by Cat Porter
“I can’t protect them if they’re in Meager, Tania.”
“Oh, fuck off!” exclaimed the mom.
“Hey, you don’t talk to me like that!”
The blonde spun around. “And you don’t talk to us like we’re idiot whores under your thumb. You got that? I know that’s what you’re used to, but that’s not going to work here.”
Nice. I was going to like this girl.
“Did you hear that, little brother?” Tania twisted her car keys in her fingers
“You know something? Right now, I only care that our daughter is safe and healthy.” The young woman dug her hands in to her hips. “That’s all. I don’t even care that I’m about to pack up my worldly goods and leave the one place I’ve called home for three years.” She swept her fingers under her puffy eyes. “I don’t even care that I’ve wasted a long time now staying out here with you, that I put off doing all the things I’ve wanted to do—school, a better job. That’s how important this is. Do you not get that? Really?”
“Babe.” Catch ran a hand through his dark hair.
“Please.” Her voice lowered, her heavy eyes meeting his. “Please. I can’t do this anymore. I came here for you, Catch. But I have to leave for her.”
Catch’s head swung to the side as if she had hit him. His eyes darted at his sister. “This is on you now.”
“Hell no. You’re the dad. It will always be on you,” Tania retorted.
He closed the passenger door of his ex’s car. “You call me when you get to Meager. You hear? You fucking call me.”
“I will,” the young woman said as she climbed into the front seat and closed the door.
Butler finally emerged from the building and charged towards me. “Let’s talk. Now.”
Tania and I moved toward the gate with Butler at my side.
He moved closer to me. “You okay, Maddie?”
“Just groovy, never better,” I muttered.
His eyes narrowed at me. “How bad did it get?”
“He tried to make it real bad, but we managed to knock him out,” said Tania.
“You remember Tania?” I asked.
Butler glanced at her for a moment, and she grinned stiffly at him. “Yeah, I remember Tania.” His eyes narrowed. “Lock know you’re here?”
“No. I talked to Boner just before Creeper found me. He’s on his way.”
“You’d better get going. Tell me about Creeper.”
We told him everything that had happened and where Grant’s property was located.
I studied him as he checked the map on his phone. “What are you doing here anyway? With them?” I asked him.
He glanced up at me. “I’m not with them. I’m taking care of business.”
His eyes were no longer the lively crystal blue electromagnetic forces I remembered them to be. They were contained. There was a grim edge to Butler now. Of course, there would be. He’d obviously wrestled with his drug addiction, and he had borne the pain and disappointment of his own choices in addition to mine. More importantly, he’d been spurned by the brotherhood he’d called home for so many years. He’d gone Nomad out of choice and necessity for the second time in his life. I hoped the One-Eyed Jacks would take him back—if he still wanted in, of course. But judging from all this, he was taking some sort of stand.
“Are you going after Creeper?”
“That motherfucker has been playing both sides of every fence he could hop on for way too long now. Been tracking him for months. With this little kidnapping stunt of his, the shit just hit the fan.”
“Butler—”
He leaned into me, the aroma of wood, ash, and perspiration rising up between us. A heady blend of man. “I’m pulling the plug on that fan, babe.”
My chest constricted at the deadly tone of his voice. His light-blue eyes glimmered in the glare of the afternoon sun across the high fences where we stood.
“Get home safe,” he said, signaling to the prospect to open the gate for us. “Thanks for the info.”
I held his gaze. “You be safe, too.”
“And stay out of Nebraska, Grace.”
“With pleasure,” muttered Tania.
“Does the club know you’re here?” I whispered.
“You going to tell Jump you saw me?” he shot back.
“No. No, I’m not.” I raised my chin. “You do what you have to do. Are you okay though? Are you…”
A slight grin stole over Butler’s lips, his eyes flashing. “Maddie, go.” He turned and prowled away towards his bike.
Tania and I watched him tear out of the compound.
“I’m not having a delusional moment, am I?”
