by Adam Oster
Alexa leaned up and kissed Buddy on the cheek. “I know, big boy, don't worry about it. We'd never work anyways.”
“Yeah, and why's that?” Buddy slapped his beer belly proudly.
“Oh, no, I don't mind the belly. I just couldn't date someone I work with.” She laughs again.
“Alright, enough of this flirting crap. The clock's ticking,” he said, looking as the clocks all flipped over to state one minute had passed. “How in the world are we going to deal with this trial?”
“Well, you know, I am awfully fast. I could just swing through every building in this fake city until I find it.”
“That seems too easy, doesn’t it?” Buddy asked.
“Yeah. My dad probably has some really dumb thing you have to do in order to beat the room.”
“Right. I mean, the last room wasn’t about finding the gem, it was about figuring out the puzzle.”
“Okay, so, what’s the puzzle?”
“No clue. It has to do with Flores, though, right? What do we know about him? Sounds like he had the ability to get big and small?”
“Yeah, I think so. Artie didn't really use his abilities much when I was around, but he claimed he could change his size at will.”
“Okay, so, what does that have to do with a big city?”
“I haven't the foggiest,” Alexa said, looking at the skyline. “Unless,” she said, disappearing for a brief second and reappearing on the other side of Buddy, “unless it's just like with my mom's room where it has to do not only with the person's powers, but with their personality.”
“Okay, I still don't think I get it.”
“Well, my dad always said that he and Artie never really saw eye to eye on things. Maybe he had an idea of what Artie was really up to. Maybe he knew that Artie would be responsible for breaking down everything you guys had built up.”
“So, you're thinking we need to go on a Godzilla-style rampage?”
“Maybe? I don't know. You got any better ideas?”
A loud crashing noise came from above them, causing the duo to look up and see six men jump out of a nearby building’s windows.
“Looks like we'll have to think more later. For now, I'd say it's hero time!”
“God I love it when you say that,” Alexa pretended to swoon.
The men landed in a circle around Alexa and Buddy and stood there without a word.
“Umm. . . isn't this about the time when you guys should be, you know, smashing and whatnot?”
Silence.
“This is creepy,” Alexa said as she stared at the man in front of her. “Do you think we just beat them up and go on our way?”
“Shouldn't we wait to see if they're bad guys first?”
“They aren't even real, Buddy. Let’s just bash their heads in and go find that stupid gem already.”
Buddy advanced on the man directly in front of him, pulled his arm back and planted it in the middle of the man's face. He stood solidly as a creaking noise began around them and the ground started to rumble.
“What the--” Buddy began as the ground shook beneath them. The men grew in size simultaneously, as Buddy and Alexa stood and watched. The man Buddy hit raised his foot above them, blocking out the sunlight. The foot stomped down at them swiftly. Alexa disappeared from Buddy's side as he was flattened to the ground.
Struggling under the weight of the massive black boot now resting on his head, Buddy maneuvered his body so that his feet were out from under him and he was lying on his back. With one strong push, Buddy kicked his legs out at the tread of the shoe and the foot flew up into the air.
Buddy stood quickly, looking in every direction for Alexa. The ground rumbled further, marking the re-approaching giant. He crouched low to the ground and leapt into the air, landing on the man's head, finding himself in the midst of a pile of long black hair.
The man's hand swung wildly at Buddy, as he held onto the thick dark strands as tightly as possible. Buddy felt the hair getting bigger in his hand.
“What the hell is going on here?” Buddy asked no one in particular.
He heard a voice in his head. “Holy crap! They’re getting bigger!”
“Um, yeah,” Buddy yelled in confusion as he tried swinging through the hair toward the ear canal. “Who is this?”
“Buddy?” the voice replied.
“Yeah, now who the hell is this and what are you doing in my head?”
“Umm, it's Talmadge, and I could ask you the same question.”
