by Cat Johnson
He flopped back against the pillow and flung one forearm over his eyes. Good thing he wasn’t riding tonight. He was bone deep tired. The kind of tired that came from mental exhaustion, more than physical.
The sound of the bathroom door opening again pulled Jace out of the zone he’d fallen into—that place between asleep and awake. Another thing he had to get used to—a woman who got ready as quick as he did. Jacqueline used to want an hour’s notice to run to the store. It required full makeup and hairspray and the proper outfit.
He opened his eyes to find Tara scowling at him. “I knew you were still tired. You fell back to sleep.”
“Did not. I was just checking my eyelids for cracks.” His answer brought a smile to her face, even as she shook her head at him.
Lying down had been a bad idea. Jace rallied his energy and sat up, glancing at his phone on the nightstand. He needed to check it to see if the guy working with him had any problems or questions. He risked looking at Tara and found she was sitting on her bed, busy going over some papers. It looked like the schedule of events they’d be attending. Perfect. She was distracted so she hadn’t noticed him hesitate before he turned on his phone.
Drawing in a deep breath, Jace hit the ON button. It took the phone a few seconds, then it booted up . . . and went crazy in his hand, vibrating as the texts and voicemails loaded.
Eleven texts and six voicemails, and he was going to have to go through every one just in case any were from Mike, even though he was sure most, if not all, were from Jacqueline.
“Shit.” The cuss escaped him before he could stop it. Jace glanced up again and wasn’t so lucky this time—Tara was watching him. He needed privacy so he stood. “I’m taking a quick shower. Then we can go eat and get a move on.”
“Jace.”
He’d just turned toward the bathroom, the phone he’d come to hate in his hand, when Tara’s voice stopped him. He glanced back at her. “Yeah?”
“I know we’re not friends or anything, but we are stuck together for the next few weeks, so I wanted you to know . . . we can talk, if you want.”
There was that look of pity again. He was going to have to give her some explanation, eventually. Just not right now. “Ain’t nothing to talk about.”
He strode to the bathroom and closed and locked the door behind him.
“So, I feel like I owe you some sort of explanation.” Jace kept his eyes on the road and both hands tight on the steering wheel.
About damn time. Tara bit back that comment and played dumb. “Explanation for what?”
He looked about as uncomfortable as a man could. As if he was about to face a firing squad—or the tampon aisle in the drugstore. “For all the phone calls.”
“Okay.” Tara nodded. If he had thought she was going to say no and tell him that she didn’t need an explanation, he was going to be disappointed.
“Jacqueline and I . . .” Jace glanced at Tara, then back to the highway in front of them. He let out a sigh. “I don’t know. It’s complicated.”
Tara waited for what seemed like a long time in the silence of the truck, though it was probably about thirty seconds or so. He didn’t continue, so she decided to prod him into it. “I thought you two were broken up. For like a year now.”
“We are.” He let out a short laugh. “That’s the complicated part.”
She stayed quiet, mostly because she wasn’t sure what to say, but kept an eye on him while the truck remained silent. Nothing but the noise of the road beneath the tires.
“Things were great in the beginning.” Jace stared ahead, almost as if he was talking to himself. “About four months in, I was on the road, following the circuit and competing full-time, just like now. I got banged up pretty bad one night. Couple of cracked ribs. Nothing critical, but I hurt like hell. There wasn’t anything the doc could do about it, so I did a few shots of whiskey to numb the pain and passed out to sleep through it. I forgot to call her that night, and I forgot to plug in my phone so it went dead. When I woke up in the morning, it was to a dozen messages from her flipping out.”
“Didn’t you tell her what had happened?”
“Yeah. She didn’t believe me. Said I didn’t call because I must have brought a girl home with me. I finally put some of the guys on the phone to confirm I was hurt and had gone to the hotel alone.”
“Did she believe you then?”
“She said she did, but I don’t know. She put me through hell when I got home. I did everything I could to make her believe I hadn’t and I wasn’t going to cheat on her. But she’d throw that one night in my face every chance she got. Every fight we had. Every time I spent a night on the road. I ended up driving home between competitions in the middle of the night rather than getting a hotel room, just to keep the fights down. And if she felt I’d taken too long getting home, she assumed it was because I was screwing someone at the arena before I left.”
“Wow.” Tara hadn’t meant to breathe a word to interrupt him, but the exclamation slipped out.
Jace dragged in a breath and let it out. “That’s the way it was from then on. For the next six years or so, until last year when I came home one night and found all my stuff out on the front lawn.”
Tara’s eyes widened and she made a tiny noise of shock. Jace glanced at her and snorted. “Oh, don’t be so surprised. That wasn’t the first time it had happened. She’d throw my shit outside at least a few times a year. She’d break up with me every time we had a fight. It just never stuck because I’d work on her until she let me back in. Except for that last time. I don’t know why but that time I didn’t stand outside the door and talk until she let me back in. I put all my shit in the back of the truck and drove to Tuck’s. That really pissed her off. That’s when I went and rented my own place.”