“Which? Take your freaking pick,” said Tania.
“Butler was here, right?”
“Oh, he was here all right.”
“This is the first time I’ve seen him in almost a year.”
“Really?” She glanced at me, her brow wrinkling. “He seems different from the Butler I remember. Sounds like I have some catching up to do.”
“Yeah.” I let out an exhale, not excited by the prospect of recounting my and Butler’s tale of spying, betrayal, and stinging disappointments.
“I haven’t seen him since your wedding with Dig. Is he some kind of outlaw bounty hunter now?”
“I have no flipping idea.”
“Well, Sister, you can give me the Butler recap once we get on the road for home.”
“You going to give me the Finger recap, too?”
She frowned.
Catch’s ex pulled up in her car next to us. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this. Really. Can you guys follow me to my place, so I can pack up my stuff before we hit the road?”
“Sure thing.” I leaned down closer to her and smiled. “By the way, what’s your name?”
She leaned her head back against the headrest, a smile on her tired face. “I’m Jill.”
“WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?” Boner’s eyes bored holes into mine.
“My phone got—”
“I figured. I traced your signal to this property filled with all this fucking junk in the middle of nowhere. And who do I see? A couple of Flames casing the place. Do you know how worried I was? After they left, I checked it out, but there was no sign of you two, just your goddamn phone crushed to pieces.”
Once we had gotten to Jill’s apartment, I’d called Boner, who’d made it into town in the meantime. He’d come right over to Jill’s place and met me out front.
“Explain. What the hell are you doing here?” He jerked his chin at the clapboard house behind me. “Who’s this girl?”
“Catch’s ex-girlfriend and baby mommy. I found her kid in the shed up there. Creeper had kidnapped the poor thing. We brought the baby back to Catch. But Jill, the ex, was in a rage about it, of course. Tania offered to bring her back to Meager to stay with her and her mom.”
His dark brows slammed together, his green eyes piercing mine like arrows. “Back the fuck up. You went to the Flames’ clubhouse? After I told you to get out of Nebraska, no less, and you just walked right on in there?”
“I had a hat on and sunglasses. I didn’t do much talking. But Finger was curious about me.”
“Holy fuck!”
“He and Tania seemed to know each other. That was interesting.”
“I can’t even go there now.” Boner shook his head, his lips smashing together. “So, you’re bringing this Flame’s old lady home to Meager? Seriously? Catch must be loving that.”
“He’s not happy. But Finger was all for it.” I moved in closer to him. “The best part was, Butler was there.”
“Butler?”
“Yes. He covered, though, and acted like he didn’t know who I was. He was with Finger and spearheading the Creeper chase. Have you heard from Butler at all?”
“Off and on. He lets me know that he’s still alive, which is good.”
“He doesn’t want Jump to know that he’s here. I promised him I wouldn’t tell.”
>
“But you’re telling me?”
“Of course I’m telling you.”
“How did he look?”
My lips tipped up. “Straight. Clean.”
Boner dragged his white teeth across his bottom lip. “Good.”
“He said the shit was hitting the fan, and he was going to pull the plug on that fan. You know what he’s talking about?”
Boner crossed his arms and leaned back against his chopper, his face turning up to the gray sky. “I’ve been down here for days, dealing with the Broken Blades—or trying to at least. Their prez is being an asshole, as usual. Remember Notch?”
“Yes, I do.”
“He’s been getting into it with the Flames of Hell. Thinks he can play them at their own game. That kinda stupid comes with power. Seems Creeper was running go-between, doing odd jobs for both clubs. Think he got caught dipping in both pies though. Blades are not happy with him either.”
“That’s too bad.”
“Us and the Blades worked together on this one deal a few months ago, but Notch pulled out at the last minute and sucked on Vig’s cock for a while. Always the same game with the two of them. Notch tried to pull that shit with the Flames, too, so it’s all one big happy shit pile. Can’t go on much longer though. There’s only so much territory to go around and the Mexicans have dipped their finger in every hole.”
