Beth knelt and unzipped the duffel bag slowly like she was making a big reveal. “I realized I’d been thinking about this all wrong. We can’t make you fit in a dress. Your body rejects it like a bad kidney. Besides, it’s springtime outside!”
She reached in and pulled out a large white piece of vinyl and held her arms out wide to display it. It was a strapless bikini top. I smiled. This was just about the only thing that could cheer me up right then.
“Do you like it?” Beth said from behind the material. “I can’t see your face.”
“Oh, Beth,” I said in all sincerity. “It’s perfect.”
Beth let the top droop and beamed. “Try it on!”
I did, turning toward the wall with Frank draped over my shoulders. I felt a weird blend of excitement about getting a new article of clothing and trying to forget that this clothing could fit a small whale.
“Well?” Beth said. “Stand up so I can get a look at ya.”
I spun from crossed legs to standing in one move.
“You look . . . ,” Beth said, “ravishing.”
“You really think so?”
It felt so good being able to stand without having to press a comforter to my body that I flicked on the radio. I tuned it back to my station, and started an impromptu dance right there in the church. I’d never been any sort of a dancer, but I sashayed down the aisle, then turned and put in a couple spins, even tossed in some Little Richard, running my ringers along the tops of the pews like they were piano keys. I did this all before the stained-glass eyes of Jesus, and to me, he seemed as happy as any rock-’n’-roll audience could be.
Beth laughed. “How’s it feel?”
I did a little wiggle. The two-piece felt a little saggy in the bottom and droopy in the chest, but the ache in my bones told me they still weren’t done growing.
“It’s just nice not to be hanging out all over the place,” I said.
“Boy,” Beth said, staring up at me with admiring eyes, “you look so pretty I could just about kiss you.”
She must’ve seen the blood rush to my cheeks because she followed it up with, “Don’t worry! I won’t do it. Ha-ha. It’s not such a big deal where I come from.”
“You don’t come from Pennybrooke?”
She knelt beside the duffel bag again. “No, I was kinda adopted, remember? But that’s a conversation for another time. Besides, I’ve got another surprise for you.” She pulled out a can of paint. “After you’re fitted, we can paint your nails!”
I squinted at the label. It was my favorite shade.
“Thanks, Beth.”
She stuck a couple safety pins in her mouth and pointed to the floor. I sat in front of the pulpit, my back to her. I felt her tug the strap tight and fold it over.
“Lear’s in for a treat,” she said.
“Sure he is,” I said, twirling my hair four feet in the air.
I tried not to think about him too much these days. On the officers’ last delivery, I had asked them to bring me money to replace Mrs. Finley’s food, but they refused, worried I’d get someone to buy me groceries. I didn’t think Lear was going to visit again anyway. His absence made me feel my size.
“Turn,” Beth said, and then fastened more safety pins in the front. “When I got here, you had such a storm cloud over you, I was afraid of getting struck. It wouldn’t have anything to do with today’s headline, would it?”
I’d seen the newspaper on the church’s front step that morning: MYSTERY VANDAL STRIKES AGAIN! The picture showed Freeman High’s flagpole tied in a pretzel shape. I’d eaten the paper before Marsh could see it.
“That was me,” I said. “I did that.”
Beth snorted. “Well, I thought it was freaking awesome. The drama team’s been desperately trying to figure out what did it for the drills. But if you don’t mind me asking . . . why?”
“Someone is making me.”
Beth eyed the ham radio. “Do you want to be doing these things?”
“I have no choice. It’s how I get food.”
Beth put away her safety pins and then gave me that smile like something sweet was cooking. “What if I started a charity drive at the school, just for you?”
“And what?” I said, doubtful. “Say it’s for the Gray Rock reservation or something?”
“I’ll be vague about it. I’ll have a sign that reads ‘You can save a life.’ ”
More than one, I thought. If I had enough to eat, I wouldn’t have to keep following Liz’s orders until she eventually made me hurt someone.
“But what do we do when that food runs out?” I asked.