Tara started to get a clearer picture of the breakup, as well as the relationship. Jacqueline had broken up with him because that’s what she always did, but he’d essentially ended it by not groveling until she’d taken him back. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure. Why not.” His enthusiasm was less than overwhelming.
“Did you ever cheat on her? Were her suspicions justified?”
“No.” The single word was delivered in a low, firm voice.
Tara remembered when she was younger—about nine, she guessed. Tuck and Jace would roll in from a weekend of riding, reeking of booze and talking about all the girls they’d been with. They never knew she could hear every word they said through the wall of her bedroom. Of course, that had been before Tuck had started dating his first wife Brenda, and before Jace had met Jacqueline.
“Jace, you can tell me the truth.” Tara tried to keep her tone from sounding like she was accusing him or she and Jace would end up in a fight of their own.
“I am! I swear to God, Tara. I’m not saying I was an angel before I met her, because I wasn’t. But I never touched another woman after she and I started dating. I might forget to call. Or forget to charge my phone or hell, I even forgot to pack my charger sometimes, but I wasn’t running around on her.” He took his eyes off the road to glare at her for so long, Tara began to fear for their safety.
“Okay, Jace. I believe you.”
He let out a snort. “No, you don’t.”
All right, he’d caught her there. “What I’m having trouble with is why you stuck it out for so long if things were so bad.” An innocent man would have told Jacqueline to take her suspicions and shove them, and then left.
“It wasn’t because I was feeling guilty, if that’s your point.” There was an angry set to Jace’s jaw.
“Then why? You said you owe me an explanation, so explain. Help me understand.” Inexplicably, Tara found she was interested in knowing—cared about, even—Jace’s motivation.
“Because it wasn’t always bad. Sometimes it was really good. When we weren’t fighting. When she was in a good mood.” He let out a breath. “And because I love her.”
“Love. Present tense?” Another interes
ting revelation, and one Tara was pretty sure he’d let slip accidentally.
“No. Loved. Past tense.” He drew in a breath and let it out slowly. “I don’t know. I guess a part of me will always love her. Or hell, maybe I’m just remembering the good times. It’s confusing when I see her now.”
“See her meaning what? When you run into her like at Tuck’s wedding? Or are you seeing seeing her?” Tara stressed the word twice, so he’d get her meaning.
Jace looked as if he’d rather do anything than talk about it more. “I go over to her place sometimes.”
Realization dawned. “Are you still having sex with her?” That would explain a lot, such as the midnight phone calls, the jealousy . . .
“Yeah.” He didn’t make eye contact at all. He concentrated on the road through the windshield as if his life depended on it.
“But you’re avoiding her phone calls.” It was like pulling teeth. One tiny revelation at a time, and Tara had to dig for every one.
“Because I can’t do it anymore. Tuck was right. He told me I’d never move on until I cut ties with her completely.”
“I don’t often agree with my brother, but in this case, I think he’s right.” Not that Tara was any relationship expert, but even she could see the one between Jace and Jacqueline was a bad idea.
“I know. That’s why my phone is turned off.”
“I’m not sure that avoiding the issue is going to solve it.”
“I know that too, but it’s the best I can do right now. Okay?” His tone grew sharp.
Sometimes running away was the easiest path to take. “I understand.”
“Do you really?” His sandy-colored brows rose.
“Yup.” Tara had done a bit of running herself lately. She glanced at Jace and found him looking in her direction. “What? You don’t believe me? Jace, I totally do understand.”
“No, I do believe you.” He smiled, a small, sad lifting of one corner of his mouth. “You’re right. We’re not friends, so why would you bother lying to me?”
“Exactly.” She nodded. “Same reason why you wouldn’t bother lying to me about what’s going on with your ex.”
This strange collaboration of theirs might just work out after all. It seemed they were both running away from something. Jace from Jacqueline. Tara from seeing Logan with his new wife.
“We’ll be in the next town by afternoon, then we’ll look for a hotel and see about doing laundry.” Jace was obviously changing the subject.
That was fine with her. “All right.”
Now that they had their mutual understanding settled, they could move on to other things. Perfect.
“Oh, I gave your cell phone number to the guy handling my lawn jobs while I’m gone, in case he needs to get in touch with me.”
Tara raised a brow but decided, in the interest of keeping the peace and in deference to all Jace had done for her lately, she wouldn’t comment on his making that assumption without asking her first. “Fine.”
“Thanks.”
It was short, but at least it had been something. Tara responded just as short. “No problem.”
And so the truce continued.
Chapter Eight
“Today was a good day.” Tara smiled and looked as if she
Tmeant it.
“Was it?” Jace asked, surprised.
“Sure. We did all our laundry so we have clean clothes again. We went shopping. You got shorts so you can stop flashing me your panties. Now, we’re going out—”
“First of all, men don’t wear panties.” Jace frowned as he interrupted her. “Second, I warned you when we agreed to share a room you might end up seeing things you wouldn’t like, such as me in my drawers.”
She grinned wide. “I know. I’m just cutting up with you.”
He wasn’t finished quite yet. “And third, are you even old enough to be going in here?”
Jace paused with his hand on the door of the bar they’d spotted when they’d first pulled into town. It was close enough they could walk back to their hotel if they had to, not that he was planning on getting drunk.
