. Anything is better than the pink in my room and the dull yellow that’s spread through the entire house. I grab two tins just in case. I know it won’t do every room, but it will be a start until I work out the color I want.
The cart soon fills with tools I need, and I head to the cashier, an older man with a big smile.
“Got a project, ma’am?”
I chuckle as I look at the contents, some of which I don’t know how to use or if I will need. “Yeah. My boyfriend is going to kill me when he gets home to find he’s up for painting.”
“He will be happy to help, I’m sure. Is he a local?”
I almost want to keep it to myself, and then I think, why do I have to? My demons are mine; no one else can see them. “Nathan Shaw.”
His eyes widen and his smile brightens. “Nathan? He brings a lot of business my way; I’m one of his suppliers.”
“Oh, good.” I begin to load it up on the counter when he holds his hand out for me to stop.
“No need, miss. I’ll get it all from here,” he says, and I realize what I miss most about this town compared to the city; people are so nice and willing to help. Going to big department stores is a prime example; dozens of worker bees and no help to be found. No, I like this much better. I note his shirt has his name embroidered upon the left side of his chest: Don.
“Thank you, Don.” He smiles again, and we begin the smiling dance, and it feels good to smile at strangers. I’m not sure if I ever had that before, but I like it.
“Okay, so all that adds up to one hundred and three dollars, and that’s with a small discount for putting up with Shaw.” We both chuckle, and I can see why Nate deals with him.
I pull my bank card out, and he runs it through for me when suddenly that smile I liked receiving turns to a frown and an awkward glance.
“Ah, it seems there’s something wrong with your card.”
“What?!” I know there’s money in there; I have a decent nest egg. I… “Can you try this card please.” I almost say, “Can you try this card, please, Don.” But I no longer feel that easy friendliness I had before the awkward stink between him, the counter, and me.
I hand him my credit card knowing I definitely have the credit in there, but the dread of what I’m thinking is suffocating. When Don cringes, I know I’m fucked.
“I’m sorry,” he mutters.
I shake my head. “No, it’s not your fault. I’ll go see the bank. I have an idea what’s happened.” I look at my cart filled with paint and things, feeling terrible. I have some cash, but if what I suspect is true, I’m going to need it for food and more important things. If I want to paint, Nona probably has some in the garage.
Like painting fucking matters, Charlie, goddamnit!
“I’ll have to go to the bank and sort this out which means leaving you to put all this back, I’m so sorry.” I don’t look back; I duck my head and beeline for the exit in embarrassment.
“Wait!” I turn back to find him bringing the cart toward me. “It’s a gift.”
“What? No. I can’t accept such a gift.” He’s a stranger and has to earn a living.
“Hush now. This is my place and when I was facing the downturn, your man helped me out. I hated charging you anyway. Please take it. No strings or anything, you don’t even have to tell Shaw. This is just something I want to do.”
“I want to pay you back then.”
He winks and shakes his head, “Then that wouldn’t be a gift, would it? That would be a loan, and I said no strings.” He rolls the cart out onto the sidewalk and eyes my car right in front. “Yours?”
“Yep,” I say trying to think of a way to repay him for his kindness, a kindness I have never received without a clause before.
“You grab the trunk and I’ll load.”
“Oh,” I run to the trunk and open it with a jittery hand. “Thanks.”
He smiles
and loads my trunk up with my “gifts” and drops the lid before looking at me again, only now, he is sympathetic. He had said he had faced hard times, and I wonder if he recognizes that in me.
“Don’t worry, go sort the bank out, and if you need anything else for your project, come see me.”
“Thank you so much. You’ll never know how much I appreciate this.”
He laughs once. “I could say the same for Shaw. Don’t sweat it. Go enjoy your night with him, he too deserves it.”
I don’t know what I’m doing, but I hug him. I hug a complete stranger who has been kinder than anyone I have really met over the years. The kindness and generosity inspires and enlightens me that there are good people out there. I then step away and motion my head down the street to the bank. He nods and walks back into the store, and I down to sort out what Paul has done as a form of revenge.