“I dunno.” Beth smiled. “We’ll start a rumor that there’s another bacteria scare in the TV dinners and then raid the trash cans.”
I laughed, the fear melting right out of my face.
“Speaking of school,” Beth said. “Rhoda’s been asking after you.”
“Ugh,” I said. “Did she ask about Queenie?”
“Who’s Queenie?”
“Never mind.”
“She keeps wondering if you got gobbled up by the monster everyone’s talking about. Calvin predicted that Emperor Ook’s bones have been coming to life at night and are taking revenge on Pennybrooke, starting with you, his damsel’s daughter.”
Right. Calvin. The ham. I’d forgotten all about him.
“Well, he certainly has an imagination,” I said. “Is it true what you said about Rhoda? Did her ma really try to kill her with sleeping pills and shoot herself? Was she really struck by lightning?”
Beth shrugged. “Wish I could tell ya.”
Adjustments finished, she took out the paint can and a brush and made big swaths across my fingernails.
Marsh cleared his throat, making us both jump.
“This is not what I had in mind when I requested a dress, Beth,” he said at the back entrance. His eyes were fixed firmly on the ceiling, avoiding me in my bikini.
Beth smirked. “I’d like to see you make something that would cover this gorgeous girl with the amount of material that it takes to make four normal-size dresses. No offense, Phoebe.” I gave my head a shake, hair whipping.
“Besides, Reverend, you aren’t the one who’s going to be wearing it.”
Marsh crossed his arms and dared a glance in my direction. “Perhaps you can staple some of the church’s curtains around the bottom.”
“Perhaps,” Beth said, and flashed me a look that said she’d sooner set the two-piece on fire.
“I think it best if you leave now, Ms. Graham,” Marsh said.
Beth threw the duffel bag over her shoulder. “I’ll be back to make the final adjustments, but for now I’m off to start a charity drive. Lates.”
I smiled and waved goodbye with my newly painted nails.
Beth spoke so strangely sometimes.
When the clock tower struck midnight, I squeezed my hips through the church’s double-door entrance. I almost lost the top to my two-piece, but it was late and Pennybrooke was quiet, so no one noticed. Well, almost no one.
Daddy was too much in sight, glowing bright as the moon. The corners of his giant lips, wide as a constellation, were flat, as if he was waiting for me to entertain him with something other than small pranks. He was in for a surprise.
I crept through the moonlit streets, keeping low behind fences and hedges. A dog barked. A window light went on. I curled into a ball and froze, holding as still as a parked car while a sewer grate breathed cold on my toes. When the light turned off, I crept past the drive-in. The lot was dark and empty. A cat shined its eyes at me before bounding across the field and slipping under a fence. A bottle broke. Somewhere, the wind played chimes.
The grocery store’s door was locked, but I gave the door a good shove, and it came open with a pop. I found a kiddie pool and filled it with food that could open without a can opener and then left money on the register for the food and the broken doorframe. I propped it under my arm and was about to sneak away when I saw a figure at the end
of the lawn.
It was Officer Shelley. Or what used to be Officer Shelley.
“I can’t let you do that,” he said, nodding to the kiddie pool full of food. “It’s cheating.”
He didn’t have his gun drawn, but he stood in my path, arms crossed, no taller than my knee.
“How are you going to stop me?” I said.
“We have our ways.” He stepped aside. “Don’t let it happen again.”
Even though I could punt Shelley across the entire town, he still gave me a chill. As I walked out of Pennybrooke and down the highway, I wondered how the Buried Lab would feel if they knew this food wasn’t for me.
• • •
The desert earth crunched beneath my feet as I walked along the lonely stretch of highway, leaving Hula-Hoop-size craters in my wake. The stars were putting on a real show that night: hot and bright as neon lights. The Joshua trees looked like frozen dancers. Coyotes cried through the dry air.