“I’m a little busy right now,” Buddy said as he punched through the thick hair at the head of the man. “You guys have any clue what’s going on?”
“No, but we found the gem.”
“Awesome. Nab it and let's get out of here, before I become microscopic.”
“That's the problem, Buddy. We're shrinking too, or everything's getting bigger, or whatever. The gem’s out of reach and we’re under attack. Zero’s already been knocked out cold, I think. I can’t find him and I don’t know how much longer I can hide here before they find me.”
“Dammit,” Buddy yelled as he saw Alexa building a tornado around one of the other men, causing him to spin in circles. “Why the hell does everything have to be so damned difficult around here?”
“Oh crap,” Talmadge’s voice screamed in Buddy’s ear. “They’re coming!”
“Great, so, once again, they leave it up to the great Buddy Hero to save the day.” He landed roughly on the outside of the man's ear canal. An enormous finger appeared at the same spot and pushed him deeper into the flesh-walled tunnel. Buddy kicked at the finger tip, which did nothing to stop its attempts to fish him out.
The finger closed off all outside light, but the room flashed with a faint blue glimmer. Buddy, deciding that he couldn’t get out the way he got in, walked deeper into the cave to find a single solitary computer terminal.
“Of course this thing's gonna involve a computer. Why am I in here instead of Ryan?”
Buddy sat down at the chair in front of the flashing monitor and pressed a key on the keyboard. The screen came to life; an eight-bit image of a city-scape appeared with the words Flores Enterprises emblazoned across them.
“Talmadge, pal,” Buddy said out-loud in desperation. “If you're out there, I could definitely use some assistance.”
“Buddy?” the voice reappeared, sounding out of breath, which Buddy couldn’t help but think was odd for a telepathic conversation. “I don’t know what’s going on. I’m scared.”
“Keep it together, kid. I think I might have found part of the puzzle. Do you know anything about computers?”
“Of course I do, but now is not really the time to--”
“Shut up and listen. I'm inside one of those giant guys’ heads and I found a computer. I'm sitting here in the dark with nothing but a screen saying Flores Enterprises. What the hell do I do?”
“Is there a menu or something?”
“No there's no freaking menu! I already told you, it just says Flores Enterprises, and there's a blocky picture of a bunch of skyscrapers, that's it.”
“Oh, okay, you mean like an ASCII image?”
“I don't know. Sure, why not?”
“Does it look kind of like something you'd see on an old video game?”
“Yeah, just like that!”
“Okay, great. So, that means that there's any number of ways you could get into the system. I guess I'd-- Oh crap!”
“Talmadge!” Buddy yelled, his voice echoing off the dark corridors of the man's ear. “What do I do?”
“Help!” Talmadge's voice screamed in Buddy's head.
“I can't help, I'm stuck in this robot's freaking head. I need you to help me.”
“No, I mean, try typing help.”
“Oh, okay.”
Buddy slowly found his way around the keys to type the intended four letters. As soon as he pressed ENTER, the screen went blank and a whirring noise sounded at his feet.
Shortly, the screen flashed and fille
d with words.
“Talmadge,” Buddy whined. “I need more help here.” There was no response. “Alright, I guess I'm on my own.” Buddy read through the items on the screen out-loud. “Information, Directory, System Power, Tools, Graphic User Interface, About--What the hell does all of this stuff mean?”
Buddy slammed his fists against the keyboard, shattering it into pieces.
“Well, I have a hard time believing that’s going to help anything.”
He stood up and looked around the poorly lit room.
“There's gotta be a light switch around here somewhere or something, right?”
Buddy went to the nearest wall and began feeling around for a light. He followed the wall around the room, finding nothing that would aid in illuminating his situation.
“Okay, this is going from hopeless to just pathetic. I should be out there smashing things, not hiding inside some robot's brain meddling around with some stupid computer.”
“Buddy,” the voice reappeared. “There's only 30 seconds left until the clock hits eight. You better do something.”