I step into the cool building of the air-conditioned bank and dread what’s to come. I know it in my bones that this isn’t a bank error. I wish it was, but that’s not how my life rolls.
The bank is small, antique looking, and empty. I walk right up to the cue line where the teller calls, “Next please.”
Instantly I regret the earlier thought about small towns and how great they are, I forgot it also meant there were people with small minds, big chips on their shoulders, and old grudges they find impossible to let go. Molly Saber is a prime example. I can literally feel the disdain penetrating my pores from over the counter.
“Charlotte Barnes? I heard you had come back to town.” Her eyes are squinty as they CAT scan me for anything she can provoke me with. Well she may as well stop right there, because I’m about to hand her something to mock me with on a platter. I don’t doubt she will gossip with her friends about it, and by the end of the week, half the town will know.
“Yeah, I came back for work. So―”
“That’s not exactly what I hear.” She interrupts, pursing her lips. She makes me want to smack them. Instead, I sigh and gather my patience.
“That’s the problem when it comes to gossip, it’s just gossip.” Molly jerks like I actually made a difference with simple words. But I know her better than that, and I haven’t seen her since I was sixteen. She’s still a damn bitch. “I have a problem with my account, can you please look into why my cards were rejected when I tried to use them? Yesterday I knew at least one account was fine.”
Her brows rise and the corner of her mouth kicks a little, like she is enjoying this. I feel like a teen again, wanting to rip her eyes out and not caring for the consequences.
Instead I remain silent and on my side of the teller booth, my body’s so taut my back aches already.
“Well, it seems your partner has canceled the accounts.”
I chew on my lips even though they did nothing wrong as I process the situation as a reality. Really, it’s my fault that I didn’t withdraw my funds before he got to it. I have had ample time to sort my shit out. Our account should have been one of the first I dealt with. Instead, I sat out in the open like a waiting duck in front of her hunter. Then again, knowing Paul, he would have done this the same day he threw my belongings to the curb if he wanted to.
“So the account is closed without my signature? I didn’t think that would be possible,” I say with tone. Frankly, she, and the ease of how this could happen to anyone, pisses me off.
She looks at her screen and back at me. “It was filed under stolen account information and you also signed a single signature authorization. He closed this account and didn’t open another… is this a domestic problem?”
My heart is thudding hard and I’m quaking all over. It now has little to do with Molly, though the woman isn’t helping, and more to do with my own stupidity. I was foolish, and now I’m paying the big, fat price. I could go to court for my share, but that would mean a lot of dredging I care never to face.
“No, thanks for your help.” I don’t care that I didn’t sound sincere. I don’t look at her again, nor do I listen to the words ooze from her mouth as I leave. I just walk out of there before I do something I will regret. I’m so distracted I walk right past the grocer, before realizing I will need a few fundamentals for the next few days. I only have seventy dollars in my purse, and maybe some change. Coffee, bread, spread, and milk are at the top of the list. I could live on that; done worse in my college days. Tonight would be easy; Nate will be bringing dinner. I just have to make sure I don’t tell him what’s happened. We don’t need that issue to escalate. Nate is already walking a tight line when it comes to the police and Paul; I don’t need to add to it because I was an idiot.
I got enough supplies to last me a couple of days with a few bucks spare. I even got out of there without meeting anyone else from my school days. I just didn’t think I could have gone through another chance meeting with the likes of the Mollys in this town.
Completely drained, I head back home with a trunk full of paint and tools to get my room done and the place clean, and a passenger seat of the basic staples. Now I just gotta get my groove back. Surprisingly, it will come from the very place I hated for most of my life.
I GOTTA ADMIT, EXCEPT for the argument this morning, this has been a productive day. This is what I wanted in my life: do a hard, honest day’s work and come home to the woman I love. I grabbed us Chinese instead of chicken and fries, some wine, and a bucket of ice cream for dessert. We probably won’t get to finish any of it, but I was so excited over our first meal and our first step into our future, I grabbed everything I could think she would like.