The locusts scattered through the wide-open sky, no longer buzzing around my head in a thick cloud. Some Shivers, when they get angry, snatch up a beautiful woman and haul her to the top of the Chrysler Building. But I wanted to separate myself from the gorilla—even if his anger did make him see locusts like mine. I refused to do what Daddy and Liz wanted me to do. I wanted to put some balance back in the world for the missions Liz had sent me on. And for all the times I’d had to leave a friend behind.
The walk took longer than I thought. After Pennybrooke disappeared behind me, my stomach told me if I didn’t eat, I was going to gobble up the Navajo people instead of surprising them with a gift. I started nibbling at the food in the kiddie pool, leaving a trail of wrappers and boxes by the side of the road.
When I arrived at Gray Rock, I set the kiddie pool, half full of food now, next to one of the hogans. I was about to head back when I heard a tiny gasp.
I looked down and found a Navajo girl, no older than five, staring with her mouth hanging open. Her head barely cleared my ankle, but she didn’t run away screaming.
“Hello,” I said in the least threatening voice I could muster.
“Are you here to kill us?” she asked.
“No,” I said. “I brought you food.”
She looked at the kiddie pool and then wrinkled her nose up at me. “Are you Wonder Woman?”
I gave a little laugh, which didn’t come out little. “No.”
“What are you?”
“Just a girl,” I said, kneeling in front of her. “Like you.”
The girl giggled. “Nooooooooo.”
The door of the hogan opened and Eugene, Gray Rock’s chairman, came out in a bathrobe. He pulled the girl to his side and stared up at me.
I held up my hands. “I come in peace.”
He nodded. “I’ve heard that line before.”
I nudged the kiddie pool closer. “I brought food.”
The girl crouched down and pulled out a Twinkie.
The man smiled at her then quirked an eyebrow at me. “You’re Phoebe,” he said. “The Girl Scout.”
“Kind of,” I said, meaning I wasn’t really a Girl Scout, and I didn’t really feel like Phoebe anymore.
“Why did you bring this?” he said, nodding to the food.
My giant shoulders deflated. “What do you mean?”
Eugene stroked his chin. “Well, are you doing it to make you feel good about yourself? Or are you doing it because you think we actually need it?”
“Neither.” I looked up at Daddy, who stared dully down at me. “I—I mean both. I mean . . . I was just trying to help. I figured it’d be better than Bibles.”
Eugene nodded. “Okay. All right.”
The girl tugged on Eugene’s sleeve and held up the Twinkie, asking if she could eat it.
“Go ahead,” he said. Then he bent down and grabbed a can of SPAM and waggled it at me. “My favorite.”
He and the girl went back into the hogan. I was so confused about the interaction that I was tempted to bring the rest of the food for the long walk back, but then I thought better of it and left it behind.
I was wrong about the locusts. There were enough of them to flood a desert sky. And here I thought I’d done something good. My feet crunched back along the highway, and I felt confused about what was right or wrong and whether any of it mattered. The sun started to rise, leaving me feeling just as helpless as when it had set.
• • •
The morning sprinklers were on by the time I got back to the church. Marsh was waiting outside, wringing his hands like a worried father. Or what I imagined one to look like, at least.
He grabbed my pinkie and led me up the walkway. “Did anyone see you?”
“I don’t think so.”
“In,” Marsh said, opening both church doors and throwing them wide.
“You first,” I said, tugging at the bottom of my two-piece. “If I go first I’ll scandalize you.”
Marsh entered, and I lay down belly-flat and followed.
That is, I tried to follow.
I could fit my head and torso through the double frame just fine, but when it came to my hips, I had to squeeze and wiggle like I was thirteen again, trying to fit into a tight new dress. Only this time, I had outgrown an entire church.
I just barely managed to make it through, the fat of my butt expanding in relief as I lay on the aisle, out of breath.
“Where have you been?” Marsh asked.
“I took food down to Gray Rock.”
“Where?”
“The, um, Navajo Reservation.”
Marsh’s expression loosened a bit, as if he hadn’t expected me to do something charitable, but it hardened twice as quick. “You are lying to me.”