They were just going to kill some time so they didn’t have to be cooped up in the hotel room all night with nothing to do, but if Tara wasn’t over twenty-one they’d be turning around and looking for somewhere appropriate for the underage sister of his best friend—such as that fast food chain with the game room for the kids.
“Yes, I’m old enough, you idiot.” Scowling so deeply he had to laugh, Tara reached past him and yanked the door open herself. She strutted inside and headed directly to the bartender.
For lack of anything else to do, he followed her in. Jace arrived at the bar in time to hear her ask, “Anything on special?”
Wiping the wooden surface with a white rag, the bartender nodded. “Dollar bottles of domestic beer tonight.”
“Then I’ll have one of those.” While reaching into her pocket, Tara glanced over her shoulder at Jace. “You want one?” She pulled out a folded bill and laid it on the newly cleaned surface.
“Yeah, but let me get it.” Jace reached for his own wallet.
“No. You paid for the room and for the burgers. The least I can do is buy you a dollar beer.”
“All right. Thank you.” Knowing her financial situation, he wouldn’t let her pay for much, but this he’d let her do. It was kind of nice having a woman offer to pay for a change, even if it was just a beer.
She turned back around and slid the money toward the server. “Make that two, please.”
Jace glanced around the place as the bartender got her change. “Looks like some of the guys are already here.”
Two bottles in her hands, Tara followed his stare toward the table of young bull riders in the back corner. “We can go over and say hello to them if you want to. It’s fine with me.”
“Nah, I don’t—”
“Jace!” Dillon had spotted them from his place at the table and was waving him over.
In his role as surrogate big brother, Jace had been planning on keeping Tara away from these guys. If not at the arena, where she’d have to be in contact with them for her job, then at least at the bar he’d been dumb enough to take her to. Now, no such luck.
Jace waved to Dillon and glanced down at Tara, taking the bottle she handed him. “Okay, but just for a minute.”
She shrugged. “Whatever you want. They’re your friends.”
Dillon was, maybe. He was okay, married and faithful. But the other guys? Jace wasn’t so sure about them. Justin was back there, concussion and all. He’d already almost fallen off the examining table in the medical room from being under Tara’s spell, so they shouldn’t be hanging out with him.
Then there was this new kid on the circuit, Klint Daily. Jace didn’t know enough about him to form an opinion based on facts. Until he knew for sure what Klint’s deal was, Jace would like to keep Tara away from him, too.
All he did know for certain was that some of the riders were real players. A different girl at every event. Love ’em and leave ’em. Never sticking around long enough to worry about the consequences. Tara was not getting involved with any one of them. Not on his watch.
As they made their way to the back of the room, the irony wasn’t lost on him. There’d been a time the love ’em and leave ’em game had been the one he’d played. That had been before Jacqueline. It felt as if that was a lifetime ago. It might as well have been.
“Guys.” That was all the greeting Jace had for the young guns who seemed far too interested in the girl he’d put himself in charge of for the next few weeks. He sure as hell wasn’t going to introduce her and hand her over to them on a silver platter. Sure it was rude, but they’d get over it.
“Pull up a chair.” Dillon made the offer, but it was Klint who jumped up from his seat.
He eyeballed Tara. “Here, take mine. I’m tired of sitting, anyway.”
“Um, okay. Thanks.” Tara moved to sit in the chair he held out. He even pushed it in for her. The g
uy was working it hard.
Jace narrowed his gaze at the cocky newcomer. He grabbed an empty chair from a nearby table for himself and sat, leaning closer to Dillon. “Hey. What’s his deal?”
“Klint? No deal that I know of. Why?”
“Nothing.” Jace leaned back and sipped from his bottle, but his attention never left Klint and the brilliant smile that seemed only for Tara.
“I thought you said nothing was going on with you and the new doctor chick.” Dillon cocked a brow.
“Tara?” Why did Dillon keep asking that? “Nothing is going on. I already told you that last time you asked.”
“All right. Just checking.”
“And why were you checking? You’re happily married with a baby and a damn gorgeous wife. How you landed her, I don’t know, but still—”
“Hey, now. No need to get insulting. Just looking out for your best interest, man.”
“My best interest? Really. How’s that?”
“When you guys were up at the bar, Klint was asking about Tara’s status.”
Jace shot Klint a look. “Next time he asks, you can tell him her status is off limits.”
That’s how Tuck would want it. Hell, that’s how Jace wanted it, too. No woman in her right mind would hook up with a full-time bull rider. He should know, having been one of them.
While Jace wrestled with his thoughts, Tara was smiling big time at Klint, who was buying shots for her from the girl walking around with a tray full of them.
Crap. “Uh, Tara. I don’t think you should be drinking anything stronger than beer.” And not too many of those either, if Jace had anything to do with it.
She frowned at him. “Why not?”
“Because I think that right there is a bad idea.” Jace tipped his head at the blue-colored shot poised in her hand.
“Then you don’t have to have any. Doesn’t mean I can’t.”
Jace reached across and gripped her forearm before she raised the alcohol to her lips. “Tara, I mean it.”