“And Butler’s getting in between all that unhappy?” I let out an exhale.
“Nebraska was always the key for Dig, the key to standing up to the Seeds and the Russians a long time ago. For years, he worked on hammering out a kind of coalition of the Jacks with the Flames and the Blades, so we could work together to hold up our territories against outsiders. Our prez back then wasn’t interested.”
“Mick?”
“Yeah. Mick was more interested in what the Demon Seeds had going on out west, but Dig jacked that up for him. But when Dig got killed, it all went to shit—nobody talking to each other, everyone suspicious and striking out over anything, business never getting done. It was an endless circle of fire. Jump got it under control eventually, but things are splitting at the seams again.
“Maybe Butler’s aiming to do something about it.”
“Maybe.”
“Boner, you have to reach out to him, see if he needs help, if…I don’t know,” I whispered.
Boner’s chest expanded. “Butler remembers. My brother remembers.” He rubbed a hand across his middle. “Fucking Nebraska.”
The screen door burst open, and Jill trekked down the stone steps with a large black garbage bag stuffed with shoes, their heels and toes peeking out of the top. Tania came up behind her, holding Becca.
Jill dumped the bag next to her Honda. “Okay, we’re finally done!”
Boner swiveled around, and his body stilled. It was just for a second, but I saw it. His eyes scanned over Jill once, twice.
He turned to me. “What’s going on?”
“What? This is Jill. Jill, this is Boner, a good friend of mine from home. He happened to be in the neighborhood.”
Tania rolled her eyes.
Jill’s forehead wrinkled, her mouth hanging open for a moment and then cementing closed. Women usually reacted that way upon first seeing Boner. Discomfort. Apprehension. Fear. For me, Boner had always been my dark guardian angel. A little over six foot tall, he was lean and long-limbed, with dark hair just past his shoulders, dark brows, the beginnings of a beard, a slight mustache. A tightly wound tension seemed coiled inside him at all times, ready to spring, and if it did, you wouldn’t know what hit you. Boner was a dark, volatile creature cut with doses of vulgar and dashing. A modern day gypsy, a contemporary buccaneer. Those bright piercing green eyes of his seemed to register everything about you, no matter if it was in plain sight, or hidden. There was no escape. He looked like he could sting, and if he did, there was a possibility that you just might enjoy the pain.
“You’re Catch’s woman?” he asked, his voice low.
“Ex,” Jill retorted.
“Congratulations.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “Thank you.”
Boner stepped forward and grabbed the garbage bag, his eyes remaining on Jill. “Where do you want this?”
She licked her lips and pointed to her car. “Just in there, on the floor of the backseat. Please.”
She tugged the back door wide open. Boner stuffed the bag on the floor of her crowded backseat as Tania fit Becca into her car seat.
“You okay?” Tania asked him.
“Yeah. Just want to head out. You all set?”
Tania nodded. “Yep. Let’s get the hell out of here already.”
“Yes, please!” I agreed. I put my hand in Boner’s and tugged on it. “You okay?”
“Yeah, yeah.” He jerked up the zipper of his leather jacket. “Fuckin’ fed up with Nebraska.”
“After I had Becca, it turned into an off-and-on thing with me and Catch. I shouldn’t have dragged it out for so long though. But when there’s a kid in the mix, it changes everything.” Jill adjusted a white blouse on a hanger and hung it up in the closet in Tania’s old room in Rae’s house in Meager. “When he was around, he was an okay dad.”
“Really?” Tania asked. “For years, my brother has barely been able to take care of himself.”
“Well, she’s a sweetheart. Look at her,” I murmured as I stroked the side of Becca’s impossibly soft cheek while she played with her My Little Pony doll in Tania’s old twin bed. “Who wouldn’t want to take care of her?”
I took Becca’s tiny bare foot in my hand, my thumb running circles over her heel, as I watched her fingers pulling on the sparkly pink pony’s hair, twisting it in the air. She giggled, her full cheeks rosy, her blue eyes dancing. She brought the pony to her heart shaped mouth and sucked on his snout.