Pulling into the drive behind her car instead of my childhood home felt weird, but I’ll get used to it if she chooses to stay here. I’ll follow her anywhere.
I hit the old path with my bag of goodies; the early evening sky is filled with girly music playing from inside the house, which is lit up like a Christmas tree. I laugh; it feels good to be coming home to her, girly music or not.
Out the corner of my eye, I see Davey come running across the grass. I smile at him; it looks like he’s been waiting for me. I love my brother more than my life, but I want to see Charlie so bad I’m practically bouncing. I guess you could call it a symptom of my addiction to her.
“You coming over, Nate? I have a new DVD, but Nona said I can’t watch it till I have dinner.”
“No, buddy, not tonight. I have a date with Charlie.” He laughs and I give him a wink. “Go on. Go home and help Nona with dinner.”
“O–kay.” Davey says, chuckling again before jogging back up and into the house. I watch and make sure he’s inside before I head toward Charlie’s and her poor choice of tunes.
What I see, smell, and hear when I open the front door could have knocked me over. This woman is the most spontaneous, gorgeous woman I have ever met. Even licked with paint, hair in a mess on the top of her head, she’s sexy as hell. She’s wearing one of her old teen band tees and boxer shorts I’d say she found in the house here somewhere. She’s bopping and painting, singing along to the lyrics without a hint of knowledge of my presence.
I put my stuff on the floor quietly and creep toward her sexy body. I make my way past the tray of paint and crumpled dust sheet, and just as she rises as high as she can, I wrap my arms around her and try to bury my face in her sweet, soft neck. I say try, because the next thing I know, I’m holding my mouth hoping to God I haven’t got a chipped tooth.
“Oh my God, Nate. Let me look at it,” she’s screeching over the music. As much as I want to laugh because, let’s face it, it was fucking funny to be taken out by a woman, my mouth actually hurts like a damn bitch. She strokes my face and neck, the concern etched furiously across her gorgeous features.
Running my tongue along the back and front of my teeth, satisfied they’re all present, I take her pouty cheeks in my hands and smile. “They’re all there, babe. Don’t panic.”
She reaches up on her toes and her soft lips touch mine. The full tissue of her flesh cushions my lips before her delicious tongue sweeps
across my mouth. I could just fucking die a happy man right now.
I let her taste me and lick me before I can’t hold back and have to devour her. Grasping her hair, I bring her to a better position for the taking, ’cause fuck, I want to take all of her. I bring her down to the floor with me, the tray of paint tips and I don’t give a shit where its contents go. I only care about her. I want her… I need her, and she knows it.
My hands make fast work of her tee and I don’t feel the least bit guilty when I hear the material tear, or feel her gasp against my lips. If anything, it only makes me hotter for her, and I fill her mouth with my tongue. She isn’t wearing a bra, which makes my heart skip a couple of beats before her tits are peaked and heaving under my touch.
Charlie’s pulling against my own clothes, and I want to help her, I do, but I’m too busy feeling her tight body with my hungry hands. Selfishly, I let her fumble and fight for what she wants.
I like it when she’s desperate with want; it makes me harder than anything she could do to me. Wanting me like that is so different to what we used to have; it’s carnal and consuming, and finally free of guilt.
We’re both panting like animals when I sit up to gaze down at her flesh. I feel like an animal of prey, staring down at his game. I want her to lose herself in me, to never remember another soul but mine. I just fucking want! Want, want, want. So I take her.
I pull my shirt over my head and throw it. She pushes herself onto her elbows predicting my next move on her shorts, and well she does, ’cause I rip the fuckers down her body and they are gone. No panties either, it seems, and the growl that comes from my chest is deep and primitive. I don’t plan to, but my mouth takes possession of that naked pussy, taking it against her bucking hips, which I hold down. I lick her and lap every line, every swelling piece of her, until she comes apart and I taste the juices of what I generate within her. On my knees I gaze into her eyes which are mere slits, showing her dark, coffee eyes. They’re deep with passion as she watches me unbuckle my jeans, sliding them, and my trunks down my ass.