I stayed on my belly, worn out. “I’m not lying.”
“And where did you get this . . . food?”
I didn’t answer. Here I finally did something good with my size, or tried to do something good, at least, and I was still being punished.
Marsh stepped up to the pulpit and placed his waxen fingers on the open Bible as if to draw strength from its pages. “I am wary about allowing you to remain in this church. In that outfit and with the”—he cleared his throat—“happenings around town. I will not house someone whose every action is dictated by Satan.”
What about half sisters? I thought.
I pushed up to my knees. “You didn’t seem wary about these happenings when it brought all those extra people to church last Sunday while I was stuffed in the storage.”
Marsh steepled his fingers. “I am not averse to having the opportunity to save more souls, no.” He looked up into my eyes. “But at what cost to the immortal souls of this town?”
I fumed. I was in no mood for this. The reverend liked to talk about sin, but he hadn’t spent much time thinking about the terrible conditions people were put in before they committed it.
“And where will I go?” I asked him, heat building behind my eyes. “Huh? You want to send me out there where everyone will scream the moment they set eyes on me and shoot me or lock me up?”
Marsh’s mouth set. “No, I do not. But I will if I must. We must each of us take responsibility for God’s wrath.”
I stood up full, crouching so my head didn’t crack the ceiling. It only took one step down the aisle to make my shadow fall over him.
“And what if I am God’s wrath?” I screamed.
Marsh’s hand leapt to his heart. In the silence that followed, the ham radio crackled and Liz’s voice came through.
“Phoebe. Phoebe, I must speak to you immediately.”
I took a deep breath, and moving my suitcase, picked up the hidden speaker. “I’m here.”
“Phoebe, what have you done?” Liz asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Father looks ready to pass out, he’s so bored.”
I caught Marsh’s eye. “I brought food to the Navajo people.”
“Oh, Phoebe,” Liz said, not hiding her disappointment. “Father isn’
t interested in watching a feel-good scene. You may have undone all of the fear you’ve created this week.”
Marsh’s face twitched, like the radio was receiving communication from the devil herself. I looked away from him.
Liz sighed. “I didn’t want to have to resort to this, but your latest action has left me no choice. You need to hurt someone. Tonight. Do you understand?”
Marsh’s face twitched, like the radio was receiving communication from the devil herself.
“What if I refuse?” I said. “I got food tonight all by myself. I could get more.”
Liz’s voice changed then. It was subtle, but wrung of the usual sisterly warmth. “Phoebe, your mother is not on a special mission,” she said. “We have her locked in a cell. Right here in the lab. We tried to get her to do an assignment, but she refused to cooperate.”
My fingernails squeezed the speaker so tight the plastic crackled. My voice grew quiet and dangerous. “You didn’t let me see her?”
I’d rip that goatee off the British scientist’s chin. I’d bite Droopy Dog’s head off. I’d tear Liz in half. Maybe the baby would survive, like a party popper.
“Now, don’t be rash, Phoebe. It’s good that your mother is in our custody. She was putting a lot of people in danger by moving you around as often as she did. Think about it. Your mother knew that whenever you moved to another motel, our father’s eyes would follow and people would die. . . . And yet instead of remaining in the hospital, she chose the selfish route.”
I could barely understand what Liz was saying. My head steamed with rage. Lava coursed through my veins. I wanted to go and get Ma immediately. Scoop her up like Emperor Ook had, cradle her to my breast, and carry her to safety. But how? The Buried Lab had moved. . . .
Or had it? No. Of course it hadn’t. It was so simple. They couldn’t possibly move an entire lab, but they could move a door. Replace it with another rock maybe. The Buried Lab was probably right where I’d left it.
I looked at my hands. They were big as tractor shovels, big enough to dig up a desert. . . .
“I’m coming for you,” I said into the speaker.
“Phoebe,” Liz said. “I don’t think I need to tell you that if we sense the slightest tremor above the lab, then we will hurt Loretta.”
Attack of the 50 Foot Wallflower Page 15