“Argh!” Buddy screamed in frustration. He ran to the computer, picked it up and threw it across the room. The box lit up with sparks and fizzled out quickly.
“What'd you do?” Talmadge's voice asked.
“Um,” Buddy answered reluctantly. “I just broke the computer. Sorry.”
“No, that’s good. Do more! We’re getting bigger!”
Buddy looked around and found that the room was, indeed, getting smaller. A large grin grew upon his face as he ran to the other side of the room where a wall filled with tiny red lights stood. He rammed into it with his shoulder. A loud fizt sounded as he bolted toward another side of the room where he saw yet more lights.
Each act of destruction made the room appear smaller, making Buddy’s treks to the next set of lights that much faster. Within seconds, Buddy found himself having to bend over to avoid banging his head on the ceiling, until finally, he was so cramped, all but the smallest movements were impossible.
“Talmadge, you had better do something about that damned jewel now or I think I'm going to be nothing but another squashed bug inside this dude's ear.”
The force against Buddy was incredible. The walls cracked around him as his frame grew larger and larger. The ceiling gave way and his head burst through the top of the android's skull, causing Buddy to be lost in a sea of dark greasy hair.
“Taaaalmadge!” Buddy yelled into the skyline.
Three tones sounded through the air and everything melted into a series of blocks. Buddy fell roughly to the ground as his captor dissolved, showing the entire group standing around his immediate area. Talmadge held a blue gem in his hand.
The room was black, but lit from somewhere. Thirty feet away from where the heroes stood, the door opened.
“Congratulations, heroes!” D.A.W.N. said. “You have passed the Fat Mogul trial. Please exit to your left.”
CHAPTER 19
The group reentered the small corridor. Zero had an arm wrapped around Talmadge as he hobbled into the room.
“What happened, Zero?” Alexa asked with concern.
“Alas, young Rose, I allowed myself to become over-confident in battle and may have sustained yet another injury.”
“He got stomped and crushed one of his legs,” Talmadge clarified.
“Yes, that is regretfully what happened,” Zero groaned. “Thank you, little Bee, for helping me out of the room. However,” he said as his right leg glowed purple, “I believe I can manage on my own from here.”
“You think you can sustain a telekinetic construct around your leg for the rest of the time we’re down here?” Oscar asked.
“I don’t believe I have much of an option, Big Red,” Zero answered. “I certainly can’t allow this injury to take me out of commission, and I can’t expect anyone to drag me along either.”
“Well, at least let me take a look at it,” Oscar begged.
“Not now,” Zero raised his hand in objection. “Anything that’s going on down there can wait until the mission’s over.” He cringed in pain as he took his weight off Talmadge’s shoulder and onto his injured leg. “See, I can stand just fine. Little Bee, you should do the honors.”
Talmadge placed the jewel within its appropriate location inside the again-revealed panel in the floor and the panel closed swiftly once more.
“Please grab hold of the handrails,” D.A.W.N. said as the hand rails again appeared from within the walls. The group obliged and the room fell another story before landing hard on the next platform. The handrails disappeared as they brushed themselves off.
“Well,” Oscar clapped his hands. “That was exciting, wasn't it?”
“Yeah,” Buddy groaned. “Never put me in charge of the computer stuff again, okay?”
“Is that what it was?” Ryan asked.
“I’m not really sure what it was. All I know is that I got inside that robot’s head and found myself in front of a computer screen.”
“Come on, Dad,” Ryan scowled. “You know that there’s very little reason that you would ever put the integral parts to an android within the head. It’s too prone to damage. You’ve obviously been watching too many movies if you think--”
“Hey,” Oscar rebutted. “I was doing something artsy here, okay. It was all about how Arthur would get into people’s—“
“Enough with the explanations of what it was supposed to be,” Zero cut in. “Although I can’t believe that Buddy actually managed to utilize a computer to save the day.”
‘Well, if by utilize you mean smash to bits, then, yes, I utilized the hell out of that computer.”