I used to hover over Jake when he was this age, and Ruby would gently stroke my back then leave us on our own. Even when he napped, I would stare at him, nestling his tiny hand in mine.
Becca’s face exploded into laughter, and she flung the pony across the room. I feigned shock and surprise with my hands flying to my face. She swung her legs, kicking, on the bed, and a little bud of wistfulness bloomed inside my chest, an aching flutter that I didn’t mind at all.
“You have kids, Grace?”
My head shot up, and my face heated. “Uh…um, no. I have a nephew. He’s five years old, almost six. He lives with us off and on.”
“She’s trying though,” said Tania.
“Really?”
Tania told Jill my tale of surrogacy woe.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Jill brought the pink pony toy to her daughter, and Becca grabbed it, squealing. “But it’s exciting. I mean, you’re trying again, right? It’d be a shame if you…” Her voice trailed off.
I glanced up at her. “Jill? What is it?”
Her eyes were locked on my hand that was on her daughter.
“Your ring,” Jill breathed.
“My wedding rings?” I asked, flexing my left hand out. “I love eternity bands—”
“No. That gun chamber ring.”
“Oh.” I touched the ring on my thumb.
“I didn’t notice it today, with everything going on.”
“It’s been one hell of a day,” murmured Tania. “Yet it’s still not over, ladies!” She emptied a small tote bag on the bed, next to Becca.
Becca sucked in air, her eyes widening over the new treasures piled before her. Her hands sifted through the mound of costume jewelry, makeup, and hair accessories as if she were a pirate girl unearthing precious gems.
“It’s unusual, I know.” I twirled the ring on my thumb. “It was my first husband’s ring actually.”
“Your first husband?” Jill said.
“Yes. He died about seventeen years ago. I just got married again.”
“And he’s hot. Way hot,” said Tania.
I made a face at her. “You never thought Dig was hot though, did you?”
“I sure as hell did, but I wasn’t about to admit that to you. I was too busy trying to convince you that he wasn’t the right choice for you. I’m such an idiot. But I know hot when I see hot.”
“Oh my God. You still drive me nuts, just so you know.”
Tania batted her eyelashes. “I’m thrilled to hear it.”
I suddenly remembered the strange vibe between Tania and Finger. “That reminds me of a conversation we need to have.”
“Oh?” Tania. “I’m going to go make some more tea.” She slipped out of the room.
Jill sat on the bed next to me. “Your husband’s name was Dig?”
“Yes.” I turned back to Becca and marveled at the hairbrush she was trying to use on my hair. I leaned closer, and she banged the brush on my head. “Oh! Here, honey, like this.” I put my hand over hers, and together, we dragged the brush through my hair.
Becca cooed.
“Do you need a new surrogate?”
“I’m not sure if I want to look just yet. It’s a long process. My eyes glaze over from just thinking about it.”
“How about me?”
My head jerked at Jill. “What?”
“I had a great pregnancy with Becca. No problems with my delivery. And I’m clean. I’ve been getting tested regularly. You know, with Catch at the club, I could never be sure what was going on.”
“Jill…”
Coming here is really a second chance for me, Grace, a new beginning, and I want to do it right this time. If I’m going to be here, helping out with Catch and Tania’s mom and around the house—which allows me to be home with Becca—I could be pregnant, too.”
My brain cells stuttered. “ I don’t know what to say.”
“Say yes. Grace, since I went to Nebraska, I’ve been working odd crap jobs, sometimes two at a time. I’m tired of being spread so thin, running around and having to be on my feet at work most days, never having enough time for Becca. If I’m not going to have to do that for a while, why can’t I do this for you as well? I’ve seen ads by agencies for girls to be surrogates all over the Internet and in magazines. Why not me? It would work out great for both of us.” She shrugged her shoulders, a tight smile on her face. “Right?”