“Really?” Oscar cut in. “There’s absolutely no reason that should have worked to clear the room. It was supposed to be a battle of wits against the computer, not another place for Buddy Hero-style destruction.”
“Hey pops,” Ryan smiled, “we take what we get.”
“And Mr. Jones,” Murphy murmured, “how did you manage to find the gemstone?”
“I don’t know,” Talmadge answered. “I just kinda walked right to it.”
“I think,” Buddy added, “what's more interesting is how Talmadge was able to communicate with me. How long have you had telepathic powers?”
“Wait, that was really you?” Talmadge asked in surprise. “I just thought I was having another one of my psychotic breaks.”
“Psychotic breaks?” Oscar asked.
“Yeah, been having them for forever. I usually do pretty good when I’m on my meds, but, well, they kinda numb the brain, you know?”
“It sounds to me,” Oscar continued, “like these things you've been told are psychotic breaks are, in actuality, latent abilities trying to present themselves. It happens quite frequently.”
“Are you trying to say that crazy people shouldn't be taking their medicine?” Kent asked. “Because I've got quite a few nutters I've locked up over the years that beg to differ.”
“Oh, nothing of the sort,” Oscar mused. “In fact, there are many people out there who could do quite well with a little bit of medicinal assistance. The issue is, many of my colleagues are so eager to prescribe the latest and greatest pharmaceutical breakthroughs that they tend to pay less attention to the diagnosis piece of the process than they should. There are, unfortunately, a fair number of folks, like Talmadge here, who would do much better with a little more focus on the cause of their troubles.”
“That doesn’t sound at all like the man who runs the world's largest pharma company,” Buddy laughed.
“I make the stuff, so obviously I believe it serves some use. That doesn’t mean I don’t believe it hasn’t been used inappropriately from time to time.”
“Enough with the health and safety chatter, Big Red,” Zero cut in. “Let's get down to business. What door do we pick this time, Little Bee?”
“Jeez, Zero,” Buddy disagreed. “Can't we just take a moment to catch our breath? That last room was intense. I mean,
look at you. Maybe you should consider taking the exit and getting some medical attention.”
“Me?” Zero laughed. “Give up? Never!”
“I, personally, have absolutely no problem with giving up,” Kent interjected. “Didn’t you say there was some sort of exit to this place, Doctor Reed?”
“Well, yes and no,” Oscar answered. “You see, if someone were to use the back door without us actually wanting them to, I really couldn’t just allow them to go along on their merry way if they decided the place was too much for them, could I?”
“No?” Kent asked unhappily.
“The exit door is really just sends the user down to a cell in The Bunker's dungeon-esque lower level.”
“Well, great,” Kent smiled. “Isn't that where we're trying to get?”
“Yeah,” Buddy added. “Couldn't we just bypass all this trial crap and take the easy way out?”
“I'm afraid it's not that easy,” Oscar answered. “You see, although I wasn't able to remove Arthur's image from things like the statue, or the trial rooms, I did remove his access to most areas of The Bunker. I'd be surprised if he's even able to make his way into the dungeon, much less open the cell for you.”
“I'm sick enough of this trial crap to try anything,” Kent scowled. “Kid,” he said, grabbing Talmadge by the arm. “Which one's the exit?” Talmadge pointed to the door on the left.
“Mr. Kent,” Murphy warned. “You are already bordering on complete insubordination. This will most definitely place you over that line.”
“Why don’t we just consider it my attempt to explore all options for entering the base?” Kent growled.
“Although I’d appreciate your discussing such decisions with me first, I cannot argue that this may have merit. However, we will most definitely have a discussion about this when we return to HQ.”
“Whatever you want, boss,” Kent answered. “As long as I don’t have to spend another second in this death trap.”
Kent walked to the door, opened it, and stepped through without another word. A few seconds later, screams could be heard as the door slammed shut.